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2017-06-02
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Deep Forest

Summary:

When Kuroo loses his way in a forest, he stumbles into a summer dream. He is drawn to the allure of the forest and to Akaashi Keiji, an existence of myths.

Notes:

I've always wanted to write a surreal type of fantasy au, and recently polished this idea enough for it to be written down. It ended up feeling pretty close to me, too.

For visual reference, Akaashi is wearing this (w/o the mask)
For listening, Natsu no ringo by Kalafina really built the vibes for this.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

He walks on and on through the forest, threading through thick moss and stumbling over sinkholes. The forest before him is vivid colours of green, brown and golden where the sun hits. Tetsurou would bring the lens to his eyes, snap and save it to his memory card. But the camera has been sitting heavy on his shoulder for hours; his parched throat is a fire and his weary body is ready to collapse.

After all, Tetsurou is only a speck in this monstrous forest, his weak body falling to dehydration and exhaustion.

It had been a whim to leave the trail. Tetsurou had been walking behind the lens, capturing anything of interest. Forget the rule of thirds, leading lines and other compositing rules. The forest has its own brand of beauty, colours and shapes that the city could never hope to replicate. Tetsurou snaps at the mess of creepers on a tree. He snaps at a bush of wild flowers and at the moss upon a rock. His memory card fills with chaotic scraps of nature. Then, Tetsurou makes an almost subconscious decision to leave the trail. The forest draws him in with canopies so heavy that he forgets the colour of the sky and bushes so thick that he loses the surface of the earth.

Slowly, the pull of his muscles become an ache and the lack of fluids in his body grows apparent. Peeling the lens away from his face, his weariness sinks into his bones.

 

It had been hours, Tetsurou is sure. He had raised his empty bottle to his cracked lips and tried his dead phone five times. It feels ironic that the battery in his camera is still going strong when it sits slung over his shoulder, a deadweight. The colours, so bright and vivid before, are mixing and blurring in his spinning head. Tetsurou presses his palm to coarse wood, resting his weight against an old tree.

Through the strained silence, Tetsurou catches the sound of a stream.

Water, he thinks.

Knowing how desperately his body needs it, Tetsurou forces his feet forward.

A few minutes later, he stumbles into an opening. Sunlight casts down from the clearing, bathing the stream in a warm glow. Tetsurou's eyes follows the flow of water to a figure downstream - a person dressed in a kimono, knee-deep in the water. Questions stir in his head, but nothing comes up coherent.

As Tetsurou struggles to pick out his words, they look up. Panic flits through their eyes before they pick up a bow, aiming an arrow at Tetsurou.

"N-no wait!" Tetsurou chokes out, waving frantically. Suddenly, the blood runs backwards from his head, blackness flooding behind his eyes as weakness toils over his body.

Tetsurou anticipates hitting the ground, but he doesn't quite feel it.

 


 

Thankfully, he wakes up in a comparatively calmer situation. Tetsurou's head is resting in someone's lap as they gaze down at him. For a few moments it's surreal. The same stranger that had almost attacked him is now regarding him with a certain concern. Then the calm shatters when Tetsurou's body reminds him of everything at once - the aching, the dull throbbing in his head and the burning in his throat.

The stranger helps Tetsurou sit up.

"Have water," they offer.

They feed the water to Tetsurou, balanced in the cup of their hand. Most of it trickles down Tetsurou's chest as he struggles to drink it, but the bit he manages to consume soothes his body. Already, he is starting to feel better.

"Thank you," Tetsurou mutters.

The stranger has a pretty face, Tetsurou notices. The shape of their face is soft, but their features are sharp. The contradiction strikes Tetsurou as something unusual, yet it seemed to work for this person.

"Are you a traveller?" The stranger asks, regarding Tetsurou cautiously.

"Um, I guess," Tetsurou answers uncertainly. "I'm Kuroo Tetsurou. And...you?"

He figured that he might as well introduce himself.

"...Akaashi Keiji," they answer after a while. "I'm sorry for aiming at you. I was afraid you had a weapon, but I realise I was mistaken."

"Oh, hey it's fine!" Tetsurou says quickly. "You saved me."

"You did startle me when you fainted," Akaashi remarks with a small smile.

