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It's always romantic when boys throw pebbles at your window in the dead of the night, something alluring about meeting at a time no one else knows. But that's usually something we see only in fiction, and in reality it doesn’t happen as such.
It happens at half past one when she hears her bedroom window shatter, followed by the loud thud a stone makes when it collides with the carpet, the glass chiming like distorted bells of impending doom. Rin startles awake from the blissful sleep she was deep in, straight up into a sitting position with panic seizing her in its tight grip. Her heart is pounding and the sound is like a drum in the silence of her room, lub-dub, lub-dub.
"Oh, shit." She hears from below, but before she can get out from under her heavy covers, her bedroom door bursts open with her father springing in and her mother following cautiously behind, waiting for a murderer to jump out of the shadows to stab them half to death. Half, because they are already half frightened to death.
Her father makes a beeline for the broken window, looking out and swearing under his breath. Something about stupid teenagers or bored assholes that need a life? Rin isn't sure, because she's too occupied with assuring her mother that yes, she's alright and no, she didn't see or hear anyone coming.
Okay, so maybe she lied just a bit, but it was for the best.
"So this random person decides to vandalise your house, in the middle of the night, for no apparent reason?" Miku deadpans, a very unimpressed look on her face. Rin nods passively, half-lidded eyes staring across the track where a group of boys were currently running laps. Her eyes were trained on them, watching as the wind tried to ruffle their hair that was matted to their foreheads.
"Except.."
"Except?" Miku prods, and Rin sighs deep and heavy, letting her head fall and closing her eyes. She is absolutely done.
"It was Len." she finishes, anticlimactic. Miku nods in understanding, still watching the sun beat down relentlessly on the boys from under the shaded bleachers. The two girls sit in a comfortable silence, one of them waiting for the inevitable question and the other itching not to ask it. Rin waits, she's patient.
"Why did he do it?" Ah, there it is.
"I don’t know, to be honest. Haven't had the chance to ask him about it, yet."
"Yet?"
"I was made to fork out the money for the repairs."
"Ah." The wind blows. "Does he know?"
"If he does, he's doing a good job of pretending he doesn't."
Miku hums in response, and the conversation stops there. The boys have now finished their seven laps and are now jogging towards the centre of the field to do some warm ups, most of them breathing heavily and bent over, gripping their knees to steady themselves. Rin zeroes in on the thin and blonde ponytail that bounces up and down with every movement that Len makes. She can't read his face, though, he has turned his back to her in a failed attempt to ignore her. But given the fact that he has positioned himself such that neither he nor her would be able to make eye contact, Rin thinks that he's given this more thought than he would like to admit. It's alright, she's patient, she can wait.
It sits on her desk innocently, all pink ribbons and heart-shaped body attracting a lot of stares. Rin freezes a few feet away from her table with half a mind to turn around and pretend that she had walked into the wrong room, and the other half to hurl the box out of the open window two tables across. Something as cheesy as that can only come from one person, and why did he have to do it like this?
Before she can decide however, Gumi comes into the picture and forces her hand.
"Rin!" Gumi calls, waving her over to her seat with the brightest smile Rin had seen all morning, "who gave this to you?"
The morning chatter quiets ever so slightly, most of her classmates now eavesdropping on their conversation. It unnerves Rin to see so many pairs of eyes directed only at her, but there isn't much of an option left than to act natural.
"Uh, uhh.." Rin fidgets, adjusting the straps of her backpack so they don't press onto her bra strap like magnets. The class holds its breath. "I don't know." she finishes lamely. She lied, again. Rin thinks for a split second that she should stop before it becomes a habit, but most things that involve a certain blue-eyed-blond-haired-boy usually turn into habits anyway.
Gumi chortles, and then picks it up and starts to unravel the present. Rin quickly closes the gap between them just as the cover of the box is lifted. Inside the box, there is a selection of rather expensive looking chocolates, ranging in shapes and colours.
