Chapter Text
♥
Age: Nineteen Year Old.
“Hyung!” Jungkook happily called out as he made his way towards Yoongi, who was busy chewing on his first meal of the day. “Hyung!” Jungkook called out again, his voice shaking due to the speed he adopted as he dodged and skipped over many different tables, before slamming his open palms against the Yoongi’s chosen lunch table. Yoongi sighed loudly, lowering his chopsticks down onto the small lunchbox before tilting his head up, eyeing the raven haired boy with a bored expression on his face.
An overexcited Jeon Jungkook wasn’t rare.
“What?” Yoongi deadpanned.
“You don’t seem excited to see me, Hyung,” Jungkook breathed as his bottom lips slowly stuck out in an attempt to create an innocent looking pout. To Jungkook’s credit, he succeeds, Yoongi was just used to it and kind of expected it, by now.
“I am not,” Yoongi answered truthfully before allowing a smile to take over his thin lips. “Even worse, when you are as excited as this. I am surprise no one tripped and fumbled because of you.”
“I am very careful,” Jungkook defended himself as if he was accused of murder. Yoongi chuckle softly before shaking his head, dropping his eyes back down to his meal, before flinching once he heard the chair beside him move with a loud shriek as the legs dragged against the tile floor. “Hyung…” Jungkook called out again, this time lighter, with a bit less excitement, but more yearn. Yoongi arched an eyebrow. “I’ve brought someone for you to meet.”
“I am not interested in you hooking me up with anyone,” Yoongi answered, his tone stern and leaving no room for argument. Jungkook’s eyes widen slightly at the tone before puckering his lips even more in thought, eyeing the direction he came from before nodding his head a couple of times.
“I understand,” Jungkook admitted before turning his head back to his Hyung with a bright smile, his bunny teeth on display as he edged the chair closer to the blonde haired boy. “I am not trying to hook you up…” Jungkook started before clearing his throat, eyeing Yoongi nervously as he watched the elder pick up his chopsticks once more. Yoongi was loosening up. “He is actually a good friend of mine. Same major. Same classes. His name is Jimin.”
“And why is this…” Yoongi raised his head up, cheek filled with rice, as he blinked sluggishly to his best friend. Jungkook smile grew. Yoongi could be so cute, when he wasn’t aware, it was almost heartbreaking. “Jimin… character important to me?”
“He is not, but he is to me,” Jungkook explained as he leaned against the table, resting his chin on his open palm as his eyes flickered between Yoongi and the direction he came from. Yoongi’s eyes slowly started to shift off the raven haired boy and onto the direction Jungkook kept staring at, his heart pounding slightly, cautiously. “Besides, Hyung, you haven’t really been trying to talk to people. That’s unlike you.” Yoongi’s paused his action, before flickering his eyes back onto the clean table. “Jimin just moved into our dorm section this past week… maybe you could befriend him. Maybe he can get you back to the groove of things.”
“Maybe,” Yoongi agreed half-heartedly.
“He is a good guy, Hyung,” Jungkook pressed down.
“Okay,” Yoongi nodded his head, bringing his attention back to his meal.
“I am serious,” Jungkook egged on for good measure.
“I am serious too,” Yoongi responded back easily, a piece of pork hanging off his chopsticks as he turned to look at Jungkook with a tired expression. Yoongi really adored Jungkook. Jungkook was young and youthful with a lot of respect and love for his Hyung, but the boy was also a bit of a smart Alec with naughty intentions and Yoongi had a feeling this new friend of his, Jimin, took a part in Jungkook’s grand plan of exhausting the elder.
“Good, because he's here,” Jungkook replied before perking up at the sight of a chubby face yet oddly fit boy with vibrant pink healthy hair. Yoongi’s eyes widen. He was cute with his pretty eye-smile and plump lips, his small fingers twitching slightly around his coffee cup as he bounced from one foot to the other, his body leaning toward the direction of the younger, as if he knew Jungkook will take him in even if Yoongi rejected his presence. “Jimin… this is my Hyung, Yoongi. Yoongi… this is my dance Hyung, Jimin Park.”
“Hello,” Jimin bowed, snapping his body in half, almost banging his forehead against the clean table as he tried to pay some respect to his elder. Jungkook laughed nervously as he peeked over at the blonde haired boy, looking for some kind of positive response, before licking his lips, once he spotted Yoongi stare blankly at Jimin. “I’ve heard so much about you, Hyung,” Jimin said once he stood up straight, his fingers intertwining with each other tightly, a light blush appearing on his chubby cheek as if he was embarrassed.
“And I’ve…”
And that’s when Yoongi noticed for the first time.
“It’s quiet…” Yoongi stated, rearranging his previous half statement, before flickering his eyes around the large campus cafeteria quickly as if he was looking for someone, or some people, four to be exact.
“It’s not,” Jungkook corrected, eyebrows furrowing slightly before looking at Jimin in confusion, a slight look of concern pealing into his eyes. Jimin shrugged helplessly before looking around the cafeteria as well, skimming for whatever Yoongi was looking for, despite his lack of knowledge. “Hyung, I don’t want to call you crazy…” Yoongi snapped his eyes onto Jungkook’s. “But you are crazy…” Yoongi swallowed thickly, peeking over at the pink haired boy silently before hissing quietly once he spotted Jimin stare down at him with a look of concern, maybe pity. “It is lunch hour… everyone and their goddamn mother is here. It is not quiet.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Yoongi tried to explain before dropping his chopsticks onto the lunchbox once again, his fingers threading through his lock as his eyes didn’t stop shifting. Yoongi looked like he was close to having a meltdown. Jungkook was nervous. Yoongi felt like he was close to have a meltdown. Jimin was even more nervous. “Look…” Yoongi sighed loudly, lifting his head up to meet Jimin’s beautiful brown eyes that oddly glimmer under the horrible lightening of the cafeteria. “I have to go. I am so-“
“You’re leaving?!” Jungkook cried out loudly. “Hyung, you didn’t even finish your meal.”