 

Everything about Akaashi was unusual. They wore a white kimono with a black and white obi sash, complete with a gold obijime string. The bottom half of their kimono was made of two panes of white cloth that extended to their knees, allowing for much more mobility than the usual wrap-around. As much as Tetsurou tries not to look, when Akaashi moves, more of their thigh shows through the layers. It was an intricate and beautiful outfit, though it seemed to jump out from an utterly different time and place. Another detail that baffled Tetsurou was the fact that Akaashi remained completely barefoot. Apart from the specks of grass and soil that stuck to their soles, their feet were neither blistered or bruised as they should be. All in all, the very existence of Akaashi Keiji was a mystery.

 


 

After Tetsurou starts to feel better, he follows Akaashi downstream, where they said Tetsurou could rest when the sun went down. As they walk in silence, Tetsurou briefly wonders how he had gotten better so quickly. He had been so sure he was running a fever before he had passed out. Was it Akaashi? It didn't seem beyond them to have some kind of magical healing powers as well.

Tetsurou was also aware that he was trusting Akaashi blindly. For all he knew, Akaashi could be tricking him and luring him to his demise. But caution be damned, when his body is weary and his head too tired to think. Besides, Tetsurou couldn't possibly survive out in the forest by himself, with little to no knowledge of how to fend for himself.

 

The sky washes over with purple as the sun dips into the horizon, the shadows growing long beneath their feet. Heavy branches filter out what little light is left, leaving them to walk in almost darkness.

"Hey..." Tetsurou starts, uneasy as it gets harder and harder to see Akaashi in front of him.

Akaashi doesn't seem perturbed by the approaching dusk, continuing as if it was just another time of his day. Which it really is, but Tetsurou had grown up in the city. As soon as the sky started darkening, lights would come on around him. Now, with an alarming lack of visibility, Tetsurou's footsteps grow even clumsier, slipping on rocks and tiny sinkholes in the path.

"Akaash-" Tetsurou stumbles forward, bumping into Akaashi.

Finally picking up on Tetsurou's distress, Akaashi reaches around, taking hold of his arm.

"Be careful, Kuroo-san."

"Well, I can't really see." Tetsurou grimaces.

Akaashi doesn't say any more. They continue walking, albeit slower for Tetsurou to pick around the darkness.

 

Finally, Akaashi leads Tetsurou to a small clearing shadowed by a large tree. As they wander closer, Tetsurou picks out a ring of pebbles and a cluster of sticks arranged into a firepit. He wonders how Akaashi is going to light it; Tetsurou hadn't brought a lighter, or matches. Not having a firestarter didn't seem to bother Akaashi, however. They crouch down before the firepit, holding their hands out above the firewood. Tetsurou is itching to ask what they were doing, but something tells him to stay silent.

Slowly, the smallest embers start dancing around their hands. Tetsurou blinks quickly. Then, a small flame forms, glowing precariously above the firepit between Akaashi's hands. With careful precision, Akaashi guides the flame onto the kindling, where it catches and lights up the firepit.

"How did you just...?" Tetsurou looks at Akaashi, blinking dumbly at them.

"Magic," they surmise.

Their answer only confuses Tetsurou further, but he couldn't argue when Akaashi had just displayed the phenomena to him.

"What...are you?" Tetsurou asks in bewilderment.

Akaashi hesitates, holding his gaze carefully.

"...Kodama."

"Oh," Tetsurou breathes. His gaze wanders to the large tree beside them. Even in the fading light, he could make out its massive trunk and the thick canopy of leaves. Tetsurou doesn't know much about tree spirits, but he had heard that they were often elusive beings that dwelled deep in the forest. Of course, it isn't implausible for one of them to be taking a human form before him.

Akaashi stands up abruptly, moving towards the tree.

"Are you tired?" They ask, resting their hand against the bark.

Tetsurou had so many questions. But he was also tired - even if he was no longer feverish, he was exhausted from the trekking in the day. His brain was barely stringing coherent thoughts.

"Yea." He nods in answer.

Tetsurou grabs his bag, following Akaashi to settle in the cozy space between the roots of the towering tree. He pats his bag down into a makeshift pillow, laying down on his side with his back pressed against the tree. The damp soil under his arm was not the most comfortable, but the drag of his weary body soon pulled him into a deep sleep.

