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“She’s really small.” Ryan commented as Ruby yawned. He knelt beside the bed where Rose had laid her down, tickling at her toes as Rose watched from a chair by the window, the baby book in her hand as she wrote.
“I know,” Rose smiled “it surprised me too.” She closed the book, putting it on the table beside her and curled into herself on the chair, looking tired. Ruby had only been born a couple of weeks ago and sometimes Ryan forgot that she was even there. He’d gotten used to the idea of her, Rose’s belly had gotten bigger over the months looking uncomfortable and a reminder of how things were going to change again.
And they had changed, but not because of Ruby being around. She cried sometimes but it wasn’t that loud, and Rose took really good care of her.
It had been Rose who had changed things. His mom looked less like a ghost and more like the mom he’d had before. His dad slept more and seemed to relax. The tension in the house had drained and no one was walking in egg shells around each other anymore.
Ruby herself though was still a bit of an oddity. Ryan was used to Rose always being around. In a way she’d been around long before she’d showed up at their door. Bennett had talked about her so much that having her live with them had seemed normal.
She talked though, she needed things, she was around. Ruby wasn’t the same. She didn’t need anything from Ryan, she slept and spent most of her time in Rose’s room or in the living room. Ryan tended to stick to his own room so he hadn’t seen her much.
He didn’t know anything about babies, had never really had the urge to learn until now. But she was Bennett’s, the way she would frown, the length of her fingers. The hair on the top of her head was dark and Ryan felt responsible in a way he had never expected to be.
“She’s never going to know him, is she?” Carefully, Ryan slid his hands under her body, cradling her neck securely as he lifted her up to rest against his chest. She blinked up at him before closing her eyes, mouth still slightly open.
Rose looked sad “I could lie and say she’ll know him from us.” Ryan knew the point of the book she kept was so Ruby could know her father. “At least the parts we knew of him. But not, she’s won’t really.” Rose burrowed under the blanket she had on her lap. “He’ll just be a story to her.”
“Yeah.” That was the part that really sucked. They’d all gotten a little bit of him, he was real. But all Ruby would have of him was the features she shared and a last name Rose had been insistent she have. “That will be okay though,” he told Ruby as much as he told Rose, rocking her lightly. “She has my parents, and she has you.”
Rose rested her head on her arms smiling at him “And clearly she has you.”
Ryan nodded eyes stinging as he looked back down at his sleeping niece, “yeah, she does.”
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”You should just talk to her,” Ryan threw his head back on his bed and groused “and stop talking to me about her.” All his brother ever talked about was Rose, Rose this and Rose that, for years. Ryan knew more about her daily habits and the way she would fold her paper or cut her food than he did about literally anyone else.
At first Bennett’s crush had been cute, and kind of satisfying to know that his brother who everyone liked couldn’t even work up the courage to talk to the girl he liked. It was satisfying to him in only the way a younger sibling could be satisfied with their older sibling not being quite as perfect as everyone made him out to be.
“I can’t!” Bennett looked defeated and Ryan really wanted to throw something at his face. So he did.
“Yes you can.” He chucked the pillow under his head at his brother who dodged out of the way laughing. “Now get out of my room.” he shouted not able to keep the smile off his face.
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“So do you think you’ll date again, have more kids?” Ryan asked leaning over the carseat as he watched Ruby naw on her hand, getting drool everywhere. He could have taken the passenger seat but felt like someone had to be back here with her so she didn’t feel alone.
“What,” he caught Rose’s baffled face in the rearview mirror and watched as she shook her head “honestly, I don’t know. Right now definitely not.” She pulled into the drive way of the Brewer home, carefully parking beside his dad’s car. His mom had let Rose take her car for Ruby’s doctor appointment, having work to finish up at the house. Ryan had offered to go with her so she didn’t have to go alone.
He made a silly face at Ruby and she smiled, definitely a smile and not gas, Ryan wouldn’t believe otherwise.
“Why did you ask?” Rose shut off the car and was grabbing for her purse and Ruby’s diaper bag. Ryan had already snapped out of his seatbelt and was unsnapping the carseat from it’s base, lifting up the handle.
“I don’t know,” he got out and reached inside to lift out the carseat, being careful not to move it too fast. He was getting better at this. Rose gave him a thankful smile was they walked up the driveway side by side, Ruby between them. “It’s just something that came up in my group, moving on.”
“Definitely no to more kids for the foreseeable future,” Rose opened the door for him and Bennett held the carseat in front of him as they entered the house. “I know I should probably try dating, it’s been over a year. But I just don’t want to, not yet.”
“That’s cool.” Ryan enthused, because he didn’t want Rose to do anything she wasn’t ready for and a part of him was worried that she’d still leave them. She’d fit into their family so well that he couldn’t imagine her not being there, her and Ruby.
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”Dude, it’s late. I was sleeping.” Ryan mumbled into his cellphone glaring even though he knew Bennett couldn’t see. He balanced the phone between his shoulder and ear as he searched the fridge for something to eat now that he was up anyway.
“I know,” his brother’s voice was breathless across the other line “I’m sorry, I just had to tell someone. I’m with Rose.”
Ryan’s eyes popped open at that and he stopped his search in the fridge, closing it as he held the phone closer to his ear and sat down. “Seriously?”
“Yeah,” Bennett sounded happy “she’s in the bathroom right now. She’s so amazing.”
“Well I’d hope so or the years you’ve spent watching her might have been a waste.” Ryan snarked. He was happy for Bennett, surprised he’d finally worked up the courage to enter her orbit, but happy. “Also, dude really last minute don’t you think. Isn’t she going away to college?”
“I know,” Bennett’s voice became muffled a little. “We’ve talked about it, we’re going to figure something out. I got to go, she’s coming back.”
Ryan rolled his eyes and got back up and went straight back to the fridge “Well, have fun. Get home late so mom and dad can get mad at you for once.”
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“So I hear you might have a girlfriend?” Rose’s voice was teasing as she sat down beside him, Ruby was gurgling in her arms happily and automatically Ryan lifted his arms, offering.
She passed her over and Ryan started playing with her, flushing as he tried to avoid Rose’s knowing eyes. “Maybe, I think.” Rose nudged his shoulder with his making him admit “I haven’t asked her yet?”
Rose reached forward to tickle Ruby’s belly and the little girl laughed, her newly grown teeth visible in her mouth. “Why not?”
Ryan bounced Ruby on his knee, keeping her entertained as he finally let himself look Rose in the eyes “Apparently, the guys in my family are horrible at talking to the women we actually like.” His skin still felt flushed, this was different then it had been with Ashley. He really liked this girl and a part of him was glad Rose had asked.
He liked to imagine Bennett would have, it helped having her around.
Rose smiled brightly at his words telling him “Just don’t wait till the last day of school.