“I am not hungry,” Yoongi tried to reason.
“You’re a goddamn liar,” Jungkook argued back, shoving the lunchbox closer to the blonde haired boy, before extending his hand out in an attempt to grab Jimin’s wrist. Once the boy’s wrist was in hand, Jungkook tugged Jimin down to a seat beside him. Jimin didn’t fight much, it almost looks like he wanted to sit with the pair, despite Yoongi’s mini breakdown and weird comment. Really weird comment.
“Jungkook, I really want to go…” Yoongi tried again, pushing the lunchbox to the younger boy in an attempt to persuade the raven haired boy to allow Yoongi to slip away. Jungkook was usually easily swayed, but Jimin’s presence seemed to hinder the boy greatly.
“Give me a good reason, Hyung,” Jungkook challenged.
♥
Age: Eight Year Old
It was around winter time when the Min family got an offer they couldn’t refuse. It wasn’t like Yoongi had much of a say or an understanding of what was the offer, but he never once protested and obediently followed his parents to Los Angeles, California. Yoongi didn’t have many friends in Daegu, so it wasn’t a big jump and it wasn’t as traumatic as his mother made it sound. If anything, his mother seemed more upset about it, seeing as she gave up her dream job as a television personality in favor of her husband’s new promotion and relocation.
The area was beautiful, nothing like Korea, but it was still jaw dropping and worth bragging about to anyone who would listen. Despite the area being beautiful, the neighborhood had many lethal flaws. The main reoccurring flaw was that America, or at least Los Angeles, was fucking racist. And maybe at the time, Yoongi had no idea what racism actually meant and maybe he was being a bit too lofty with his declaration, but America really made Yoongi hate being Asian. The neighborhood was predominantly Whites with the exception of a few Hispanics, who lingered around the area. Long story short: Yoongi wasn’t all too liked in the area. In addition the consisted “eat cat” joke was becoming a trend, despite the lack of knowledge an eight year old might have.
A child learns from their parent’s after all.
Now the education a parent gave a child was something Yoongi never really grasped, seeing as his father was always busy and always moving, sending Yoongi a tired smile every so often, but Yoongi had some knowledge, even in his eight year old brain to understand the concept of a child learning from their parents. What tripped Yoongi out and threw his eight year old mind into a loop was… how much? How much did a children learn from their parents? Was it only horrible slurs and trick into stretching their sky blue eyes into slimmer eyes in an attempt to look Asian, or did it expand to how to bully a child into pure depression? Because if it was true, if parents taught their child how to bully one another, shouldn’t they have taught the child how to not let words hurt them?
Was Yoongi behind the process? Did Yoongi not learn enough? Was Yoongi dumb?
“Hey Chink,” Skylar called out with a bright smile on his face, as if he didn’t spit out an offensive slur, as if the name didn’t cause Yoongi to flinch away and lower his head in fear. “I need to talk to you.”
“Or try to talk to you,” Mark teased, lingering behind Skylar, as he peeked over to the boy’s shoulder with a winning smile. Yoongi sighed softly before flickering his dark eyes at the duo that stood before him. They were annoying and very dumb, still struggling with their English, despite being born in the Country. Yoongi didn’t want to brag, but he knew his English… he also knew his Korean… both vocally and visually. Skylar didn’t care though and Mark didn’t seem to understand. “I know it’s hard for you to understand us, but you need to try because we need to tell you something important. Do you understand me?”
“I can understand English, Mark. I am not dumb.”
“No, but you are ugly,” Mark resorted back in a bright chuckle, as if he stated comedy gold, and from the sound of Skylar’s laughter, Yoongi was pretty sure he did. Yoongi didn’t find it funny, though. Yoongi never found anything funny and many would like to believe it was simply because Yoongi didn’t understand. That wasn’t the case… never was the case. “Anyways, we are here to tell you about today’s show and tell. Our friend George brought in his dog: Chow.”
“Okay…” Yoongi nodded his head slowly, his raven hair falling into his eyes as his fingers grip against his oversized hoodie.
“And my father said Asians eat dogs too…” Skylar filled in, not amused with Yoongi’s confused expression.
“George really loves Chow,” Mark enforced. “And we want Ms. Rain to allow Chow to come back again, so… we are telling you…”
“Warning you…” Skylar corrected.
“To control your hunger because Chow is not food. If you are really hungry, I heard their alley cats in the garbage in the back. Help yourself. But don’t eat Chow,” Mark finished off smoothly, furrowing his eyebrows as if he was dropping heartbreaking news to Yoongi and maybe in his mind, he was.
“I hate you…” Yoongi whispered pathetically.
Yoongi knew he wasn’t being heard, wasn’t loud enough to be heard, as far as Mark and Skylar knew, Yoongi was speaking his “Ching-Chong” language. Yoongi might has well have because at least then he would have free range on what he wanted to say and maybe he would have been ignored, but at least he stated how much of an asshole they were being. For goodness sake, Yoongi picked up horrible slurs from his father in an attempt to use it on them… but now… at this point, it seemed honestly pointless. Fighting against them, standing against them, smiling despite the hate, and rolling out of bed to see them in the morning was getting tiring and honestly straight up annoying.
“You said something, Chink?” Mark challenged.
Say Something.
Say Something.
S A Y S O M E T H I N G.
“No,” Yoongi gave in. “I won’t eat the dog.”
Show and Tell was exactly how Yoongi expected it to be. Just a bunch of children displaying their best and most expensive toys or object, some brought a game system, some brought their pets, and then there was those few, who actually brought something that matters, something that caught Yoongi’s attention. Yoongi brought his piano musical notebook which held a lot of tracks his mother tweaked for him, seeing as Yoongi loved to play her piano at home. No one seemed interested though, and instead questioned him about the lack of Chinese food, they were really expecting Yoongi to bring in a cultural dish. The teacher even comment on it, stating it would be a cultural awakening for the class, but the teacher seemed to forget… Yoongi was Korean.
