Chapter Text
It wasn’t easy to be Dong Sicheng. Being originally from China and moving to Korea only a year ago, was a greater strain on his social life than he had thought. People called him weird or looked at him with confused expressions whenever he couldn't properly express himself. It made Sicheng even more insecure than he already was, which resulted in becoming even more shy towards strangers. It frustrated him quite a lot. Back when he lived in China he had been a lot more confident. He was tall and people called him handsome all the time. It was an annoying contrast for sure.
Right now was a great example of his lack of a social life. He was sitting on the bleachers, all alone, while people around him were chatting amicably with each other. He saw some classmates, but decided not to join them. He couldn’t speak comfortably to them anyway.
There was the sound of a whistle and players in their sports uniforms walked onto the field. Soccer. In all honesty Sicheng couldn’t care less about the sport itself. The only sport he liked was dancing, but most people didn’t even recognise it as a sport. Yes, Sicheng did take care of his body, but he wasn’t really athletic or had a lot of muscles. Not like the players on the field.
His brown eyes fell on the person with a red band around his upper arm. It was none other than Nakamoto Yuta, the reason why he was sitting here in the first place. Because, although Sicheng didn’t like watching soccer, he liked seeing Yuta play soccer. It was weird, but true. Yuta was probably one of the only stable factors in his life and the older boy meant a lot to him. He talked with him regularly and took his time learning and understanding him. Yuta was one of his only friends.
He was also Sicheng’s crush.
Because, not only was Yuta surprisingly nice to him, he also looked really good. At this moment he was wearing his soccer tenue, consisting of a loose fitting T-Shirt and shorts in their university's colors. His thighs and calves, that could be seen, looked trained and perfect as always and he had clipped away his bangs with some bobby-pins, so that his eyes were visible. And Yuta’s eyes were also something Sicheng really liked. They were big, a dark shade of brown and they always sparkled with enthusiasm and interest whenever they talked. The rest of his body was skinny, but powerful and Sicheng couldn’t help but look at how he moved over the field.
He had promised Yuta he would come and watch his game. So he did. Since Yuta always taught him Korean, Sicheng had asked him if he could do something in return. The Japanese boy had just smiled at him and asked him to come and watch his game. After that they would get some dinner together, which was something Sicheng really looked forward to.
The game wasn’t really exciting. Yuta’s team was the absolute favorite and so they, not so surprisingly, won. Yuta even managed to score a goal himself. He wasn’t the star player of the team, but he was definitely well-known with the supporters. He was the reliable team captain that everyone could confide in.
Sicheng's attention then switched to the girls that ran up the field after the whistle, that indicated the end of the game, was blown. Of course it were the cheerleaders. Sicheng didn’t like them. Sure they were pretty, sure they were great gymnasts, but there was one reason in particular why he didn’t like them.
And that reason was running up to Yuta after their win and kissing him fully on the mouth.
Yes, Yuta was currently in a relationship with the head cheerleader, Kang Seulgi. Sicheng wanted to look away, but didn’t, and watched how the two of them broke apart and smiled at each other. Sicheng gulped. It wasn’t fair. Not the fact that he fell in love with a straight guy, nor that she got to have him, nor that he had such a lovely smile.
Sicheng stood up and picked up his bag right next to him. When he looked at Yuta again, the other was looking his way with a huge grin on his face and Sicheng felt a fluttery feeling in his stomach when Yuta waved. He gave him a smile back and hesitantly put up his hand in a wave as well. Even while celebrating their victory, Yuta had still remembered that he was here. It made Sicheng feel flattered.
The flattering feeling disappeared when Yuta’s girlfriend snapped his attention away by pulling him in for another kiss. This time Sicheng did look away and with a sigh he started to make his way towards the exit. When he exited the sports field, he took place on one of the iron fences near the entrance to wait for Yuta to finish changing.
