Work Text:
“And yes, I’ll admit, I am jealous. I’m jealous of every minute you spend with him, of every concerned expression you send his way, of every tear shed, of every glance, every touch, and every thought. I want to rip him to pieces and purge him from your mind and from your heart. But I can’t
.”
―
Colleen Houck
Marley POV
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or do I have to sit here guessing?” Spencer asked as he wrapped an arm around me while we sat in the park on our favourite bench watching the world go by. I just shrugged and took a gulp of sweet hot coffee as I avoided all eye contact with Spence, one of the many problems with dating a profiler was that he always knew when I was upset about something. “Marley, we’re meant to share everything.”
“Everything? Because there are some things I do to look this beautiful that should really remain a secret.” I tried a weak attempt at humour while he pulled me tighter against his chest so I could lean my head back against his shoulder where I could look up into his hazel eyes smiling down at me.
“You forget I see you in the morning, and you’re always beautiful.” I snorted; only someone in love could think the bed head, bleary eyed, unbrushed teeth look counted as beautiful. I sat up again and turned to smile at him, his eyes looked so open and honest that I sighed and prepared to tell him the ridiculous thing that was bugging the hell out of me.
“Beth.” I admitted quietly.
“Beth? Hotch’s Beth.”
“Do we know any other Beth?” I snarled back with unnecessary roughness.
“What’s wrong with her? Doesn’t Jack like her, isn’t she very nice?” I rolled my eyes at his questions because they pinpointed my exact problem; there was nothing wrong with her. Jack liked her, she was perfectly pleasant, she didn’t even treat me like ‘the help’, hell I was even invited to her house for dinner when Aaron and Jack went! She was perfect, and that just annoyed the hell out of me.
“Nothing.” I mumbled. “That’s my problem. I think Aaron loves her, so does Jack and she’s nice to everyone. Even me. She’s perfect.” I couldn’t help the bitterness that seeped into my voice like poison.
“Are you jealous? Of Hotch’s girlfriend… Do you… like Hotch?” His asked in conversion, his brow knitted together as he stammered over the question, trying to work out why the hell I could be jealous of Beth.
“Are you serious?!” I shrieked, unable to comprehend how my genius lover had come to that conclusion. “I. Love. You.-” I poked him in the chest with each word to emphasise my declaration, and took a perverse pleasure that he winced on the “you.” He should after seriously asking if he wasn’t the love of my life. “I will never love anyone else but you. And even if, hypothetically, I could then Aaron would not be the Hotchner I chose.”
“You said that everything was platonic between you and Sean.” He mumbled quietly and I felt guilty, his abandonment issues made it hard for him to trust that this was going to work out. He just didn’t think he was worth it and that cut me like a knife because he was truly perfect. I loved him with every fibre of my being, even when we fought and yelled and he drove me crazy I still loved him. I still wanted things to work out and knew in my heart that it would. He was the only person I’d ever loved like this; the person I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
“It is! How many times do I have to tell you I love you before you believe me?” I sighed in exasperation.
“Once more?” He asked coyly and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I Love You, Spencer Reid.” I leaned forwards and kissed him. “I love you,” I repeated just in case he hadn’t guessed the first twenty thousand times I’d told him.
“So why are you jealous of Beth?” I sighed and picked at my cuticles: I wasn’t getting out of this.
“She does everything I do and she sleeps with Aaron. Things are getting serious between them, and soon he’ll want me out.” I bit my lip and shook my head; Aaron really liked her, hell I thought he might love her, and who was going to choose the help over the love of their life?
“I don’t think they’re moving in together any time soon, and even if they did he wouldn’t get rid of you. You say I need to have more faith in us but you need to have more faith in him. And, if you did have to move out, would that be so bad? We could move in together?” He looked like a puppy dog waiting for me to hit him as he waited for my answer. He shouldn’t have looked so worried, his offer made my insides squirm with pleasure; it wasn’t like I didn’t spend my fair share of time at his apartment and he’d spent the last few months practically living at Hotch’s while he’d been away, but him wanting me to live with him was something else. Something special.
“I would love to move in with you, I would just love it not to be because Aaron threw me out. Love you.” He grinned before kissing me passionately, his hands wrapping themselves in my hair as he tilted my head backwards so he could deepen the kiss. I heard a wolf whistle, probably from one of the teenagers playing football across from us, but I couldn’t care less as one of Spencer’s hands pressed on the small of my back to drag me closer to his body until I could feel his heart thumping in his chest. Just beside mine. Perfect.
“He wouldn’t throw you out,” He promised me breathlessly when we finally parted. “and to prove it I’ve got a proposition for you. Let’s wait a year and then, after you graduate let’s get a place together.” I nodded my agreement before kissing him gently on the lips.
“Let’s do it.”