"Woah," they say in unison. While Gumi gets distracted with the small card describing each chocolate flavour in small print, Rin hesitantly plucks out a neatly folded thick piece of paper. It's smooth, the type of paper that one would use for a wedding invitation, but the small size of it makes it almost weightless in her palms. She opens it carefully, willing herself not to crumple it. She may keep it, it's too nice to be discarded. Printed in a neat, cursive font that takes up the only the centre portion, it reads:
Leave your message here
Rin closes it and carelessly tosses it into her bag. She knows of only one person that could have such a re-miss attitude towards things he had "meticulously" planned (something with first dates and reservations made at the wrong restaurants) and although it amuses her it also pains her that this failed attempt will yield yet another. She drags out her chair, the exposed and rusted metal legs screeching in pain as it is dragged forcefully across the concrete floor, and ungracefully slumps onto it. Next to her, Gumi has already started eating the chocolates.
[Len, 22:23] shit
[Len, 22:23] i forgot to put the msg didnt i
[Rin, 22:31] Yes
[Len, 22:33] okay
[Len, 22:34] it's ok
[Len, 22:34] failure is the mother of success anw
The last bell of the day chimes, and in the empty space of the corridors it echoes on and on, each time getting softer until it dies in the chirps of the birds loitering on the branches near the closed windows. The orange hue of the sky seeps in and casts longer shadows in the corners. It should feel scary not to know what lurks in the darkness, but Rin feels that it makes the place just a little bit more cozy, a bit more like home.
There is a spring in each of her step that only she feels, and even though there is no drift, she feels her hair sway like in those commercials. She relishes the feeling of the ends of her hair brushing against the nape of her neck, of humming her favourite tune without being watched, of being alone in such a big space.
The contents in her bag rattle when she comes to an abrupt stop at her locker. Like clockwork, she begins to step out of the white flats and open her locker (slightly above eye level) when a piece of paper falls out unceremoniously. Curious, she squats down and takes a better look at it.
The uniformed blue lines and slightly rough texture look familiar, but that is not what strikes her. It is the little symbols scribbled onto it, like a tattoo. It's encrypted, its meaning lost to many but the few in the know. There are stars and curls that seem out of place next to each other, only that Rin knows they're not. A little smile plays at her lips as a memory comes to mind. Len and her are in primary school, with stubby fingers and the racumbous energy possessed only during childhood. She thinks he was the one who came up with the idea, and she joined in only because it was exclusive to them, and at their age being exclusive meant being cool.
The sunshine symbol- a circle with lines drawn protruding outwards- stands for 'P', and E is represented by a cloud. And the rest..
Rin rubs her chin in thought, trying to make out the rest of the message. If she remembers correctly, the tiny pastel green notebook should still be in one of the manila boxes in her cupboard. She'll have to check later.
"So, you lost it?"
Miku and Rin are back at the bleachers, staring out at the gray clouds gathering over the track. The wind is more harsh today; it forces Rin to tie her hair and Miku to tie French Braid, just so one of her twintail wouldn't accidentally slap Rin on her left cheek. Rin nods her head blearily, not really there. There are dark half moons under her eyes that Miku noticed almost immediately that morning.
"Does he know it?"
Rin shakes her head, wordlessly picking up her opened plastic water bottle and sipping at it slowly. She is still watching the group of boys and girls stretching on the field, the former doing jumping jacks and the latter doing push-ups. Rin wonders briefly if they feel cold wearing such thin material shorts. Miku leans bak on her elbows and tilts her head back, closing her eyes and letting all the sounds and smell sink in.
"I haven't replied him since that day, though. I think he must know by now." Rin supplies after a long pause, closing her bottle and rolling it on her lap. Miku makes a vague noise of encouragement without parting her lips, and Rin continues. "I think I should let him know. He's been giving me that puppy-eyed look whenever he sees me around."
"The one with the pout?"
"The one with the pout."
More silence, and then a breeze cuts through them like a hot knife through butter. The group of boys and girls are done stretching, now headed towards the piles of bags thrown messily at the side of the tracks for a waterbreak. Some girls are rubbing their forearms while some boys jump up and down, blowing out a hot puff of breath onto their palms. Rin thinks that her question was just answered.
"Wonder what he wants." Rin comments. Miku chuckles, opening her eyes with a knowing look and a playful smile directed at Rin.
