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Castiel was furious. It's been hours since he got the Text from Sam, saying that their hunt went wrong and something happened to Dean. Sam didn't bothered with details and even though he called both their mobiles immediately neither one of them picked up. At first he tried to sooth himself, thinking it won't be too bad, otherwise Sam would've summoned him to a hospital or something. But in the last hour he started pacing through the Map Room like a nervous animal. And to be honest: he was nervous as fuck.
He knew they've been to Sioux Falls to help Sheriff Mills with what seemed like a Shapeshifter. He hadn't heard from the brothers in days, until the Text Message, that Dean was injured. He knows it's at least a six hour drive from Sioux Falls, but the longer he waited for the boys to return, the more he got nervous.
He wanted to chastise himself for staying in the Bunker, but he was still recovering from the Ramiel-Incident. And he wanted to use the time to search for Kelly, they had to find her and Lucifers Offspring as soon as possible. But he didn't really got anything done in the days of the Winchester's absence, because of his constant worry.
Castiel took yet another look on his phone and checked the time the Text from Sam arrived, it's been only about four and a half hours, so he didn't expect the sound of a key sliding into the keyhole of the Bunkers front door.
He rushed to the staircase just in time to see Sam half carrying a limping Dean into the Bunker.
“Dean!”, Cas shouted worried.
Dean looked down to him, “Heya, Buddy”.
He sounded really tired. Sam helped Dean down the stairs and into one of the chairs surrounding the Map-Table.
Cas was instantly by his side, inspecting his injured leg. It looked really bad. There was a huge cut at his knee, the bleeding already stopped mostly, but there were still small droplets of blood on Dean's shin. Cas has never been this angry at himself for losing his Grace again and not being able to help Dean heal anymore. Sam squatted down besides him, two bowls in his hand, one with hot water and a washcloth, the other with sewing supplies.
“Cas, could you please bring me a fifth of Scotch? I'm going to need it” Sam asked Cas quietly.
“Make it two”, Dean shouted after Cas, as he entered the library, where the liquor was stored.
When Cas returned with the two glasses of amber liquid and handed them to the brothers, they clinked the glasses and downed them in one swallow.
Sam started with cleaning the cut with the hot water, which soon turned red. The blood made the whole cut look way more severe than it actually was.
When Sam started to sew the flesh on Deans shin back together, Dean flinched several times, but only with his upper body, his leg stayed still.
It tortured Cas to see Dean so upset, so he walked over from the corner, from which he was watching the Winchesters, to lay his hand on Deans right shoulder, like he did so many times before.
After Sam was done with stitching Dean up, he disinfected the wound and put a bandage around the injured leg.
“Thank you, Sam, I take over from here”, Cas told Sam, while still holding onto Dean's shoulder.
Sam didn't responded, just nodded, collected his supplies and went into the kitchen to clean everything he used to fix up Dean.
“Come on, I'll help you to your room” Cas nearly whispered to Dean.
Dean seemed to be way too tired to answer and just held out his arm for Cas to put around himself and help him out of the chair.
They slowly moved through the Bunker to the hallway where all the bedrooms were located.
Cas opened Dean's room and helped him over onto the bed. After Dean sat down Cas closed the door, turned around and leaned at it, his eyes closed.
“Do you wanna tell me what happened?”, he asked Dean, his eyes still closed, not able to look at him in his current state.
“It's kind of a long story, you maybe wanna sit down.” Dean answered quietly.
“I'm fine over here, just start.” Cas replied.
Dean sighed and changed his position on the bed, more leaning against the Headboard of the Queen sized bed.
“We've been right with the assumption, that Jody dealt with a Shapeshifter.” Dean started, getting ready for a long talk, despite his tiredness. “It's been some time since we had to hunt one of those fuckers. But we didn't forget how to kill those bastards, a silver Bullet through the heart and you're done. But this damn Son of a Bitch was clever, like the first of those bastards Sam and I hunted he started using our shapes, and since we all shared the same memories it was hard to decide whether to shoot or not, you could always kill the real person, not the Shifter.”
Dean shuffled on the bed, but Cas rather heard it than saw it, since he still couldn't look at Dean and kept his eyes closed.
Cas waved his hand to sign Dean to continue.
“So after 4 days of chasing this abomination through the sewers of Sioux Falls we finally had a lead. I shut Sam and Jody away in a motel room, so whatever shape the shifter whould take, I'd know it was him.”
Cas could only shake his hand as he listened to Dean's part brave, part incredibly dumb move, trying to save his brother and the beloved Sheriff.
