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I'm a Mess without You

Summary:

Ever since their first date, Hinata and Kageyama's relationship has gone downhill--Actually, the hill it went down was a cliff. Hinata was tired with getting the cold shoulder from his boyfriend, so he finally asked Kageyama out on a date, but things don't go exactly as planned.

Notes:

This is the first fanfiction I've ever written and published. I don't even know what struck me to write this. I should've been working on something else today, but instead, I sat down and wrote a KageHina oneshot fic. I hope you enjoy reading it!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

Today 11:14 AM

Kageyama ಠ_ಠ: Sorry. I can’t make it today.

Kageyama ಠ_ಠ: I’m sick with the flu.

Me: EH?!

Me: But you promised!

Me: Hey! I know you read my texts! Stop lurking!

Today 11:20 AM

Me: You better stay right where you are, Kageyama Tobio!

Kageyama has read your messages


That jerk! Hinata Shouyou thought as he hastily grabbed a hoodie that was lying lazily on the ground. He pulled it over his head and snatched his cell phone off his bed. Hinata didn’t even bother to try to change the sweatpants and t-shirt he had been wearing for the past two days straight.

“Hinata, where are you going?” Natsu, Hinata’s younger sister, called out to him as he bolted down the stairs. She wasn’t fazed by her brother’s odd, spastic behavior at all.

“I’m just going to Kageyama’s place! Later, Natsu!” he yelled back as he struggled to put on his sneakers. For a good minute, Hinata had forgotten how to put his sneakers on, so he just jammed his feet into his shoes until he could walk around. In his haste to get out the door, Hinata tripped over his shoelaces and fell face-first onto the hard cement ground.

“Ouchhhh!” He groaned loudly while picking himself off the ground. The side of his face that he landed on was already swelling up a bit; there was definitely going to be a huge bruise there for a while.

Hinata swung a leg around the seat of his bicycle so that he could ride it. He pushed his right foot hard into the pedal to get the still bike into motion. Though his movements were a bit wobbly from the “near-death experience” that he had just had, eventually, Hinata’s legs got into a quick, rhythmic pattern.

Hinata usually let his senses wander a bit whenever he pedaled his bike tediously. He would gaze out at the scenery he was in. Riding his bike into the more urban part of his small town would remind him that he was glad that he lived here instead of in a huge city like Tokyo. If he lived in Tokyo, he wouldn’t have had been able to bike everywhere he wanted. Hinata loved the feeling of riding his bike. It made him feel like he was soaring through the air.

 

But…

 

Right now, Hinata Shouyou was pedaling his bicycle so fast that bystanders thought he was an Olympic cycler. His legs pushed the bike continuously faster and faster, even when he was cycling downhill. He thought he heard an old man he passed mutter, “That boy needs Jesus. Kids my age were never in such a rush.” Hinata opened his mouth to say something back, but a mosquito flew into his mouth, so instead of spouting an excuse, he choked on an insect. Once again, he had a “near-death experience.”

Why was Hinata so upset and hellbent about getting to Kageyama as fast as he could? Well, months ago, Kageyama finally struck up the courage to ask Hinata out...


Hinata was curious as to why Kageyama had been so quiet and nervous today. Whenever he called the raven-haired teen’s name, Hinata would notice that his friend would act surprised and shy. Kageyama is definitely hiding something from me.

“H-hey, Hinata,” Kageyama stammered nervously.

Hinata’s attention completely shifted from playing with a volleyball to watching Kageyama. He was genuinely surprised. It was rare for Kageyama to refer to him as Hinata instead of some nickname.

“What is it, Kageyama?” Hinata might not be a rocket scientist or even a good student, but he could read the room.

“Do you want to hang out together on Friday?”

“Don’t we always hang out on Friday? There’s no need to ask m-”

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” Kageyama pushed out his words nervously. “Do you want to go on a date with me as boyfriends?” He stammered.


Both of them had been flustered, but Hinata accepted his invitation. Of course, the two of them had to pretend like they were just two dudes hanging out together. Neither of them told anyone, not even their parents, about their relationships. Japan in general… wasn’t exactly open to homosexual relationships.

The two of them went on their date, and when no one was around, Kageyama had kissed him. That moment was magical for the both of them. To Hinata, it was like a bolt of lightning had struck him and then melted his body into honey. When Kageyama released him from the kiss, Hinata was hungry for more, but Kageyama left embarrassed and shaky. Later, Hinata had described to his boyfriend on his experience, but Kageyama started laughing until his stomach hurt.


Kageyama and Hinata watched the end credits of the movie they were watching roll. Everyone else in the theater was already leaving. 

Sometime during the movie, Hinata stuck his hand into the popcorn tub the two of them shared. His hand searched for a popped kernel. It seemed like Kageyama had the same thought because he had a hand in the box as well. Hinata almost pulled his hand out of the box since he couldn’t find a single piece of popcorn, but Kageyama pulled on Hinata’s fingers. His hand curled around Hinata’s entire hand even though both their hands were slick with butter.

Hinata looked down at their entwined hands. Throughout almost the entire movie, Kageyama had never let go of his hand, not like Hinata minded. Kageyama’s hands felt comforting and warm; it contrasted how Hinata thought he was like when the two of them first met.

