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The world through the eyes of a child is simple; you smile when you’re happy and you cry when you’re sad.
Jeongguk remembered being a child himself, confused as to why the adults around him are sobbing and stuffing their faces with tissue on a hot and sunny April day. He was the flower boy- a title he’d hated because it didn’t sound like something Iron Man would be doing.
He didn’t know much about the customs but his uncle was supposedly getting married to the nice lady who gave him sketch pads and crayons when they first met. He liked her a lot. Today she was wearing a white, poofy dress, and was holding a bunch of red flowers everywhere she walked. Jeongguk’s mom had told him to walk nicely (“Don’t slouch, Jeon Jeongguk!”) in front of her and drop mushy flower petals on the floor (“Stop- You’re throwing them, sweetie! Just sprinkle them, okay?”)
His uncle looked pretty cool in his suit and Jeongguk was happy he was also dressed similarly. Everyone in the wedding hall looked like they were meant to be in a ballroom and Jeongguk couldn’t stop scratching his itchy nose because of all the pollen from the flowers.
When he was doing his job- walking down the aisle and stuff- he noticed his mommy crying in her seat. Little Jeongguk glanced worriedly at her and frowned, not caring that he was supposed to smile because his mommy was red-faced and tearing up into her handkerchief. Not only that, he saw his grandma sitting not far away next to her. It struck him odd that everyone was crying suddenly.
Did something terrible happen? Did he do something wrong?
Jeongguk faced the front and focused on walking down the rest of the way to get it over with- but that was until he saw his uncle’s face. The man was smiling from ear to ear as he looked at his bride, and his cheeks were covered in the same eye-liquid Jeongguk’s mom was suffering through.
He’d frowned at his uncle, not understanding what was the matter.
As soon as he was done with his duty, he ran back to his mother’s arms, dropping the white basket he was carrying earlier. He looked at her with his own teary-eyes and asked her, “Mommy? Mommy why are you so sad?” Jeongguk whined, tugging at her dress, “Did I do a mistake? Was I bad?”
The lady wiped a tear on the edge of her eye and gave him a loving smile, “No, preciousness, of course not.” His mother kissed his forehead, “You did so well! I’m proud of you, okay?” she looked at him and he gave her a happy nod, “I’m just emotional at weddings, Jeongguk.”
His face screwed up in confusion, “Weddings make you sad?” he cringed, “Why?”
“No, they make me feel very, very happy,” she cooed, brushing his sweaty hair back and rubbing his temples, “You wouldn’t understand now but you will when you get older.”
Pulling back from his mom (because he’s too big for kissies now), Jeongguk huffed, “I don’t think I’ll get it. Even when I’m big.” His mom rolled her eyes fondly at his words and shooed him off to play with the other kids at the party.
Being a timid six-year old, Jeongguk was pretty shy around new kids unless they interacted with him first, but Jeongguk’s mom was glad when another boy around his age came bouncing next to him to ask him to come and play.
Jeongguk met Taehyung that day, a really loud eight year old who was absolutely bored from the whole wedding thing. “Jeongguk, huh? You did great out there,” the older boy smiled, Jeongguk noticed it was the shape of a rectangle, “If it was me, boy, I think I’d throw up or something.”
Jeongguk winced at the thought, “Well, I almost threw up before walking up there.” He blushed at his own words, not knowing why he mentioned such an embarrassing thing. Taehyung, however, only responded with an easy little laugh and patted him good-naturedly on the back. “Happens to the best of us, Jeonggukie.”
Attempting not to blush more (and failing), Jeongguk scoffed, “Yeah but at least I didn’t cry like the rest of the grown-ups.” He crossed his arms and shook his head, “Even mommy was crying- and she didn’t do anything! I was the one walking, so why was she crying?”
Taehyung hummed in thought, “Oh yeah, I saw the groom tear up too.” He shrugged, “My mom said that it’s completely, absolutely normal for people to cry at weddings. Like they get flashbacks or something.” He giggled a bit at the ridiculous-sounding words, “She said it’s because they’re in love.”
“Oh,” Jeongguk said softly, dumbstruck. He blinked a few times and blew a raspberry, looking determined as he spoke, “Well I know I’m not going to cry on my wedding. That’s just being stupid.”
“Don’t say stupid, Jeonggukie.” Taehyung warned, nudging the other’s arms.
The younger boy sighed exasperatedly, “Fine. It’s silly.” He fixed his words, “Wedding-crying is silly. Happy now?”
