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Fastened and reckless movements resulted in Louis and Harry frantically falling down on the bed, with their bodies entwined and their lips attached to each others. Louis frantically started unbuttoning the shirt Harry was wearing while Harry kept on attacking Louis’ neck, sucking and nibbling on the delicate skin.
“W-we shouldn’t be doing this”, Harry said detaching his lips from Louis’ neck while Louis simply dove into him, kissing the living daylights out of Harry. Louis didn’t say a word even though he knew what this could result into, what this could mean to Harry. Louis knew every single possibility but his mind couldn’t think straight when he had Harry under him responding back to the simplest of his touches. For once, Louis didn’t want to think about the consequences or fight his inner battles.
Harry was practically writhing under Louis’ touch while Louis looked straight up into Harry’s face just as he was about to unbutton his jeans. Unable to form a coherent reply, Harry simply nodded his head and let Louis take over. He knew that the next morning he was going to wake up to disappointment and that he wouldn’t be able to glue back any of the broken pieces of his heart but he was ready to give that up, just to feel this intimate to Louis, closer to him, their body in complete sync.
“L-Louis”, Harry kept moaning out Louis’ name while he kept pumping his length, bobbing his head up and down in rhythmic motions.
“I-I am c-close”, Harry mumbled out to which Louis detached his lips from Harry’s member and pried the lube and condom out of his pocket.
Harry realised that Louis hasn’t even said a single word since the moment they met. Louis simply claimed stake on him and brought him back to the hotel room that the University was paying for. The University trip was definitely going to be something worth remembering for the rest of their lives. Last year of college and probably the last year of heartbreak for Harry. Maybe he’ll actually leave this place and find someone who would treat him like he deserves to be treated and not someone who treats him like a dirty little secret, a secret that is best hidden away in the confinements of the hotel room.
Harry felt used but well, not literally because he was actually giving consent to every single move that Louis made and as pathetic as it may sound, he loved every single touch of Louis, frantic or soft.
Louis flipped Harry abruptly, prying his knees open with his hands and lubed up his fingers. He carefully opened Harry up, pushing his fingers past the tight ring of muscles, hitting Harry’s prostrate occasionally. When Harry gave him the signal that he was ready, Louis tore the condom packet apart and simply lubed himself up before positioning himself and started pushing into Harry, slow and deep.
“F-Fuck.. Uh.. Nghh.. Lou-Louis.. Faster...Please..Faster”, Harry was so close, completely on the edge that a few frantic thrusts, their skin slapping against each other, warmth engulfing them made him release his load on his stomach while Louis kept pounding into him chasing his release. With a few more thrusts, Louis came into the condom with a shout of Harry’s name. That was the first word that Louis said that night.
After they were both cleaned and dressed back up in clean boxers, Harry expected Louis to simply throw away the condom, pick his clothes up and leave just like the few previous times he had done but Louis settled on the bed, facing the opposite side to Harry and flicked off the bedside lamp.
Harry settled down on his side of the bed realising that Louis leaving straightaway would have hurt less than it does now. Because this gave him hopes, hopes that shouldn’t be blooming because they never lasted. Louis wasn’t there to stay, even when he knew about Harry’s feelings for him, he wasn’t going to stick around, he never did. With that last thought in his mind and a teardrop trickling down the side of his face, Harry flicked off the lamp on his bedside and dozed off to sleep with a heart that he was sure was going to be broken the next morning.
*******
Sunlight poured through the cracks of the open windows making Harry slightly aware of the time, it was morning. He carefully rolled over to get a peek at the other side of the bed only to find it empty, without any trace of Louis in it. Louis was gone. Well, Harry doesn’t even know what he was expecting. It’s not like Louis was going to stay.
Just when he thought he was used to having this feeling, the feeling of being abandoned and rejected, his mind reeled back to the events of last night where Louis took him apart, explored his skin, inch by inch, savouring the taste of his skin. Harry didn’t even realise but just the thought of what happened last night was enough to make his dick go hard and rigid again, begging for some touch, begging for a release.
Harry started pumping his dick; his hands making frantic yet languid motions, mimicking the same as what Louis did last night. His breathing became erratic as he was almost close to his release. A few more thrusts and he was cumming in his hands, with a quiet mumble of Louis’ name on his lips.
He hated himself. He hated himself for doing this. He hated himself for being so vulnerable around the person that made him feel like nothing but a piece of garbage, someone whose constant bullying and rejection was something that Harry had to endure on a daily basis.
He left his bed and extracted the liquor bottle from his backpack and settled back on the bed, uncapping the bottle and chugging down a good amount in one go. He hated what he did to himself. He drank until he started feeling dizzy and went back to sleep, never wanting to wake up again.
“I hate you”, were the last words that left Harry’s lips before sleep overtook his senses.
*******
It had already been a week, a week since the University trip, a week since Louis and Harry last interacted. It was time for being back to the normal classes, the normal and old life. Harry expected that things might actually be a little different now but when the first blow came, he knew that all this thoughts were just mere thoughts.