The school wasn’t so far from home, it was an easy walk that Yoongi took without his mother's knowledge. The school bus was loud and it was always hectic. The jokes run wild in the small moving vehicle and Yoongi honestly had enough gum in his hair to last a life time, so instead of hopping on the bus, like everyone else, Yoongi walked instead. And that’s when he finally met him… Hoseok.
Or at least that’s what he called himself.
Hoseok was a cute boy with wavy orange hair, pretty sparkling eyes and a heart shaped mouth. The best features on him was his adorable dimples and pep in his step. No one knew who he was and no one ever really seen the boy, it was almost like he was only in Yoongi’s imagination and it almost seemed like Hoseok knew the perfect time to appear… when Yoongi needed a friend. Also, when Yoongi was alone, always when he was alone. Hoseok was loud, very loud, and he loved to scream every chance he could and always pulled Yoongi up from his seat and twirl him around in an attempt to get Yoongi to dance and maybe smile. It always worked. But aside from Hoseok being a good mood maker in Yoongi’s dull and depressing life, Hoseok was a good voice of reason, spitting out lines that Yoongi really needed to hear in the morning, or when he got a bruised knee, or even when his father forgot to wish him a happy birthday on March.
Hoseok were the thoughts that Yoongi couldn’t form or believe.
“You control your happiness, Yoongi-Hyung. Don’t let anyone take either your control or happiness away from you.”
♥
Age: Eleven Year Old
It took Yoongi about five months to realize that Hoseok wasn’t real. It took about a year for Yoongi to accept and actually believe he wasn’t crazy. He never told his mother anything about Hoseok, not after her accusing Hoseok in being an imaginary friend. To be honest, Yoongi believed Hoseok was more than that. Hoseok wasn’t just there to keep and give Yoongi some company, though he did that more often than not. Hoseok was the one who makes sure Yoongi was sane and thinking optimistically, despite his iron-willed tendency to be strictly realistic. Hoseok was his hope. Hoseok was his friend. Hoseok was his thought. Hoseok was his reasons. Hoseok might not be real, breathing real air and pumping the same red blood as Yoongi, but Hoseok was nevertheless important to Yoongi and Hoseok only proved his worth, when he appeared in the plane next to Yoongi as they flew back to Daegu, Korea, once Yoongi hit the age of eleven.
Once he arrived at Daegu, the first thing Yoongi remember was how his mother sped through her life, leaving Yoongi in the dust as she reapplied to her old position, her old job, as a television personality. Yoongi’s dad was completely for it, seeing as the Min family was turning around and becoming wealthier with Yoongi’s father being promoted to Chief Financial Officer of Samsung. They did ask Yoongi about how the boy felt now that they were placed in a new environment with new people, which really wasn’t true, but at least they cared enough to ask. But Yoongi knew, despite Yoongi’s protest or dislike for his mother getting a job and leaving Yoongi behind to fend for himself, Yoongi’s words meant nothing. He was eleven after all, too old to cry for attention yet way too young to understand the reason behind the lack of attention. So Yoongi just smiled and instead peeked over at Hoseok, who stood behind his parents, as he stuck his tongue out in an attempt to get Yoongi to break into a laughing fit because a smile to Hoseok was now trivial and way too easy to accomplish.
What was not easy to accomplish is being liked, especially when you are the new kid. Yoongi knew the moment he stepped into his new middle school, Yoongi was not going to be liked for multiple reasons, first being he was westernized, second being Yoongi wasn’t the nicest person, and third being Yoongi had a small tendency in talking to Hoseok, when he really shouldn’t be. It made Yoongi seem crazy. People stay clear from Yoongi because they believe he was crazy, but Yoongi rather be called crazy than a Chink any day. Yoongi was a proud Korean. Yoongi was also a proud Hoseok lover.
“Hyung…”
Yoongi’s eyes widen at the sound. It was light and airy. It had a boyish tint to the sound, but it sounded so broken and sad. It almost sounded filled with tears and heartbreak, it was enough to get Yoongi to pause his movement and lean against the banisters in an attempt to peek down at the bottom of the staircase at the owner. The staircase was empty. Everyone was in class with the exception of Yoongi, who made a fake hall pass in an attempt to get some air, away from the judgmental eyes the lingered on him. To be frank, Yoongi already knew how to deal with those looks, they might not hold any racism in them, but they held a bit of judgement and that was about the same for the eleven year old. To be even more frank, because Yoongi knew how to deal with those looks, Yoongi had a gut feeling, he knew how to work with people and manipulate their way of thinking, well at least towards him. Maybe that was the West Side in him talking, but it honestly didn’t seem too hard.
“Please… don’t go…”
The owner of the voice belonged to Jeon Jungkook. Yoongi didn’t know much about the boy, except the boy was very smart, skipping a year, and very liked, mostly because of his looks. Jungkook had wide eyes that looked glassy and innocent, almost like a girl, but not quite. Jungkook had a nice smile with thin pink lip, his front teeth stood out slightly giving many the impression of a bunny. Yoongi was no exception. Jungkook had also been kind of tall for his age, taller than Yoongi, but then again, most were. Jungkook was also liked for being vocal, but reserve, he spoke with confidence, despite his consisted lip biting and finger twitching, which is why it stumped the raven haired boy to see the bunny teethed boy crying into his phone at the bottom of an abandon staircase.
“Hyung… I don’t want you to die out there…” Jungkook whispered into his phone, his small frame curling up into a tight ball as he sniffed loudly. Jungkook thought he was alone and if Yoongi was honest, Jungkook should have been alone. Yoongi swallowed thickly as he leaned a bit more on the banister, dangerously, but only gasping, once he felt a hand on him.
