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There really was nothing worse than watching your ten year old daughter’s heart break into a thousand pieces.
There was no easy way to explain the situation to her and soften the blow. They discussed it for hours, but every time they came to a conclusion, it always resulted in the truth being too much for them to take.
Sure, things were looking up after Noct’s sacrifice. They knew that she had to die to bring back the sunlight and end humanity’s suffering – they knew, but they still weren’t prepared for life without her, and they weren’t going to be able to recover easily from her loss. The sun did rise mere minutes after Noctis entered that throne room – all the daemons were eradicated. All that was left to be done was to collect Noctis’s remains and prepare a ceremony for her.
When Shiva arrived, and told them of her plan, there was this huge wave of relief over them. They wouldn’t have to explain Noctis’s death to her ten year old daughter, but there was also the question of when Noctis would actually wake up.
Shiva was vague; Noctis would awaken, she said, but only when Noctis felt ready to leave her loved ones amongst the stars. If she wanted to leave.
Cira waited ten years to reunite with her mother. She was granted only one day, and now Cira had to wait even longer. It wasn’t fair for either of them.
When she was brought to Insomnia, days later, Gladio couldn’t look her in the eye.
Ignis sat her down, within the palace. She must’ve known something felt off, because there wasn’t one bit of excitement once she reached the Citadel. Her big blue eyes were captivated by the scenery, the elegance of it all, but the looks on her guardians faces said too much. Something wasn’t right, and Cira was going to be told everything.
It wasn’t like she was too young to comprehend these things. Living in the world of ruin was rough, and she was introduced to death as a concept far too early. The night she spent with her mother seemed too good to be true – and surely she knew that Noctis wasn’t coming back, but there was hope. Her mom would be in the Citadel waiting for her.
“Your mother … was very brave, Cira. And she did something for all of humanity – but such a heavy burden took quite a toll on her body.” Ignis says, holding Cira’s hands in his own. “We have faith that she’s going to be alright, but the damage she took… it might take a while for her to heal.”
She stares back at Ignis with disbelief. It’s taking her a bit to process, but the weight of his words sink in, and she realizes exactly what he’s telling her.
“She’s sleeping again?”
He waits a beat before nodding his head to her. He takes a deep breath, avoiding her gaze with his one eye.
“I’m afraid so, sweetheart.” Ignis gives her hands a gentle squeeze. “But we’ve been told that she will awaken. It might just take some time.”
Cira’s eyes well with tears when Ignis confirms her worst fear. Gladio feels his heart sink to his stomach as he watches her, standing off to the side. Prompto’s taken a seat next to Cira on the couch, wrapping a gentle arm around her shoulder. He’s been crying – he hardly stopped, but he doesn’t let Cira see how affected he is by this. He has to be strong for her, and if she sees how strong he’s being, it might inspire her to be strong as well.
“We just have to think about her extra hard, alright sweetpea?” Prompto says, letting the ten year old bury her face in his shirt. “We can let her know every day that we’re rooting for her, and we want her to come back. She can hear us – so, we just gotta be real loud about it.”
It’s taking every ounce of self control that he has not to burst into tears as well, but he’s had enough time to cry. Cira needed people to be there for her.
Gladio wishes he could be stronger for his daughter, but he falls short. It’s frustrating – he can’t stand his loved ones being in pain like this.
That night, Cira falls asleep in Prompto’s arms – in Noctis’s old bedroom. It’s good for them, but it leaves Gladio so alone and gives him too much time to think.
He’s lucky that Ignis is unable to sleep, sitting in the dining room in near complete darkness. They were taking turns watching over Noctis while she recovered, but Iris told them to try and rest up – she’d stay with their King for now and call if anything happened, though it was unlikely.
They don’t speak to each other much. Gladio’s got his head buried in his arms as he slumps over the dining table, and Ignis has a mug of tea to keep him occupied. Ignis asks if Gladio’s tired at all, but Gladio mumbles no, and they sit in silence some more until Ignis tells Gladio to retreat to one of the guest bedrooms. Gladio says that he’ll only do it if Ignis joins him, because he can’t bear to be alone for another night.
