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“Hyung… Please break up with Kihyun.”
It was almost hard for Hoseok to hear what Minhyuk was saying. His face was buried in Hoseok’s chest, his arms were clinging tight around Hoseok's waist, not wanting to let go. Hoseok bit his lower lips, slowly patting on Minhyuk’s head. His other arm was hugging around Minhyuk’s back, returning back the hug.
“Are you planning to get Kihyun's attention again and make him fall for you?” Hoseok asked. He waited for an answer but all he got was a slight shook from Minhyuk.
“Then, are you jealous that I am loving someone else other than you?” Hoseok continued asking. He felt Minhyuk loosened the grip around his waist and moved away. Hoseok could sensed the change in Minhyuk's mood as he strode to the kitchen, hiding his face from Hoseok. Hoseok watched Minhyuk’s back as the younger was preparing something on the stove.
“I just hated Kihyun's scent which got stuck on you. I know it's crazy but I don't know… I'm sorry, Hyung.” Minhyuk's voice was small yet audible for Hoseok. Hoseok let out a sigh as he slipped both of his hands into the pocket of his pants.
Hoseok couldn't really tell how it ended up this way. How his morning routine changed to a visit to Minhyuk’s place. Hoseok could barely remember how his feelings developed for Minhyuk. It started with adoration, and probably infatuation and slowly, he is smitten to Lee Minhyuk.
To be honest, Hoseok knew he doesn't deserved Minhyuk. Minhyuk is pure, he is lovable.
And that doesn't really sums up why Kihyun didn't fall for Minhyuk.
Hoseok remembered studying Minhyuk dancing on the dancefloor the night he had followed Kihyun for his high school reunion. Both Minhyuk and Kihyun were best friends since high school but Hoseok didn't really know what is their degree of closeness.
“He had a major crush on me back then and I guess, he hasn't really get over his feelings for me.” Kihyun had said, fighting against the loud music. Hoseok's eyes grew wide of bewilderment, unsure if he was surprised because of some love competition or maybe the fact they are still friends.
“You must be kidding me. You're in good term with him and I see the two of you talking like nothing is wrong just now.” Hoseok remarked. He saw Kihyun giggling, sliding his hand around Hoseok’s arm.
“He’s a nice guy and a good friend. I don't think it's worth losing him over such petty reason.” Hoseok smiled, knowing how matured Kihyun is.
And Kihyun is matured enough dealing with the fact that his boyfriend is sleeping with the guy who had crush on him, who is also his best friend.
But Minhyuk is the opposite. He's childlike, despite being older than Kihyun by days. He needs attention. He's clingy and sometimes, Hoseok thinks that Minhyuk is being possessive.
“Min, do you wanna talk about it?” Hoseok decided to ask, slowly getting worried. It didn't take awhile for him to see Minhyuk turned around and flashed him a smile.
“Ne… I'm fine, Hyung. Don't worry about me.” Lies. Hoseok told himself. Despite those smile, he could totally see the insecurity in Minhyuk's eyes. He could almost felt that Minhyuk is crumbling down but he was holding on to anything that is possible. Hoseok walked up towards him and embraced him, hugging him tight around his slender waist. It made Minhyuk squeaked a little as Hoseok buried his face in between of his neck. The smell of blackberries got dominant as Hoseok inhaled the scent on Minhyuk’s skins.
“You’re bad at lying, and you know that.” Hoseok said, almost above whisper. He saw from the corner of his eyes how Minhyuk bit the bottom of his lips.
“The school might be sending me for an overseas trip. Maybe around 6 months.” Minhyuk started and Hoseok felt a little relief that Minhyuk is opening up.
“As much as I want to go, deep down in me, I'm just hesitant.”
“And why is that so?” Hoseok asked back. He felt Minhyuk heaved as he let go of the kitchen towel that he was holding. He forced himself to turn and face Hoseok, still in Hoseok’s arms. His eyes couldn't meet Hoseok, fixing around Hoseok's collar as his fingers were fondling with Hoseok’s tie.
“It's a very long period for me and I don't think I'll get replacement for the childcare.” Minhyuk pouts a little, still couldn't meet Hoseok’s gaze.