Not a minute later he got a message
Yuta: WE WON! Thank you so much for coming Winwinnie. I’ll be there in a moment, so wait for me K?:D
Sicheng felt happy instantly. He loved it when Yuta called him by that nickname. He was the only one who called him that. And even though speaking Korean was still kind of a barrier, his reading was a lot better and he could understand almost everything that was written down.
He quickly send a message back that he was sitting on the fence near the entrance and put his phone away. And Yuta didn’t lie, because about fifteen minutes later Yuta came through the exit.
Sadly with his whole team and girlfriend behind him.
Sicheng prepared himself mentally at the sight of so many people and he gulped nervously. Yuta, however, skipped over to him happily and came to a stop in front of him holding the straps of his backpack. For someone who could play so powerfully, who looked so handsome and manly on the field, Yuta was surprisingly cute and Sicheng couldn’t help but mimic the smile on his friend’s face.
“Congratulations, Yuta-hyung,” he said and Yuta’s face lit up even more.
“Uwaa thank you Winwinnie. It went really well.” Then Yuta looked over his shoulder to the rest of the team who were chatting excitingly with one another. When he turned his head back he added almost sheepishly, “Thank you for coming, it really means a lot.” Sicheng blushed a bit at the words. He was really thankful that Yuta always spoke really clearly, with great pronunciation. He never mumbled to him. It was a huge relief and didn’t help making his crush on the elder any less.
“Still hanging out with that first year I see,” a woman’s voice suddenly interrupted them. Of course it was Yuta’s girlfriend. Sicheng knew her name was Seulgi, but didn't really know anything else about her, nor had he ever talked to her before. All he knew was that he didn’t like her and she didn’t like him. She wrapped an arm around Yuta’s waist and looked at his face expectantly. Yuta looked at Seulgi and smiled, but it wasn’t the smile he had sent Sicheng before. It felt different. Or it was just wishful thinking and Sicheng was getting a bit desperate with his crush.
“In fact, yes I am. I promised to get dinner with him, so I have to leave you in a bit,” Yuta answered and Sicheng wasn’t really happy with how Yuta chose his words. It was as if Yuta didn’t have to get dinner with him, he would stay with his girlfriend. Seulgi just pouted and put a finger to his chest.
“But what about us? Why don’t we celebrate tonight?”
“Sorry baby, can’t do.”
Seulgi released Yuta offendedly and shot Sicheng a vicious look. “I don’t see why hanging out with this kid can be more important than hanging out with your girlfriend.” And she emphasized the last words.
Sicheng said nothing. If he could express himself better in Korean he would tell her off, but he just stared back at her blankly, gripping the fence a little tighter with his hands. Yuta must’ve seen it, because he quickly came in between.
“Hey, he’s not a kid and I like hanging out with him. And we spend the last two nights together already, so what about we just see each other tomorrow?”
It didn’t make Seulgi any happier, but Sicheng felt relieved that Yuta stuck up for him in this situation. He just hoped it didn’t affect the Japanese boy’s happiness.
“Okay,” she huffed curtly, ”Then you better pick me up for school tomorrow.“ She then turned around and waved to the soccer ace, calling after him. Sicheng hated how she said it with an extra loud voice so that Yuta could hear it, especially when he saw Yuta’s face fall for a split second.
“Dongho, can you take me home? My boyfriend apparently has plans already.”
The star player of the team just smirked. “Of course pretty-girl. I can’t believe he would give up a night with such a lovely girlfriend.” Seulgi lit up at the words and looked over her shoulder to Yuta and Sicheng with narrowed eyes. Then she turned back to Dongho.
“Oh you’re such a flirt.” And she hooked her arm through his. In silence, but with a frown on their faces, Sicheng and Yuta watched them walk away. When the Chinese boy looked at Yuta, his face had turned into a sad smile and the hands around the straps of his backpack were white from gripping it too tightly.
“Sorry.”
Sicheng felt bad. Because of him Yuta felt sad and he didn’t like it. Yuta deserved someone better, someone not her.
“It’s okay, not your fault,” he said back and he shot him a smile. “Let’s go grab some dinner.”
