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“Hello, hello! It’s a big, big, big day everyone!”
Katniss sighed deeply as Snow’s executive secretary Effie Trinket walked into the vast office space, her high pitched, crooning voice bouncing off of the utilitarian cubes and echoing in the long, low ceilinged room, reminding her of the screech of howler monkeys in a shit throwing frenzy.
“Come now, everyone out of their cubicles. We need to draw names for the annual Employee Gift Exchange!”
Yeah, there was nothing like a mandatory gift exchange with people you didn’t know and didn’t really care to know. Merry freaking Christmas! Setting aside the folder that contained every detail of the miserable project she’d been assigned to work on, Katniss rose, smoothing down her serviceable black serge skirt before stepping out into the tiny walkway between the cubes. Her fellow worker drones filled the tiny space, all of them making their way to the end of the long room and institutional ugliness that made up the employee cafeteria.
“Lucky us,” Johanna Mason said softly as she fell into step beside Katniss.
“Shh,” Katniss hissed, glancing over her shoulder. Luckily, Effie was out of earshot, herding the stragglers out into the small walkway. She might look like fluff and no substance, but she could be downright steely and vindictive when she thought people weren’t following her orders and the last thing Katniss needed or wanted was to lose her position over inter-office politics. “You know better than to mock the party line,” she whispered as they walked into the cafeteria.
Johanna shrugged and led the way towards a table in the back where a tall, bronze haired man was lounging in one of the chairs. Katniss followed her slowly, sinking down onto the edge of one of the plastic chairs as Johanna pulled the one out next to Finnick.
He looked over at them, a teasing smile tugging at his lips. “Ladies, welcome to paradise.”
Johanna elbowed him and he laughed, stretching his arm up and waving at someone behind Katniss. Her stomach clenched when a stocky, blond man walked by the table, sliding into the chair on the other side of Finnick. No, not him. Her eyes darted to his face and she looked away just as quickly as his blue eyes met hers.
“Peeta, nice to see that they let you out of the basement once in a while,” Finnick said as he sat up, clapping the other man on the back.
“Effie was insistent,” Peeta said with a smile. “She wants everyone to participate in this big, big, BIG event.” He pitched his voice to imitate Effie’s nasally twang. Finnick and Johanna began to laugh. Katniss felt her lips twitch, but her stomach was roiling too much for her to really enjoy the joke. Peeta Mellark, son of the baker from her hometown, was her Achilles heel and had been for a very long time. She’d never told anyone about the boy that had brought bread to the orphanage where she’d grown up. It was the only treat she’d had in an otherwise barren existence. She’d never imagined that as an adult, they’d meet up again, working at the same company three states away from where they’d grown up.
“Hullo Katniss.”
Peeta’s soft voice drew her attention to him and as their eyes met once more, her stomach fluttered, filling with butterflies. “Hello Peeta,” she said quietly, dropping her gaze to her hands. She could feel Johanna’s eyes on her and her cheeks began to heat. Luckily, Effie chose that moment to clap loudly, halting all conversation in the room.
“Welcome, Welcome! Today is a big, big, big day!” Effie scanned the room, her eagle gaze landing every so often, the recipient squirming beneath her intense stare. “As I’m certain you’re all aware, Panem Industries and Mr. Snow in particular, take Christmas very seriously. To that end, we hold an annual Christmas Exchange for our employees, bringing together everyone across each district of the company into one big, happy family.
A pair of employees dressed all in red rolled in two large bowls, filled to the brim with white paper slips. Effie strode over to the one on the left, running her long fingernails up the clear glass of the bowl, making most of the audience wince at the sound. “Please form two lines, and we’ll begin drawing names.”
The only sound in the room was the scraping back of chairs as hundreds of employees rose from the chairs and slowly filed into two snaking lines in front of each of the bowls. Effie stood between them, supervising, her eagle gaze missing nothing. Two by two, the employees drew names and shuffled back to the tables. The low buzz of conversation filled the room. Katniss stood in the left hand line, right behind Johanna. Peeta and Finnick had queued up in the right line, just across from them. Katniss could feel Peeta watching her and it made her more clumsy than normal. She nearly tripped into Johanna and only the other girl’s quick reflexes kept them from going down.