“There's more to it, isn't it?” Hoseok asked again. He figured out the answer but he wanted to hear it straight from Minhyuk’s mouth. Slowly, he saw Minhyuk looking at him straight in the eyes.
“I don't want to be away from you.” It sounds daunting, but at the same time, calming. Hoseok sighed, ran his fingers along Minhyuk’s jet black hair. He couldn't find a correct answer to Minhyuk’s problem and he couldn't seems to find anything to say to Minhyuk and console him.
Hoseok couldn't seems to focus on his work once he reached the office. It worried him that Minhyuk is not in his best self, not the jovial person whom he had known ever since they are together. It frustrated him more when he knows he couldn't help Minhyuk.
He found himself playing with his food on the plate during lunch, wandering away. He didn't even realized that Kihyun is studying him from the other side of the table. Kihyun found it weird that Hoseok is this worried, because so far that they had been together, Kihyun never once saw Hoseok in this manner.
“What's the matter, babe? Are you having a fight with Minhyuk?” Kihyun decided to ask and probably, that must be the only thing that can worry Hoseok the most. Hoseok looked up from the plate, looking straight into Kihyun's eyes. The other had put down his utensils and leaned back on the sofa seat of the restaurant they're having lunch at. Hoseok forced a smile on his lips.
“It's not that bad.” Hoseok replied but he saw how Kihyun arched one of his eyebrows, unsatisfied with Hoseok’s answer.
“Well, I'm not forcing you to tell but it's just not like you today, and it pretty much worries me.” Kihyun said as he leaned on the table. He took the utensils back into his hands and started to slice through his unfinished piece of meat. He heard Hoseok letting out a sigh and it confirmed Kihyun's doubt about how Hoseok is not himself that day.
“Y’know… Minhyuk can be pretty clingy and all, but I guess, sometime you need your space too.” Kihyun said and Hoseok hates to admit that it's true at times.
“In any case it's about Minhyuk’s school internship, you should know best that this is something Minhyuk wants to do. He put in so much effort to be where he is now. So I guess, you shouldn't stop him from what he wants to do in life.” Hoseok bit his lower lips upon hearing those. Yeah, they are the best of friends so of course, Minhyuk must have asked for Kihyun’s opinion. Kihyun knew what is important to Minhyuk and Hoseok wants the best for him, too.
But Hoseok realized that nothing else is stopping Minhyuk apart from Hoseok himself.
And Hoseok didn't know what came over him that night. He looked out from the balcony of his and Kihyun’s house, staring at the twinkling stars. Kihyun was fast asleep, but he couldn't. Not without getting all these heavy feeling off him. His hand was gripping his phone hard, up to the point that the edges were hurting his skins.
He took a deep breath and unlocked his phone, ignoring the fact that he had thousands of missed calls and all of them were from Minhyuk. And all those unread messages, also from Minhyuk, most of which getting worried of why he couldn't get through Hoseok. He decided to call back and with the final sigh that escaped his lips, he heard Minhyuk’s worried voice at the end of the line.
“Hyung, where are you? Why didn't you answer any of my calls or messages?” Hoseok hesitated for a moment. He let out another sigh as he pressed the phone even harder onto his ears.
“Hyung, are you okay? Did you had a fight with Kihyun?” Minhyuk asked again. The worries in his voice lessen but it hasn't disappeared totally.
“Min… Let's get some time off from each other. I mean… it's not you, Min. It's just that…” Hoseok stuttered. He couldn't finished off what he is trying to convey. There was a short silence from the other end of the line. It was a cue for him to continue, but he couldn't.
“Oh. Okay, hyung.” Minhyuk's voice was small, almost away from the phone itself and before Hoseok could say anything else, he heard the engage tone at the end of the line.
He did it. He just broke Minhyuk’s heart.
And in turn, he could feel his own heart breaking.
Hoseok dragged himself to the bedroom, ignoring the snoring Kihyun. He plopped himself beside Kihyun, face down on his pillow. Minhyuk must be crying now, he thought to himself. He must be the horrible person on earth and he swears that if the grim reaper descends on earth today, he will be dragged to hell for breaking Minhyuk’s heart.
