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There were days where Charles thought life couldn't get any better, and there were days when he wondered why he even bothered waking up. The reason for his depressed state wasn't because of his condition - which wasn't half as bad as most people would think - it was because of the people who he had lost in the war to save mankind.
He knew things couldn't have ended any other way, not when his way of seeing the world was different than Erik’s. Erik’s was a difficult case, Charles was aware of it when they first met, when he first saw his memories, and felt his pain. He knew why Erik felt as if revenge was the only possible way, hatred was after all one of his earliest memories. After they met each other Charles thought there was hope, that together they could work through his suffering and make him realise there were other ways of living which didn’t involve fighting.
Erik’s decision to leave didn’t surprise Charles, and neither did Raven’s desire to join him. Losing them hurt, far more than Charles expected, but it was the only way, he knew that.
After opening his hope for the other mutants Charles realised just how many were in need for saving and decided it was his quest in life. Since his decision he’d convinced seven mutants to join him, which was more than he expected, but less than he hoped for. They faced challenges and threats, but together they were strong and found ways through the problems.
Time passed and winter was finally upon them. The night was quiet as the snow lay softly on the scenery, like a cold blanket, hiding every imperfection. Winter had always been Charles' favourite season; he loved the late nights in front of the fireplace, reading his favourite books. He also liked how winter was the end of a year, with promises of something new and better the next year.
He didn’t know how long he’d been outside his home when he heard footsteps behind him. His fingers were cold, and he could hardly feel his cheeks, but it hadn’t bothered him at all. Turning he was pleasantly surprised.
“Erik,” he said, wondering what his friend was doing there. He looked the same as he always did, except for the helmet that kept blocking Charles. He must have kept it on at all times because every time Charles tried to reach him he couldn’t.
“Charles,” he replied warmly.
Charles grabbed the wheels on his chair to turn it around. “What are you doing here?” Charles couldn't help looking at the windows of his home, slightly afraid that someone would see Erik and want to hurt him. Technically he was their enemy, but Charlie knew Erik wouldn’t want to harm him, not intentionally.
“I couldn’t sleep, and for some reason I knew you couldn’t either.” Charles smiled. They hadn’t known each other for long, but they’ve become good friends.
“That’s because you know me well,” Charles replied, smiling softly at the man who he once hoped he could save. He still hoped he could one day, even if he knew it was impossible; Erik was determined to stand on his own legs, and all Charles could do was make sure to keep him out of too much trouble.
Erik was quiet, his eyes scanning Charles’ body, lingering on the chair. “You shouldn’t feel bad about it, it was an accident.”
“Which I was a part of,” Erik finished. Charles shook his head, his smile never faltering. “I know you don’t want me to feel bad, but this will be something I won’t easily put behind me.”
“Guilt is funny, don’t you think? You feel guilty for my new condition, but not for the lives you planned to take with those bombs. The only difference between me and those men on the ships is that you know me.”
“Why should I show them mercy when they showed us none?” Charles knew making Erik see his point was not easy, not when his mind was parted about men and mutants. “If you want to argue about men then I should go, I doubt we’ll see eye to eye on this matter and I’m not willing to ruin Christmas by arguing.”
“You’re right, there’s no point talking about this tonight.” Charles hoped one day Erik would change. “So the only reason you’re here is because you thought I would be here?” Erik pushed his fists into his jacket, his nose was slightly red, and the helmet was probably ice cold. “It can’t be comfortable wearing a metal helmet in this cold, why don’t you take it off?” The look Erik gave Charles was more than enough for Charles, and he didn’t need to read Erik’s mind in order to know what he was thinking. “I promise on my life that I won’t enter your mind.” Erik still looked sceptical, but he gave in.
“You better keep your promise,” he warned, slowly lifting off the helmet and keeping it under his arm. “And I didn’t think you were here, I knew you’d be here.”
“Oh, how so?”
“You might be a futuristic man, and a mutant, but you like to hold on to the past. Today is a special day so while most people will sit and wonder what Santa brought them, you’ll think of everything you don’t have, like Raven, and me.”
Charles nodded slowly, Erik was close to the reason why he found himself sitting in the snow. “And you’re here because it’s a special day and you have lost a special friend.”
“Special isn’t the right word.” Charles looked at Erik, wondering what he meant. His expression calm, unreadable. Charles fought the temptation to take a peek into Erik’s mind, he didn’t want to break a promise. “Special isn’t close to the word I’d use to describe you, extraordinary, one of a kind, my only good friend in the world.”