“Well..well..well... Lookie who we have got here.. Hey Henry”, Stan growled into Harry’s face and it would be a lie if someone said that Harry wasn’t scared.
The group of boys that Louis belonged to were the most popular one in the school, part of the football team and just the University frat boys who were every girl’s beautiful dream. Stan, Alex, Mitch, Luke and of course Louis himself. Most of the times, it was Louis who would take the lead into humiliating Harry in front of the entire school but well, looks like it was Stan this time.
Harry simply stood back up, clutching his books closer to his chest, embracing the fact that he wasn’t going to get out of it easily. Well, not anymore.
“Leave me alone”, Harry mumbled out softly.
“What? What did the princess say? Love, we haven’t even done anything yet”, Oli’s voice came through making Harry alarmed and scared. What were they going to do?
That’s when Harry looked up, looking straight into those blue eyes seeking some kind of warmth or comfort but instead was met with a hard and cold stare.
“So... Harold, the princess.. Got any dick up your ass?”, Louis spoke staring directly into Harry’s face with a smirk making Harry feel so small and incompetent because even with those harsh and cruel words thrown his way, Harry still tried to find that single percent of good in Louis, to find that boy who asked for permission before he did anything with Harry, the boy that cared. But unfortunately, Harry couldn’t find him.
Harry has always been tossed aside and rejected all his life, he is used to it but with Louis, he wanted to stand his ground and not let him get away with it.
“As a matter of fact, I did. Just a week back and it was amazing”, Harry wanted to say it was the worst sexual experience of his life but well, he couldn’t.
“And, Nice Shirt, Luke. Make sure to wash it and return it back to me”, and with that Harry walked away leaving a few questioning faces and a very shocked Louis Tomlinson.
Just as he was about to exit the building, he felt a strong push and he tumbled onto the ground. Harry was almost sure who it could have been. He turned around to find that his assumptions were definitely right because there stood Louis Tomlinson, boiling red with anger.
“Why did you do it, you asshole?”, Louis’ voice was almost a shout.
“What did I do?”, Harry enquired.
“Why did you say that to Luke that the shirt he was wearing was yours?”, Louis was almost close to losing it and beat the shit out of Harry for outing him in front of his friends but he tried to cool himself down as much as he could.
“Well, it is mine and I just wanted it back. That’s all”, Harry didn’t even realise how he mustered up all the courage that made him answer back directly into Louis’ face. But well, it was time he stood up for himself and did it.
“Why did you take my shirt, Louis?”, Harry asked patiently waiting for an answer.
“I didn’t have a clean t-shirt to wear that night”, Louis’ answer was so vague that even Harry knew that he was lying
“Why did you take my shirt, Louis?”, Harry repeated himself.
“i-i uh.. wanted something of you”, and if they weren’t standing that close, Harry could promise that he wouldn’t have heard Louis say that.
“You could have had me, you know. You could have had the entire of me if you were strong enough to get your shit together and not make me feel used every single timeafter abandoning me right after you get your way with me”, Harry didn’t want to cry but he knew that it wouldn’t be long enough that he would be able to hold himself together.
“I am scared”, Louis’ voice cracked in the end which made Harry stare up at Louis only to find his eyes red and his cheeks wet.
“I was too, you know. I was scared too when two years back I finally bucked up the courage to tell my parents that I was bisexual, I was scared too. I was shaking and then I was brought back to reality when my father’s palm came right across my cheek hard and fast and the next thing I know, I am homeless with nothing but a bag of clothes and no money to spare. I wondered off to the shelters and stayed there for a few months and still attended my school and finished it. I got the scholarship here and well, here I am. I was scared too, Louis. But I survived, I survived when I was wondering off on the streets the first few nights. But then I came here and met you and you make me feel like it would have been better if I actually didn’t survive those days, Louis. You know why? Because its better to die off in an instant than die every single day with the burden in your heart of knowing that the person you love treats you like a commodity, used and trashed.”, and with that Harry stormed off not even wanting to hear any more of Louis’ nonsense excuses.
Harry didn’t even know when his feet walked him off into a bar and he was drunk out of his mind returning back home with a girl in his arm. He hated it.
*******
“Who’s Louis?”, a sudden voice startled Harry from sleep and turned around groaning to find a girl on the other side of the bed.
“Huh?” it was probably going to take him some time to register what was going on because he was not even fully awake.
“Louis.. You screamed out his name while fucking me. Well, not to make it any awkward but that was pretty shitty of you to do”, the girl rolled off the bed wrapping herself in the duvet and went to the bathroom to put on her clothes.
Harry groaned into the pillow in the meanwhile, hating himself for doing what he did. He was so drunk that he didn’t even realise that he did that.
The girl waved him goodbye and went on with her day. Harry went back to his bed and just as he was about to switch off the world and go back to sleep, he felt someone rapidly pounding on the door. For a second, he thought about letting the person do that and make them go away but he decided against it and walked over to the door in his boxers only to find Louis standing there, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.