Kihyun stretched on the bed, extending his hands as far as he could and startled himself when he hit something on the bed. He opened his eyes and sat upright on the bed. He blinked his eyes several times, thinking that he must be dreaming, or maybe he hasn't fully awake yet. It can't be that Hoseok is still sleeping beside him when all the while he knew that Hoseok would have left the house to go to Minhyuk’s. Kihyun glanced at the watch on the side table and his assumption was right. But the only thing wrong now is the sleeping Hoseok.
“Babe, I think you're gonna be late.” Kihyun said, nudging Hoseok a little. He saw Hoseok shifted a little closer to him and soon, he felt Hoseok’s arms around his waist and there he is, sitting in an awkward position while Hoseok continued sleeping.
“Let me sleep in, Ki. I'm just so tired.”
And with that, Kihyun knew that there must be something on with Hoseok and Minhyuk.
The next thing Kihyun knows, he was already knocking on Minhyuk’s main door. He couldn't believe that it has come to this. Who in the right mind will want to barge into someone else’s love story? And clearly, Kihyun is not in his right mind to barge into his boyfriend and best friend's relationship. And just by the sound of that doesn't seem right at all.
Kihyun got irritated with how long Minhyuk took to open the door. He tried to turn the knob and surprised that it was unlocked. The moment he pushed the door open, he saw Minhyuk was about to run towards the door. He stopped midway, almost stunned to see Kihyun by his doorstep at such hour.
“Dude, it's dangerous to not lock the door.” Kihyun stated, who was stunned by how the door wasn't unlocked (because if Hoseok were to not lock the door, he would have scream.) Minhyuk smiled sheepishly.
“Sorry. I got used to unlocking the door at these hour.”
Right. It's supposed to be Hoseok’s “visiting hour” but it didn't happened today.
Kihyun studied Minhyuk for a moment. He was all dressed up like he's about to leave anytime soon. But Kihyun sort of know Minhyuk’s schedule. He shouldn't be having class this early on a Thursday. His eyebags were getting worst, Kihyun realized. Well, it was more than just lack of sleep but Kihyun doesn't want to go there. The familiar scent of blackberries sneaked into Kihyun's nostrils. He had known this scent for almost 10 years.
And it was the same scent that he could always sense from Hoseok’s skins.
“You’re going somewhere?” Kihyun asked, raising one of his eyebrows. And when his eyes lingered around the room, he saw two luggages by the side of the sofa.
“Wait. Your flight isn't until next week, right?” Kihyun pointed out at the luggages. Minhyuk’s eyes started to shake as he turned to look at the luggages like as if he didn't know the existence at all.
“Well, they actually push my flight forward and I have no choice but to fly by afternoon. But I guess all is good and I am ready.” Minhyuk said, smiling. It's pretty hard for Kihyun to trust Minhyuk’s words because Minhyuk is the kind of person who still smile behind all of his problems and he lies alot to hide it all.
“Does Hoseok knows about this?” Kihyun asked without looking at Minhyuk. He finds it funny how the name rolled out easily from his tongue when all these while, he had never discuss about Hoseok with Minhyuk. Not like as if they all didn't know what is revolving around them but it's just something that no one wants to discuss about.
“Erm… Actually no. But you can just let him know later. I don't want to trouble him, either.” Minhyuk said, averting his gaze from Kihyun. Silence swept them for a moment.
“You sure you're gonna be okay?” Kihyun meant from every aspect. From the way Minhyuk will be flying alone, to living in a foreign country for almost half a year alone. And probably, even with whatever happened between him and Hoseok.
“Don’t worry, Kihyun. I'll be fine.” The smile appeared on Minhyuk’s lips didn't assured Kihyun because he knew, deep down inside, Minhyuk needs someone, particularly Hoseok. And it's funny how it's not all about Kihyun now.
And maybe, just maybe, Kihyun wished that he didn't rejected Minhyuk. It's not a thad of jealousy that hits him but he wonders how could he not see this fragile side of Minhyuk.