"Yeah, I wonder what he wants too."
It's a sweltering afternoon, but the recent bipolar weather has forced people yearning for a day out into settling for whatever they can get. Rin sits, cross-legged, on the plain blue picnic mat under a particularly shady patch of grass overlooking the park. With the flowers starting to come into full bloom nestled safely in the trees overhead and the bright green grass next to her, it would feel like a picture out of a textbook or a stockimage on the internet. The only thing that ruins the mood is the wave of heat; there is already a layer of sweat gathering above Rin's lips.
Indignantly, she wipes it off with the back of her forefinger. Where is Len? She had been waiting for him for almost a full half an hour already, and even the icebox won't keep the ice from melting anymore.
"Boo."
Rin jumps in her place, heart beating faster and eyes slightly wider. She turns around to find a very smug looking Len squatting down quite ungracefully, with his elbows resting on his knees far apart from each other. She narrows her eyes.
"Len! Don't scare me like that."
Len shrugs it off with a low whistle before settling in next to her and reaching behind him. Rin's befuddlement turns into a pleasant surprise when Len pulls a very big red cardboard box onto his lap and producing a bouquet of roses. She wonders how she didn't see it before.
As if reading her thoughts, he says airily, "I distracted you momentarily with my good looks, of course."
Rin laughs heartily and playfully slaps his shoulder, because wow, she thinks, he can be so thick skinned sometimes.
But when she takes the bouquet and feel each petal bend under the light pressure of her finger ghosting their edges and how soft they are, she realises that they were freshly bought. It's both touching and intimidating how thoughtful he can be, and she suddenly feels a wave of guilt wash over her at the thought that she hasn't been doing very much of that for him. But before she can comment on it, Len carefully puts the big box down just in front of them and turns to her with the widest smile on his face. That's the one he has when he's excited to see her reaction. Rin raises a brow.
"Open it." He urges, nodding his chin towards it. At this, Rin slowly moves towards the box and unfolds the little lock made by intertwining the protruding cardboard at the surface. She takes a glance at Len, who nods enthusiastically again. If he had a tail, he would look like a dog that saw its owner after a week of separation.
Rin tucks a lock of her hair safely behind her ear before peeking inside.
"The icing.. melted?" Miku's voice, only slightly muffled, rings in the quiet of Rin's room. Her voice is shrill at the end, unbelieving but also amused at the incredulity of Len's streak of bad luck. Rin pulls away from her phone, wincing slightly. She shouldn't have put it at the full volume. Belatedly, she presses the tiny circle at the side of her phone until tiny squares in a row disappear from right to left, as if gaining speed as they do. When she places her phone back to her ear, she hears Miku's uncontrolled laughter and sighs helplessly.
"Yes, the icing melted." She repeats, letting her head fall in shame for him.
"What did he do for it to melt like that?
"Apparently, he bought the cupcakes and then went to buy the flowers and snacks. It took a grand total of an hour and a half."
"Amazing. You ate it, anyway, right?"
"Yeah, it was a sad affair."
There is a soft sound like something falling onto a pillow- probably Miku throwing her face onto it- and then some incoherent mumbling and giggling. Rin sighs again.
"You know, I really wonder what he wants to tell me." Tick. Rin pauses, waiting to see if she imagined that sound. A moment, nothing happens. She shrugs and continues. "He's been going about it in a really roundabout way."
"Geez, Rin. You must be really thick not to have figured it out by now."
"Figure what out?"
Tick. Rin jerks away from the phone and whips her head around, eyes scanning the room for anything that could make such an irritatingly sharp tick. After a minute of trying, she settles back into her bed, peeved and confused.
“The chocolates, the lunch and study dates..”
"What about it?" She asks, one arm across her torso and legs crossed, staring out at the still trees outside her window. She likes to imagine that they're there to guard her from the crazies that come out at night and rule the streets, it's a comforting thought.
Rin is about to sink down into her covers when she sees something fly towards the window, and then it disappears in the darkness with that uneven 'Tick'. Damn it, who could be throwing pebbles at her window at this hour of the night?