The other boy gave him a sunny grin and Jeongguk felt his cheeks burning up in his expense, “Eggtastic.” It wasn’t until Taehyung turned ten that he knew he’d actually meant ‘ecstatic’.
Eighteen years later and a wedding hall to fill, Jeongguk was starting to understand what Taehyung’s mother meant. It wasn’t even an official wedding- knowing how the Korean society still perceive gay marriages- but his fiancé had insisted that they put on a wedding so there’s really nothing Jeongguk could say to that.
His friend Jimin often teased him about getting wrapped around Taehyung’s slim, pretty fingers but Jeongguk never figured out the downside to that. His fiancé was a wonderful person- always considerate despite being a bit childish at times. Their opposing personalities do clash sometimes but after years and years of knowing each other, they’d learned which lines they weren’t supposed to cross with the other and was respectful of the other’s perspective on things.
Plus, he and Taehyung would usually get really hot, angry make-up sex after a fight so all is good in the world. Jeongguk couldn’t really imagine spending his lifetime with anyone other than the beautiful man waiting behind the curtains for him at the end of the aisle.
He and Taehyung started out as friends, of course. They’d played Legend of Zelda religiously together and had sleepovers as children, which then later evolved into watching sports animes and awkward make-out sessions as teenagers. It was so cliché and many wondered how they managed to last so long- how they weren’t sick of each other already.
Jeongguk thinks he would never get enough of Taehyung. Getting used to someone doesn’t necessarily mean getting bored. If you’re getting tired of your partner, then it might be because you’ve stopped trying to be interested in the first place. Jeongguk never stops putting in an effort to display his affections. Whether it be simple, surprise pecks on the way to work, buying Taehyung’s favourite drink to show up home with, or to join Taehyung on rollercoaster rides despite his fear of heights.
“You clean up good,” Yoongi said when they were still in the waiting room, “Not as good as Taehyung but you’re fine enough to pair.”
Jeongguk could hear his own heart beating in his ears, “How’s Tae?” It’d been a whole day since he’d seen Taehyung and his breakfast wasn’t settling well in his stomach from nervousness, “Is Jimin with him?”
“Listen, kid,” Yoongi gave him an unimpressed look, “That’s the third time you’ve asked me that.” The older man shook his head and fixed the groom’s collar, “You need to relax. Nobody’s going to go anywhere-“
“Oh, God, hyung.” Jeongguk ran a hand through his hair, “What if Taehyung realises that I’m a total loser and leave? I can’t handle a runaway groom, Yoongi hyung, I think I’m going to be sick-“
Yoongi glared at him and held his wrists away from his styled hair, “Are you listening to yourself?” he hissed, “Don’t be ridiculous. As if Taehyung didn’t already know how much of a loser you are before sucking faces with you. Calm your shit down and think, okay?” he looked Jeongguk in the eyes, “He wanted to do this with you. The kid loves you. Now just go get married.”
Yoongi had pushed him out of the room and into the main part of the chapel. Now he was standing in front of his parents, relatives and closest friends. Taehyung’s father hadn’t approved of their relationship so he wasn’t present, but Jeongguk did see the large flower arrangement from him standing on the chapel’s entrance.
His eyes automatically landed on his mother, noticing the wet tissues balled up within her fists and her red-rimmed eyes. Her lips wobbled when she smiled and Jeongguk was glad for his father’s presence. His old man beamed at him and sent him a thumbs up before running his hand behind his wife’s back in comfort.
Taehyung had known his parents ever since they’d become childhood friends, as he also did with Taehyung’s own. The two boys used to play at each other’s houses that they’d become an extension to the other’s respective family. He’d remembered trying to re-introduce Taehyung as his boyfriend to his parents- how surprised but delighted they were. He’d wished it was the same for his fiancé’s but it wasn’t so. They’d struggled keeping their relationship for a few months until Taehyung’s father compromised, letting them be together if only his son wasn’t to go near the family company. Taehyung didn’t talk about it much but Jeongguk knew it’d left a deep scar on the father-son relationship.
Snapping back from the sudden memory-trip, Jeongguk eyed Seokjin waving at him with a camera in hand from the small crowd. His friends were all sitting down together, each smiling and sending him encouraging glances as he stepped up next to the altar. Hoseok was trying his utmost to make his daughter behave- lending her his phone to mess around with. The single father realised it was a terrible choice once his five year old increased the volume of the game she was playing. He snatched the phone away and quickly apologized to everyone, sending Jeongguk a wry smile. The groom smiled at him in assurance that it was fine and watched as Namjoon tried to stifle down his laugh.