Yoongi’s mind first went to a stranger, a teacher or a student, touching Yoongi alerting him on his or her presence, but after a moment a silence, Yoongi knew it wasn’t someone. Yoongi also knew it wasn’t Hoseok. Hoseok would have panicked, pulling Yoongi out of danger before threading his skinny fingers through Yoongi’s greasy raven hair. A stranger, teacher or student, would have questioned Yoongi or worse, stay clear from him and walked down the staircase in search of the voice, in search of Jungkook. Yoongi release a shaky breath, now completely scared and unsure on who was touched him, who was slowly pulling him back and away from danger. Yoongi knows, he should turn back and meet the person in the eyes, but he couldn’t, his heart was pounding furiously and Hoseok wasn’t there to encourage him, wasn’t there to whisper words of motivation.
Yoongi froze.
“Yoongi, you should back off. You don’t want to fall,” the voice, the owner of the hand, told him. Yoongi’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion before taking a deep breath, following the owner of the voice’s order, and pulled himself off the banister. Yoongi’s eyes widen at the sight before him. “Hey, Hyung,” the purple haired boy croaked out nervously, a shaky smile on his face as he stared at Yoongi with wide eyes, almost like he was the one scared or nervous. Yoongi’s lips parted slightly, his tongue slipping out to coat his bottom lip with his small tongue, but before he could, the purple haired boy bowed his head in respect. “My name is Namjoon.”
“I don’t know you,” Yoongi whispered out in shellshock.
“It’s okay if you don’t,” Namjoon offered, his voice taking up a gentle tone, a tone that Hoseok usually used on him. But it sounded different. Namjoon’s voice was deeper, manlier despite his appearance, it held a bit of a comfort and honey smooth tone. It calmed down Yoongi more than he would have liked to admit. “I know you.” Not once did Yoongi’s heart stop beating. “Hyung…” Namjoon started, stepping forward a couple of steps before extending his hands out, rubbing Yoongi’s shoulder before gracing him with a huge dimpled smile. Namjoon had nice teeth. “I think you should comfort Jungkook.”
“I don’t know you…” Yoongi repeated lamely, his bottom lip hurting due to the amount of pressure his top teeth applied. “I don’t trust you.”
“I am like Hoseok,” Namjoon explained easily. “You trust Hoseok, right?”
“I do,” Yoongi confirmed with a slow nod. “But you are not Hoseok.”
“I am not…” Namjoon agreed with a slow head nod. “But Hoseok is the same as me. I am here to help you, Hyung. You’ve been lonely.”
“You’re….” Yoongi swallowed lamely.
“Not real?” Namjoon questioned with a tilt head, his eyes warmed and inviting. “No.”
“I am going crazy…” Yoongi whispered.
And the inner turmoil starts again.
“Maybe,” Namjoon chuckled, obviously missing the hint of panic Yoongi’s whispered held. “But that’s neither here nor there, Hyung. You are lonely and Hoseok can’t be your friend. Hoseok can’t be your only friend.” Hoseok wasn’t real… and neither was this Namjoon-guy. “Jungkook is who you need. Jungkook needs you.”
“Jungkook needs to be alone,” Yoongi deadpanned, crossing his arms as he lifted his head up to take in Namjoon’s confident appearance, ignoring the slight heart-tug he felt every time his ears picked up Jungkook’s whisper and whimper. His whimper were so soft and weak, almost like he was trying to hide it from everything and anyone, as if he was trying to hide the whimpers from himself. Yoongi swallowed thickly. Namjoon looked and acted nothing like Hoseok. Namjoon stood with confidence, despite the nervous looking smile that appeared every second Yoongi looked away. Namjoon wasn’t loud, he spoke to Yoongi as an adult, he spoke calmly and as if he was explaining the simplest of task. He wasn’t doing the best of jobs, but Yoongi understood what exactly was going on, he just didn’t know why. “I also need you to leave me alone,” Yoongi tagged on as his fingers tighten around the banister, ready to book it upstairs, away from Namjoon and Jungkook.
Yoongi wasn’t dumb though, he knew Namjoon would follow.
“You are lonely,” Namjoon repeated, this time adding an eye roll for good measure.
“Is that all you can say, Namjoon?” Yoongi challenged.
“Yes, because that’s all you can feel,” Namjoon declared.
“That’s not true!” Yoongi fought back.
“You rely on Hoseok because Hoseok is the closest thing you have as a friend. You like Hoseok because Hoseok is good to you. He doesn’t harm you. He doesn’t hate you. You know you can say and do anything to Hoseok and he’ll be there to take the hit, Hyung. But Hoseok isn’t real and you can’t rely on him, not as much as you do. You can’t even rely on me, but who you can rely on is Jungkook… after you talk to him.”
“I can’t,” Yoongi whispered, dropping his head down in shame, hair falling over his face, shielding himself from Namjoon’s intense look. “Jungkook isn’t my type. Jungkook doesn’t even like me.”
“Jungkook doesn’t know you,” Namjoon countered. “Hyung, you have the potential of being the most liked guy in the school. You are smart. You are cool. You are witty and coy. You have successful parents. Yeah, you might have voices in your head, but who to say… not everyone else does… or who’s to say Jungkook doesn’t have his own voices. Everyone’s different. But everyone feels loneliness… and everyone feels fear.”
“I am not scared.”
“Don’t take rejection as failure,” Namjoon concluded with a smile. “I can help you! I can help you with Jungkook and everyone else around you. I know how to make him like you. But you need to gain the courage. You need to be willing to go down there.” Yoongi didn’t respond, but instead released a loud sigh, allowing his shoulders to drop as he turned his head to the right, eyeing Jungkook silently. Namjoon knew. “I want you to go downstairs. I want you to sit beside Jungkook. Don’t touch him. He needs to touch you. You are going to wait until he hangs up on his Hyung. Then you are going to whisper to him… I am here for you, Jungkook. I know you don’t know me, but you don’t need to. You don’t need to know me… to know you can come to me.”