 


 

Tetsurou smells earth when he awakes. Then, he feels the glow of sunlight against the exposed skin on his arms, and remembers where he had fallen asleep. He had slept deeply, but nature wasn't the best bed and he starts to feel the beginnings of a dull ache in his shoulder. He groans, prying his sleep-crusted eyelids open.

Then he freezes.

Lying barely a breath away, is Akaashi Keiji. They are still on their side, eyes closed and lips relaxed and parted. Tetsurou doesn't dare to breathe. If he so much as moves a finger, their carefully placed hands would touch.

So he waits, with bated breath, until Akaashi opens their eyes. For a few moments, Akaashi just stares at him. Tetsurou can't read them at all. He has no idea what their dark piercing eyes are saying, if this quiet eye-lock has any meaning at all. Then, Akaashi breaks their gaze as they move to rise to their feet.

"Kuroo-san, do you need food?"

Tetsurou fumbles to sit up, looking up to meet Akaashi's eyes.

"Oh- um," he pauses as he feels a timely rumble in his gut. He last had a snack some ten hours ago so his stomach was, without a doubt, hoping for more substance soon. "Yea."

Akaashi picks up their bow and arrow, marching off towards the stream. Tetsurou pats off the loose soil and dried leaves, following after them quickly.

 

The stream is cold in the late morning, a calm river running through the forest. Akaashi crouches down by the bank, scooping a handful of water and bringing it to their lips to drink. Observing them quietly, Tetsurou mimics their action, feeding water into his parched mouth. After that, Akaashi leads them further downstream. The water is visibly deeper, and Akaashi instructs Tetsurou to stay on the bank as they thread into the water.

They retrieve a strip of cloth from their kimono sleeve, holding it between their lips as they bring it behind their chest to tie down their long kimono sleeves. Tetsurou watches in amazement as they do so skillfully, weaving it across their back before securing the piece with a sharp knot against the inside of their shoulder. Akaashi returns their bow to their hand, drawing an arrow as they eye the water carefully.

Tetsurou doesn't dare to make a sound, afraid to shatter their intense concentration.

Akaashi follows the movements in the water with a sharp, tenacious eye. Tetsurou thinks it resembles a bird of prey. Then, Akaashi releases their arrow. It shoots through the water, sharp and clean towards its prey. Akaashi reaches to retrieve it, turning the arrow towards Tetsurou to show him the medium-sized fish caught on the end of it.

"Food, Kuroo-san," they say.

"O-okay." Tetsurou takes it cautiously as Akaashi turns away to catch another for themself.

 

By the end of the morning, Tetsurou is sitting by the fire again, consuming the fish that Akaashi had caught for them. They eat in silence, focused on picking out flesh among bone, careful not to mix the two. When they complete their meal, Tetsurou pulls his backpack towards him.

"I should go," he says, repacking the items in his bag. He glances up to meet Akaashi's eyes. "Thank you for helping me, Akaashi."

His sincerity seems to throw Akaashi off, as they glance around uncertainly.

"You- needed help, so I helped," they eventually settle on.

"That's very kind," Tetsurou remarks, the corners of his lips curving up. He shoves a bundle of spare batteries into the bottom of his bag.

"It-it is nothing," Akaashi remarks.

Tetsurou gathers up his camera, slinging the strap over his neck.

"What is that?" Akaashi interjects, leaning to have a closer look.

"This?" Tetsurou turns towards them. "It's a camera - ever seen one?"

"Maybe..." Akaashi frowns. "Some of the other travellers carry one. What does it do?"

Tetsurou turns it on and Akaashi watches in amazement as the LED screen lights up.

"It takes photos," Tetsurou explains. "Like, it captures what we see and saves it."

He goes into the gallery, scrolling over the photos he had taken in the forest yesterday. Akaashi scoots over to sit next to him, leaning close to peer at the camera.

"Want me to show you how to take a photo?" Tetsurou asks, switching the camera back into standby mode.

"Yes," Akaashi says with a small, delighted smile.

Tetsurou rises to his feet, bringing the camera up to his face. Akaashi watches him with rapt interest as he searches for a subject.

As he sweeps the area with his lens, Tetsurou considers taking a photo of Akaashi. But, that might be rude. Akaashi was, after all, some kind of supernatural dwelling who might even have ties to forest deities. Besides, what if Akaashi didn't show up on the camera? Tetsurou isn't ready to find that out just yet. So he points the camera at the large tree, framing it carefully before shooting.

