Work Text:
A is for Annie who fell down the stairs.
For dizzy spells
Brought on by bells
And verticality
It's best to clear
Your inner ear
With drops of QRV.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
The savage beast
May seem the least
In generosity,
But you'll find friends
For any ends
If you have QRV.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
When nought excites
Lost appetites
And muscles atrophy,
A supplement
Of great extent
You'll find in QRV.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
In snowy ways
Still horse-drawn sleighs
Can stick distressingly.
Don't throw out weights,
Just use slick skates
Well-waxed with QRV.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach
Fresh fruit is best
(There's no contest)
For eating scrumptiously,
But lest your snack
Turn to attack,
Include some QRV.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech
Mosquitoes, ticks,
And leeches fix
On warm flesh greedily,
But they've no taste
For blood that's raced
Through veins with QRV.
G is for George smothered under a rug
As carpets old
Gain dust and mold,
Their weight can grow by three:
Turn colors bright
And fibers light:
Restore with QRV!
H is for Hector done in by a thug
In alley doors
And on the moors
Rogues lurk in villainy,
But never fear
If you have near
A spray of QRV.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake
It quickly heals
Uneven keels—
No need of carpentry!
For best to float
That tipsy boat,
Apply some QRV.
J is for James who took lye by mistake
There's nought to choose
'Twixt bottle blues
When glanced at hastily;
With Green & Pink
No need to think
Which phial is QRV.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe
When hiding from
Those bothersome,
Invisibility
Is your best chance
To dodge their glance:
Use see-through QRV.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks
It toughens skin
Without, and in
The thorax' cavity
Frail tissues bind
To sturdy rind—
All thanks to QRV.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea
In tempests, storms,
And other forms
One may be swept to sea;
You would do well
Upon the swell
By taking QRV.
N is for Neville who died of ennui
When days are dull
And you feel full
Of bogging apathy,
Revitalize
Your mind and eyes:
Your life needs QRV!
O is for Olive run through with an awl
The sharpest eye
And limbs most spry
Depend on rapidly
Translating news:
Wise neurons choose
The Quick in QRV.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl
An angry soul
Without control
Will lash out violently;
When faced with wrath
Seek out a bath
Infused with QRV.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire
Pursuing tons
Of papillons
For entomology
Leads low and high,
So lure them nigh
To snare with QRV.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire
For fires fed
By trees now dead,
Or electricity,
Or gas or grease,
Aim and release
A jet of QRV.
S is for Susan who perished of fits
If sudden starts
Can cause your parts
From equilibrity,
Protect your health
For little wealth
With daily QRV.
T is for Titus who flew into bits
It's best to find
What lurks behind
Mail sent suspiciously;
For safety's sake,
Before you break
The seal, try QRV.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain
It lengthens bones,
Aids muscle tones—
All this, nutritiously!—
For growth in girth
That's full of worth,
Bulk up with QRV!
V is for Victor squashed under a train
Some eyes see all
But others fall
With lack of clarity
On sights around;
When blurs abound
Grope out your QRV.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice
In winter's chill
No human will
Can stand frigidity;
Through snow or ice
There's none so nice
And warm as QRV.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice
It keeps the moths
From woolen cloths
And rats and mice from cheese;
The loathsome roach,
Too, will reproach
Homes stocked with QRVs.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in
For fixing rocks
Or piles of blocks
Together solidly
There is no glue
Will hold so true:
For paste, use QRV!
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
To drink but gin
We find a sin
Of great depravity:
For mix or neat
You cannot beat
A shot of QRV.