"Shit." Rin spits.
"What?" Miku questions, worried. Rin ignores Miku's prying questions, focused on marching across her room to the window and finding out which asshole is scratching at the new windowpanes she had so painfully (Haha, what a pun) paid for.
She opens the window with a huff, and the last 'Tick' comes from the pebble colliding with her forehead.
"Shit!" She curses, hands flying to her forehead while the small stone rolls across the floor, her phone flopping down with it.
"Shit."
She wants to yell at the guy, scream at him all the words and languages that no respectable lady would dream of using, but then she realises that she recognises that voice. Her eyes widen as she leans over the ledge, searching for a patch of blonde hair. True enough, Len stands in the middle of the grass with a sheepish grin on his face.
"Hi?" He tries, shoulders squaring. He looks like a tortoise retreating back into his shell. Rin thinks it's cute, but then remembers that she should be angry at him, and she's going to make sure he gets it.
"I'm angry at you." She says simply, a frown starting to form on her face. Her hands are still rubbing at the sore spot on her face. Len merely scratches his chin, but wears a careful grin on his face, shrinking into himself. Rin huffs indignantly, “But at least you didn’t break my window this time.”
“What?” Len pales.
“What?”
“You know it was me?”
Rin shoots him an incredulous look. “Of course I know, you idiot! Who else would pop by my place at such an ungodly hour and throw freaking stones at my window?”
“Um, a lot of people?”
“No, Len,” Rin sighs, exasperated, “just you.”
Len bites his lower lip in embarrassment. “Okay, just me.” He admits.
“So, what’s up?” Rin asks. As the drift from outside enters her room, Rin wants nothing more than to shut the window close and hop back into her bed and snuggle under the warmth of her covers. Looking at the thin sweater Len is wearing, she can’t help but feel a pinch of sympathy for the boy. But if he feels cold, then he is doing a good job of not showing it.
Len shuffles uneasily, his posture stiffening and brows furrowing together. For a long moment, he opens his mouth, as if ready to speak of something important. Although Rin could make a guess what he was going to say, she feels anticipation and excitement build within her. The blood pulsing within her feels stronger, her body starting to feel warmer in spite of the cool weather, unconsciously holding her breath..
“I honestly forgot what I prepared to say tonight.” Len deadpans. Rin groans, long and rising in volume. She throws her head back and clenches her fist together, because damn it Len, why do you always do this?
Sensing her annoyance tipping over into being borderline homicidal, Len stretches his arms towards her and shakes his hands quickly. “Wait, I wasn’t done!” He yells, then winces at how loud he was.
“I wasn’t done.” he continues, clearing his throat. “Although I may have forgotten what I wanted to tell you tonight, but I have never once forgotten the first time I met you when we were in kindergarten. I remember seeing this fat girl-”
“Hey! My BMI was in the acceptable range!” Rin protests.
“-fat but cute girl eating some kind of gummy sweet. And I remember that I wasn’t a fan of sweets but then you looked at me and offered it to me with such big and blue eyes, and with such a hopeful expression, and I ended up sucking that lollipop even if I really didn’t want to. And maybe that is a metaphor for how you made my life sweeter just by being in it, and I really can’t imagine my life without you in it now.”
Len inhaled deeply, clenched his fists and looked up again at Rin.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I want to be there with you through your future struggles, triumphs and everything in between, and I hope you feel the same way. So, Kagamine Rin, will you be my girlfriend?”
At that moment, Rin knew that Len was letting her see into his soul and giving her to power to hurt him, but believing that she would keep him safe. Her breath hitched and everything else faded away.
At that moment, they were back being the little children they were a decade ago. Except where Rin was offering Len food, she would now be the one accepting his offer.
“Yes, yes I would love to.” She whispered.
And at that moment, Rin found that the smile that grew wider and brighter on Len’s face was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. It cracked the guarded mask he wore bit by bit, like trying to carve intricate details onto marble, and finally it unraveled itself into something with all the little details that one could only notice after careful observation.
Rin found herself mirroring his smile, and she laughed heartily.
“But please just use the front door next time.”