“Jimin says they’re ready,” Yoongi showed up behind him, carrying the wedding bands in his hand. “The band is going to play in three.”
Jeongguk’s mind blanked and he swallowed nervously. How did he get here again?
Oh, that’s right. He’d proposed.
Taehyung had been hinting at him to do it and he wasn’t blind, noticing the wedding magazines lying around their shared apartment and the proposal scenes his lover would highlight whenever they were watching some romcom. He’d went and got two silver rings after that, not exactly knowing how to propose to someone.
He wasn’t the best at hiding things, but Taehyung was the best at figuring things out, so at some point in his doubt- Taehyung noticed. The moment Jeongguk asked his boyfriend to meet up at a fancy restaurant downtown (because he ran out of ideas and decided to just fuck it and propose) after work, Taehyung had called up Jimin and screamed at him because it was finally happening.
What Taehyung didn’t expect, though, was to get stood up in the restaurant until it was closing time. He’d gotten angry at first- but then worried because Jeongguk wasn’t answering his phone and he always picks up Taehyung’s calls. He’d realised something was amiss and had called up the entirety of both his and Jeongguk’s connections to ask if they’d known where he was.
Taehyung had run to Jeongguk’s office first, deciding that he’d start from where he knew his boyfriend was at before. He’d banged on the building’s closed and locked up doors but there were no signs of Jeongguk. It was thirty minutes later that Taehyung found his boyfriend lying on the dirty asphalt in a dark alleyway near the office building. He was bloody and beaten up and Taehyung almost cried as he cradled the other’s head in his arms.
“T-Taehyung, I’m sorry.” Jeongguk’s voice was weak and the blood in his mouth was muffling his words, “They… they got the ring… that I was supposed to give,” he coughed, wincing as he did, “to you tonight..”
Taehyung wept and said he didn’t care- if Jeongguk was still alive he didn’t care for anything else, “You… you were mugged, Jeongguk.” He sniffed, wiping blood off the other’s cheek, “Now’s not the time for that. We need to go to a h-hospital, hm?”
Jeongguk shook his head stubbornly, “No, no. Before that I’ve got something to ask you.” He held Taehyung’s warm hands in his, “I need to ask you to marry me. I need to do it before anyone doses me with painkillers and I forget anything happened.”
“Are you insane?!” Taehyung had screamed at him, squirming out of his grip, “You’re head is punctured, Jeongguk! I’m calling the hospital.”
Jeongguk’s hand snatched the other’s phone and he held it away, making Taehyung look into his eyes. “Kim Taehyung I know this place is shitty and how I’m asking you right now is also shitty- but I swear I’d spend the rest of my life making it up to you if only you’d let me be by your side. I love you- I have nothing but love for you because some muggers just beat me up and took our engagement rings with them,” he smiled fondly, catching a single tear that was falling off Taehyung’s chin, “So now I’m just a man with nothing but a promise of love for you, who is asking you to marry me.” He grimaced as he sat up properly, feeling his sides aching but ignoring it. “What do you say, Tae?” he smiled lovingly at his boyfriend, “Would you marry me?”
Taehyung’s eyes were glassy and heavy with tears, but it was tinted with happiness instead of worry this time. Jeongguk saw the other’s blush and how he covered it with a hand. His boyfriend’s eyes turned up in cute, half-moon shapes and his brown hair was bouncing as he nodded violently, “Yes! Oh my God, Yes! I love you s-so much you big dummy,” his voice was shaky with pure joy as he spoke, “Yes, yes, yes!” he accentuated each word with a tender kiss on Jeongguk’s lips, not minding the dried blood.
Jeongguk remembered how chaotic it was after that- Seokjin was nagging them in the emergency room, his parents were calling him through Taehyung's phone every five minutes, and Jimin was crying in Yoongi’s arms as he watched Taehyung tend to his new fiancé. He hadn’t cared, though, because Taehyung was beaming at him and had called him ‘future hubby’ so sweetly during his stay in the hospital ward.
Taehyung had bought new engagement rings the day after and slipped it on Jeongguk’s ring finger while he was sitting on the hospital bed. He’d also sneaked him some food in case the hospital food was terrible. Jeongguk had kissed him plenty in a form of thank you.