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Spencer POV
I’d walked up to Hotch’s office and chickened out about five times before Morgan asked if I was asking him for Marley’s hand in marriage or telling him I’d got her pregnant. Once he’d established it was neither of those he told me to suck it up and go talk to him. I was praying he’d be on the phone or heading out to a meeting but when I knocked on the door he beckoned me in.
“Is everything alright Reid?” He asked and I bit my lip as I pulled at my cuticles; I was about to break one of the intrinsic team rules. We had many team rules from the generic ‘don’t profile other members of the team… including newbies’ to the specific ‘don’t speak to Morgan the morning after his team lose their game until he’s eaten Garcia’s consolation cake.’ The two of us had an unwritten rule that we kept our personal lives and work lives completely separate; my relationship with his ‘surrogate daughter’ was never to interfere with work. Today however, I was bringing our personal problems to the office, but really when else was I going to talk to him alone about this?
“Can we talk about… things?” I fiddled anxiously with my crooked tie, pulling at it to try and loosen it, the room suddenly felt too hot and stuffy, I wanted to run back to the safety of my little desk but my feet were rooted to the floor and all I could do was stand there like an idiot desperately trying to avoided all eye contact.
“What kind of things?” He asked and I finally worked up the nerve to look up at him only to find him anxiously eyeing me up, as he tried to guess what had got me so agitated. He was probably still remembering a time not so long ago when I was considering leaving the team behind.
“About... Marley.” I finished quietly as I waited for his anger that I’d chosen to discuss this here.
“I wondered when you’d come in. She’s been acting strangely recently.” I rolled my eyes, of course if I’d seen the signs that things were amiss then he definitely had. Despite the fact I loved her and probably spent more time with her, I had to remember I didn’t have the monopoly of understanding Marley’s feelings. Hotch could just read her just as easily as I could.
“I think we should have dinner; I hear they’re called double dates, where the four of us go out together and…”
“I know how a double date works Reid, what I’m trying to fathom out is why you want us to have one?” He paused for a minute, his brow furrowed as he tried to understand what was going on. Then the realisation dawned on him. “Beth.”
“She’s worried about what’s going to happen to her… she think’s you’ll want her to move out so Beth can move in.” He nodded sadly.
“How about Friday? We can sort everything out once and for all.” He looked back to his paperwork as if to signify that this conversation was over. I waited for a few more seconds, wanting to say something but he refused to look up. Slowly I got up and headed out of the room, wondering if I’d done the right thing in bringing it up.
“Wow from the look on your face Hotch didn’t take your baby news too well.” Morgan joked as he slammed me on the back. “Don’t worry I’ll jump in front of the bullet when he comes for you.”
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Marley POV
“We need to talk.” I looked up and involuntarily shuddered at my boss’ harsh tone. I smiled at Jack who was sat doing his homework before following him into his office. Walking into his office always made me shudder, I was never usually allowed in there and the stack of ominous brown folders made me feel sick. Each one represented another ruined life. I wondered what had happened to mine.
“Everything alright? Have I done something?” I added quietly feeling the floor drop out from under me; he never usually made us talk in here, hell most the time we discussed things in front of Jack even if it was some niggling problem as Aaron thought it was important for him to understand that every relationships had ups and downs. He shouldn’t just think we adored each other 24/7.
“Marley I held you in my arms when I thought you were dying. Three times now.” I took an involuntary step back and waited for the rest of his tirade, wondering what the hell I had done to provoke such a reaction. My unfortunate habit of nearly dying several times was a taboo subject in our home and here Aaron was angrily reminding me. “We’re family.”
“I know, Aaron… I… what?” I squeaked as I tried to understand what the hell I’d done.
“Marley this will be your home for as long as you want it to be. Whatever happens between Beth and me, whether we breakup or get married you will always be a part of my life. A part of Jack’s life. You will always be one of us. Okay?”
“Spencer spoke to you?” I surmised as I kept my eyes firmly planted on the floor, my face burning up as I felt equal parts ashamed of myself and angry that Spencer had spoken to Aaron without asking me first.
“Yes, he wanted us to go on a “double date” to sort things out.” He snorted before grasping my upper arm and using it to steer me to sit on the black leather sofa he kept in his office which I would sometimes find him sleeping on after a particularly hard case. All the while I kept my eyes firmly planted on the cream carpet, wanting it to open up and swallow me whole.
“Aaron, it’s not that I don’t like her. Not that it’s important whether I like her or not because I’m not sleeping with her. But I do like her. I mean she’s very nice and very pretty. Not that I’m saying you’re not pretty. I mean… Wow I sound like Spence.” We both chuckled and I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. “I just… I think she’s nice and a good match. I was just being a jealous idiot; I guess I just don’t like how much Jack likes her. I’m sorry.” I knew I was blushing scarlet; I sounded like a twelve year old whose dog had run to another person.