“What do you want?”, Harry was in no mood of entertaining Louis in any way today. All he wanted was to get this over with and let sleep overcome his senses.
“I –uh.. Can I come in?”, Louis asked hesistantly. Harry simply stepped aside making room for Louis to enter the room and walked over to the couch plopping down on it with a thud.
“So? Out with it, Tomlinson. What do you want?”, Louis was so nervous that you could simply take a look at him and know the same.
“I love you”, was the first thing that came out of Louis’ lips.
Harry sat there frozen, trying to gather his thoughts thinking if what he listened to were correct or not. Did Louis just-
“What?”, Harry stood up abruptly from the couch and charged towards Louis who backed away only to hit the wall in the process.
“I knew you could sink low but this is definitely a new one for even you, Louis. You know how I feel about you, you know how this going to mess me up. You know every single bit of it but you still don’t fucking care”, Harry was fuming by the time he stopped speaking.
“I am not joking, Harry. I mean it. I have meant it the moment it slipped past my lips. I love you, I always have, since the very first day that you bumped into my life with that perfect face and an even perfect heart of yours. I was scared, Harry. I was scared of being bashed and bullied in Uni which is why I always ended up abandoning you. I am sorry, I am so sorry”, Louis was crying by the time he was finished speaking. He pulled his sleeves up to his palm and wiped off his tears with the back of him hands blinking up at Harry waiting for any kind of response from him.
“So, you were scared of being bullied and that was the reason you bullied me in Uni and let your friends do it too? And the next day you would come around and fuck me into the mattress, making me feel used and rejected only to come around the next day telling me that you love me and you want my forgiveness? Do you think it’s that easy Louis? Do you know what I have been going through the past two years when one day you would find me good enough for your pleasures and then toss me aside the next day? Do you even have any idea what it feels like falling in love with the person you know would never love you back? It’s like someone keeps twisting a knife into your heart, Louis and you what’s the worst part? The person twisting the knife is you, it’s always been you.”. Harry’s entire body was trembling by the time he stopped and he just looked into Louis’ eyes only to find him back away and leave the room, banging the door loudly in the meantime.
*******
Two weeks already passed by and Harry didn’t hear back from Louis anymore. He was pretty sure that Louis was drunk or simply messing with him. Harry was just putting himself out there only to be crushed by Louis. He was just done.
Every single day Harry would wait for his mobile screen to light up with a notification but it never came, it never happened and Harry was simply done. He was done thinking about the possibility of ever having the chance to imagine a life that includes Louis Tomlinson in a way that he wished for it to happen. It never will.
Just as Harry was about to enter the University campus, he found everyone frantically running around, some people towards the grounds while some kept whispering things to each other. Harry simply followed the trail of people only to find a small body being beaten around by four guys in the middle of the field. Harry couldn’t really see the victim but he very well knew who the other four were.
Walking closer to the spot, Harry found his feet rushing towards the small boy curled up in the middle of the ground because it was no one else but Louis, his entire body black and blue, his nose bleeding and his knuckles and lips busted open.
“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM, YOU FUCKING BASTARDS OR I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL BEAT YOU TILL DEATH. I’LL BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU. GO AWAY”, Harry was frantically breathing and he carefully pulled Louis’ bloodied body and cradled him closer not even realising when his own teardrops paved its way down his cheek.
Louis’ trembling hands came up and wiped off the rolling teardrops which made Harry start sobbing like a baby and holding Louis as close as he could ensuring not to hurt him even more.
“Wh-Why were they beating you?”, Harry asked, his voice cracked and raw.
Louis carefully sat up; Harry supporting his weight wincing when the sharp pain shot right from his back and Harry simply slipped his hand bringing Louis’ body closer to him, holding him close.
“They wanted to b-beat y-you up and I refused and s-stood u-up to them a-and told t-them I w-would tell the principal about it. I told them I w-wouldn’t let them hurt y-you anymore because you don’t deserve that and I guess, they just lost it. Thought I loved you and wanted to get in your pants which is why they started beating me up, i guess. I tried to fight bac-kk b-but I just couldn’t fight them all together”, Louis simply shrugged cleaning the blood off his nose.
“Prove it to me”, Harry whispered.
“What?”, Louis asked bewildered.
“That you love me. Prove it to me, Louis”, Harry looked down upon the small frame of Louis curled up around him and giving him a sad smile.
Louis simply nodded and launched himself towards Harry trying to kiss him, only for the pain to shoot right across his back and neck making him fall back on the ground. Harry simply looked down upon Louis, carefully lifting his hand to remove the strand of hair off Louis’ eyes and placing a gentle kiss on Louis’ forehead whispering a quiet “I love you” only for Louis to hear and cherish.
*******
A week later Harry’s phone did light up due to notification that made him smile like he haven’t for the past few years.
“Picking you up in 20 minutes. Love you”, the text said and it was from the person he wished to live his forever with.