If Jeongguk could count his blessings, Taehyung would take up a majority of them. It wasn’t rare that he’d feel fortunate to have a man like Taehyung to love him back and to spend the rest of his life with.
The groom was again pulled out of his thoughts when he heard his mother’s quite vicious whispering from where she was sat, “Stop slouching, sweetie!” the lady glared at him with a reddish nose, “And smile!” she added, making Jeongguk sigh.
“Mom,” he groaned, straightening up his posture, “Please.”
He could hear Yoongi snickering behind him and rolled his eyes- pausing when the entire room turned unexpectedly silent. After a few tense seconds, a familiar tune was played by the band standing nearby.
It was the wedding march.
Jeongguk gulped where he was standing and glanced at the priest officiating their ceremony, noticing how the old lady was fixing her outfit and looking ahead. Everything suddenly felt so real to Jeongguk and he could only blink nervously, waiting for his fiancé to show up at the end of the aisle.
When the curtains finally opened, his breath was taken away from him.
Taehyung was wearing a suit that matched with his own- a nice, cream-white colour contrasting Jeongguk’s ebony black. He had on a cute silver bowtie around his collar and his caramel brown hair was styled back with just the right amount of gel. He’d met Taehyung’s eyes and was stunned by how the other just radiates happiness by smiling simply. The man standing there was strikingly breath-taking, and it blew Jeongguk’s mind that they were getting married.
Next to Taehyung was Jimin, smiling proudly at his friend and linking their hands as they walked down the aisle. Jeongguk could hear Yoongi’s breath hitch from behind him and found that he himself was none the better at the hands of a certain Kim Taehyung.
Taehyung was radiant- his smile soft and eyes lighting up his face. He trained his gaze on Jeongguk and gave out a little giggle at how lost the other groom looked. Jeongguk was at a loss for words as he saw the other’s overjoyed expression, feeling the inner corners of his eyes turning damp.
The nearer his fiancé gets, the clearer was his view. Taehyung’s eyes are lined with makeup but it had a clean finish, and his smile turned into those boxy smiles that always gets Jeongguk’s heart leaping. Taehyung tilted his head slightly and every damn movement was just so small and cute that he didn’t know how he was still alive and breathing.
A few tears unknowingly trickled from the edge of his eyes at the sight, and Jeongguk’s mother gasped out loud. Thank goodness the band was still playing to drown out the shocked gasps from almost everyone in the chapel. At this point, Jeongguk couldn’t stop himself from tearing up, feeling his lips stretch into a smile as he looked at the man he was marrying. Taehyung’s eyes widened at the sight of him crying but proceeded to cup his hand around the other’s cheek to calmly wipe them off.
“Who said it was stupid to cry at a wedding?” Taehyung mused, chuckling under his breath as they stood side-by-side.
Jeongguk scoffed despite his tears and shook his head out of fondness, “I didn’t say it was stupid- I said it was silly.”
“Well look at you.” Taehyung’s teasing grin widened, “Reduced to a silly-crier at your own wedding.”
He laughed softly, letting the other man brush the tears off his face, “Now I feel bad for calling out my uncle for crying at his wedding.” Jeongguk smiled at the memory, “I’m not any better, it seems.”
Taehyung cooed at his words, “No, Jeonggukie, you’re much, much worse.”
“This is all your fault,” he glared playfully at the latter, “I’m growing soft because of you. Just look at what you did to me.”
Taehyung rolled his eyes good-naturedly, “Guilty as charged.”
The priest standing between them was amused but told them to focus on the ceremony, making the two blush at the realisation. Their vows were spoken- nothing out of the ordinary and repeated right off the officiator’s mouth. Jeongguk stared at the man he was marrying- whom he loved more than he could think- and found the answer to six-year-old Jeongguk’s questions.
People didn’t cry at their weddings just because they were happy. As kids, we would think that happy endings come hand-in-hand with the story, taking happiness for granted. But as adults who’d seen the world for what it is, we discover that not everything end up the way we wanted. Not everyone gets what they deserved and that happy endings are fleeting- lasting only until life moves on and harsh reality kicks in.
People who cry when they get married don’t do it because everything was so perfect- they do it because they know it’s not. They’re not even close to being perfect- they know they’d had fights and times where everything is falling apart. They’re shedding tears because they know that despite all of those odds, they’re still standing there. They’re still getting married- and they’re still very much in love.
Jeongguk was glad he’d cried at his wedding- and he was glad to know that Taehyung’s hands would always be there to dry the tears for him.
