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He had been standing there for several minutes, staring at his shoes, fists clenched and contemplating his next move. Izuku was waiting outside Toshinori’s apartment door, not knowing what he should do. He took a few more minutes to contemplate before taking in a breath and looking up at the buzzer. Forcing up the courage, he pressed the button and waited a few moments before he heard a shuffle and voice from the small intercom.
“Hello, is that you Midoriya?”
Izuku gulped, throat dry before replying, “Yes, its me. I came by for a visit!” he said, attempting to hide the raspy sound of his voice.
“One second--” he heard before a small blip. Izuku waited patiently and was tense, sweating a bit before Toshinori opened the door. Toshinori was in his casual overly large clothes, and he gave Izuku a smile with open his arms for a hug. Izuku was taken off guard a bit when Toshinori took a step to embrace him, and his breath got caught in his throat.
“It’s very good to see you again my boy! You’ve grown!”
“Y-yeah! It’s good to see you too All Might!” Izuku said as he returned the hug a bit hesitantly.
Izuku had grown quite a bit, and was now almost as tall as his mentor. He had gained more muscle and he toned out in his face and body. There are a few more scars on his arms compared to his first year in UA, but they seem to fit Izuku quite well. Toshinori let go of their embrace and continued to smile and take a good look at his predecessor.
“I still can’t believe you’ve grown into a fine young man. Come in come in! Let's have some tea”
Izuku nodded before following and entering the apartment.
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Toshinori’s apartment wasn’t anything special. It was small and well kept, say for a few hero memorabilia on one of the walls. The former hero now lived in an apartment complex for heroes. Unlabeled for safety and security reasons, only a few knew where to find it. Izuku had been fortunate enough to be given the address once he graduated, Toshinori graciously inviting him over for tea whenever he wanted.
Izuku was standing, looking at all the different memorabilia as Toshinori was getting the tea. He stared at the pictures and medals that had collected over time. He had noticed that All Might had a special open box, filled with letters and drawings clearly done by fans from all over. Izuku let out a small chuckle as he picked one letter up. It was very comforting to know that the Hero All Might kept things he got from fans. I made Izuku wonder if any of his fan letters ever made it to him, he’d be sure to ask him that at another time. Right now he wanted to talk to Toshinori for a very serious reason, one which, he can’t contemplate on what to do about.
“The tea is ready,” he heard behind him.
Izuku turned around to see Toshinori offer him a seat, with tea set on the table. Izuku gave a small grin before walking over and taking the seat. Toshinori poured the tea and gave Izuku his cup. Izuku stared at it for a moment before Toshinori spoke.
“So I see you all over the news now my boy, it's funny how the roles have reversed!” Toshinori gave a laugh. “How has it been? The press isn’t too overwhelming is it?”
Izuku snapped out of his thoughts to look at Toshinori and reply, “Oh, no no the press isn’t that bad! All the attention back at U.A made me used to it!” he chuckled.
“That’s good! I remember it was a bit overwhelming for me at first, but I’m glad that it doesn’t get to you. You don’t need that extra stress!”
Both chuckled before Izuku’s smile slowly turning into a frown. Toshinori noticed and put down his cup back on the table.
“I assume that’s not why you wanted to see me, however. Something’s been troubling you since you were outside my door, right?”
Izuku twitched for a second before sighing and also putting his cup down.
“Yes and I...I don’t even know how to approach you about it…” he admitted.
“You know you can come to me about anything, speak your mind.” Toshinori said, comforting in his voice.
Izuku gripped his knees, before closing his eyes.
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Sweat beating down his face and his hero suit slightly torn, Izuku was in the midst of battling a very dangerous villain. He had several other heroes fighting alongside him, some from his U.A days and others that are new faces. The situation had gotten out hand when the villain they were trying to detain had grown to become ten times his size. The troubling part was that there were only offensive heroes on the scene, which caused an issue on protecting the areas and citizens around the fight. Izuku was having a difficult time holding up, considering whatever the other heroes threw at the villain, the villain would be unfazed. He had a hard shell around his body, almost as strong as the old Noumu’s and he could regenerate rather quickly. Izuku managed to obliterate part of the villains side and arm, but it grew back, making his efforts pointless.
“If only Kirishima and Aizawa-sensei were here…” Deku muttered to himself, taking a moment to breath and think of another plan. A person was sent crashing a few feet next to him that snapped Izuku out of his train of thought. When the smoke cleared, he could see his spiky haired rival get up trembling, clearly beaten and bruised.