By now, everyone but them had already left the room. Hinata turned to look at Kageyama. He found that the other male was looking straight at him. His gaze was so intense. Kageyama leaned over and kissed him on the lips. Even though the peck lasted for just a split second, Hinata’s entire body felt like it was on fire. The warmth started from his lips at first, but then it travelled to his brain, his arms, his thighs, and finally his toes. When Kageyama pulled back, Hinata was hungry for more, but Kageyama was too flustered. With a quick goodbye, Hinata’s boyfriend left him.


But ever since that date, Kageyama and Hinata hadn’t been on a date. In fact, the two of them selden talked to each other, even their texts to each other had dramatically declined. It wasn’t like Hinata was playing too hard to get. In Hinata’s mind, it was reversed. Whenever Hinata texted Kageyama, he either took forever to respond, or he tried to change the subject.

Hinata Shouyou knew that his boyfriend was busy with other things, but he was craving for a deeper relationship. It just frustrated him so damn much. Recently, Karasuno had sent out report cards for the first semester of school. Kageyama's parents were completely mortified by their son's grade, so Kageyama had to take extra classes and spend more time with his studies. Of course, he would never sacrifice his volleyball practice time, so he gave up all of his extra free time he had.

To make matters worse, only three weeks ago, Hinata had gotten into a fight with Kageyama. At the end of the heated altercation, Kageyama had yelled, “Just give me some space! You’re being too clingy!” That hurt Hinata a lot. Maybe it hurt because Hinata was self-conscious about his clinginess, or maybe it hurt because those hurtful words came from Kageyama, a person he liked a lot. Either way, afterwards, the two of them gave the cold shoulder to each other.

It hurt Hinata a lot because he knew that Kageyama was unhappy with him. The two of them refused to text, call, or speak to each other unless it was necessary. Even their teammates knew that something was wrong.


“What’s up with you and Kageyama?” Sugawara asked casually.

“That guy is being a jerk,” Hinata groaned loudly. “Honestly, how can anyone get along with a grumpy guy like that?!”

Sugawara laughed while joking, “It sounds like to me that the two of you are having a lovers’ quarrel!” 

That joke made Hinata’s body go rigid for a moment. Was it obvious that the two of them were together?

“I’m just kidding!” Sugawara laughed.

Hinata broke out of his nervous state with a fake laugh.

“Of course you are! Why would I date a jerk like that?” Hinata chuckled weakly.

If Sugawara noticed that something was up with him, he didn’t show it. Internally, Hinata sighed a breath of relief before excusing himself to go to the water fountain.


Ever since that incident, Hinata felt like he had to busy himself. He immersed himself with volleyball, and desperately tried to study harder although his grades still almost never got into the double digits. No matter how hard Hinata tried to force himself to concentrate on other things, his brain was always preoccupied with Kageyama.

Just five days ago, Hinata had given in to Kageyama and their version of the Cold War. Nervously, he had tapped on the chat with Kageyama. The last text he had sent was a bad photo of Asahi. It made him miss the good times when the two of them were so close. Hinata felt a deep ache when he realized how much he needed Kageyama.

His fingers had shakingly typed out the words. Right before he sent it, Hinata held in breath. He would have to sacrifice a bit of his pride to send this out. It would be even worse if Kageyama ignored it. 


 

 

Today 8:41 PM

Me: Meet me at the park on Saturday!

Today 10:22 PM

Kageyama ಠ_ಠ: Idiot. How am I supposed to meet you if I don’t even know what time I’m supposed to meet you?

Hinata had waited a bit before responding. There was no way he wanted to appear to be desperate.

 

Today 10:35 PM

Me: 1

Kageyama ಠ_ಠ: Sure, I’ll meet you there at 1 AM.

Me: Idiot! You know I’m talking about 1 PM!


Long story short, Hinata Shouyou had a lot of pent-up frustration from this whole ordeal. Hinata had been planning on making up with his boyfriend on the date. But then, said boyfriend just had to text him that he was “too sick” to come on their date. At this point, Hinata was fed up with all of his excuses. He highly doubted that Kageyama was legitimately sick, which is why Hinata was currently in this situation.

Hinata was hurrying to Kageyama’s house, not only because he was upset at him, but also because he didn’t want to give Kageyama a chance to pretend that he was sick. A storm was coming if Hinata found out that Kageyama was lying.

Hinata hit the doorbell three times quickly. “Oi, King of the Court, open up!” he yelled.

Ten seconds passed.

Then a minute.

He debated on whether or not he should call Kageyama or not. Just as he was fishing out his phone out of his hoodie, Hinata heard the lock on the front door shift and the door opened.

One of Kageyama’s hands were wrapped around the doorknob, and the other held up a tissue to his red nose. His body was slouched over and clammy with sweat. Kageyama’s hair was tussled and there were bags underneath his eyes.

“What is it dumbass?” Kageyama Tobio grumbled.

