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Hat Habit

Summary:

Demencia and Dr. Flug get stuck in Black Hat’s bathroom, and make a puzzling discovery about his choice in headwear.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 

Dr. Flug cringed when he was shoved into the wall of the closet. His sneakers slipped on something thin; toilet paper, he assumed. He could hardly see, save the sliver of light coming from the crack of the door to the rest of the bathroom.

And not just any bathroom, but Black Hat’s personal bathroom.

Dr. Flug had never set foot near Black Hat’s personal quarters, let alone his bathroom. He’d much rather hide in the safety and relative privacy of his laboratory. But no, a certain girl barged into his haven, just when he was on the verge of a new formula for Black Hat’s ‘bomb jelly’, and convinced him to accompany her on a risky task.

Now here he was, crammed into a fancy but cramped toilet closet with an insane fangirl.

“Demencia, I--I don’t think this is a good idea!” Dr. Flug cried.

“Shhhhh!”

“We’ll get caught and then--and then--!”

Shhhhh!

“Oh, why did I let you talk me into thi--”

“SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Demencia shushed--or rather hissed--into Dr. Flug’s face, covering his paper bag with spit.

“Euuugh…” He wiped off his glasses with the sleeve of his lab coat. “C--can you at least let me get out before something happens? P--please?” If he hurried, he could run back to his lab before his boss noticed, and Dementia could resume with her scheme as she pleased.

“Nope!”

“Why?”

The sound of a door opening from the connecting bedroom was his answer.

He’s here!!! ” Demencia squealed.

“Shhhh!!” He hushed while shoving his hand against her grin. “He’ll hear us!!” When he heard footsteps on tile and saw a familiar, tall shadow enter the bathroom, Dr. Flug inched closer to the opening despite his fear. Demencia followed suit with a smile wide enough to split her skull in two.

Black Hat disappeared from view, but they could still hear him puttering about the bathroom. Such a strange choice of words, but Dr. Flug didn’t know what else to call what he heard; water gently rushing from a faucet, soap lathering between fingers, and the soft rustle of hand towels. He could have sworn he even heard Black Hat hum a tune to himself!

A beat later, Black Hat returned to their line of sight--clad in nothing but his top hat and a grey silken bathrobe.

Demencia squeaked, but clapped her hands over her face. Dr. Flug could feel her tremble with excitement. He even tensed with anticipation as Black Hat raised his hand to the brim of his hat.

Black Hat removed his iconic top hat, revealing a black bowler hat beneath it. No surprise, everyone had seen it on the rare occasion Black Hat tipped his hat. But then his other hand raised the bowler hat from his head…

And there was another, smaller hat beneath it.

Dr. Flug’s eyebrows arched while Demencia’s face fell, both in confusion. They stared in silence as Black Hat removed that hat, and another, and another, and another…

Just before he touched the eleventh one, a dark sun hat with black roses, his face scrunched up and an uncomfortable expression fell on his face.

“Ah...ah...AH...ACK-CHOO!!!”

G--Gesundheit.” Dr. Flug said, then slapped his hands over where his mouth would be.

Sniff --What--?” Black Hat glared at the closet, seeing the figures hiding in the darkness. He marched over and flung the door open, shining light onto Demencia and Dr. flug. She chirped, “Hi!” and waved while Dr. Flug scrambled to the furthest corner of the closet.

Black Hat clenched his pointed teeth in a grimace as his eyes narrowed to slits. Red colored his cheeks from embarrassment and anger. His face burned so hot it looked ready to melt the skin off his face.

“Why you little, insolent--!”

Before Dr. Flug and Demencia knew it, one minute they’re sitting in Black Hat’s bathroom, and the next they’re literally kicked out and sent flying out the door. They crashed against the rough hallway carpet in an undignified heap.

“And stay out of my personal quarters, you perverted imbeciles!!! ” Black Hat screeched before slamming the door with such force every painting on the walls jumped.

Rubbing his head, Dr. Flug sat up while Demencia sighed, “Well, we didn’t get to see Black Hat naked…” Then she clapped her hands and said, “But there’s always next time!”

“...I--I’m going back to my experiments…”

Notes:

I have never fallen in love with a show in such a short period of time--and not just because of the shortness of the cartoons. I absolutely adore these characters <3