He shows the captured photo to Akaashi.

"That's the tree," They remark, impressed.

"Would you like to try?" Tetsurou offers.

Akaashi looks at the camera, biting their lip uncertainly. It was kind of cute, actually. Earlier, they were skillfully fishing with a bow, and now they are nervous about using a camera.

"I can teach you," Tetsurou assures.

Akaashi nods. Tetsurou steps towards them, slipping the camera strap around their head. He made sure to do so slowly enough that Akaashi knew what was happening, and then places the camera in their hands.

"You look through here," Tetsurou holds his finger over the lens, then the shutter. "And press this to take a photo."

He leans over Akaashi, holding up the camera to his eye to demonstrate. Then, when Akaashi seemed to grasp the idea, he guides their hands to bring the camera to their face.

Akaashi grips the camera awkwardly, and Tetsurou adjusts their fingers to sit around the sides better. As Akaashi begins to grow more comfortable around it, Tetsurou backs away to let them explore. He had the camera set to Auto, so whatever photo Akaashi takes is likely to come out alright, at least in terms of exposure and focus.

They take a few moments with the camera, just peering through the lens at different things, before clicking the shutter.

The shutter goes off a few times, before Akaashi hands the device back to Tetsurou.

"Thank you," they say, flushed.

Curious as to what photos Akaashi had taken, Tetsurou instantly switches to gallery mode.

There's a shot of the same tree Tetsurou had taken, but framed differently. Another shot of the ground, a mix of grass and fallen leaves. Then there was a candid shot of Tetsurou. His cheeks heat up.

Well, he definitely showed up on camera. Tetsurou is torn about erasing it - he rarely keeps photos of himself around, especially candid ones. But this was taken by Akaashi, and that-

"Can I see them?" Akaashi quips.

Tetsurou turns the camera towards them. It was just one photo; it wasn't a particularly bad one, and didn't even have most of his face.

 

In the end, Akaashi makes Tetsurou show him all the photos he had taken on the camera. There are some repeat shots, blurred shots or shots with the wrong exposure, but Akaashi doesn't make any comment. At first, there are just the shots he had taken in the forest. Then, as he scrolls further back, there are some photos he had taken on the streets.

Akaashi sits up.

"Where is this?" they ask, pointing at the screen.

"That's the bus-stop outside the park," Tetsurou answers. He briefly explains the rest of the photos as he scrolls through them, though he's not sure Akaashi understands his words. It seems that Akaashi had only ever existed within the forest, anyway.

The second time Akaashi makes him pause is at a photo taken in his kitchen.

"Who is that?"

There's a woman with her back to the camera, her long black hair pined up on her head.

"That's my mother." Tetsurou switches off the camera. It was the last photo on the camera.

"You don't have many photos of people," Akaashi observes.

Tetsurou pauses from fixing on the lens cap. He's not sure what to say to that. He does have memory cards full of silly photos of his family, friends and school mates. In comparison, this memory card is a little empty.

He thinks of asking Akaashi for a photo. But Tetsurou doesn't think the lens will do justice to them. Akaashi has pretty eyes, a sharp nose and soft curved lips. But they also have another kind of beauty that can't be put into words. It makes his chest tight - with wonder, or maybe a little bit of fear.

"Can we take more photos?" Akaashi asks before Tetsurou can keep the camera away.

He pauses, contemplating it. Tetsurou was supposed to leave. He still has no idea where to go, but he just thought that he couldn't impose on Akaashi any longer.

Akaashi touches his arm. At the contact, Tetsurou's chest tightens as his heart flutters. He flinches, pulling away.

"Okay," he answers weakly.

Tetsurou changes out the battery, and checks over the memory space as well. They have space for about a hundred more photos, but Tetsurou doubts they will take that many. He grabs the emptied water bottle from his bag, filling it with water before they set off.

"Would you like to use the camera?" Tetsurou turns to Akaashi.

"No, you can use it." They shake their head. "You take beautiful photos, Kuroo-san."

"Oh." Tetsurou blinks, surprised by the compliment.

Akaashi smiles, a rare glint in his eyes, as they lead Tetsurou into the forest.