“It’s not going to work,” Yoongi tried.
“Everyone needs a friend, Hyung,” Namjoon replied. “Jungkook is no exception.”
“Jungkook has friends,” Yoongi pressed on.
“Then why is he alone… crying to his Hyung… begging for his Hyung not to leave to the military as if his Hyung has a choice…”
“How did you know that?” Yoongi asked.
“You just have to listen, Yoongi. That’s how you make friends. You listen,” Namjoon admitted, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly as he bounced down a couple of steps, a light echo appearing before Namjoon motion for Yoongi to take the next step, motioning to Jungkook to Yoongi. “Do what I instructed, Hyung.” Yoongi shook his head slowly, silently arguing with Namjoon, as he took a couple of steps down shyly. Namjoon nodded his head, dimple on display as he took Yoongi’s shaky hand into his own, intertwining their fingers tightly before allowing Namjoon to tug him down to the crying curled up ball.
“Jungkook…” Yoongi called out nervously causing Jungkook to gasp loudly, fingers snapping down and ending the call with wide eyes. “Hey…” Yoongi croaked, snapping his head up at Namjoon with eyes filled with panic. Jungkook hanged up on his brother and that was not part of the plan. Yoongi was not prepared for this.
“Sit down,” Namjoon advice, stepping down a couple of steps, standing in front of the pair, before motioning for Yoongi to sit. Yoongi followed Namjoon’s instruction slowly, moving down to sit next to Jungkook, turning his head over to the boy as he tried to calm down his panicked expression. “Tell him, you are sorry. Tell him, to call whoever he hanged up, if he is comfortable. Tell him, you are only here because you heard him cry and no matter who Jungkook is or isn’t, you don’t wish for anyone to cry.”
“What are you doing here?” Jungkook whispered softly, his fingers tightening around his phone, eyes flickering from Yoongi and back to his mobile device, obviously contemplating if he should redial his Hyung.
“I am here for you,” Yoongi answered quickly, his heart pounding a mile a minute as he stared at Jungkook’s glassy large eyes with a tight frown. Namjoon hummed softly, repeating his instruction over and over as if it was a chant, a prayer. “I am sorry for… scaring you. You can call your Hyung… if you want. But I overheard you crying and…”
“Don’t say you feel bad,” Namjoon pipped in.
“I wanted to check up on you,” Yoongi tweaked. “I know you don’t know me and I know you might not be comfortable with me. But… I don’t want to hear or see you cry, Jungkook. You are a good guy and you should smile, you have a nice smile.”
“I do…” Jungkook agreed, sniffing lightly before lowering his phone onto the stair steps, free hand moving against his eyelid, removing any tears or evidences of tears.
“Ask him if he wants a hug…” Namjoon tagged on, leaning forward to lightly push the raven haired boy to the younger boy. Yoongi’s eyes widen in panic. “Jungkook likes hugs. You have seen him hug all his friends.”
“I am not his friend…” Yoongi whispered.
“What?” Jungkook questioned in confusion, eyebrows furrowing as he edged back nervously, his bottom lips trapped between his teeth as he stared at the raven haired boy. “Did you say something?” Jungkook questioned.
“Ask,” Namjoon ordered.
“Do you want a hug, Jungkook?” Yoongi asked lamely.
Jungkook seemed shocked by the question, more than Yoongi thought he would be, but that didn’t stop Jungkook from grinning, his eyes shimmering with tears as he jumped into Yoongi’s willingly open arms. Jungkook felt soft against him, warm too, and the way his chin rested on Yoongi’s shoulder was slightly painful, but it made Yoongi’s heart relax. Namjoon cooed softly before leaning against the banister, eyeing the pair with a soft smile, before jumping towards them, dropping himself into the hug, despite Jungkook’s lack of knowledge. Namjoon seemed happy, Yoongi felt happy, and Jungkook seemed better off. It honestly looked like Namjoon was right. Jungkook didn’t have to vocalize his problems, didn’t seem like he wanted to, but he wanted someone there, he needed someone there, without Jungkook having to open his mouth. Yoongi was there and from that point on, Yoongi was always there. Yoongi was like Jungkook’s Hyung, his older biological brother, and Yoongi didn’t feel all too scare to take up the position, not even when Namjoon reminded him weeks after, Jungkook and he established their friendship.
Because yeah, Jungkook and Yoongi were now best friend, all thanks to Namjoon.
“People don’t always need advice. Sometimes all they need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them, Hyung.”
♥
Age: Fifteen Year Old
It took about eight months for Yoongi to finally accept Namjoon as another voice in Yoongi’s head or vision. Yoongi still didn’t know what to name Namjoon and Hoseok and neither did they gave him much of an idea, but it was clear that they took offense to being called imaginary. Yoongi would be too if he was completely honest, especially seeing as Namjoon did a lot for Yoongi, more than he thought possible. It took time, but Namjoon helped Yoongi loosen up. Yoongi still acted a bit crazy to some, those who catch him mid-talk with either Hoseok or Namjoon, but aside from that Namjoon gained Yoongi a nice amount of friends and popularity. It was like Yoongi predicted, people weren’t hard to manipulate, but it honestly seemed Yoongi needed a push and a correct direction, which Namjoon easily created with his vast knowledge. Hoseok didn’t seem to mind much as he spread his overall happiness to both the raven haired boy and purple hair enigma. On other news, Hoseok and Namjoon got along, very well, they spoke to one another when Yoongi focused on his homework or when he focused on Jungkook and let’s be honest… Yoongi has really been focusing on Jeon Jungkook, more ways than one.
