Work Text:
Harry let out a heavy sigh as he tilted his head back to rest against the train seat. He stared out the window of the train and took in the fast moving county side for a moment before he closed his eyes; he felt exhausted.
It had been three years since he left Wilkes-Barre on a train similar to this one, filled with young men in uniform who were ready to fight in a war without a second thought. As Harry stared at the few servicemen who sat around the train, he couldn’t help but think about all the young men who never got to take this journey back to their homes.
“Oh, fuck,” Harry sighed as hunched over his knees and rubbed his face furiously with his hands.
He was less than an hour from his home; he did not need to feel this wound up before he got there. He had watched as soldier after soldier departed from the train and reunited with family members, how some broke down completely and how some families were completely unprepared for the shit show of emotions that the soldiers brought back home.
Harry closed his eyes again and thought of Kitty. How her soft blond hair curled and how her green eyes twinkled whenever she laughed, usually at something stupid he did but he didn’t care because he got to see her smile. He felt his heart skip a beat as he thought to Kitty’s smile, how no matter how many times he had seen that smile over the years, he would never get tired with seeing it. It always made him feel warm and happy and it always just seemed to fix everything and anything that was wrong.
One smile from her and everything… everything will be just fine, Harry told himself as his mind began to wander to a different time in a different country where smiles were few and far between.
Harry glanced out the window and felt his heart stop for a moment when the edge of the town began to appear. He was home. After three long years, he was finally home again; he’d finally see Kitty again.
Feeling suddenly panicked, he checked the time on his watch and saw that the train was in fact a little ahead of schedule. He had written a letter to Kitty and told her the time and date of his train back home and while Kitty had never let him down before in all the time he’d known her, Harry felt momentarily worried that she wouldn’t be there at the station waiting for him.
She’ll be there, idiot, he told himself as he took in a deep breath before he let it out slowly. Just fucking relax.
Harry gripped his hands tightly in an attempt to keep his nerves and emotions in check but he found that it did little to ease himself into the reality that he would be seeing Kitty again very soon.
Not just see her, you’ll get to stay with her, Harry reminded himself. Get married. Make babies. Live happily ever after.
A wide grin came to Harry’s face as he thought about everything the next couple of months would bring. He and Kitty were set to get married; she had been writing him about the progress of their wedding plans and how the silk from his reserve chute had made a lovely wedding dress and really he just wished he could get married to her the second he got off of the train, not a month from now. He wanted to spend every day with her and every night with her and start a family with her. Kitty was his everything and if there was one thing he was grateful for in this world it was her.
Harry was broken from his happy thoughts as the train began to slow down as it neared the station. Just as quick as the flip of a switch, Harry felt his nerves go through the roof.
Oh god…
He felt his smile falter before it slipped completely from his face. He wasn’t ready. God, did he want to see his Kitty again but damn he was not prepared for this yet. Harry took calming breaths as he tried to keep calm and look normal but he knew that Kitty would tell that something was up the second she saw him.
Don’t let her worry about you, he told himself as he tried to force a calm expression on his face. He thought about all the families he had watched as they reunited; some soldiers managed to hold it together while others did not. He didn’t want to upset her because he couldn’t keep his shit together.
The train finally screeched to a halt and as most of the passengers stood up and collected their belongings, Harry looked out the window and looked for Kitty’s familiar form. After a moment, he gave up, unable to make out her tiny form in the mass of people moving about the train platform. Letting out a long sigh, Harry stood up, collected his belongings, and began to exit the train. Once off of the train, Harry began scanning the crowd. He watched out of the corners of his eyes as families reunited and turned away whenever he heard a soldier break down. As the minutes passed, he began to panic. Surely Kitty was here. She promised him that she would be there and she had never let him down before.
“Kitty?” he called out, although he knew that she probably couldn’t hear him over the crowd and the train. “Kitty?”
He stopped in the middle of a crowd and turned around in a circle while his eyes searched all over for her curly blond hair, her bright green eyes, her smile, his ears strained to hear her voice, her laugh, anything.
“Kitty?!”
“Harry?”
Harry spun around so fast he almost lost his footing and fell onto the ground. He didn’t care though, because now he could see through the parting crowd Kitty looking around, blond hair held back, green eyes wide and searching. She looked beautiful as always and Harry thought his heart was going to leap out of his chest.
Pushing forward through the crowd, Harry called out to her again. Kitty turned and caught sight of him. His heart swelled at the look that came to her face as she began to run toward him, tears welling in her eyes.
Keep it together, Harry.
“Kitty!” Harry called out as he quickly took in her appearance; she looked happy and whole and healthy. She was okay.
“Harry!” Kitty yelled as she rushed forward and threw her arms around his neck.
Kitty.
Harry wrapped his arms around her waist, ran his fingers through her curly locks, breathed in her familiar scent, felt her warmth against him, and all the barriers he had tried to build up on the train ride here, all the reminders he told himself to keep it together, to not make a scene in such a public place, they all crumbled and burned and shattered. He felt himself completely break down in her arms, tears flowed freely from his eyes, loud sobs sounded from his mouth, and he gripped onto Kitty as tight as he could, as if he were frightened she was disappear suddenly, leaving him alone again.
“Oh, Harry,” she whispered comfortingly as she tightened her grip on him and began gently stroking his hair. “Shh, honey, it’s alright.”
Harry nodded his head but couldn’t find it in him to stop. He only held her tighter as he buried his face in her neck. He squeezed his eyes shut and thought of how long it had been since he saw her, since he heard her voice, held her in his arms. He thought about all the times overseas when she was on the forefront of his mind; when he sent her the reserve parachute, telling her the silk would make a nice dress, whenever there was a moment of quiet between shellings and he thought of her to comfort him, how when Harry was given the option to go home in Austria he took it without a second thought, only thinking of Kitty and coming home to her at last.