“What is wrong with you?” Johanna hissed, squeezing Katniss’ arm tightly.
“Sorry,” she mumbled, feeling the fiery heat of embarrassment burn her cheeks. The line queued forward once more and before she was ready, she was standing in front of the big glass bowl. Effie stared at her and Katniss slowly lifted her hand, dropping it into the bowl and grabbing the first slip her hand came into contact with. Pulling it out, she stuffed the slip into her pocket and hurried back to where Johanna was already waiting, her slip sitting in front of her on the table.
Sitting down, she glanced over at the other side of the table, watching as Peeta slid into his chair. Their eyes met once more and it felt like an electric shock ran through her. Heat sizzled along her nerve endings and she very nearly gasped as the sensation settled between her thighs. Clenching her legs, she dropped her gaze to the table, feeling the fiery prickle of a blush creeping up her cheeks.
Johanna leaned forward, but luckily for Katniss, Effie chose that moment to clap, quieting the soft murmur that had filled the room.
“Now that you have chosen your recipient, you have two weeks to purchase your gift. The spending limit is twenty dollars. You will need to bring your wrapped gift to the Holiday party in two weeks where we will exchange them.” Her voice pitched impossibly higher. “Remember, this is a surprise!”
Johanna snorted under her breath and opened her slip. “No one I know, of course.”
Finnick unrolled his slip and shrugged. “Same here.”
Johanna glanced over at Katniss, lifting her brow. Katniss sighed and opened her slip. It nearly fell from her fingers as she read the neatly printed name. Peeta Mellark. It couldn’t be! Fate wouldn’t be this cruel, would it? How, out of all the hundreds of names in the bowls did she manage to snag his? Her gaze darted up, across the table, meeting wide blue eyes. He smiled and it nearly undid her. Heat furled in her belly and her lips twitched, one side curving up just slightly. Beside her, Johanna nudged her shoulder, drawing her out of her reverie. “Well?”
Katniss sighed as reality set back in, folding the slip closed and tucking it into the pocket of her plain black skirt. Just because she drew his name didn’t mean that her life was going to change, it just meant that she’d buy him a present and the rest would stay the same. “Someone in the art department.”
“Peeta?” Katniss darted her gaze across the table as Finnick leaned closer to his friend. Peeta closed his strip and shook his head. Katniss could feel Johanna staring at her, frank curiosity on her face. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to relax, smoothing her features into the blank mask she normally wore at the office.
Effie’s voice filled the room once more. “Thank you everyone; you may now return to your desks.”
~*~
“So, what’s the deal Everdeen?”
Katniss stared up to where Johanna leaned against the wall of her cubicle. “What?”
Johanna snorted and pushed up off of the flimsy wall. She walked into the tiny space, forcing Katniss backwards as she perched on the edge of the desk. “Really? That’s how you want to play it?”
Katniss felt her cheeks heat and she pasted a bland smile on her face, scooting back up to the desk and gathering her papers to buy some time to get her emotions under control. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Johanna laughed. “I’ve known you for a year now and you showed more emotion this afternoon than I’ve ever seen you show, even when Snow is on a rampage. It was Peeta, that brought that out, wasn’t it?”
Katniss glanced up. “Who?” Her hands were shaking and she gripped the papers tighter to hide it.
Johanna leaned closer, a wide grin curving her lips. “Go ahead, play coy, but you’ll tell me eventually.” She stood up and shrugged. “You won’t be able to help yourself,” she said as she walked out of the small space.
Katniss sighed and slumped back in her chair. Johanna was wrong. If there was one thing Katniss knew how to do, it was keep a secret. You didn’t grow up in District Twelve Foundling Home and not learn to hold everything close. If no one knew anything, no one could use it against you. No, this was yet another secret she’d take to her grave.
