Work Text:
Among The Stars
Erebor was behind his back, massive and strong. No wind was sturdy enough, no storm wild enough to bend or break the mighty mountain.
He stood unmoving in the soft breeze, which blew his hair one way or the other and he felt as if he could step down from the cliffs of his home onto silver starlight to walk right among his forefathers and friends long gone.
A face formed in the cloudless sky, smiling down at him. It was the most beautiful thing he ever saw, clearly a star amongst others, but so much brighter it felt like he would go blind if he looked upon it for too long. And still, he couldn’t turn his eyes away.
All weakness was gone, all pain had disappeared and he felt stronger than ever, ready to rule the world if he could only gaze upon her lovely face for the rest of time.
Suddenly, he shivered, the wind growing colder by the minute. At the same time came the fire, burning and scorching, ready to melt the solid rock and everything laying beneath or standing on it. He wanted to get away, but there was nowhere he could go. If he went back inside the mountain, he would have to face Smaug and that was no fight he could win on his own. Ahead was the sky and the stars, but who was he to walk amongst them?
Flames reached for him with searing fingers, the wind pushing him back and forth, as if it was unsure which death he was worthy of. Burn like a king or simply fall into nothingness and disappear from the face of the earth.
He couldn’t move; he just wasn’t strong enough, feeling as hurt and bruised as before. His feet would no longer carry him and he sank unto the burning ground.
Fear took him with soft fingers, caressing his cheek one last time like a breeze from another world. Eyes, dim as fading stars looked at him and pulled him closer. They were merciful but unrelenting and he fell. He was alone in the dark and no matter how loud he screamed all was fading in silver light.
~~~
“Kili, Kili wake up! Stop, just stop, I am here. Kili I am here, I am here…”
He did not hear the words. All he could hear was the screaming inside his head. He wanted to fight it, just had to until strong hands took his face in an even firmer grip. A wet face was pushed against his burning neck and tears like silver fountains spilled over his heated skin. Quiet sobs tried to make themselves heard, but the screaming would not stop. It simply wouldn’t stop.
“Kili, oh my Kili.” Shivering lips pressed against his mouth, crushing and devouring and magically swallowing the screaming, making Kili realize that it was he who had made this earthshattering noise. His hands relaxed slowly around the rough fabric in his fingers, holding more like trying to push away until he could breathe no more.
Kili was shaking so hard the wooden table under him was almost coming apart. He tried to see, but darkness was still close, trying to pull him back inside. His hands held on tighter, the coarse wool feeling like the only thing real now that the lips had left his. Besides the pain in his leg.
It throbbed with a fierce vengeance, like Smaug’s breath in his fever-dream, but at the same time it felt good. It felt real, reminding Kili that he was alive.
Strange words in a language he could not understand floated around him, lulling him in and pulled him down into darkness again. Only this time, he wasn’t alone anymore.
~~~~
Waking didn’t feel good. It actually never did because sleep was comfort; it was safety, home in the arms he loved so dearly. Being awake meant to be a stranger to his surroundings and feeling foreign ever so often.
Today, it also hurt; but the more Kili woke, the more the pain faded to a dull ache in the distant that was easily to endure.
He tried to move, but something held him in place. Kili tried to focus and after a long time it seemed, he finally figured that somebody was using him as a pillow. Warm hands rested on his chest and in his matted curls and a head laid on his shoulder. A steady breath tickled his sweaty neck along with long soft hair.
Kili lifted his almost unbearable heavy arm and took hold of the hand on his chest. His strength left him before he could entwine their fingers. All he could do was take one deep breath after the other, trying not to faint again. He closed his eyes in anger about his own weakness; shivering from the effort it cost him to stay awake.
“Kili?” The hand in his turned and held him so strong as if to say: ‘I am here; I’ll never let you go.’ The weight on his shoulder lifted and a quiet voice pleaded: “Look at me, please.”
It was hard to open his eyes, but the quivering voice, the familiarity and the promise it held broke boundaries and how could he not obey?
“There you are.” Eyes shone bright in the dim light of the moon coming in through the holes in the roof and walls. Strands of golden hair fell down into his face and Kili would have recognized the silkiness of it and those eyes looking at him so full of love even if he’d lain on his deathbed.
“Hey.” Kili’s was scratchy and rough from screaming, but he didn’t need his voice for smiling. Or kissing.
It was a slow one, tranquil and caring. Saying so much more than words ever could, tasting of faith, home and so much love. When they finally stopped, Kili felt not just better, but whole again.
“Fili…”
“Hush, Kili, I am here. I’ll take care of you Mahal. Always.”
And there they were again, his stars. They were all coming out again, lighting up the sky. For him. Them. Together.