“Instead of….just standing there like a dumbass and thinking, how about you just keep throwing your fists! We’ve dealt with worse, so get off your fucking ass and get to it!!” he yelled at him before using his explosive fists to jump back into action.
In a way, he had a point. The situation they were in had no time or benefit in sitting back and thinking; this villain was ragging every second causing more and more damage, increasing the danger levels of this battle.
So Izuku straightened himself out and raced towards his companions to join them in the fight.
Their battle continued on, for what felt like an eternity. Both Red Riot and Eraserhead were informed of the situation and would be on their way, but in the meantime they all had to keep this villain at bay for as long as they could. The fight had spread farther since the villain was always moving, and people were running away. A panic had started, which is what these heroes feared.
The villain had become more agitated with the panic and was starting to attempt to attack the bystanders. He was held back for a moment with explosions and tape that Izuku was very familiar with, giving enough time for him to run in and SMASH at the enemy's legs. Doing so he completely demolished the villain’s legs and part of his lower torso, but as fate would have it the villain grew the legs back. However because of the loss of balance, the villain tumbled, causing nearby buildings to crash and fall.
To Izuku’s horror, a group of civilians who had been hiding came out of the alley next to the crumbling building.
It was as if time stopped completely in these next moments. Izuku let out a yell and bolted straight to the civilians because he knew that they wouldn’t be able to outrun the rubble. But if they couldn't outrun the falling building then neither could he. When the building fell on the civilians, Izuku slowed down for a moment, nearly stopping his breathing completely. Refusing to believe, what he just witnessed he let out a roar and ran faster to where the civilians once stood.
“MIDORIYA!!!” someone yelled, causing Izuku to look up to see his red friend shove him aside and take a loose piece of falling building to the face. He wiped the dust off his hardened face before turning to Izuku to give him a thumbs up. “Go!!” he said before joining their former teacher to finally put a stop to this villain. Izuku felt a relief, but that was quickly replaced with panic when he remembered his objective.
He got up and made it to the pile of rubble. He didn’t hesitate to start removing the debri and carefully help those who were under out. He didn’t care that some of his friends behind him were injured, nor did he stop to see that the villain had finally been shrunken down and defeated with Eraserhead’s help. His objective was to get these people out. He didn’t notice others starting to help, but he did notice when the first person had let out an arm and let out a soft cry. One by one the heroes were getting these people out carefully. Some were severely injured, and by some miracle a few were only left with only bruises and scratches. They managed to get 7 people out, and they believed that was all of them. But Izuku kept at it, because he knew he saw 8.
When he heard the sound of a soft groan, he immediately tore apart the concrete, throwing pieces to the side. What he witnessed under the rubble stopped his heart. There under him was a young boy who was impaled with rebar through his lower abdomen and was bleeding severely from the head.
“G..GET THE MEDICAL TEAM OVER HERE NOW!!!” Izuku shouted behind him, turning his attention back on the boy who was gasping for air. The boy shakingly reached out to grab a hold of the person in front of him and Izuku immediately grabbed his hand, cradling it in his.
“W-Who...?” the boy asked barely above a whisper.
“Hey, hey hey. You’ll be okay. We’re going to get you some help in just a second. Just keep your eyes open.” Izuku softened his voice, scooting closer to the boy so he could hold his upper body.
The boy looked up, vision going in and out of focus to look at Izuku. The boy’s eyes light up when he recognized that he was looking at the hero Deku.
“Y-You’re...Deku….!” his voice spiking up in pitch at his excitement.
Izuku felt a burning lump in his throat, feeling tears well up. Izuku forces himself to smile, and gripped the boy a bit closer.
“Y-Yeah! That’s me! You’ll be okay now, because I’m here!”
The boy smiled back, choking a giggle.
“I...I can’t..wai..t to tell..my .. m o…….”
The boy let out a weak breath before his head tilted towards Izuku, eyes closed.
Izuku was stone frozen when he heard that breath escape the boy. His ears rang and he could no longer feel anything. He couldn’t hear the sirens nor the helicopters. He couldn’t feel the hands on his shoulder and he couldn’t feel his friends pull him away. All he could feel was former warmth that was in his arms.
He rejected the cameras a few moments later.
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Izuku stayed silent after he finished explaining the situation to Toshinori, who had his hands folded in his lap at this point. They both stayed silent with their heads hung low, Izuku trembling and Toshinori being very stiff.
“All Might...I came to ask…” Izuku stifled a sob, looking up to Toshinori with an expression the man had never seen on the boy before.
“....what do I do…? What...kind of smile am I... supposed to make?” Izuku was holding back tears, he was holding back completely bawling out in front of his mentor and smiling. Nose runny, and brows furrowed upward, his smile was forced and lips were twitching.