~*~
From that day on, it felt like every time she turned around, she saw Peeta. He was in the lunchroom, sitting with Johanna and Finnick, or was walking through the halls and passing her cubicle. She even saw him on the bus on the way home, sitting two seats down from her usual spot.
She knew he volunteered at the Y where she taught archery, but their paths had never really crossed until today. As she reached for the door, a hand grabbed it, opening it wider. Craning her neck, she glanced over to see who it was, her heart leaping into her throat as her eyes met a pair of deep blue eyes staring back.
“Hullo, Katniss,” he said softly, a gentle smile tugging at his lips.
“P-Peeta,” she stammered, every thought in her head disappearing as the setting sun caught his eyelashes, making each one look like shimmering gold.
“After you,” he said, gesturing for her to precede him.
“Thank you,” she replied, her voice barely loud enough to be heard. Her heart was thumping so hard in her chest that she was shocked that he couldn’t hear it.
“Anytime,” he said, smile widening. “Have fun with your class.”
“You too,” she said softly as he walked down the opposite hallway towards where the small classrooms were.
Her traitorous heart filled her head with images of how different her life could be if she had someone like him in it - a kind, generous man that would ease the crushing loneliness that had become her life. A happy home filled with laughter and joy, someplace she wanted to come home to instead of the four bare walls of her tiny efficiency apartment in the city. From the second she’d drawn his name from the bowl, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. What he did when he went home from work, if he had someone special in his life. But if she asked Johanna she’d be in for an intense round of questions that she wasn’t ready to answer. Hell, she only admitted it to herself in the dark of her tiny apartment when there was no one around to see. It was then that she wondered if he thought of her also – wondered the same things she did. It was that thought that got her through the long, cold night and when the sun rose, cold realism set in once again, banishing the dreams and desires.
~*~
Katniss set the small, gaily wrapped gift on her desk. She’d agonized endlessly over what to get him. It had to be something that wouldn’t give away her awkward feelings, yet be personal enough to be a gift that would make him smile. At first, she’d had no idea what to even get him, but one of the girls in her archery class also took art class from Peeta and a casual remark from her one day at practice had set Katniss’ mind racing, the tiny kernel of an idea brewing until it’d been all she could think about. The idea had grown and now she had two gifts, one she could give him in public and the other that she would leave for him in his classroom, to be opened in private, should she find the nerve to gift it to him.
Johanna sauntered by her desk, stopped abruptly and took two steps backwards until she could see directly into Katniss’ cubicle. “What’d you get?”
Katniss shrugged. “Picked up some paints and markers, since the person I got is in the art department.”
“Lovely,” Johanna said and snorted. “Bath salts,” she said as she shook the cylindrical package in her hands that had been wrapped in plain brown paper. A forlorn looking sage green bow adorned the package.
“I’d use those,” Katniss said, lifting the heavy file that had been placed back on her desk last night after a review by management. There were about a million sticky notes hanging out of the large stack of papers and she sighed inwardly as she resolutely opened the folder and began scanning the first page. Joy, another day of dreary paperwork.
“Maybe you’ll get some,” Johanna said with a smirk, waving as she walked further down the hall to her own miniscule cubicle.
“Maybe,” Katniss said under her breath as she settled her fingers on her keyboard. Losing herself in the pile of work she had to do would definitely keep her mind off of the gift exchange later this afternoon.
~*~
“Welcome, welcome, welcome! Come in everyone!”
Effie stood in the front of the room and clapped loudly as the employees of Panem Industries filed into the lunchroom, wrapped packages in hand. Katniss shuffled behind Johanna, her gaze darting nervously around the room. The back of her neck prickled and she lifted her head just in time to meet Peeta’s deep blue eyes.
Johanna nudged her arm, pointing towards a small table in the back where Finnick was sitting. Katniss obediently shuffled towards the table, her hands clenching tightly around the gift she held. Peeta was sprawled in the chair next to Finnick, his gaze locked firmly on her face. On the table in front of him was a perfectly wrapped package in gold paper with masses of green curling ribbon spilling out from beneath the hand tied green and gold bow.
“Ready for the big show?” Finnick asked as they sat down.