“Hyung…” Jungkook smiled brightly, slamming shut his locker with a loud thud causing Yoongi to snap his attention away from his cell phone and up at the bunny teethed boy. “I heard some rumors,” Jungkook informed slowly, watching his wording before dropping onto the locker room bench with a small pout, sweat dripping down his forehead and neck as he edged closer to the freshly showered raven haired basketball captain. “These rumors are regarding you…”
“There are lies,” Yoongi deadpanned, looking down at his phone once again before cracking a smile at the incoming message.
“How would you know?” Jungkook challenged with a furrowed eyebrow, his hand tightening around his unused towel. “You haven’t even heard of them.” Yoongi hummed in response, a clear indicator that he wasn’t really listening to the tall chubby face boy. “You are not even listening to me,” Jungkook whined, smacking Yoongi’s phone with his towel, almost making the cellular device slip out of the pale boy’s hand.
“Stop being a girl,” Yoongi snapped, tightening his hold on his cell phone before slipping his phone into his bright yellow uniform jacket in annoyance. “Whatever you are hearing, Jungkook. It’s all false, okay? Rumors are always lies.”
“That isn’t true,” Jungkook countered, watching as Yoongi took a deep breath and pull himself up, dusting off his yellow uniform before shutting his open locker. Jungkook eyed him silently before coating his bottom lips with a thin layer of saliva, nervously. “That one rumor about Taeyeon and Baekhyun dating was true. Also, that rumor with Krystal and Jongin fucking behind the school bleacher was also true. Actually, any rumors about someone being fucked, sucked, or touched behind the bleachers have been proven to be true.”
“You are fifteen, Jungkook. Stop talking about stuff like that,” Yoongi ordered with a headshake, his fingers adjusting the lock perfectly before slipping his eyes shut in thought. Namjoon hummed softly in agreement, while Hoseok simply sat beside Jungkook with a bored expression on his face. School always seemed to bore Hoseok.
“Hear him out,” Namjoon advice, eyeing Jungkook with a dimple smiled, before turning his head to Yoongi with a perked eyebrow.
Yoongi sighed once more, thumping his head against his locker before turning around, pressing his back against the locker, his eyes on the big eyed bunny teethed boy. “Fine, I’ll humor you, Jungkook.”
“You will?” Jungkook gasped loudly.
“What are these rumors you hear about me?” Yoongi quizzed with a small smile on his face, an exhausted smile.
“It’s about your girlfriend, Jihyo,” Jungkook informed, his voice steady and informative, it had no doubt and held no fear. Yoongi slowly raised his eyebrow at Jungkook’s introductive statement, the smile slowly peeling off his lips as he slipped his hand into his uniform pocket. He wanted croak and question Jungkook thoroughly, but he held back, knowing full well Jungkook was only taking his time in an attempt to carefully craft the best statement or question. Jungkook was always good with how he triggered or un-triggered the raven haired boy. “I heard Jihyo was ready to take the next step with you. I heard she was planning on giving up her virginity to you and… I heard you agreed, Hyung.”
Park Jihyo was Yoongi’s first and only girlfriend. She was beautiful and very smart, she was loved by many yet still bullied by some, mostly her friends. They claim they want Jihyo to grow up, but Yoongi honestly felt like it was stupid and a lie, seeing as Jihyo was only fifteen and sheltered. Yoongi and Jihyo had been dating for six months and they have been going on well, they never pushed each other for more than the other would like to give. They had an understanding of each other and they both liked each other, so it isn’t a shock for Yoongi to find out Jihyo wanted to lose her virginity to him. They just had a couple of problems, one being Jihyo and Yoongi never actually went past hand jobs and kisses, and two being Yoongi wasn’t all too attracted to his girlfriend, despite how beautiful she might be with her pretty deer-like eyes.
“Oh…” Yoongi breathed out.
Yoongi wasn’t all too sure why he wasn’t attracted to Jihyo. She was everything Yoongi wanted and everything Yoongi needed. Besides, she really did liked him, maybe even loved, if she could gain the courage to whisper those words out after a heated makeout session. Yoongi has asked Namjoon and Hoseok a couple of times about his situation, never Jungkook, and both voices didn’t really have a believable answer. Namjoon was the closest to believe: Yoongi wasn’t ready for a relationship or the sexual field that came with a relationship. But then what would explain, Yoongi’s late night porn breezing and even later, jerk off session in the shower. His hormones were high, but not high enough for Jihyo, apparently.
“So is it true?” Jungkook asked with a tilt head, pushing himself off his seat after a while of staring. Yoongi’s eyes flickered around the room, smiling slightly at a couple of bystander before returning his attention back to Jungkook, who now removing his sweaty basketball jersey. Yoongi’s eyes widen at the sight and instantly looked away as his heart started to pound rapidly. “I decided to ask you first hand, before assuming,” Jungkook mentioned, threading his fingers through his hair before ruffling it up, creating an attractive look that Jungkook shouldn’t own.
As a matter of fact, Jungkook shouldn’t own many looks, even less the one that made Yoongi flustered and awkward. Jungkook has gotten attractive, that was a fact, he gained a bit of muscles and his shoulder started to look broader. It’s been stated many times by girls in his school, guys on his team, and even his Aunt Yoonji, that Jungkook would turn out to be even more attractive as he grew older and Yoongi could see it, but that was slightly nerve-wracking to imagine. Jungkook didn’t need more fangirls. Jungkook didn’t need more Noona eyeing him like a piece of meat and he clearly didn’t need his Hyungs to make sexual remarks at the boy. No wonder, Jungkook’s language was becoming more crude and dirty, using the words ‘sucking dick’ and ‘eating pussy’ like there wasn’t any weight to the words.
