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Sharp grey eyes lazily followed the lingering form around the training grounds. The man in front of him flipping and leaping so fast he was no more than a shadow of where he had been to the naked eye. Kakashi watched it fascination. The tanned skin visible for only a second before it weaved away again and he was left searching frantically for him.
Tenzo…
He thought wistfully. Even in his mind his words were full of regret. As the one he still loved so dearly, danced around showing off his taijutsu to the expectant eyes of his students.
It had been about 2 years now since their relationship had ended. In a huff Kakashi had stated he never wanted to see the other man again. Tenzo understood, his betrayal had hurt his long-time partner more than he could know.
Although Kakashi had understood deep down the loneliness of the ANBU and the urge to cleanse yourself of battle with someone else’s tongue he had never let the thought cross his mind. He had certainly never envisioned his ever loyal Kohai indulging in such actions.
When he had found out he was shocked, not believing what he had been told. It wasn’t until he had confronted the man before him now that he had accepted it as the truth. Averted eyes and crimson cheeks had told him everything he needed to know before the other man had spoken.
Leave
He had said simply. His mind failing to comprehend what had happened. The truth.
It was only days later, after several botched attempts of being contacted by Tenzo that he had finally let the other man back in. Sat down and listened while he explained himself. The hurt more than he thought he could bare in one sitting.
He really had nothing to live for anymore he had decided after that day. His Father had abandoned him. His friends were dead. His Sensei had perished protecting the Village and now Tenzo had betrayed him.
Guy
Kakashi had thought to himself briefly. Guy was a reason to live. But he was busy in the moment with his new students. He had little time to keep a monster like himself company.
After Tenzo had left he had set forth planning his own demise. He was not ANBU anymore. There was no chance he would die honourably in battle by accident. Not on the B ranks he had been taking. It would have been too suspicious.
Instead he planned to do things the dishonourable way. He was going to follow in his Father’s footsteps and die like the trash he knew he was.
If not for that summon calling him to the Hokage’s office he would have died that night.
Hiruzen had explained to him that he was an essential pawn in Konohagakure’s future. That he must live to teach his future students.
He had considered this in the moment. Knowing full well he would have to put his plans on hold. He could not die with a clear conscience knowing how detrimental it would be to the Village.
So he had held off. Met his new students and put them through the bell test. They had passed and in a way he found that they had lightened his heart and helped him heal.
Although through all this time he had not forgotten his love for Tenzo.
The man in front of him now, his mouth moving as he spoke, asking him questions he was not listening to.
It had hurt to see him that day in the hospital. Tsunade had no knowledge of their previous relationship. How could she? She had simply called upon the best person for the job. Her right hand man as it were. If she had of known, she would not have subjected him to the torture he was facing right now.
“Senpai?” Tenzo asked respectfully, pulling Kakashi from his thoughts with a questioning gaze. “Is that correct?” He asked, his eyes flicking between the Copy Ninja and his students.
“Yes.” Kakashi answered softly, their eye’s connecting briefly before the brunette turned away.
Perhaps if things had been different, this could have been the highlight of his year. But alas things were destined to go wrong for Kakashi Hatake.
If I could change the past…
Kakashi thought longingly, his back resting lightly against the trunk of a solid tree that reminded him of his lost love.
I would have never asked you to leave.