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2017-06-02
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Soft Serve and Soul Searching

Summary:

Tuesday's are good days to question your sexuality.

Notes:

Happy pride month, everybody!!! I decided at like eight pm to write a little something for the start of LGBT pride month so enjoy this little one shot of Evan discovering his gayness.

(Also screw what ao3 says, I posted this June 1st)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It was only a Tuesday, but Evan was already done with the week. As he looked around the bustling school, he wondered if everyone else felt as tired as he did. Senioritis had hit him harder than he'd originally expected. I mean, he was a good student, got straight A's (except in AP Spanish Language where most of their grade depended on presentations which everyone in school knew he was terrible with) and never procrastinated, always having an abundance of study time due to his sheer lack of friends. But he was really struggling to stay motivated when graduation was in less than two weeks and he already knew he was just gonna take a gap year to save up for college.

 

Evan thought of nothing but his nice, comfy bed just sitting at home, waiting for him as he trudged to his locker. He got out the books he'd need for the day then made his way to English class.

 

Maybe it was how checked out of school he already was, or possibly how his thoughts only seemed to be on images of his laptop and bed, but Evan was 100% not focusing on where he was walking. Which happened to be into something. Someone.

 

Evan was jolted from his thoughts as he ran into a student, causing all his books to drop from his grasp like in those cliche high school movies. Only this wasn't a bad representation of high school life displayed in the media, it was Evan's real life. And right now, he kind of hated it.

 

He dropped to the ground the second the first book hit the floor, trying to pick up all the items before he made too much of a scene.

 

"I-I am so so so sorry! I wasn't w-watching where I was walking a-and I guess I ran into you? Well, of course I ran into you duh, I mean I'm not that stupid, I have eyes, but what I mean-what I'm trying to say is that I didn't mean to run into you a-and I-"

 

Words stopped flowing from his mouth as soon as he looked up and saw the face of the boy he bumped into.

 

He was pretty sure he must have definitely been dead because no one on earth should be allowed to look that pretty. Like ever. He must be an angel.

 

'Wait, woah woah, hold up there, buddy. An angel? He's,like, a dude. And you're a dude. And it's not like that's not okay, I mean it's 2017 anyone can love anyone duh you know that of course but you are not gay. Never in your life have you been gay before so you can't be gay now or ever,'

 

His thoughts rushed through his head, causing him to pay even less attention to the boy than before. Which made for an interesting sight. An anxious teenage boy squatting in a pile of textbooks who looks like he's trying to solve dynamical systems and differential equations in Mandarin.

 

"Are you okay, man?"

 

His head shot up as the angel-ahem, the student-spoke to him.

 

"Y-yeah I'm fine, great, better than fine, a-are you? 'Cause I-I ran into you and everything?"

 

He stood up and scratched the back of his neck in a way to try and relive some of the awkward tension he seems to always carry, blushing harder than ever.

 

"Yeah, I'm fine,"

 

He gave Evan a weird look. But not like the weird looks Evan normally gets, like a good weird look. Like he was fond of Evan or something. And Evan liked it. . .? Weird.

 

"I'm Connor,"

 

The boy told him. Okay, so they were doing introductions now.

 

"I-I'm Hansen. Evan! Evan Hansen. Hansen's the uh last name,"

 

He should just give up now.

 

But Connor only laughed. It was kinda breathy and soft, but still really warm and nice sounding .

 

It was getting harder to justify his straightness.

 

Why did Connor have to go around looking like something heavenly and make him question his sexually? This was all his fault.

 

"So, I was thinking of ditching because I've got no chance of fixing any grades anyways,"

 

Connor continued the conversation.

 

"Would you want to tag along?"

 

Evan felt as if all the air was stolen from his lungs. This gorgeous boy was asking him to ditch class with him? He must have looked exactly like he felt because Connor was suddenly trying to downplay what he had just offered.

 

"Not that you have to or anything I just thought since you look like your brain is on Mars and I wanna get the hell out of here we might ditch together?"

 

Evan was trying to answer, he really was, but right now speaking seemed out of his realm of possibility. He finally choked out an answer.

 

"Y-yeah uh I would love to ditch w-with you. I mean not love agh more like, like. I'd like to uh ditch with you i-if the offer still uhm stands?"