Hinata was speechless for a second. He cleared his voice and yelled, “What the heck, Bakageyama?! How could you not tell me you were sick earlier? I was so-”

Hinata shut himself up. I was so worried about you . He thought silently to himself. There was no way he had the guts to say something so embarrassing outloud.

Kageyama raised a confused eyebrow at Hinata, and an awkward silence surrounded the two.

“Are you a dumbass, dumbass?” Kageyama accused in a hoarse voice. “Come inside already.”

He held the door open and retreated inside.

All of the frustration and anger inside of Hinata had been erased once he saw Kageyama’s sick state. Instead, he was completely ashamed by himself.  Of course he was actually sick! He felt awful that he doubted his boyfriend. How was he going to make up to Kageyama.


“Don’t you have any cans of chicken soup?” Hinata called from Kageyama’s kitchen. Kageyama was sprawled on the couch with a comfortable throw wrapped around his form. A sea of used tissues surrounded him.

“Eh? You want to make me chicken soup? Are you trying to get me even more sick, dumbass?”

“Shut up, Yamayama! Show some gratitude!” 

“Fine, they’re on the rack above the rice bucket.”

Hinata located a can of chicken noodle soup, ripped it open with a can opener, and poured it all into a bowl without reading the instructions. He shoved the bowl into a microwave and set the timer for 1 minute and thirty seconds. After the microwave beeped to alert him that it finished heating the soup, Hinata pulled it out.

"Ouch!” he cried loudly while scrambling to the kitchen table to set it down.

 “Come and get your food, Kageyama!” Hinata called.

He heard Kageyama push himself off the couch and murmur underneath his breath, “It’s definitely inedible.”

Kageyama Tobio sat down and shoved a spoonful of hot soup into his mouth.

“It’s a good thing that I can’t taste anything right now.”

“Hey, it’s canned soup! There’s no way it could taste bad!”

“I’m pretty sure that you screw up everything you touch.”

“Huh, why are you still eating it then?”

Kageyama put down the spoon and tilted his face towards the air, looking like a snob.

“I was just being polite, so your feelings wouldn’t get hurt.”

“Well, you already did a couple of weeks ago. I don’t think you could hurt my feelings more.”

The words tumbled out like a waterfall. Hinata already somewhat regretted them. How could he be so stupid? Didn’t he come here to patch things up? He wouldn’t be surprised if Kageyama decided to kick him out of his home.

Hinata broke out of his trance and looked at Kageyama’s face. The look of surprise was still evident on his face, but it eventually faded.

“Goddamnit, I hate this so much,” Kageyama growled.

In slow motion, Hinata watched as Kageyama got up and pushed his chair out of the way. He stood up straight and slapped his face hard. Then, he removed his hands and cupped them around Hinata’s face. Hinata could feel all the rough calluses he had on his hands from playing volleyball though they were slightly clammy. Kageyama leaned down and pressed his lips against Hinata’s. His eyes were closed.

For a few seconds, Hinata’s brain was blank. The kiss was tender and sweet. The lips pressed against his was slightly nervous as well, like Kageyama was worried that he’d hurt his feelings even more. His heart started racing so hard that he was surprised it didn’t completely burst out of his chest. Finally, Hinata closed his eyes and tilted his face so that he could push his lips against Kageyama’s better. Time seemed to stop as the kiss continued. Hinata wrapped his arms around Kageyama broad shoulders while Kageyama lowered his hands to rest around Hinata’s waist. Hinata eagerly moved his head to kiss harder, but instead, he bumped noses with Kageyama.

The two of them pulled their faces away from each other as they grimaced at the slight pain. And already, Hinata was impatient to have more.

“Oi, that hurt, dumbass,” Kageyama croaked softly. There was no resentment detected in his voice. His eyes lingered on Hinata’s face.

“I’m a mess without you,” Hinata blurted out.

“So am I,” the black-haired teen whispered quietly.

Hinata smirked; he had a scheme up his sleeve.

“What was that, Bakageyama?” he gloated coyly.

“You idiot! You know what I sa-”

Kageyama’s sentence was silenced by Hinata’s lips. He stood on his tiptoes and angled his head back to make up the height between the two of them. The two of them understood each other while they kissed. They shared an unspoken vow together:

“Don’t ever leave me again.”

Notes:

How'd you like my first fanfic? I feel like I wrote both of these dorks OOC. T_T Feel free to comment constructive criticism or your thoughts on this fic! If you liked this, please leave a kudos below!

[Edit] I want everyone to know that the people I ship Hinata and Kageyama - or everyone shipping in Haikyuu!! in general - platonically or just as best bros. The show is about volleyball ffs, and all the characters are teenagers, except for the coaches. I avoid smut and lemons in this fandom like the plague for that reason. This really makes no difference to this fic, but I just wanted to give my two cents on this topic though I will never flame anyone for liking that. Also, I added in hobophobic elements because I know that a majority of Japan is against the LGBTQ+ community.

[Edit] If you are one of my irl friends, and you've made it this far, I want you to know that I love/hate you right now, not like that's anything new. I highkey dislike this fic and my writing in general. More is to come in the future (once I finish like the first five chaps, kay?). Also, I didn't write this fic with an outline; I just went with the flow (and badly failed).