Work Text:
Dawn slowly chopped away at the carrot, paying little attention to it while her mind drifted off elsewhere. She had volunteered to help with the food preparations but wasn't really able to put her heart into it. The cheerful face she put on for Ash, Brock and her Pokémon was just a mask to hide what she was really feeling.
What kind of Co-ordinator failed the appeal rounds, two contests in a row? Losing at Hearthome City had hurt her enough. To go and lose at Solaceon Town as well had made it worse. For as long as she could remember, Dawn had wished to be like her mother, Johanna, and even become a Top Coordinator. Now that dream just seemed hopelessly far away.
"Dawn, aren't you going overboard with cutting that carrot?"
The sudden voice cut into her reverie and startled her. Dawn gasped as she felt the blade biting into the palm of her hand and dropped the knife next to the tiny carrot pieces she had been chopping up over and over.
"Ah, did you cut yourself?" Ash winced, looking guilty. "Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you like that. It's not too bad, is it?"
Dawn shook her head, even as she clenched her pained hand into a tight fist. "No, it's fine. I'm fine." She stepped away, keeping her back to him as she opened up her fist to check the injury.
Blood was welling up on a long, shallow cut running across her palm. Some red patches had been smudged onto her fingers. Dawn flexed her hand, fascinated by how she could cause more of the crimson fluid to come oozing out of the cut as she did so. It slowly ran down her hand, leaving a sticky wet trail where it went. Dawn smiled faintly as she watched the running droplets traveling toward her wrist.
It was strange really. Looking at the beautiful crimson trails of her own blood and feeling the flashes of dull pain as she tensed the muscles in her hand made her feel just a little better. She was captivated by it. Dawn had never known that the sight of her own blood could possibly make her feel good, but it did.
"Dawn, you're bleeding everywhere," Brock said, sounding alarmed as he walked over and gently took her wrist, glancing critically at the oozing cut. "I'll get the first aid kit and clean this up."
"Thanks," Dawn mumbled, after he had washed away the blood and bandaged up her hand for her. The cut wasn't very deep so it would heal quickly. She still remembered how much better the pain and the blood had made her feel. Was that normal? Dawn knew better than to ask Ash or Brock. It would only cause them to worry about her.
As far as they knew, she was fine, even if she couldn't stop the vicious cycle of self-loathing that held her in its trap.