“Kitty…” he managed to let in between sobs.
“Harry, it’s okay, it’s okay,” she whispered as he kissed his cheek gently.
“I’ve- just- missed- you- so- much,” he choked out choppily, uncaring that his broken voice carried and that they were most likely attraction attention.
“Oh, I’ve missed you too, Harry,” Kitty cried. “I thought about you all the time.”
“I- love- you- so- much,” Harry sobbed loudly as he attempted to hug his fiancé even tighter.
“I love you too, Harry,” Kitty said before she managed to loosen Harry’s grip on her enough so that she could kiss him.
Harry smiled through his tears and let out something that was half sob, half laugh. Kitty let out a small laugh before she kissed him again as silent tears ran down her own face. Another loud sob escaped from Harry as Kitty broke away again but as he took in a deep breath in an attempt to get himself under control his breath came out jerky and uncontrollable. He gasped and gasped for air but couldn’t seem to get his breathing under control. With every jerk inhalation he seemed to lose more and more control over himself.
What the hell is wrong with me?
“Shh, shh, Harry, it’s okay,” Kitty whispered as she ran her fingers through his hair. “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be just fine.”
Harry let out a sob while he hyperventilated into her shoulder and shook his head, because no, this didn’t feel okay and he wasn’t sure if everything or anything was going to be fine.
At least you have her, Harry reminded himself.
“Come on, let’s get you home,” Kitty said as she placed a comforting hand on his back and began to lead him away from the train platform. “Everyone’s waiting to see you.”
Harry shook his head again because no, he didn’t want his entire family to see him like this. He wanted to at least regain the ability to breathe normally and to stop crying before he had to face anyone else. Kitty seemed to understand what he meant because she nodded before she said, “They’re not waiting at home. I told them I’d call them when you were ready to see them.”
Harry wanted to kiss her again, because damn was she just the most perfect woman he could ask for or what. Harry climbed into an unfamiliar car and leaned back in the seat as he tried to take deep breaths; he was feeling a little better but nowhere near back to normal.
“Since when do you drive?” Harry managed to choke out between ragged breaths.
“All the men gone, gotta be self-reliant,” Kitty said with a smile as she started up the car. “It’s pop’s. He lets me borrow it when I need to get somewhere out of the way. Now let’s get you home where you can rest up, okay?”
“Okay,” he sniffed, feeling like a child.
Harry closed his eyes and tried to focus on the soft music coming from the crackling car radio. He didn’t open his eyes when Kitty’s hand rested on top of his but he squeezed it back in return, desperate to not let go of her.
Fifteen minutes later and Kitty was pulling the car into the driveway of house Harry didn’t recognize. Kitty’s father had bought it for them to live in as an early wedding present while he was away. It was two stories, had white siding, blue shudders, and there was a swing on the porch. There were flowers planted around the house but the lawn needed to be cut; he’d get around to that soon.
“Do you like it?” Kitty asked nervously as she got out of the car.
“I love it,” Harry said honestly with a smile as he wiped at a stray tear that was working its way down his face.
“Come on,” Kitty said as she reached out for his hand and together they walked up the stairs of the house and went inside.
Inside the house, nothing was familiar. There was new furniture, different colored walls from than his old home; it was a little jarring to Harry, who in the back of his mind had expected his old home on the other side of town. But this was his new home, he had to remember, and new wasn’t always bad. This would be where he started his life with Kitty.
“Here, lay down on the couch,” Kitty instructed gently as she led Harry to the new, soft couch.
Harry curled up on his side, closed his eyes, and focused on bringing his breathing back to normal. He felt Kitty’s eyes on him but he didn’t open his eyes yet; he needed to focus on calming the fuck down.
“I’m gonna go get you something to drink,” Kitty said as she ran her thin fingers through his hair.
“No, wait,” Harry cried out as he opened his eyes and gripped onto Kitty’s wrist. He looked up at her as she looked down at him with worried eyes. “Can you… can you just stay here with me? I think, I think that’ll make me feel better.”
“Of course, sweetie,” she said quietly before she settled on the edge of the couch and let Harry rest his head in her lap. “Whatever it is that you need.”
“I just need you,” he whispered into her lap.
“Well you have me. I’m not going anywhere.”
Harry nodded weakly and closed his eyes once again as Kitty began to run her fingers through his hair again. If the sensation of her fingers in his hair wasn’t enough, the calming sound of her soft singing voice was. Kitty sang songs from their childhood, calming nursery rhymes, and newer songs he had heard played on the radio. It calmed him. After some time, Harry began to calm down and felt himself being tugged into unconsciousness. Before he felt himself drift off completely, Harry tightened his slacked grip on Kitty’s hand and mumbled into her lap, “I’m glad to be home.”
“I’m glad you’re home too,” Kitty whispered as she ran her fingers through his curls. “Now go to sleep. I’ll still be here when you wake up. I promise.”
Harry wanted to keep talking, but he knew it would be impossible now that he was about to fall into a deep sleep. He wanted to tell Kitty that when he talked of home, he meant her. She was all the home he ever would need. This new house in his old town didn’t matter, what mattered was that he had her by his side. As Kitty’s soft voice lulled him to sleep, he knew, deep down, that it would take more than a couple of songs and strokes of the hair to become completely better. However, Harry knew that as long as he had Kitty at his side, he’d make it through whatever else life had to throw at him.