Yoongi sighed softly as he licked his lips nervously. “Jihyo didn’t mention anything to me about sex,” Yoongi admitted, raising his head back up, taking in Jungkook’s broad chest and perfectly tone abs for a fifteen year old. Jungkook made Yoongi feel very self-conscious about his body, actually about everything. “Should I be worried?” Yoongi asked, cautiously, his eyebrows furrowing as he stared at Jungkook stretch his body, killing some time before heading into the shower. Yoongi swallowed at the sight.
“I wouldn’t,” Jungkook answered brightly. “It could be that Jihyo talked to one of her friends and she decided to spread it. This could be Jihyo’s actual thoughts and wants, but too scared to tell you.”
“I bet you it was Sana!” Hoseok accused, raising his hand up in an attempt to get Yoongi’s attention. Yoongi’s smiled slightly at Hoseok’s bright tone.
“No,” Namjoon argued, bumping his shoulder with Hoseok, dropping down onto the seat that was once occupied by Jungkook. “I bet it was Nayeon. Nayeon always dislike Jihyo ever since Jihyo became head cheerleader. I’ve been taking note.”
“Sana should have been head cheerleader,” Hoseok muttered under his breath.
“That’s because you think Sana is hot,” Namjoon chuckled out.
Yoongi rolled his eyes at Hoseok’s and Namjoon’s debate before raising his head back up to Jungkook, heart beating a mile a minute, as Jungkook stared at Yoongi with a concerned look on his face. “Hyung, are you okay? You are doing the daze thing you do.”
“I am just thinking,” Yoongi responded with a shrug. “Get in the shower, Jeon,” Yoongi finally ordered, licking his lips as he felt his pocket vibrate with a new incoming text. “I’ll tell you what happens, when it happens. Till then, those rumors are false like I said they would be.” Jungkook whined softly before nodding his head, throwing the towel around his neck confidently, his front teeth out on display, before bowing his head in respect as he make his way to the shower.
“Okay. Bye, Hyung. See you in class,” Jungkook parted vibrantly.
“Is it just me or is Jungkook hot?” Hoseok croaked out after a second of silence.
“That’s gay,” Namjoon reminded Hoseok before smiling brightly, innocently at the raven haired boy who kept his eyes on his retreating best friend.
“It’s okay to be gay,” a voice added in. Yoongi’s eyebrow furrowed slowly at the sound of the voice, it wasn’t Hoseok or Namjoon. Actually, Yoongi never heard that voice before, not at school, not at home, and definitely not in his team which caused Yoongi to quickly snap his head around to the direction of the voice, only to find nothing.
“The fuck?” Yoongi questioned.
“You heard that too!” Hoseok screamed out loudly, hugging his lean frame in fear, before screaming loudly once Namjoon wiggle his eyebrows in a teasing manner. “Was it you Namjoon? The voice had a deep timber.”
“No,” Namjoon declared, eyeing Hoseok humorously before bringing his attention to Yoongi, who was narrowing his eyes at him. Yoongi knew it wasn’t Namjoon. Namjoon’s voice was deep but not as the deep as the previous voice and it wasn’t raspy and raw like the voice. Namjoon could try to make it deeper and maybe a bit rawer, but Yoongi knew that voice… was unique and couldn’t be replicated. “I promise you, it wasn’t me, Hyung.”
“Okay…” Yoongi hummed.
The voice hasn’t appeared then, yet the voice’s word lingered in his head a lot, more than he would like to admit, more than Hoseok and Namjoon felt comfortable with. Yoongi had no problem with people being gay, he being westernized a bit made him a bit more open minded to a lot of things, including homosexuality. But Yoongi also didn’t think that the idea of homosexuality would have stuck in his head as much as it did. For goodness sake, Yoongi ended up searching up gay porn one late night, Namjoon by his side, only to feel weird about it. It wasn’t like Yoongi was disgusted with it, but Yoongi couldn’t really pinpoint how he felt. Namjoon stated it wasn’t a negative feeling because if it was, Yoongi wouldn’t have returned to the gay website a couple of times in a week. It made sense, it really did, but after a while… Yoongi started to question his own sexuality, which caused Namjoon to argue with him.
Hoseok was okay with being gay though… so there’s that.
“Oppa…” Jihyo whispered softly in Yoongi’s ear, one afternoon.
Cheerleading practice ended late, causing Yoongi to stay behind and wait for Jihyo, seeing as she send him a text message asking Yoongi to wait up for her. At first, Yoongi was planning on rejecting, seeing as Yoongi was tired from his own practice and because of late, Yoongi has been steering clear from Jungkook and Jihyo. Jungkook because the more the boy lingered, the more Yoongi started to notice all the fine minor details that makes up Jeon Jungkook. Jihyo because Yoongi now felt extremely bad not being sexually attracted to her and he felt it was only right to organize his thought, sort out his sexuality, before pushing forward with their relationship. Jungkook seemed fine with the distance, though Yoongi figured Jungkook didn’t notice all too much. Jihyo obviously notice the distance and took charge instead, asking Yoongi to stay behind, before dragging him behind the notorious sex bleacher.
Jihyo’s tongue slide into Yoongi’s mouth easily, moving in sync with his as Yoongi’s hand slide down her body, his back pressed against the bleacher stand. It felt good, despite all the gay thought and lack of attraction Yoongi might have, kissing Jihyo was always amazing. Grinding against Jihyo was always amazing too. Squeezing and grip his small breast amazing and listening to those soft, breathy moan was amazing, as well. Jihyo seemed to think so too, because her fingers kept tugging at Yoongi’s hair, manipulating how much Yoongi kissed her or nip her, controlling how much strength he used on her. Yoongi was submissive in a sense, but as long as Jihyo enjoyed it and kept delivering pleasure, Yoongi did not mind, especially when her hand started to grope Yoongi’s semi-erection.
