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Language:
English
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Published:
2017-05-17
Words:
352
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
3
Kudos:
22
Bookmarks:
1
Hits:
408

G'day, 'Mite!

Summary:

Breakfast in the West household, now with guests.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

The family huddled around the dining table together for breakfast, as they had done everyday for the past 20 odd years. This time, they were about to be joined by two very special guests.

“Is he online?” Zoe asked.

“Yeah, he says him and his friend’ll be on in a sec.” Lily replied, piping up.

“He’d better get that package I sent him.” Jack rumbled “You won’t believe how much postage I paid on it.”

“$5?” Lily asked.

Jack shook his head. “Still cold.”

“$10?”

“Warmer”

“$13?”

“$14.70, actually.”

“That’s grub!” Lily and Zoe exclaimed in unison.

“I see our accent has finally done one on you lot.”

 

V

 

It took the better part of twenty minutes to get a reliable connection, but they were finally able to see their new friends, face-to-face, half a world away.

“All you boys and girls got your vegemite and toast?” Jack asked.

Lily nodded emphatically, still very much a child at heart. Zoe responded “Aye aye, Cap’n Jack.”

“This can’t be any worse than an MRE…” Shane muttered.

“Quit your moaning, you’re the goddamn Scarecrow!” Mother slapped him on his shoulder blade. Hard. His yelp came much to the Australians’ amusement.

“Alright.” Jack announced. “On the count of three, everyone’s going to bite into their toast, chew it thoroughly , and swallow.”

Everyone looked on tensely as he began the countdown.

1...2...0...9...8...7…”

“Come ON, dad!” Lily urged.

-4...3 !”

Everyone bit down into their vegemite on toast. Zoe and Lily liked theirs with plenty of butter on top, and appreciated the rich blend of flavors. Jack, who’d coated his toast in an entire half inch of vegemite, chomped into his “like a boss”, he quoted. Mother chewed on hers with equal gusto.

“Fork me, I’ll have to start importing these and hope they don’t get classified as WMDs. How you doin, big hero?”

It only took Shane one tentative bite and several seconds of chewing before he gagged and regurgitated the offending black toast.

That was worse than an MRE. Be right back, I need the washroom and a Coke.”

 

Notes:

Vegemite ratings from everyone (out of 10):
Lily: 9.99999999/10 (-0.1 for it not being fairy bread)
Zoe: 7/10 (8 with a good strong coffee)
Jack: 10/10 would take a jar to bed with.
Mother: 1000/10 (the best thing since, well, sliced bread)
Shane: Would rather get choked by Jack again then by food/10