“You mean smile for the cameras and all that jazz?” Johanna said snidely, tossing her gift down onto the table. “Oh sure.”
“Now Jo, remember it’s a big, big, big day!” Finnick said, laughing.
Another round of sharp claps brought the milling conversations in the room to a halt as Effie paced the front of the room. “Please write your name on the tags in front of you and put them on. Once everyone has a name tag on, please find your recipient and exchange the gift.”
The scraping of chairs and pens scratching across nametags was the only sound in the room for several long minutes. Katniss sat in her chair, wringing her hands in her lap as Peeta rose from his chair and began walking away. When he disappeared into the crowd, she pushed back her chair and rose, clutching Peeta’s gift in her hands. As she wandered through the throng, she searched for the gilt of his hair.
Finally, she thought she saw him across the room. Screwing up her courage, she pushed her way through the crowd but when she got to where she’d seen him; there was no sight of him. Her shoulders slumped and she sighed, turning back around and nearly plowing into a broad chest. Warm hands closed around her upper arms, holding her steady. Lifting her head, a smile curved her lips as Peeta stared down at her. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Katniss said softly. As his hands uncurled from her arms, she felt the loss keenly. He stepped back and grinned down at her, holding out the gold wrapped present that she’d seen on the table towards her.
She laughed and held her present out towards him. “We drew each other?”
They exchanged gifts and he nodded towards their table. “Do you want to go sit down?”
Katniss nodded and followed him through the crowd. When they got to the table, he pulled out the chair for her and waited until she sat down before taking the one next to her.
“You first,” he said, gesturing to the long, flat box.
Katniss smiled, carefully taking the bow off so as not to rip the paper. Setting it on the table, she turned the package over and slid her finger beneath the seam, pulling it carefully apart. The paper unfolded away from the box, slowly revealing the red hair and green velvet gown of Merida, the archer Disney princess. Lifting her gaze to his, she frowned slightly. “How did you know this movie was one of my favorites?”
Peeta leaned forward. “I didn’t know. I got her for you because you’re an archer, and also because of the message of the movie. Merida reminds me of you." Grasping her hand, he lightly cleared his throat. “You’re brave, Katniss, just like Merida.”
She shook her head, fighting back tears. He sat back, waiting until she was back in control of her emotions, cradling the gift she’d given him in his hands. “Open it,” she said, watching him. Her gaze lingered on his long fingers, carefully pulling apart the gaily printed paper, smoothing over the paperboard box of pastel oil crayons that she’d gotten him. “Rue mentioned that you wanted to try them,” she said hesitantly when he lifted the lid off of the package and stared down at the vibrantly colored sticks that lay nestled in the box.
“I do,” he said, carefully setting the lid back on the box before glancing up at her. “Thank you for such a thoughtful gift.”
A smile tugged at her lips. “You’re welcome, and thank you again for the Merida doll, I really do love it.”
He smiled and leaned closer again just as Johanna and Finnick returned to the table, flopping down heavily into the cheap chairs surrounding the table. Johanna tossed a small package onto the table in front of her and glanced over at the doll Katniss still clutched. “Someone got you a Barbie?”
Katniss shook her head, holding it up for them to see. “Merida, she’s a collector doll.”
“Who gave you that, Katniss?” Finnick asked, leaning forward and planting his elbows on the table.
She glanced over at Peeta and gave him a shy smile. “Peeta did.”
Peeta held up the box of oil pastels. “We drew each other, how crazy is that?”
Johanna narrowed her eyes and lifted a brow. Katniss shrugged lightly.
~*~
Katniss gathered her things, tucking the Merida doll into her bag with a smile. Thankfully Johanna had been called into a last minute meeting, sparing Katniss the grilling that she knew was coming. Slipping her arms into her coat, she pulled her bag onto her shoulder and made her way out of cube land towards the front doors of the suite, joining the rest of the throng leaving for the day.