“Oppa… I’ve been thinking…” Jihyo started once her lips pulled away from Yoongi, a light trail of saliva dripping down her chin as she stared up at Yoongi with wide eyes. Jihyo was so beautiful, Yoongi really wished he could love her the way she wanted him to. Jihyo was so pretty, Yoongi wished he could think about her the way he thought of Jungkook as of late. “I know we aren’t ready for sex… I know…” Jihyo understood him so well. “But I’ve been craving for more… I’ve been wanting to please you more…”
“You do…” Yoongi answered in autopilot because despite everything, that always was the correct answer. “You have.”
Jihyo smiled softly at Yoongi’s response. It’s almost like she needed to hear it. She needed some reassurement and maybe it was her friends again or maybe it was Yoongi’s lack of attention or it could even be her inner turmoil. “I want to do more,” Jihyo repeated with a bit more confidence, her tongue licking her bottom lips before stepping back a couple of steps. Yoongi’s arms extended out in an attempt to bring her closer to him once again, but Yoongi quickly dropped his hand to his side once Jihyo dropped to her knees, in between Yoongi’s leg. “I want to suck you off, Oppa.”
“Oh…” Yoongi breathed out, a small smile playing on his lips before swallowing thickly. “Okay…” Yoongi agreed with a slight head nod, causing Jihyo to yelp in excitement or maybe fright, he couldn’t tell too well. Jihyo looked excited, but very scared, as if she wanted to do it, but too scared to actually take the steps. But she was on her knees, her hands rubbing Yoongi’s hips as she stared directly at Yoongi’s jean zipper. Yoongi bite his bottom lips, slipping his eyes shut in excitement as he allowed his heart to harshly pound against his chest.
“I wouldn’t let her suck you off if I were you, Hyungie,” a masculine voice advised, a familiar yet unfamiliar masculine voice advised him, causing Yoongi to snap his eyes open and down to the ground where Jihyo kneeled in front of him, beside a lavender haired boy. “Don’t scream, Hyungie!” The voice called out, placing his hands on top of Jihyo’s busy ones, a bright square shaped smile on his face as his eyes sparkled in enjoyment. “You are going to scare your girlfriend.” Yoongi swallowed thickly, eyes widening as Jihyo tugged down his jeans with a bit of effort, she was panting. “You don’t want her to suck you off, Hyungie. You are not erect and you aren’t going to get there. She is going to be hurt. She is going to get offended.”
“You are not real…” Yoongi breathed out.
“What?” Jihyo froze.
“I am as real as Hoseok and Namjoon,” the lavender haired boy countered, dropping off his knees and onto his ass, his hands moving to his knees as he tried to massage them and remove any pain he might have felt. “Hyungie… you shouldn’t respond to me. You look crazy.” The lavender haired boy smiled brightly at Yoongi before snapping his attention back to Jihyo, once she started to tug Yoongi’s boxer in an attempt to bring the attention back to her. Yoongi almost forgot he wasn’t staring at her, he was staring at this lavender haired boy who was only seen by him… only him. “My name is Taehyung,” the boy introduced innocently. “And you’re gay, Hyungie.”
“I’m not…” Yoongi argued with furrowed eyebrows.
“Not what?” Jihyo called out, pausing her actions as she allowed herself to drop down to her ass, copying Taehyung’s motion with a worried expression. At least she wasn’t offended, Yoongi really prayed she wouldn’t be. Yoongi swallowed. “Yoongi…” Jihyo called out causing Taehyung to giggle at Jihyo’s innocence. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah…” Yoongi answered back nervously, his lips quivered slightly as he stared down at Jihyo… and Taehyung. “I just think… we shouldn’t be doing this behind a bleacher…” Jihyo furrowed her eyebrows in question before gasping, eyes brightening and widening slightly as Yoongi statement registered in her brain. “You mean too much to me. Plus, I want us to be fully ready before jumping into anything.”
“Oh~” Taehyung cheered. “That’s a good one. That’s a real good one, Hyungie.”
Ever since that day, Taehyung had become an addition to Yoongi’s screwed up life, and yes, it was screwed up beyond definition. He saw people that weren’t there. Those people claimed to be his thoughts. Those people got offended by being called imaginary or even a ghost, which was a new one. Those people appeared more often and only when Yoongi needed him, even Taehyung. Taehyung was a bit worse though. Taehyung appeared at the worst time, mostly at night to spill out random ‘Do you know?’ Facts, which caused Namjoon to snap because yes, Namjoon knew and no, Yoongi did not care.
Taehyung also had this addiction to appearing beside Jihyo more times than Yoongi felt comfortable and every time he did, Taehyung always made some gay comment caused Yoongi’s mind to sink deeper into questioning his own sexuality. To make things worse. Taehyung also gained an obsession with Jungkook, always clinging to him, gushing about him, before spilling out random shit to Yoongi, while Hoseok watched innocently in the background. Unlike Hoseok and Namjoon, Yoongi wouldn’t say Taehyung had much of a positive impact. If Taehyung left, it would make Yoongi feel less crazy, but his presence didn’t do much.
“Hey, Hyungie, did you know a snail can sleep for three years?!” Taehyung exclaimed loudly, squared shaped smile in place as he watched Yoongi focus on his homework. “Isn’t that interesting, Hyungie?” Taehyung egged on, dropping onto his belly as he stared at Yoongi closely, a small pout on his face as he edged closer, his plump lips brushing against Yoongi’s pale cheeks. “You are ignoring me, Hyungie!” Taehyung accused, before dropping his head down onto Yoongi’s pillow. “I hate you…” Taehyung muttered. Yoongi perked an eyebrow before releasing a loud sigh. Taehyung was obviously his least favorite…whatever they are. Thoughts. He is going to call them thoughts. “You are gay anyways,” Taehyung mocked before rolling on the bed causing Yoongi to bring his attention to Taehyung, glare intact.
“So much of life, it seem to me, is determined by pure randomness, Hyungie. So don’t stress it.”