When Gladio sees Cira the next day, she looks less heartbroken, but still as if she was missing a vital part of her shining personality.
He decides to sit with her as she goes through her mother’s comic book collection. Gladio recognizes a good chunk of them, and figures this is a good place for him to start cheering up the ten year old – or attempt to.
“For someone who spent a majority of her free time reading comics or watching cartoons, your mother couldn’t draw to save her life.” Gladio sits across from Cira, watching as she flips through the pages of some cheesy action thriller that Prompto lent Noctis nearly fifteen years ago. “I couldn’t either – so it’s pretty impressive that you’ve got all that drawing talent, yunno.”
Cira looks up to him, half smiling, surely embarrassed by his compliment.
“Prompto tells me the same thing. Um, I dunno – in school and stuff, I liked doodling. It helped me concentrate.”
“Be proud of it.” Gladio locks eyes with his daughter, seeing as she sheepishly sinks into herself a bit. “It’s nothin’ to be ashamed of.”
“I know.” Cira pulls out another graphic novel, flipping through the pages. “Maybe I can draw something nice for mom… I dunno what she’d like though.”
“I can probably help you out with that.”
He and Noctis used to spend so much time together. He was her typical movie buddy, the one who went to see the movies Prompto wasn’t interested in. He and Noctis shared a very underground taste in music, shuffling around their weird obscure genres to one another. They fought a lot, but Noctis had so much in common with Gladio – that was one of the reasons they meshed so well together.
The four of them as lovers worked so much better than they ever thought they would.
He knows he can help out Cira because he knows so much about Noctis, but he’s sure that there’s part of her that doesn’t believe him. When Noctis came back, Gladio had to listen to her express her disappointment in them all when it turned out that they couldn’t keep themselves together in her absence.
She looks up to him with an expectant gaze in her eyes – he says he can help her, and she certainly wants to know how. But now Gladio kind of feels like an idiot because he has no idea how he’s supposed to go about doing this.
She’s his daughter. Cira is 10 years old, and Gladio kept his distance because he had too many problems regarding Noctis’s disappearance, and it hurt him too damn much to see his loved one in the child they managed to make together. Cira doesn’t call him “dad,” and he’s not even sure if she knows that he’s the one she shares half her blood with. It might’ve been obvious to those who saw them standing side by side, but Cira was still a child – Noctis was her only family as far as she was told, and she had three adults in her life who played the parent role in Noct’s absence, so she never asked if she had a father.
Ignis, Prompto, and Gladio all played that role for her, and she seemed content with it.
But Gladio thinks that he wants her to know – he’s ready to take on that responsibility for her, Noctis doesn’t have to be her only blood. If Cira could bond with Ignis over their love for cooking, and Prompto over their love for the more nerdy endeavors – maybe Cira and Gladio could bond over their obviously shared personality traits. Or he could help her with her hair, and he can show her their family’s history – then laugh about it because she’s a princess and doesn’t have to worry about living the Amicitia legacy.
“Cira – “ He doesn’t know what he’s trying to say to her. It’s not an easy topic, and she’s already had it hard enough trying to understand that the fate of the world fell into her mother’s hands. “How about we go for a walk?”
Blue eyes look towards the floor, and her eyebrows furrow. This probably isn’t what she had in mind, but it’s the only way he thinks he can get his point across.
“Has Iggy taken you to the gardens yet?”
“No… he doesn’t want to go too far from mom.” She says, her voice is small and fragile. “We haven’t left this part of the um, the … building since Auntie Iris brought me here.”
“Ah – that’s boring though. This place is huge. Mom used to play in the gardens all the time, and she always got in trouble for it.” Gladio smiles, “You wanna do that? Visit mom’s favorite place in the Citadel?”
“I’m not gonna get in trouble though, will I?”
