Work Text:
The Abominable Snow-Kol
(Prompt: How about: "So I told him that under no circumstances was he allowed to pet the yeti, and that's when it happened…" Rated K+)
Klaus ignores his ringing phone, squares his shoulder and attempts to focus on the nearly blank canvas in front of him. He's been doing much the same for hours, ever since the incessant calls had started to roll in just after he'd risen. He'd checked the screen, found Kol's name flashing across it and had angrily set the device aside. Not crushing it into a useless ball of metal and glass had been difficult. Kol's taunts about his most recent traveling companion – the elusive Caroline Forbes – have been driving Klaus to distraction over the last few days.
As a result no one's dared disturb Klaus lately, not since he'd gotten a bit testy and tossed one of Marcel's hangers on over the balcony.
Kol knows precisely what he's doing and Klaus would bet he'd barely been able to contain his glee each time he'd sent a message. Pictures only, what seemed to be innocent glimpses of gorgeous scenery.
Until one looked closer, which Klaus did, and saw the little hints of Caroline flitting around the edges of the frames. The curve of her shoulder, her blonde curls blowing in the wind along the left of one. Her feet, toenails painted bright pink, her ankles crossed and resting on a chaise in the corner of another. Nearly a dozen images over the past week or so, each at a different time, sent with no warning, which Klaus devoured and memorized.
Klaus had attempted to reach Kol but his brother's not willing to give up his game, hasn't deigned to pick up his phone, nor answer any of Klaus' texts probing for details of their escapades (purely for practical purposes, of course. Kol inevitably got himself into a mess, it was only prudent that Klaus kept tabs so he could send in a cleanup crew quickly and efficiently).
The fact that Kol wants to talk now is both curious and suspicious. Klaus is refusing to rise to the bait, as difficult as it is.
The ringing finally stops and Klaus straightens, dabbing his brush in a deep blue. Perhaps he'll actually manage get something done. He mixes the pigments, searching for the perfect shade, losing himself in the task.
It takes a moment to register a new ringing. Tinny and distant had Klaus senses been even a fraction less keen he'd have missed it. He tips his head, trying to place it, realizes it's coming from his bedroom.
There's only one phone there. An old one.
Klaus is up the stairs before the palette and the brush hit the floor. He keeps the phone tucked away in his closet, plugged in and charged and he nearly rips the door off his hinges in his haste. He's expecting a call, deflates upon seeing a series of texts from an unknown number.
Reading them, Klaus realizes just who the sender is.
PICK UP YOUR DAMN PHONE, YOU DICK.
BARBIE'S ABOUT TO LOSE HER MIND.
IT'S NOT PRETTY
SHE'S SHRILL. AND LOUD.
MY EARS ARE NO LONGER SELF HEALING, REMEMBER?
Was Klaus supposed to feel sorry for Damon Salvatore and his pitiful returned humanity? Because he really didn't.
Still, he rushes back downstairs, snatches his current phone up off of the table where it's resting. He hurriedly dials, beginning to pace as he waits for the call to connect.
Caroline doesn't bother with pleasantries, sounds out of breath, though he hears loud mechanical rattling in the background, "Finally!" she spits. "I have been calling you for hours."
"Kol and I aren't…speaking at the moment," Klaus explains, feeling a tinge abashed. Caroline's been travelling for a few decades now and they've seen each other a few times. Casual run-ins that he'd arranged where they'd caught up and she'd smirked and tossed barbs that were friendlier than not while mostly ignoring his contrivances.
She snorts, "Yeah, I saw his phone. He's a creep, by the way, and we will be having words about the ethics of sneaking pictures and sending them without permission."
Klaus perks up, pleased that it seems as if Caroline's grown tired of Kol's antics. "Oh? Have you two parted ways?"
"Oh, I wish," Caroline bites out, a world of exhaustion in the words. "He's currently completely out of it and growing fur after tangling with some witches. I seriously thought about leaving him behind and booking it but my pesky conscience got in the way."
Apparently Klaus had been correct to anticipate trouble. He heads back upstairs, knowing he needs to find shoes. He'll need to track down Elijah too, from the sounds of it. Bekah as well, if only because she'll throw a tantrum if she misses the sight of Kol cursed and covered in fur. "Well, you're young yet," he jokes lightly. "I'm sure your conscience will grow less troublesome with time."