“I managed to trap him in an old warehouse, but I didn't expect him to take my own shape. We all hadn't got much sleep while chasing that sucker, so I was slightly tired, but instead of just pumping him full of silver, I wanted revenge, he managed to punch Jody before returning to the sewers, but I forgot that with all my memories, he'd also know all of my fighting moves. It was like fighting with a mirror. After a while I realized I'd never win a fist fight, so I tried to get back to my gun, which I'd dropped a few feet back. When the Shifter realized what I was up to, he jumped at me from behind and we fell onto the floor, in my case that meant I landed directly on a broken bottle, and sliced up most of my shin. I managed to grab my gun, and put three bullets into that Son of a Bitch before I called Sam. He and Jody already got out of the Motel and went directly to the Warehouse where I tried to stop the bleeding with my belt. Jody said she'd take care of the body of Shifter!Dean, so Sam hauled me onto the Backseat of Baby and drove like a lunatic. I'm sorry I didn't pick u when you called, but I thought it would be even more upsetting hearing me moan of the pain until the effect of the Advil knocked in. I was impressed how fast Sam got here, and the moment I saw your worried face in the Map Room I knew that was one of the dumbest decisions I ever made, because I upset you, when you were supposed to heal and recover from everything you've been through.”
Dean went quiet, but Cas was still standing leaned against the door, pinching the back of his nose against the upcoming headache, that manifested behind hid forehead.
“And now you can't even look at me, I fucked up. Again. What a surprise.”
Castiel could hear the disappointment in Dean's voice. But he wasn't disappointed of Cas, he was disappointed of himself. Even though there was no reason for it.
Cas sighed and for the first time in 30 Minutes he opened his eyes and looked at Dean. He looked like a kicked puppy. A small bruise started to appear on his Jawline and the bags under his eyes seemed darker and bigger than ever. Cas walked towards the bed and sat down besides Dean. He noticed his own tension and how hard it seemed not to burst up in tears. He really was afraid in those four an a half hours between Sam's Text and the arrival of the brothers in the Bunker.
“You didn't fuck up, Dean” Cas started, surprised how unsteady his own voice sounded.
“You saved Sam and Jody and Dad knows how many lifes in Sioux Falls. Even though I have to tell you, that your actions were incredibly dumb, doesn't matter how brave your intentions may have been. There was a real option to lose you today, and even the thought of it scares me more than I want to admit.”
Cas had his eyes closed again, not able to take in the look of Dean in his beat-up state. He heard the ruffled sound of clothing against bedding again, and the next thing he noticed were Dean's hands around his waist and his head on his shoulder.
“I'm so sorry, Cas. I never wanted to scare you.” he whispered into Cas' ear, while drawing small circles on his stomach.
“Dean?”, Cas voice was just a broken croak.
“Yeah, Cas?”
“Could you do me a favor tonight?”, the usual soft gravelly dream of whiskey was raw and unsteady, just like Cas' hands, that were laying in his lap.
“Everything you want, Angel.”, Dean tucked at Cas' side, so the elder man had to turn around.
“Could you please hold me in your arms tonight?” Cas asked, his voice only a quiet whisper, the unshed tears obvious to hear.
“Of course, Cas. I'm so sorry you had to live through this Nightmare tonight.”
Dean leaned forward to undo the laces on his boots, but flinched because of the pain in his leg.
“Let me.” Cas told him, and pulled at the laces, undoing them and pull the boots from Dean's feet. After that he opened the button and fly on his jeans. As careful as possible he pulled the clothing from Dean's legs, trying not to disturb the wound on Dean's shin. After he also freed Dean of his socks he crawled back on the bed and sat down besides Dean, now only wearing his red Flannel shirt and a Led Zeppelin Tee beneath it.
Cas started to discard himself from his clothing until he was only wearing his undershirt and his pair of wide, white Boxers. He tucked on the collar of Dean's Flannel and the man leaned forward, so Cas could free him of it.
After they stripped down to their underwear, Dean slid down onto the mattress, pulling Cas with him, until they were laying side by side on the bed, Cas cuddled against Dean's side, his face buried in the crook of his neck. Dean had one hand around Cas' shoulders and the other was laying on his side, slowly sliding up and down on the other man's body. Dean pulled Cas closer, shifting over, so Cas was nestled against his chest. Dean couldn't help himself, but press a soft kiss into the dark brown hair of the man in front of him. He lifted the hand, that was laying on Cas' shoulders, to his head, slowly stroking through the soft, perfectly tousled hair.
“I'm so sorry Cas”, Dean whispered, when the first sobs left Cas' lips.
They don't know how long they've been laying there, cuddled together, spending each other the comfort they both needed after this day.