“Nah.” Gladio pushes himself up off the floor, holding his hand out to Cira. “Just me and you. We can pick some flowers for her.” So long as they’re not dead. “Maybe being there will give you some inspiration on what to draw.”
“Okay…” Cira smiles ever so gently, taking Gladio’s hand as it was offered to her. “This place is really big. We’re not gonna get lost?”
Gladio gives a playful scoff, lifting Cira off the ground.
“Me? Get lost? I know this place like the back of my hand, kiddo.” He pauses, “But I got my phone on me just in case.”
She kind of rolls her eyes at him, and it makes his heart ache because surely that was the Noctis in her making itself known. But he doesn’t falter, and instead, he slings Cira over his shoulder – much to her dismay – and takes off towards the elevators.
It was amazing that the Citadel was still in tact, though with Ardyn… looking after it, Gladio wasn’t too surprised that that was the case. Insomnia in general had minimum damage, with a majority of the wreckage coming from the initial attack made by the empire those ten years ago. Reconstruction had already begun, and though it was taking the residents some time to move back in and resume their old lives, it was looking like things would improve within the next year or so.
Gladio is somewhat shocked to see that the gardens survived – it seems against all odds. The flowers are in bloom, decorating the scenery with vibrant colors, wrapped around the architecture. Cira is smitten with the beauty of it all, pounding on Gladio’s chest in an effort to get him to set her back on the floor.
The sun is shining brightly over the Citadel, the warmth radiating off of the tiled floor. He’d nearly forgotten what the sensation felt like, but it feels damn good – it was all thanks to Noctis.
“Mom used to play here?”
Cira’s voice snaps Gladio out of his trance, watching as she strolls forward, reaching out to touch a bushel of roses. It must’ve felt different to her, to see everything in natural sunlight, in the environment things were meant to be seen in.
“Why did she used to get in trouble?” She asks, turning ever so slightly to face Gladio. “This place doesn’t seem dangerous.”
“Ah, well – it wasn’t that she got in trouble because of any danger out here. After her injury she – “
“The injury when she got hurt by a daemon?”
Gladio walks to Cira’s side, taking her tiny hand in his.
“She tell you about that?”
“Kinda… mom showed me the big scar on her back, and told me that it made her sleep for a long time.”
“Your mom loves her sleep, huh?”
Cira shrugs her shoulders, allowing Gladio to string her forward on the marble path. Up ahead, there was a bench, seated in front of a large fountain that featured a statue of Insomnia’s patron goddess; Etro.
“We were all really scared when your mom got hurt back then. And she was asleep for a bit.” Gladio sits them down, giving Cira her distance in case she needed it. “When she woke up, your grandpa was afraid of anything happening to her, so he made people follow her around wherever she went. Mom didn’t like that one bit.”
“So she used to come out here alone and get yelled at?”
“Yeah, pretty much. Most of the time she took Iggy. I was a little more strict, so she never wanted to take me – knew I’d make her regret it.”
The ten year old pouts up at Gladio, furrowing her eyebrows as she glares at him.
“That’s mean, Gladio!”
He laughs, roughing up her thick, black hair. Her expression softens a bit, unable to hold back a giggle.
“That was just the kind of thing me and your mom had goin’ on. She was stubborn and picky, and I was bossy. We butted heads a lot, but that's why we got along so well.” He says, “And, well… I think I was afraid of anything happening to her too. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if she got hurt, and I couldn’t stop it.”
“Do you love mom?”
He’s caught a little off guard by her question. This was really the first heart to heart they had… ever had. Gladio was a tough one to open up, but his daughter wouldn’t necessarily understand that.