The sun was still barely hanging on, but the wind had picked up and it was bitter cold as she stood in line for the bus. When it finally wheezed to a stop, Katniss hurried aboard, sitting down in one of the seats along the windows. Moments later a warm body slid in next to her. A soft cough garnered her attention and she turned to see Peeta sitting next to her, his large messenger bag held tightly on his lap.
“It’s cold out there today,” he said conversationally as the bus moved back into traffic, jolting her hard against him.
“It is,” Katniss said, her mind blanking. Small talk was so NOT her forte.
“Do you have time for a quick cup of coffee before your class?”
Her eyes widened. Did he just ask her out? Her heart fluttered madly in her chest as butterflies erupted in her stomach. Not trusting herself to speak, she nodded.
Peeta grinned widely. “Good, there’s a place really close to the Y that has amazing hot chocolate.”
Katniss nodded. She’d passed the Beanery every day for the past month since it’d opened. “I’ve been dying to try that place; it smells heavenly when I walk by.”
“It’s a date then,” he said, winking.
Her heart thumped even more madly and she couldn’t keep a stupid grin from creeping onto her face. They rode silently through the rest of the stops, a flush of heat spilling through her every time they bumped together.
~*~
Peeta led her to a small booth in the corner before going back up to the counter to retrieve their drinks. He carefully set her dark chocolate raspberry mocha in front of her before settling across from her with his own steaming mocha. Katniss wrapped her hands around the insulated paper cup, feeling the warmth of the coffee seeping into her cold hands. Suddenly shy, she dropped her gaze to the table in front of her.
Peeta reached across the table, running his index finger along the top of her hand. “Katniss, I had another gift for you,” he said softly. “But it was too personal and I didn’t know…”
She looked up as he rustled in his bag, pulling out a small wrapped square that he slid across the table to her. Setting aside her coffee, she pulled the small gift closer, unwrapping it as carefully as she had the first gift he’d given her. When the paper parted, revealing a painting, she gasped, tears filling her eyes. The painting was of the woods around the town they’d grown up in, thick with foliage and the silver ribbon of the river running through it. At the top of the small hill he’d painted a silhouette of a man and a girl walking along the path.
Her head lifted, meeting his gaze once more, tears spilling freely down her cheeks. “How did you know?”
He smiled gently. “The reason that my father and I delivered bread to the orphanage was because of your dad. He used to come into the bakery every Sunday.”
“Cheese buns,” she said, taking a deep, hiccupping breath.
Peeta nodded. “And after he passed, Dad and I knew that we had to do something, we couldn’t let you be in that place without knowing someone cared.”
Hope uncurled in her belly, furling out and filling her with a peace that she hadn’t known since her father had passed away when she was six. She leaned over, reaching into her bag to pull out an envelope. When she straightened, she slid it over to him. “You aren’t the only one who didn't know whether or not to give you something else.”
Peeta’s gaze darted between her face and the envelope. “What?”
“Open it,” she said softly.
He nodded and opened the envelope, pulling out a folded letter. He unfolded it and began to read, a wide smile creeping onto his face. When he was done, he looked back up at her. “Flour of the month club?”
She nodded, laughing brightly. Her expression sobered quickly. “Your bread and the fact that you cared enough to bring it was the only thing that made that place livable. Just knowing that someone cared enough to make sure we had something decent once a month… it… it helped me get through the bad times.” She took another deep, shuddering breath. “And, I wasn’t sure if you still baked, but…”
Peeta dropped the letter onto the table and reached for her hand, curling his fingers around hers. “We’re really stupid, you know that?”
Katniss frowned at him. “Why?”
He laughed. “We’ve both been here for months and never spoken more than two words to each other.” His smile faded and he stared into her eyes. “I like you Katniss, I always have.”
“Oh,” she said, biting her lip gently. “I…I like you too, Peeta.”
His smile returned, nearly taking over his whole face. He lifted his cup with his free hand. “Then let’s make a toast, to new beginnings.”
She smiled in return, lifting her cup and tapping it gently against his. “To new beginnings.” As they both drank, she felt like the world had just been handed to her, and much like Merida, she’d been given a second chance - a chance to find the life that she’d dreamed about.