“This is the first time I...couldn’t save someone, All Might. What am I supposed to do? What do you do when you can’t save someone...tell me..please.”
Izuku’s voice was desperate and pleading as his trembling became uncontrollable.
“Please All Might, tell me what to do. You’ve never lost anyone right? What do I do? I don’t have a single clue what to do, where to go, what to do next, I---”
He was cut off by Toshinori pulling him into a hug, very similar to the time he had hugged him when he was younger.
“It’s okay for heroes to cry, Midoriya.” he said, patting his back comfortingly, and with that, Izuku gripped onto Toshinori’s shirt and sobbed, letting out the cries he refused to allow himself to cry when he had the boy in his arms. Toshinori let the boy cry for several long minutes.
When Izuku was done, he had a ball of tissues in his hand. He was sniffling, but his cry was let out, much to Toshinori’s shirt’s dismay.
“It’s good that you didn’t talk to the media after that.” Toshinori says bluntly.
Izuku wiped his nose, looking up a bit confused at his hero.
“Huh?”
Toshinori got up, walking over the the box of letters which Izuku had looked at earlier. He brought it back and sat down next to his student.
“These letters? These are only but a few of the people I’ve lost.” he explained, setting the box down on the small table in front of them.
To Izuku’s surprise, he looked to the box then to his mentor. He had never heard of a case where All Might lost someone. The news had never---
Oh.
Izuku frowned, looking back down to the box, imagining what fans must have wrote those.
“When I lost my first little girl, I had no idea what to do.” Toshinori reached into the box to pull out a picture drawn in crayon. It was a picture of a small girl in a dress, being held by All Might and flying.
“She wanted to control her quirk and fly. She wanted to fly around the world.” He stared at the picture for a moment, before folding it back up.
“She was only 10 years old. She didn’t survive the overnight stay at the hospital”
Izuku gasped. It was hard to believe that the number one hero had...lost someone and failed to save them. However, it made sense that he had never heard about it.
“Being the symbol of peace, I couldn’t let any media know my failures. All the people needed to see was hope and a smile.” he sighed. “I went to her funeral, it was the first time I properly saw what the other side is like when it comes to casualties.”
He looked up to Izuku with a serious demeanor.
“I won’t sugarcoat this. You won’t always be able to save everyone like you saved that girl Eri. You’re going to lose more and more people. It’s the sad and dark side of being a hero we never talk about. It’s going to hurt, and will only get harder and harder as each battle comes.”
Izuku swallowed hard, “So...what do I do..?”
Toshinori reached to give Izuku a firm pat on his shoulder.
“You need to understand that it's okay to grieve and that you can cry. But as a hero, you can’t let it take over and completely stop you on your tracks. You won’t forget, and you won’t ever be healed from something like this. But what you can do is go to friends and get the support you need to continue forward. You can’t keep this inside and you can’t let it eat away at you.” Toshinori grinned. “I’m glad you came to me, my boy. It means you are looking for an answer on how to keep moving forward.”
Izuku sniffled staring at the man who had always been there for him and wiped away the tears that had escaped. He nodded, holding his head up to his hero and friend.
“You’re only human. Don’t ever forget that.”
“Right!” Izuku said, voice sounding uplifted.
Toshinori rubbed Izuku’s shoulder before getting up with the box.
“Now come. I’ll show you the next step to closure.”
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The construction around the area was enormous. Cranes in several streets, and signs blocking off traffic.
Izuku looked at the workers go about their job of trying to bring back the normal peace of the now destroyed area.
With his black suit, he stepped under the the construction tape and headed to the area where the tragic incident happened. Not much had been cleaned yet in that area, but it was at least safe to walk around now. He looked around, taking in a deep breath and accepting that he did what he could. In the end, he made a boy very happy in his last moments. And as hard as it is to swallow, Izuku smiled at the thought of how overjoyed the boy must have been. Taking a final glimpse, he turned back to head out of the area.
However, something green caught his eye in the corner. Hand still in his pockets, he walked over to get a closer look. He noticed a patch of green plush hair sticking out from a fallen wall. Crouching down, he reached to pull out the trapped item. To his surprise, it was a plush of himself. He was taken back a bit, what was a plush of himself doing there? When he examined it more, the plush was clearly dirty and worn out. On the tag was a name written. Izuku bit his lip as he read the tag. He hung his head and he gave out a small chuckle. Standing back up, he patted the dirt and dust off the plushie.
He smiled at it, holding it close to his side as he turned to go back home.