Sicheng nodded and jumped off the fence. This was basically how it always went whenever they hung out together. Seulgi would be offended and belittle him and Yuta would just let it fall all over him and feel bad in return. It wasn’t fair. Yuta did so much for her. He bought her presents, spent every bit of free time with her, picked her up with his car whenever she needed to go somewhere, but in the end, all she did was be ungrateful and mean to the Japanese boy. At least that was what Sicheng noticed. Yuta would always brush it off. He genuinely thought that he should work harder to improve their relationship even when she flirted with other guys. He didn’t see why Yuta could fall for her except for her looks and body.
And that was the strange thing. Yuta was intelligent and didn’t seem like the type to go for only looks. So he reasoned that there had to be something about Seulgi that he didn't know, something that had pulled his crush in. Outside his infuriation with Seulgi, Sicheng liked Yuta's personality a lot. He liked his dedication, his undying trust in people and just his bubbly and sometimes sassy character as a whole.
He couldn’t help but think how it would be different if they were together. He didn’t think of himself as perfect. No far from, but at least he would treat Yuta the way he deserved to be treated. And he knew Yuta would treat him the same. He had a feeling that Seulgi was just with Yuta because of his success, good looks and popularity. With the way she acted towards him, Sicheng didn’t really think she cared about him. Not as much as he did.
“Do you- do you think she’s cheating on me?” Yuta suddenly asked. He didn’t like the look of insecurity that had fallen over Yuta’s face. It was so strange because normally Yuta would be the eptitome of confidence. ‘She might be’ crossed Sicheng's mind for a moment, but didn’t say it out loud.
Instead he shook his head. “No hyung, I don’t think so.” Yuta ruffled his hair in response and Sicheng let the feeling wash over him. It felt nice. Everything Yuta did felt nice.
Eventually they took place in a little Italian restaurant that sold cheap, but good quality pasta and pizza. It had become quite the habit for them and Sicheng always looked forward to nights like this a lot.
“So how was your day Winwin?” Yuta asked him after he took a sip from his cola.
“It was great, I bought fish today,” Sicheng said excitingly. Earlier this day he had gone to the pet store to buy three goldfish. Sometimes he just felt lonely and since fish where the only animals that were allowed in their apartment complex, he decided to get some new ‘friends’.
Yuta laughed, a sound that Sicheng had always found nice even when his crush on the other hadn't been as developped as now. “That’s cool. What kind?” Sicheng had to think for a while. He had no idea how they were called in Korean.
“Goldfish…” He said in Mandarin. Then he switched back to Korean. “Uhh… They are orange and very small.”
“Oh! Goldfish,” Yuta said and he nodded. Sicheng quickly fished out a notebook and pen from his bag and Yuta repeated it slowly so that he could write it down, correcting him in a kind manner when he used the wrong hangul characters. His notebook was something very dear to him. Yuta had bought it for him to write down Korean words he didn’t know. And Sicheng was happy that he had to use it less and less these days since his Korean was improving in a rapid pace.
“So what are their names?”
“Nai, Yogi and Gareki," He told him and Yuta’s eyes lit up when he heard the names. “Yay. You finally watched the anime I recommended!” Sicheng nodded happily and their conversation stayed on the topic of anime and series for a while longer.
They quickly finished their food and left the restaurant. When Sicheng checked the time, he noticed that is was nearing ten pm. Time really flies when you’re having fun. Since they lived across from each other, they walked home together quite often. At the moment, the streets were calm and Sicheng was thankful for that. He looked up and watched the stars twinkle above them. He couldn't help but find them very pretty.
“Hey Sicheng,” Yuta started and when Sicheng looked at his friend, there was a serious look in them. “If someone bullies you, you would tell me right?”
Sicheng immediately remembered the first time they met. Back then, Yuta had stuck up for him against a few people calling him names openly. Even though Yuta hadn’t known him at that moment, he had still decided to help him. The name calling hadn’t really stopped, but it had lessened considerably and at least no one dared to do it when Yuta was near. He wasn’t really bullied. It was more ignoring than anything else, something that actually hurt even more.
