Work Text:
Chapter One:
Entry One
It all happened that one night, that one disgusting night that I wish I never even bothered to go to that stupid party. Part of me wished that I had stayed home that night. And then maybe things would be different now. Maybe I wouldn't be laying here wondering what I did wrong, how I could have made it all better.
Why couldn't you just tell me how? Or what I did. I felt like I failed you, I failed all of you. I'm so sorry I did this too you. I want to say these words to your face, but I could only remember seeing your eyes so full of tears as you cursed me out and told me to leave. And so I did. I left, I left when I should have stayed.
And that's when it all began, that's when this happened. They say that writing down my feelings will get me to open up, to get me to talk about how I am doing.. but why can't they see that I don't want to be talked to? I just want to be left alone in my grief.
I'm so sorry I did this too you, I should have held you in my arms and told you I loved you then, I should have said something and then maybe you would still be here right now, smiling with those big brown eyes that I remembered getting lost into every day.
There's so many things I wish I could say.. so many things I wish I could do, so many things I wish I could take back.
I hope that one day.. that one day we will end up together again and I could say those things, but for now all I can say is..
I'm sorry Hannah.