 


 

Tetsurou snaps some photos of the stream, then follows Akaashi around, capturing anything of interest. He switches into manual mode to tweak with the settings, that he briefly tries to explain to Akaashi. As expected, they are baffled when he talks about ISO, aperture and shutter speed. To them, the technology of a camera is fascinating, perhaps even on the same level as Akaashi's existence is to Tetsurou.

No, Akaashi was surely more fascinating than his DSLR could ever be.

Tetsurou follows them deeper into the forest, trusting Akaashi to lead them back safely.

 

There's a certain allure to the forest that draws Tetsurou in. He can't be sure if it's the idea of being surrounded by foliage in every direction - tall grass that rises past their ankles, bushes that grow into their sides and canopies that reach towards the skies. Walking off the trail made Tetsurou feel the heart of the forest - nature the way it was meant to be before man tried to curb it.

"Have you always been in this forest?" Tetsurou asks, noting the way Akaashi dodges around the uneven terrain with ease.

"Yes," they answer. "I have."

Tetsurou points his camera at a tangle of foliage, capturing its natural abandon.

"Is this beautiful?" Akaashi asks, leaning beside him.

"I think it could be," Tetsurou answers, turning towards Akaashi.

They were startlingly close. Again, with a sharp gaze that has Tetsurou's mouth going dry.

"I think everything could be," he finishes in a whisper.

I think you could be. I think you are.

Akaashi smiles, again with that glint in their eye. They pull back, satisfied.

As they turn to continue showing Tetsurou through the forest, Tetsurou thinks to snap a picture of Akaashi.

He doesn't check it. He doesn't dare to.

 

Tetsurou sneaks several shots of Akaashi. There's the forest - wild flowers, overgrown crowds of oddly-shaped leaves, creepers wrapped around old trees, canopies that break the sky into interesting shapes. Snap, snap, snap. Tetsurou captures and saves all of them. The forest in his memory card. Then there's Akaashi. He's not sure how much of them he can catch, or whether he can save any of it. Akaashi feels like a memory that only Tetsurou can hold. Heck, he could barely contain it as it is. Sometimes, he is so sure he would turn to speak to them and realise that he was alone.

It must have been hours since they left. Tetsurou gulps down the last bit of water in his bottle, and yawns into his hand. Akaashi turns to him, brows furrowing.

"Would you like to rest?" They ask.

"I think- yea," Tetsurou agrees. He adjusts the camera on his shoulder as Akaashi steps towards him, taking hold of his hand.

It was like that time Tetsurou had trouble figuring his way out in the dark. His chest didn't tighten and his heart didn't dance erratically the way it had earlier. Akaashi's grip is firm, but that was it.

They walk the rest of the way back to the old tree in silence.

 


 

"You can rest here, Kuroo-san. I will get food." Akaashi picks up their bow and arrows before Tetsurou can protest, setting off again.

He was too drained to follow, anyway. Tetsurou slumps against the tree, resting his back against its trunk. After putting his camera away, he closes his eyes for a few minutes.

It's quiet, he realises. Very quiet. Apart from the distant movement of water from the stream, it's almost completely silent.

Tetsurou opens his eyes, sitting up.

What about birds? Or bugs? While they were walking through the forest earlier, he had caught the soft calls of birds or various insects.

He turns to his hand, laid flat against the earth. He sweeps it through the grass. Then, once more.

He hadn't notice it last night, but Tetsurou realises that he had not ran into a single insect. When he had been trekking alone, he had many annoying run-ins with wandering insects. They crawled up his leg, into his backpack and even onto his camera. He had to shake every one of them off every other hour.

Tetsurou rises to his knees, sweeping his hands over the grass and soil. Nothing. And then his fingers run over a hard ridge. He pauses. Carefully, he leans closer to inspect it, brushing soil off the surface.

White. It was white.

It could just be a rock.

Tetsurou follows the shape, eventually tracing its form under the mess of grass that had grown over it.

His throat tightens.

It's a bone.

He can't be sure what or who it belongs to, but none of his ideas sound good.

 

Soon after, Akaashi returns with the fish they had caught. Tetsurou watches them start up the fire, embers rising from their hands. Briefly, he thinks of fairytales and urban legends, wondering which was closer to Akaashi. He watches them cook the fish over the fire with careful control.

"Kuroo-san?" Akaashi peers at him, holding out his share to him.

Tetsurou shifts closer to the fire and Akaashi, accepting the food from them. He pauses, entertaining the idea of being poisoned.