He shook his head at Yuta. “No everything is okay. I’m just a bit lonely sometimes. But if someone bullies, I will tell you,” he answered truthfully.
Yuta patted his back. “Whenever you feel lonely just send me a message okay.”
“Okay hyung, thank you.”
“Don’t thank me for that, baka.” And with that they fell into a comfortable silence again while walking to their apartments. They soon arrived at Sicheng’s building and came to a halt. The Chinese boy didn't open the door just yet. Instead he turned towards Yuta. He really appreciated Yuta spending time with him despite his busy schedule and social life.
“I really enjoyed today, thank you,” he said with a small smile.
Yuta blinked at him and sent him a smile in return. He scraped the pavement with his foot a few times. “Glad you enjoyed it, I did as well. We should hang out more often.” Sicheng blushed at his friend’s words and he really hoped Yuta couldn’t see it. He hummed in agreement.
They were facing each other, with little space in between, and when suddenly their eyes locked, neither of them moved or said anything. It was dark, except for the lamppost shining its bright yellow light a few meters away from them. Sicheng wanted to avert his gaze, but he found himself unable to do so. Not when Yuta looked at him like that. It was Yuta who eventually broke their little 'moment' and scraped his throat almost awkwardly.
“Well then, see you soon Winwinnie. Good night.” With those words he turned around and walked to this own apartment complex, situated on the backside of Sicheng’s.
The latter quickly entered the complex and he almost ran up the stairs. When he was finally inside his room he slapped his cheeks a few times softly. He shouldn’t imagine things that weren’t there. Yuta had a girlfriend. He, in contrast, was unpopular and on top of that two years younger. He should definitely get the idea out of his head. The originally Japanese boy was probably totally not interested in dating someone younger than him anyway. And he was straight on top of that. Right?
Maybe when Yuta finally finished his study, Sicheng would tell him how he felt. Since they would probably lose contact anyway, he could just get it off his chest that way and wouldn’t be too terribly hurt by Yuta’s rejection. Yuta would forget about him soon and maybe he could move on after that.
Sicheng dumped his bag next to the door and moved towards the fishbowl on his small cupboard. He sprinkled some fish food in the bowl and watched happily, his head leaning on his arms, as the fish swam up to conquer their share of food.
“You’re so cute,” he hummed in Mandarin.
Suddenly his attention shifted from his new goldfish to his phone, when the device vibrated in his pocket. After taking it out and unlocking it, Sicheng looked at the screen.
It was Yuta.
Yuta-hyung: I'm at t he window. And you better write something back this time!
Sicheng’s heart beat a little faster at the message and he held the phone against his chest. Yuta didn’t even know how he made him feel.
They always exchanged written messages through their windows. Since they were neighbors from across the street and his window was practically facing Yuta's, they could see each other just well enough to make out the letters. It had become a habit of theirs to communicate that way and they wrote each other on a daily base about their worries and plans for the day. They had each other’s phone number as well, but what was the fun in that?
When Sicheng walked to his window and looked outside, he saw Yuta looking right at him, behind his own window. Even from afar he could see his smile. Yuta made a gesture that told him to wait and he disappeared for a moment. When he came back he held up a piece of paper with something written on it.
‘Sleep well’
Sicheng was glad that Yuta couldn’t see him blush. It was such a cute message and he quickly retreated to write something back. It ended up being ‘Good night Yuta’, but after debating for a few seconds he wrote an additional little message in Mandarin in the upper right corner. ‘I like you.’
Sicheng knew it was way too small to spot from such a distance, but that was on purpose of course. He felt like an eight grader for actually doing it, but it gave him a little thrill as well. When he showed it to Yuta, the latter smiled again and put his thumbs up. Then he waved and walked away from the window. Sicheng waved back, but kept standing by the glass a little longer to admire the dark night sky.
After another ten minutes he decided that he could use some sleep as well and he closed the grey curtains. After that he let himself fall back on his bed with spread arms, wondering when he would see Yuta again.