Work Text:
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“I tried to give you consolation
When your old man had let you down.
Like a fool, I fell in love with you,
Turned my whole world upside down"
Layla
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Reira-san, what do you do when you get lonely? Sing or write a song? Do you just listen to music or do you have courage enough to go out, looking for company? I wonder why you don’t stop hiding and pretending. Why don’t you admit it, aren’t you tired of playing this game? I didn’t know your huge pride wouldn’t let you say you need the company of a 15-year-old boy…
Even so, I think you don’t understand it. I am a boy who lives from women, but I don’t want to live with them at all. Why do you take so long to call me? Reira-san, you should know that I have always time for you. I want to give you consolation and be by your side, since the man you want is going to marry with a woman he doesn’t love. You never thought he could get married, did you?
I don’t want to be like Nobu-san or Yasu-san, I want to stay with the woman I desire and I’ll do everything within my power to make it happen. I am here and I won’t run away anymore. After I said “no” to my job and after I said “no” to money… I came here only to stay with you, because it’s impossible, even for a Black Stone, not to fall in love with the Trapnest Princess. Your way, your smile and your voice, they’re just like poison running deep beneath my veins. I know you’re not that pure, I know that you have your own sins and do your best to hide them. But, Reira-san, can’t you understand that’s why I love in you? You’re so foolishly innocent, thinking that you can run away from what you are and desire…
Say, Reira-san, was it difficult when you told me your real name? For me it was difficult to let your real music go. I’d love to know what your face was hiding when I rand at your door and said “I’m Nagashi”, the lonely hero who wanders the earth looking for love. Did you notice that I didn’t use the usual excuse: “I forgot my lighter”? I demand to know what you thought when I said that who was there was only me, Okazaki Shinichi, holding an acoustic guitar. A brand new acoustic guitar, paid with your money, after my dirty little services. Had you been amazed when you saw me sitting on the sofa, instead of the bed, which had always hosted us in?
I don’t understand how is it possible that a man who really knows you can treat you with indifference. How can a man say “no” to your hopeful eyes and refuse to touch your soft hair? That’s why I’m here, Reira-san, because I can’t say “no” to you. But I want to know what your heart felt when you heard the first chord. What did your tears scream while I sang the first verse? What did you think when you found out that a little 15 years old boy was deeply in love with you? And what did you feel when he gave you his shoulder?
Did you laugh?
I need to know… At that time, I couldn’t understand why did you cover your face as soon as you realized that I, in addiction to singing, was telling you that I love you. I finally admitted that Trapnest Princess had turned my whole world upside down and you didn’t even show me your face. It was mean from you and you know it was difficult to me…
So why didn’t you show me the smile you were hiding?
Why did you let the fear win?
Why didn’t you share that happiness with me?…
Why didn’t you tell me you loved me too, Layla-san?
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