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The transition from Midorijima to Germany was easier than I had anticipated. It was soothing, after weeks spent in constant dread of my looming future. Although I presented mostly my joy at the idea of going to Noiz-san’s homeland, anxiety sat in my stomach and rocked my confidence. I knew enough about the country (and had indulged many late night, lamp side hours studying up on it) that I was not going in undereducated; but if there was anything I had learned from living under the veil of human day to day life, it was that one never really knew what something was like from looking or hearing about it second hand. You really had to experience it.
So the prospect of new people, different cultures, a different ambiance... it had me wary. I did my best to conceal it from Noiz-san, and if he noticed, he didn’t let on. Noiz-san was his usual calm, collected self. He moved through the preparations for moving with an ease I couldn’t seem to grasp. I suppose, for him, it was different. He was going home.
Home... Noiz-san’s home. My home, too, I reminded myself, although it didn’t quite yet feel like that. I clung to the belief that any place where Noiz-san was would eventually fit itself into the mold of ‘home’, and I, like a shadow or a jacket, would eventually blend into fitting as well. These thoughts piled up and created little mountains in the back of my mind, ones I could never climb before falling down and having to start from the bottom. They were tiring in their repetitiveness.
On the day before we left for Europe, I made my rounds of Midorijima and said farewell to all of my friends. Aoba-san and Ren-san wished me happy and safe travels, and Aoba-san jokingly warned Noiz-san about what would happen if he did not take care of me. Though there was a seriousness to his eyes that made me question the legitimacy of the threat, all he got in return was a scoff and a half annoyed ‘of course’. As if it was ridiculous to even suggest Noiz-san wouldn’t be on his best behavior. I thanked Aoba-san for his concern, but assured him that I would be alright, and I’d make sure Noiz-san behaved, too.
Well, Ren-san and I exchanged lofty farewells and I hugged them both tightly, promising through teary eyes that I’d write and call as often as possible. Saying goodbye to Koujaku-san and Mizuki-san, admittedly, was an easier and faster affair. The goodbyes exchanged between Noiz-san and Koujaku-san were curt and brief, although Mizuki made me promise, if I ever decided on a tattoo, I’d come to him.
Mink-san, as expected, was nowhere to be found. Just to be safe, I left a soap carving of a bird on the Scratch doorstep.
“He won’t care for that,” Noiz-san said dryly, looking the bird over with obvious disdain at the gesture. I glanced between him and the present.
“I don’t think you know him well enough to make that call, Noiz-san.”
“No,” he responded, in an almost scolding tone. “But neither do you.”
We exchanged glances and left the hideout behind without another word exchanged between us.
The plane took off at 07:30, so Noiz and I had to be up and ready to leave by 06:15. The previous night, despite my attempts to stop him, he had raided the wine and spirits Mizuki had gifted us for departure. A questionable gift, I’d thought, but I suppose it was something of a joke. It was intended for me, not for Noiz, but stopping Noiz from breaking into something that he wanted was near impossible. He laughed like a hyena and nursed a bottle of Zinfandel, holding it close to his person in a brown paper bag. Although I was mostly concerned and exasperated, it was hard not to be amused. The pink that painted his cheeks and that rare laugh spilling out of his lips was a beautiful sight.
Excuse my digression, but the point I was trying to make is that my teenage sweetheart was grumpy and hung over as we got to the airport. I had never been inside one before, so the experience had a certain novelty to it for me. Despite Noiz’s snappy reactions to the bright overhead lights and the noisy crowds of people, I was enraptured by all of it. There were so many people, from so many places! The air was thick with different accents, different languages poured through my ears too fast to translate accurately. It was like listening in on bits and pieces of private conversations, and I felt like an outsider entering some exclusive club. The size and grandeur of the Platinum Jail architecture was a little overwhelming, and Noiz complained when I reached out to hang onto his arm or hold his hand like a frightened child.
This was nothing new for Noiz. He did not seem to share the same vapors as I, and had limited patience with the close proximity of the crowds. Handsome and confident, seemingly able to ignore his surroundings and push easily through the masses, Noiz drew more than a few curious pairs of eyes. Under the scrutiny of prying gazes, I felt a soft panic gnaw at my stomach. It was easier for Noiz, who carried himself with proud squared shoulders, and an air of indifference to any and all onlookers. Noiz’s familiarity to a life under a spotlight was something I was going to have to get used to, and I wasn’t looking forward to it.
Noiz was wearing the gray suit he’d returned in once more. Although I knew better than to ask, I got the feeling it held some sort of significance to him. In later months, when I finally struck up the nerve to inquire, he’d told me it had been a gift from his father.
Despite the fact that I could never forgive Noiz’s parents for their oppressive treatment of him all those years, I had to wonder if they really were bad people. Maybe just confused, scared people. Were there really ‘bad’ and ‘good’ people, though? Looking at Noiz, and at myself, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t think that there was. There was no such thing as an inherently evil person- just people who were products of their environment and how stained it may have left their hearts.
After about a half an hour of pushing through crowds, handling luggage, and stopping at various counters, Noiz pulled me aside.
“What’s wrong, Noiz-san?” I looked at him in concern. By now, he was looking less hung over. His face was less contorted in pain, and he was no longer squinting.
“We’re going to have to go through a metal detector to get on the plane.”
A feeling of dread welled up in me.
“A- A metal detector? But why!?”
“Safety. They do it to make sure no one is carrying on any concealed weapons, or have bombs strapped to their chests and shit.” Noiz shrugged his shoulders, his voice low enough that only I could hear. “That’s why allmates have to be turned off and sent through a separate line.”