 

Once his mouth started taking, it's like it didn't shut off.

 

Connor gave a cute little smile-oh God, Evan was gay wasn't he?- and gestured for Evan to follow him out of the school.

 

They reached Connor's car and piled in, Connor driving off as soon as both Evan's legs were inside the door.

 

They ended up at a little ice cream shop Evan had been to once or twice with his mom called A La Mode.

 

Once they both had ordered and received their ice cream, the boys sat down at a small table in the corner of the store.

 

Connor attempted small talk but quickly realized it was not really Evan's strong suit. Like, at all.

 

He changed his approach and began talking about himself more than he was asking questions. Evan grew more comfortable with the boy as he continued to share little details about his life. Funny experiences in French class, weird conversations he had overheard from around campus, how he got an A on an AP Environmental Studies test when he had only showed up to half the classes, and things of that sort. Evan warmed up to the point where he was adding commentary to some of Connor's stories and smiling like he meant it. He hadn't smiled that that in a while.

 

Time seemed to fly as he talked with Connor, not caring about getting back to class in the slightest.

 

When the conversation seemed to lull, Connor looked at his phone to check the time.

 

"Oh shit! It's almost two,"

 

Evan didn't realize they had been here that long.

 

"I need to pick up my sister from jazz band at 2:30."

 

He said it like he regretted it. Like he regretted leaving Evan. No one had regretted leaving him before.

 

"I-it's okay. You can just drop me off at school and I can uhm walk home from there."

 

It was kind of far, but he didn't want to inconvenience Connor. They had been having a really good time, it'd be a shame to ruin it now.

 

"No, of course not," Connor looked like Evan was crazy. "I'd be more than happy to drive you home,"

 

Evan blushed. Again. Connor just did things to him, okay?

 

"S-sure,"

 

Connor smiled and stood up, reaching out for Evan's hand. Evan grabbed it, a little confused, and let himself be pulled up and led back to Connor's car. His blush didn't falter even a little bit.

 

Connor decided to drop Evan off at his house before he went to pick up Zoe.

 

The drive there was silent but the good kind of silence. The silence that says was comfortable, not awkward, and not there for a lack of something to say, but a knowledge that the other person already knew. It was like Connor already knew the important things about Evan. What a strange and not unwelcome feeling.

 

Connor braked in front of Evan's small house and turned to the other boy before he could get out of the car.

 

"So I had a really good time today," he confessed. "And I haven't had a lot of good days in a while,"

 

That made two of them.

 

"I was wondering if you would want to do it again sometime? But more official. Like a date. . .?"

 

"A-a date?" He squeaked.

 

Connor's face flushed a bright red, but he didn't take back the words.

 

Evan was grateful because getting asked out by this boy was probably his favorite part of his entire high school career.

 

"Yes! I mean yeah, sure, I'm good with that,"

 

Connor broke out into a million watt smile.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Yeah,"

 

There were a few seconds where both of the boys just kind of sat there, smiling at each other. Then Connor was getting out of the car and opening Evan's door like a chivalrous gentleman and then they were standing on Evan's porch, both still wearing gigantic smiles. Evan found that he didn't really want to go inside, though.

 

Before he could register what was happening, Connor was leaning over. Like leaning over in the way that signaled he was going to kiss Evan, leaning over. And for the first time, Evan did not feel anxious or scared. He only felt like he needed to kiss that boy. So he did.

 

He met Connor halfway and closed the distance between their lips, kissing Connor like a starved man (which he supposed he kind of was 'cause the only thing he'd eaten that day was ice cream because he was too tired to eat breakfast but focus, Evan you're kissing a cute boy don't think about how much food you've had today).

 

The kiss didn't last very long, and wasn't very remarkable but at the same time it was because it was Evan's first kiss and it was with this boy who he'd only just met but already really trusted and shoot he's gay and would need to tell his mom somehow but that's a problem for another time because Connor was leaning in again and Evan didn't really care about anything but Connor's lips at that very moment.

 

In the end, Connor was fifteen minutes late to picking up Zoe from band.

 

But neither boy really cared.

Notes:

Btw, yes I know they started school at like 8 or 9ish and ended at A La Mode at around 2 which is like six hours but shhh it's okay they just had a lot to talk about.