“If it helps I know Jess used to be worried about how much Jack liked you. She was worried in case Jack loved you more than his Mom, and yes he probably does love you as much as her. But he still loves her.”
“Aaron, I know.” I gasped, still desperately praying for that hole to appear and swallow me up. I sounded like such an idiot and Aaron’s patronising pandering wasn’t helping. “I just feel a bit vulnerable at the minute. Holly lost her job.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Has she moved out of the area?”
“No, but we were the last two. When I first began I knew seven other Nannies at Jack’s school, and one by one they’ve all been let go or have moved onto something else. None of them see their kids anymore. I just… I just hate thinking about never seeing Jack again.” I sighed and allowed him to hug me while I kept my eyes firmly on the floor: tears blurred more from anguish now then embarrassment.
“That wouldn’t happen because I’m ninety nine per cent sure Jack would never stop crying if you left. Nor would I.” He added with one of his rare grins and I laughed. “Anyway we’re all going out Friday at six to try Reid’s new social convention, “the double date.””
“Any chance you can refrain from telling Beth about this conversation?”
“As long as you promise not to lynch her during dessert.” He grinned again before patting my shoulder and heading out to find Jack.
“Not funny.” I muttered under my breath, all the while making a mental note not to drink too much on Friday. I wasn’t the happiest drunk after all.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
“Do I look alright?” I asked Jack, although why I wasn’t sure, he was hardly a fashion expert. He nodded enthusiastically before going back to reading his school book; he’d really turned into a little book worm, I took him to the library every week so that he could stock up. He’d turn into Spence soon.
I finished straightening my hair before pulling up the right side with a sparkly diamond clip that Garcia had given me for my last birthday. I hoped it wasn’t too obvious that I was trying very hard to make a good impression. I’d pulled on Spencer’s favourite dress; a black backless one that I wore whenever I was trying to get him to agree with something. Hopefully its charm power would also rub off on Beth. I blushed furiously as I realised I was treating her the way I treated my boyfriend. I tried to remember that I had the upper hand in this; I’d lived with Aaron for almost three years, Jack adored me and my handsome, loving boyfriend would be by my side. What was I worrying about?
Aaron appeared in the doorway fiddling with silver cufflinks ‘Jack’ had brought him last Christmas. I smirked as I eyed him up and down; his favourite black shirt and slacks as well as leather shoes that were so shiny they blinded me every time I looked down. Looks like someone else was trying to make an impression. Then again whenever he went out with Beth he’d dressed like a nervous teenager before prom. I knew how much he liked her; hell he’d never really been with anyone else since I’d known him. Three frigging years. I couldn’t imagine being alone, without Spender to curl up with at night. He deserved to be happy, and I knew I sure as hell couldn’t stand in his way.
Beth and Spencer were meeting us there but both sent apologetic texts as we arrived; Spencer had been hijacked by Morgan as he left the office and had spent thirty minutes helping him finish a report while Beth had had a difficult client. So the two of us got cosy in the fancy Italian restaurant Rossi had recommended to Aaron for a “sophisticated night out” as he’d put it. I’d never been before, it seemed more for upper class business meetings than the family friendly or cosy romantic haunts I usually frequented but I could see why Aaron thought it would be perfect for a double date. The atmosphere was friendly but not too mushy; no violins playing or mood lighting. We were sat in a booth near the back of the restaurant where we could see both the front entrance and the door to the kitchen (something I’d sadly learnt was very important to Aaron and Spencer, another perk of the BAU), although in this case I was grateful to be able to see the entrance as I could watch through the glass front for any sign of my boyfriend, or Beth. After several more minutes I gave in and grabbed one of the nice white rolls from the bread basket and began pulling it apart, not even bothering with butter just popping pieces in my mouth as Aaron began talking about tactics for the new season of Jack’s soccer team. While I’d been a complete novice when we’d first started coaching soccer I had become somewhat of an expert and could hold my own in any conversation around the sport. Perhaps not my greatest claim to fame but I was proud of it anyway. The two of us got so engrossed in our conversation that neither of us noticed Beth’s arrival until she was stood beside us.
“Hi.” She smiled, looking slightly nervous as she swayed from foot to foot. Aaron jumped up and kissed her cheek before pulling out the chair next to him for her to sit in.
“You look lovely.” I smiled across at her, she too seemed to have made a special effort tonight, wearing a black sleeveless dress with a red velvet shawl.
“No Spencer?” She asked as she too grabbed one of the rolls from the basket and began slathering butter on.