He knows that this is his chance to be honest with her. Cira was so young, and she probably wouldn’t be able to grasp the concept of running away from responsibility because of being in pain. He was surprised enough that she took everything Noctis had told her to heart, but Noctis’s situation was a little more upfront: she was taken away against her will, and fought every day to be able to come back – and that given the choice, Noctis would’ve never disappeared. Gladio ran because he was a coward – he was afraid of being face to face with Cira because he saw Noctis, and he saw his failures as the King’s Shield when he realized that Cira was motherless because of it. On a surface level, he knew that it wasn’t his fault – but deep down, he felt like it was, and the pain was too much to bear.
Cira deserved better than him.
Gladio looks into her big blue eyes, seeing the stubbornness locked into her expression – he wasn’t going to get off easy with her.
“I do love your mom. More than I can put into words.” He says, “That’s the short answer.”
“Is the long answer hard to explain?”
“It is – but I want to tell you.” Gladio averts his gaze, “You’re… really young, so I dunno how you’re gonna take any of this.”
Cira scoots closer to Gladio, resting her head against his shoulder. He’s quick to wrap his arm around her, tugging her close.
“Assuming mom’s not gonna be awake for a while – I got all week.” Her voice is quiet, but it’s got that bossy tone that Noct has. Gladio can’t help but laugh, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.
“Alright. So I love your mom.” He looks to her once more, “No if’s, ands, or buts.”
“But.”
“But nothin’. I love her. Sure, it’s my job to keep her safe, but spending so much time with her made me fall head over heels. She got me through a lot, and in turn, I helped her too. A lot of things went wrong at once, with the daemons and everything – but then we found out that she was gonna have you. And even though we were scared, we devoted our lives to protecting the both of you. And Cira, your mom cared so much about you – it was like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Seeing her so dedicated to being a good parent only made me love her even more – and you too.”
“You loved me before I was even born?”
“Of course I did! You were on our adventure with us – except we had to be extra careful around you – your safety was our top priority.”
Gladio remembers what it was like to hold Cira in his arms for the first time, and how it changed absolutely everything. It was always something he took seriously, but there was just something about being face to face with the infant that had his nose, shared his complexion – he wanted to keep Noctis and Cira safe.
“Cira… I know that after mom disappeared – I wasn’t really around.”
“You were! I was always really excited when you came back from your trips! And when I got to spend the day with you and we’d eat fun food.” Cira smiles up at him, “Do you think I don’t like you?”
Ten year olds were hard to reason with.
Gladio puts himself on the floor, kneeling in front of Cira. She looks perplexed, not quite understanding the honesty in Gladio’s words. Maybe to a child, Gladio’s absence didn’t register as something that would be a bad thing, especially when she had Ignis and Prompto to help.
“Okay.” Gladio’s kind of determined now, locked eyes with Cira. “You had Iggy, and Prompto – they raised you. Would you say I raised you? Or was I more… like someone you saw every couple of weeks?”
“I dunno.”
“Sorry, sweetheart. I’m not tryin’ to make this twenty questions. I’m just – I’m not really good at explainin’ myself, and I’m trying to tell you something important.”
“Okay. You and mom have a lot in common.”
He laughs, running a hand through his hair.
“So, you have mom - you have Ignis, and Prompto. They were a lot like your dad, huh?”
“I guess – you’re all family to me. But mom’s mom.” She says, kicking her feet gently, careful to not kick him in the thigh.
The… beating around the bush approach was probably no good. She was ten, she was ten – he had to keep telling himself this. Asking her if she knew why she had brown skin, and why she was taller than the rest of the kids in her class, and why her hair felt so much different than her mother’s - seemed like it wouldn’t really get him anywhere. She was smart, and maybe she’d get the hint, but it was… weird.
“…Do you think you have a dad?”
“I mean I have to have one.” She rolls her eyes, “I dunno, I just never asked… and you guys all treated me really good, so I didn’t feel like it was that important.”
This was it – he was going to tell her. He had to. Even though she doesn’t think it’s that important – it’s not ruining his day, and he’s sure she’ll be thrilled to hear that her dad has been with her this whole time.
Sweet six, why was this so hard?