Swallowing, I glanced towards the little portals people were walking through. People were being stripped of their bags and jackets, which the men in uniform were searching through. How could that be allowed? It seemed like such an invasion of privacy!
“Calm.” Noiz’s low voice reached me through my stress, and I looked back at him. He straightened the scarf around my neck, the back of his knuckle brushing against my cheek.
“I talked to the airline ahead of time. Slipping them a little pocket change worked fine.” A little pocket change? You were about to inquire further, but he cut me off quickly. “You’re going to go through the detector, and it’ll go off. Take this off, and they’ll accuse you and let you go through. No one will suspect a thing.”
Noiz pushed something into my hand. I looked down at it curiously- it was a small metal ring, just big enough to slip easily on and off of my ring finger. It was enough particularly spectacular, but there was a small engraving on the inside. With closer inspection, I realized it was a small, long eared rabbit.
Just the cuteness of the symbol alone was enough to raise the corner of my lips.
“Noiz-san, don’t you think this is a little sudden? Normally you present the ring at a more romantic place.”
“Shut up,” he hissed at me almost immediately, forcing the ring onto my finger as I laughed at him quietly. He had a pink tinge left on his ears.
Going through the metal detectors was the most scary part of the entire day. Although my body shook lightly, I managed to make it through without breaking down. It went just as Noiz said it would- the man took my ring and nodded as if the problem had been solved, then pointed me forward. I bit my lip to hold back a smile, grabbed my bags and hurried ahead. The ring was tucked safely in my pocket.
“Sir-“
I jumped at the sound of the man behind me, and turned around to look. To my relief- and surprise- it was Noiz who the man had stopped. Noiz stood looking untroubled, his hands tucked in his jacket.
What could they have caught him on? He’d taken off his coil, all his allmates, his facial piercings-
Oh.
My face felt hot as I watched the smug expression cross over his face. Please, God. I prayed silently in my head. Let this be the one time Noiz decides not to take out his penis in front of me.
In the end, Noiz didn’t take out his penis, and we got out of there without causing a scene. We boarded the flight soon after. The seats where we sat were apparently ‘first class’, and the seats in the isle were much more roomy than the ones we had passed on the way up to the front. They were not very comfortable, but Noiz ignored my complaints and said it was just how airplane seats were. They had a big television set up for us, though, and after some bickering Noiz finally caved and agreed to watch Air Bud instead of The Shining.
When we took off, though, my interest quickly shifted from the movie. The view outside was amazing. The ground lifted up from under us slowly, and then Midorijima became just a tiny speck of green beneath us. The blue swallowed the tiny Island that I had called home all of my life. And soon, the clouds swallowed up the plane.
“Wooooah…it’s amazing!” I breathed softly. The glass was cold when I pressed my cheek up against it, and my breath left little spots of condensation. Which was almost more fun than watching the clouds outside. I pressed my fingers against the spot, and drew a small jellyfish on the glass.
“Look, Noiz-san! Your breath makes little clouds, and you can draw in them!”
Noiz looked over with a bored expression, and I showed him my jellyfish proudly. Leaning over me to breathe out on the glass, he drew something right next to mine. I looked closely, and it was.. a little bunny? A little rabbit, riding on a…uh….
“Noiz-san…is that a penis?”
A look of genuine offense crossed over his face.
“It’s a carrot.”
I looked back at it again. Tilting my head, squinting, maybe…
“Oh….I guess I can see that.”
Noiz sighed loudly.
The flight lasted long into the night. I spent most of the time asking Noiz about his home country. He answered them willingly enough, although it took some probing to get everything that I wanted to know. Noiz told me all about the house in which he grew up. His memory of it was vague, and most of the details revolved around the room in which he had been imprisoned. He told me of the people, the culture- all the people with light hair and fair skin like him, and those with skin even darker than Mizuki’s, and hair, curly and braided like Mink’s. People of a diversity I’d never seen for myself. He told me about Christmas, and the Christmas tree- about the Easter bunny, and New Year’s Eve in January. He told me about white crystals that fell from the sky and blanketed the earth. Noiz said that was his favorite time of year. He called it ‘snow’.
“Stop asking me questions like a bratty child,” he rumbled after a while, sinking deeper into his seat. “You’ll get to see all of this for yourself. You don’t need to shove this all down your throat right now.”
“But..” I began to protest, but Noiz raised his hand to cover my lips.
“Ssh.” He hushed me, and for the first time I saw the tiredness in his green eyes. “Sleep. You’ll be tired when we land. I don’t need you jetlagged.”
Although I didn’t feel all that tired, I obediently closed my mouth and reached to pull down a pillow and blankets from the overhead cabin. Noiz settled into his seat, looking uncomfortable. Probably because he couldn’t curl into a ball like he usually did when he slept. When I leaned against the arm rest, he eventually came to rest his head against my chest.
While I dragged my fingers through his hair, Noiz soon drifted into a light sleep. For some time, I watched the clouds drift outside the plane window. White and silver fluffs, against a dark blue backdrop.
“In the morning, I’ll be in Noiz’s home.” I whispered to myself.
Looking down at the soft features of his face as he slept, I wonder if he dreamt. Did he have sweet dreams? Every so often, his eyelids would flicker. His thin eyebrows would taper and bridge, or his lips would slightly part. It was times like this when it hit me really hard. The welling of emotion in my chest, that filled me with warmth and restricted the flow of air to my lungs.
Noiz was mine. Just mine, like I was just his. I loved him very much.
And it was with that thought repeating over in my head that I dozed into slumber.