"Yeah, I'm sure you'd like that," she mutters, though Klaus thinks he hears amusement behind her exasperation.
"Where are you?" Klaus asks.
"I think we're close to the Nepalese border. I lost my phone in the fray, expect a bill by the way, otherwise I would have called you myself. It's lucky I've got Elena and Damon's home number memorized."
"Mmm, my least favorite Salvatore did not seemed pleased to be the messenger."
Caroline snorts, "Please. It's the least he can do after all the times he expected me to do his bidding."
He finds himself smiling. Caroline's just as he remembered, and she'd never been one to forget a slight or shy away from pressing an advantage. Something he's always admired. It's really too bad this isn't a personal call. Klaus focuses on the pressing problems, "You're driving?" he asks, just to confirm.
"I stole a car."
"So grand theft auto doesn't tickle you conscience?" Klaus teases.
She huffs out an annoyed breath, "Desperate times. Once Kol went down I chose flight. I was seriously outgunned."
"Smart, sweetheart. Covens in that area of the world are secretive and said to wield great power." They've been something of a fascination of Kol's for centuries though they've always spurned his attempts to make cordial contact. "Now, what's this you've said about fur?"
She makes a noise, low in her throat that's almost a laugh, "So, witch familiars are a thing, which I'm sure you knew."
"I did," Klaus confirms. "I've seen a variety over the years."
"Well, these witches have them. And Kol got a little bit too fascinated despite the fact that they warned him to stay away and promised dire consequences if he didn't."
Klaus held back a sigh. Waving that sort of temptation in front of Kol was a terrible idea. "What did he do, sweetheart?"
"Well, they invited us to a gathering and they seemed nice enough. No one tried to kill me which is kinda a novelty with witches, you know? Kol tagged along and didn't really make friends. He totally needs to quit that smarmy thing he thinks is flirting. Learn how to read a signal. Actually, you know what? Maybe he comes by that honestly."
Klaus laughs, ignores the dig and tucks the phone into his shoulder as he begins to pack. "And then what?"
The breath she blows out is long. "And then things got weird."
"Not an anomaly where Kol's concerned, I'm afraid."
"Yeah, well, I told him that under no circumstances was he allowed to pet the yeti, and that's when it happened…" Caroline words trail off, her silence expectant.
Klaus pauses, straightens. Surely he couldn't have heard that correctly. "Yeti?" he manages, unable to help his skepticism.
"Yeti," Caroline confirms, sounding perfectly serious. "I know it sounds nuts and I promise I'm not in cahoots with Kol in some elaborate prank. Actually, here, wait."
He hears some static, shuffling and the sound of the car slowing. His phone dings after a moment and Klaus sees he's received a photo.
It's of Kol, slumped awkwardly in a cramped and dingy backseat. Growing, as Caroline had said, coarse and prickly looking white fur out of his face and neck.
Klaus is torn between several emotions, annoyance at the fact that he was going to have to fly across the world to sort out this mess, that it would likely cost him a pretty penny, all because Kol was completely lacking in common sense. He's a touch pleased too, because he'd just been thinking that it was time to track down Caroline for one of their visits before Kol had found it first.
He also wants to laugh because he knows Kol's vanity is going to take an awful hit once he's aware of his new hirsute state.
He clears his throat, does his best to sound matter of fact, "Right. Keep driving. I'll pull your location from Kol's phone."
"You have him lo-jacked?"
"It's proven most helpful, love. As I'm sure you can imagine."
She hums an agreement, "I guess I can see that."
"I'll text you directions once I've gotten a flight together for you. We'll meet you halfway."
"Alright," Caroline says, resignation clear. "Make it somewhere nice, huh? Warm, if possible. I'm freaking freezing."
"I'll do my best," Klaus promises, saying goodbye and disconnecting the call.
He packs methodically, putting together plans as he goes. Caroline had wanted something nice, hadn't she? And really, he was sure he could convince her to linger awhile. Footing the bill for a little luxury was the least he could do for her after Kol had gotten her entangled in his nonsense.
Klaus was certain he could persuade her. Rome was nice this time of year, and the perfect distance between New Orleans and Caroline's location.
Had it only been an hour ago he'd been considering digging out the daggers? How quickly things could change. Klaus might even owe Kol a favor assuming setting him to rights wasn't too much of a hassle.