But Akaashi had fed him earlier, and they had saved Tetsurou. If Akaashi wanted to hurt Tetsurou, poisoning seemed too distasteful for them. Tetsurou bites into the fish.

Again, they eat in silence. This time, Tetsurou remains acutely aware of it.

When he discards the remains of fish bones by the firepit, memories of his discovery earlier swims in his head.

"Akaashi, you're a different kind of youkai, aren't you?" Tetsurou starts carefully.

The flames flicker capriciously between them, distorting the shadows on their faces.

"What do you mean?" Akaashi responds, defensive.

"You appeared to me," Tetsurou continues. "But there must be a reason. You must be something more than a tree spirit."

"Do you think that I want something from you?" Akaashi shifts closer, their dark eyes fixed on Tetsurou.

"I think so," Tetsurou says, fighting over the lump growing in his throat. "And you want me to play right into your hands."

Akaashi's lips pull into a smile, and this time it sends a shiver down his spine.

"Well, do you want something from me too, Kuroo-san?"

They're leaning over Tetsurou, leering.

"If I do, won't I be playing right into your hands?" Tetsurou challenges against their oppressive presence.

It wasn't a game he could win.

 

Akaashi pushes him onto his back with the heel of their palm, shifting to straddle his hips. Tetsurou stills. Even if he tries to bite back, his body would give over.

A Youkai - an attractive, bewitching and mysterious supernatural being. Tetsurou thinks of stories of having his soul stolen; his heart carved from his chest.

Akaashi leans over him, their hands cupping his face.

"Do you want my life?" Tetsurou asks weakly.

Akaashi rests their foreheads together in lieu of a reply. Tetsurou's heart is a battling drum in the cage of his chest. He hates that he can't tell apart what he feels and what Akaashi is making him feel. If they liked, Akaashi could brush their hands together and send Tetsurou's heart rate spiking. It made him feel fictitious; that every pulse and prickle of his skin was an act in a bigger play. Or maybe, it brought him a little closer to Akaashi, who moved without a human heart.

Akaashi closes their eyes, and Tetsurou squeezes his own shut as well. Their fingers chase the shape of Tetsurou's jaw, raising goosebumps in their path. Akaashi's weight rests against Tetsurou's stomach and hips, and he feels their thighs press softly against his side. Tetsurou's hands are clenched fists at his side, his body insufferable but still, a victim laid bare before higher power.

Akaashi grazes their lips against the flush of his cheek.

"You're gonna kiss me before you kill me?" Tetsurou scoffs, despite the strain in his voice. "How sweet."

"Aren't you afraid?" Akaashi mumbles against his skin.

"Does it matter to you?" Tetsurou counters, peeking at them.

He isn't sure if it was a trick of the light - a distortion played by the flickering flames; but he catches the slightest shift in Akaashi's demeanor. A crease in their brow, a distasteful turn of their lips.

Akaashi's touch travels down to his neck. His skin flushes, pin prickles rising to the surface as Tetsurou thinks about his neck snapping under those deft fingers, of Akaashi drinking his blood. Akaashi's hands trail onto his chest, tracing the curve of his sternum. As his chest tightens, Tetsurou thinks of the cage of his ribs being torn open, of Akaashi carving out and kissing his heart. His blood would stain their skin, the forest floor, Akaashi's lips. Tetsurou raises a hand, slipping it into Akaashi's hair.

His life, fading by Akaashi's lips. Kuroo Tetsurou, bones at the foot of a hundred-year-old tree. A missing person; a lost memory card.

"I don't mind," he says.

Akaashi surprises him by pulling away. "What?"

Tetsurou touches their face.

"You're beautiful."

Akaashi sits up.

"Why are you-" Their face twists into a scowl. "Why are you so stupid?"

Tetsurou smiles, a pained grimace because the pressure in his chest hurts. Still, it's worth something for the conflict that flickers over Akaashi's face before they move off of him.

Tetsurou sighs in relief as the intensity of Akaashi's presence finally fades.

Akaashi moves away, settling across from him instead.

 

The sky had grown dark - shadows pulled long against their figures until they melted into the darkness. There is hardly a light for Tetsurou's eyes, other than the small flame between them.

"Will you kill me in my sleep?" Tetsurou asks.

A short pause hangs between them, until Akaashi's answer comes through.

"No."