“Cira. When – when your mom disappeared, and the three of us traveled back to Caem to get you and Iris, I was horrified.” Gladio says, ducking his head down. “I felt like I let her down – and I let you down too. We were supposed to travel overseas, finish our job, and then come back and raise you in the city. You were gonna grow up as a princess, and your mom was gonna rule Lucis – but all that was taken away in a matter of hours.”
Cira is frowning now, leaning forward as she hears what he has to say.
“I didn’t know what to do with myself – I could hardly look at you without feeling the guilt of my failures. So I ran, and I started taking on a lot of jobs that got me away from Lestallum – but I just, I wanted to see you grow up. Your mom would’ve never forgiven me if I took off like that, so she kept me comin’ back. The more you grew, the more you looked like her – and I just thought that you deserved better.”
Her blue eyes, and her silvery black hair – her smile, her voice, her attitude.
“Cira – those ten years ago when we found out your mom was going to have you, I committed to being your father. Our devotion to your mother split the responsibility between the four of us, but – half of your blood is mine. And – I just thought it might be nice… to know that you and I share something that’s exclusive only to us.”
He can’t get himself to look up at her, not wanting to see if she’s angry, or upset – he can’t handle hurting his kid like this, and he’s starting to think it’s a mistake.
“I’m… I guess I just got a little self-conscious. You and Ignis lived together, and he helped you with your schoolwork – and you and Prompto both love art stuff, and chocobos. But I didn’t have much – I’d show up with souvenirs, and then I’d leave for another few months. And you always looked forward to being with me, but I don’t know if I ever gave you anything to make you… really like me. I felt like a myth, and you were given the short end of the stick.”
Gladio curses underneath his breath, sure that Cira heard him in their close proximity, but he can’t help it.
“So – I understand if you don’t wanna call me ‘dad,’ and – if you need any support during your mother’s absence, well, I’m here.”
Cira’s at his side before he can blink, and he feels her wrap her thin arms around his torso as best as she could. He returns the hug, hesitantly, afraid of rejection, perhaps, but she only squeezes him tighter, and her face is buried in his chest.
“I love you – I’m so sorry that you’ve been through so much in these ten short years that you’ve been with us.”
Gladio holds Cira close, burying his face into her hair. He’s strong – he doesn’t falter, but having his baby girl in his arms makes him want to shatter into a million pieces. It took a lot for him to come clean to her, and he’s got no idea why. Perhaps it was the guilt – it’s so much that he’s not expecting her to forgive him – but she pulls back, and she’s smiling.
“It’s okay!” Cira looks up to him, “Um – I love you too. I’m not mad.”
“Jeez. You’re so much easier to talk to than your mom.” He sighs in relief, tilting his head back. “You don’t wanna punch me or anything? I deserve it.”
“Nah. A lot of the characters in comic books I would read are a lot like you – and they always have umm… baggage, but they get support from their friends and then they get better!” She’s smiling brighter than the sun, and Gladio feels like he should be insulted, but even though she’s being painfully honest, she’s right. “You were really sad, but you’re not as sad anymore, right?”
“Yeah…”
Gladio pushes his hand through Cira’s bangs, moving her hair from her face, admiring all of her features.
“I am sorry, though. I wanna make it up to you.”
“Then you can help me think of something to draw for mom.” She locks eyes with his, big and childlike. “C’mon – you love her, right? This should be easy!”
“Ugh – you’re too much. Alright, well, a lot of the time when she came out here, she’d pretend to be her favorite video game character. How about that?”
“Hmmm – that could work. Thanks, dad!”
Gladio felt as though he was shot directly into the heart with an arrow of pure love and affection. It caught him so off guard, he froze mid-motion, staring blankly at the ten year old in front of him. He had been calling Cira his daughter for years – but this… this was something new entirely, and it elicited an entirely new emotion in him that he never knew he had.
He tugs Cira into his arms and squeezes her tight, pressing many kisses to her cheek, earning unstoppable laughter and squirming from his baby girl.
It felt good.