“No he’s been waylaid by Morgan. Hopefully he’ll turn up soon.” I smiled, while I desperately hoped he’d hear my plea as I sat feeling like the third wheel. It was sweet to watch the two of them though; Aaron pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and leaned forward to kiss again. I wondered if this was what he’d been like with Haley. I’d never been able to quite figure out their relationship; they’d been divorced for several years before her death and Aaron had admitted to me that they hadn’t been happy for years before that but I knew losing her had almost killed him. Honestly I believed he’d still loved her like a wife and probably always would. Sometimes, when he’d been a little drunk and reminisced on her smile, her smell, her touch and the first time they met, I would wonder if he’d ever be able to truly move on. Now however he was chortling away with Beth, one of those rare laughs when he was honest to God happy. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight.
“So Marley how’s school?” Beth asked and I took the opening, talking a little bit about my classes and professors before asking her about her work by which point Spencer appeared breathlessly beside our table full of apologies. I leaned up and kissed him before sliding across the booth so he could sit down beside me.
“What was wrong with Morgan?” I asked as he too grabbed a roll, sadly some disgusting health food bread as we’d eaten all the nice calorific ones, from the basket as his stomach gurgled loudly.
“Don’t ask.” He let out an exasperated sigh. “He needed my opinion on a case and then he was trying to talk me into helping out his baseball team.”
“Baseball team?” I repeated incredulously.
“Yes they need a stand-in in case one of the team’s wife goes into labour. He said he wouldn’t let me leave until I agreed to it so now I have to go to the park to practice.” He sighed and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“So you like sports then?” Beth asked innocently making Aaron and I crack up in hysterical giggles at the idea.
“No, I prefer books to bats.” Spencer answered calmly while the two of us tried to regain our composure but failed miserably. “But Marley’s really into sports, she loves bike riding and long runs.”
“Really Marley? I love biking we should go sometime.” Beth smiled broadly and I nodded my agreement, too flustered to do anything else but note the sly grin on Spencer’s face. Obviously he was paying me back for giggling at his baseball news; Spencer could be as catty as a girl sometimes. As he’d once told me “Never wage a practical joke war against an MIT graduate because we have a history of going nuclear.” I swatted his thigh under the table emitting a chuckle from him as he perused the menu leaving me floundering in a conversation about mountain bikes and the best trails around Washington.
“So what’s everyone having? I hear the chicken parmesan is excellent.” Aaron offered, smirking slightly into his menu at the conversation.
“Parmesan comes from the Italian parmigiana. One common theory attributes the name to the use of Parmesan cheese while another believes it comes from an alteration of the Sicilian word parmiciana, meaning ‘shutter slat’.” Spencer spouted, not even looking up from the menu to witness Beth’s gawp at his impressive knowledge of the Italian language. After the waiter came to take our orders, Beth asked if he’d ever been to Italy since he seemed to know so much about the culture but he answered that he’d regretfully never left America although he wished he had. We’d spoken at length about going away somewhere like Venice or Paris perhaps next summer seeing as neither of us had been to Europe but we’d yet to plan anything concrete while Spence struggled to get time off. As an art connoisseur Beth however, had been to Florence and Venice several times and filled us in on the many wonderful museums and galleries she’d seen. It did sound magical and I couldn’t help but smile as Spencer’s eyes lit up from at the idea of visiting such historic buildings.
“We should toast.” Aaron offered when the wine arrived. “To friends.”
“Friends.” We all repeated, laughing as the glasses clinked. Spencer had had a point; it was nice going out with Aaron and Beth. Seeing them together, Aaron happy and smiling, cemented in my mind that it was stupid being jealous of her. Aaron needed to move on and if Jack liked her then that just made everything a little easier. I leaned across and placed a chaste kiss on Spencer’s lips, knowing he’d understand it for what it meant: that he was right and I was an idiot. He kissed me back, a little more forcefully and I understood his message: there’s nothing to forgive.
“That was nice, we should do it again sometime.” Beth offered several hours later as we stood on the freezing sidewalk before parting; Jack had a slumber party so the four of us were branching off for the evening.
“It really was a great evening.” I agreed with a genuine, warm smile before throwing caution to the wind and hugging her but she laughed and hugged me back. Spencer had had to park around the corner so we parted company and headed our separate ways. Spencer’s hand found mine and squeezed my fingers; his warm hand a nice contrast from the icy chill of the air around us. Who needed gloves.
“Well since that was a success I think we should go home and celebrate.” Spencer whispered suggestively in my ear but I pulled away from his grip and turned to give him a sly grin, a mirror image of his from the restaurant.
“Sorry I need to be up early to practice my mountain biking.”
“Marley!” He groaned before lunging forward and pulling me against his chest while I wriggled to free myself, my lungs aching as I struggled to breathe through the giggles. I wasn’t quite sure how it happened but we ended up locked in an embrace tickling one another on the sidewalk. We must have looked like insane idiots but neither of us cared.
“You know you can burn almost one hundred and fifty calories having sex. That’s better than mountain biking and baseball.” He whispered in my ear. A shiver ran down my spine and my knees shook half with and anticipation and half from his hot breath caressing my ear.
“Well then, we better get home.”