“What about Raven?” Charles asked, pretending like Erik's speech hadn’t affected him much. He was glad Erik felt that way about him, he felt the same about Erik, but letting Erik know his feelings were mutual so soon was like giving the enemy all the ammunition.
“You know her, she loves the idea of being accepted, she loves the man who accepts her, but she’s blind to his faults.”
“So you’ve come to the one person that cares for you even with your many faults?”
“It seems so. Will you turn your back to me now that you know why I’m here?” Charles stared at Erik’s body as he stood in front of him.
“I could never turn my back on you,” Charles smiled, knowing Erik would be crushed if he believed Charles didn’t want to see him any longer. Those who didn’t know the real Erik would say he was strong, but Charles knew deep down Erik longed for true friends, like Charles. “From this angle you look pretty fierce,” Charles noted with a smile.
Erik didn’t say anything, instead he lifted his hand; Charles felt his body rise until he was once again standing, or as close to standing as he could. He could see the sadness in Erik’s eyes, and he didn’t have to enter his mind to know what caused the feeling.
“So, what do you want to do before you return to your evil lair in a hidden cave?”
“I don’t live in a cave,” Erik said amused.
“How should I know, I’m not an evil genius.” They both laughed. “So where do you live?”
“Currently in Shaw’s home, seeing as he doesn’t need it I didn’t see the harm in adopting it.” Charles avoided telling Erik his thoughts, it was not his place to tell his friend what he could or couldn’t do, and he was right, Shaw didn’t need it any longer. “But I didn’t come to discuss living arrangements.”
“I thought you came to feel accepted,” Charles teased. Erik smiled and offered Charles his hand, Charles stared at it for two seconds before accepting it. It was warm and comforting, reminding Charles about their times together as they searched for other mutants.
“Amongst other things.” Their eyes met, and for a moment Charles thought he could see all of Erik’s thoughts. It was just an illusion of course, he promised his friend he wouldn’t enter his mind. Erik pulled Charles closer, his feet tearing through the snow as he couldn’t lift them.
Erik pulled Charles into his arms, sharing his warmth. Charles smiled softly and looked up at his dear friend. He knew that one day the space between them would grow so big that it would probably turn them into enemies; and as much as the thought saddened Charles, he decided not to think about it while they could still speak as friends.
“I’ve really missed you,” Charles admitted. Erik didn’t say it back; instead he smiled and leaned down to kiss Charles. The kiss was one thing that hadn’t changed, and it was one thing Charles had missed the most since Erik left. It wasn’t the most intimate moment they’ve had, but Charles loved every second of it.
When the kiss had come to an end neither one released the other. Charles wished he could invite Erik into his room, but it was a dangerous thing to do.
“Can I give you a Christmas present,” Charles asked.
“Of course.”
“It’s not like any normal gifts; it’s a memory, so if you want it you must grant me permission to enter your mind.” Erik eyes him suspiciously.
“How can I be sure you won’t go snooping around my mind in search for information I might possess?”
“If I wanted to I would have already gotten that information, without your knowledge, but I promised.” Erik still didn’t look convinced, but eventually nodded in agreement.
Resting his fingers against Erik’s temple, Charles closed his eyes and searched for an early memory which Erik had forgotten, a memory which he used as a safe passage when he was held prisoner when he was a boy. It was a sweet memory of him and his parents bathing in a lake a fine summer day, Erik was young, and happy, the fitting gift.
When the memory ended Charles opened his eyes and smiled at Erik whose eyes were red. “Merry Christmas,” he said softly, kissing Erik once more.
The second kiss ended and Charles was returned to his chair. He wouldn’t have minded it much if Erik wasn’t ignoring him, almost as if he was afraid of something.
“I better go,” Erik said once Charles was safe in his chair.
“Erik,” he called after his friend, but Erik didn’t respond. “Erik!” he tried again, still no response. It was difficult watching Erik walk away as if something bad happened, and as he walked away, the helmet still under his arm, Charles was tempted to enter his mind and find out exactly what bothered him, but he promised.
As he sat all alone outside his home he wondered if he shouldn’t have given Erik that memory, if it triggered some bad memory of some sorts, but it was done and all he could do was hope for the best. Gripping the wheels of his chair he slowly made his way through the snow, wishing he’d asked some of the kids to use their powers and clean a path around the school.
“Goodbye,” he whispered into the dark, knowing they would see each other again one day, even if it was under other circumstances.