Tetsurou lays down on his side, resting his head against the slump of his backpack.

"You believe me?" Akaashi says, incredulous.

"What's the point of asking if I don't?" Tetsurou retorts. "Besides, there's nowhere I can go when it's this dark."

Akaashi withdraws, fingers curling into their lap.

Tetsurou watches the flames dance, embers glowing around the tinder. The ordeal had made him tired and after darkness settled over them, Tetsurou doesn't really care about demons, or magic.

"I really don't want anything from you, Akaashi," he says softly.

He closes his eyes when there's no reply. For a few minutes he hears nothing but the gentle crackling of fire, a steady and soothing rhythm. Then, he hears shifting, and peeks open his eyes.

Akaashi is rising to their feet, walking away from their spot. A few moments later, Tetsurou hears and feels them settle against his back. For a moment his breath stills, but his heart rate doesn't spike erratically, so he knows this time Akaashi isn't doing anything to him. Maybe they are tired, too.

"Do you like humans?" Tetsurou quips, the question coming to his mind abruptly.

"Not particularly," Akaashi answers from behind him.

"...what do you do to them?"

The hand against his back pulls away.

"I'm sorry," they respond.

It's not like Tetsurou can't put together Akaashi's intents. They must have drawn other humans here, with their charm or with their magic, before laying claim to their lives. He isn't sure of how exactly, but the bleached bones resting in the earth is enough to tell him that they don't walk away.

And now, this youkai of sultry smiles and touches that raised both goosebumps and heart rates is apologising.

Tetsurou shifts to look at them, but Akaashi presses a quick hand against his shoulder, halting him.

"They always want something," Akaashi begins. "They want me to grant their wishes; they want me for my looks, my magic."

There's a certain sense of vulnerability in their voice, like something before had fallen away.

"No one has ever thanked me, and wanted nothing from me." Akaashi pauses, leaning to rest their head between the blades of Tetsurou's shoulders. "You were the first to treat me with kindness, showing me things and speaking to me as if I had been human, too. You made me realise how lonely I had been, all this time."

Tetsurou listens, speechless. Akaashi's hand slips and curls around his side, a gesture that seemed both coy and desperate. Tentatively, Tetsurou reaches around to hold them, and Akaashi tangles their fingers together. There was no magic, no supernatural stirrings to the contact. They strike a delicate balance, punctuated only by the steady rhythm of Tetsurou's heart.

"Thank you," Akaashi breathes, curling to press against his back.

Tetsurou's chest feels inexplicably heavy. His mind cycles through countless words - of comfort, assurance; of something. But they only fall flat, dying behind his lips. Instead, Tetsurou keeps a determined hold on Akaashi's fingers, even though they are cold to the touch. Eventually, his eyes fall close to the glow of slow dancing embers and Tetsurou slips into a deep slumber.

 


 

The fire is gone when he awakes. Like the previous night, it had probably gone out sometime after Tetsurou fell asleep. Tetsurou moves his arm, stretching off the stiffness. Then he remembers the hand curled against his side, and the person pressed against his back. Tetsurou takes their hand into his own.

"Akaashi," he calls out softly.

There's no answer, but they must still be asleep. Tetsurou continues lying on his side, running his thumb gently over their knuckles.

Sometime later, there's a soft groan and Tetsurou turns around to face them.

"Awake now?" He teases, touching Akaashi's face.

Tetsurou feels like they've grown a little closer; exposed themselves to each other a little. But he's still afraid to put his hand on Akaashi's waist or to tug them closer. He's probably still afraid to stare into their eyes, even.

"Mhm," Akaashi hums, cupping Tetsurou's hand to their face.

Akaashi looks exhausted. It's the first word Tetsurou can pin to their face. Their eyes are dark and heavy; the colour in their skin dulled.

"You okay?" Tetsurou frowns.

They're cold. Akaashi has been cold since last night - or maybe Akaashi has always been a little colder, but Tetsurou was only making the observation now.

"Kuroo-san," Akaashi speaks, the sound strained in their throat.

"Hey, what's happening?" Tetsurou sits up, pulling their tired and heavy body to lean against his chest.

"It always runs out..." Akaashi mutters slowly. It sounds like a feverish mumble, like the slur of words that fall from Tetsurou's mouth when he sweats out a fever, thinking he might die.

Was Akaashi going to die?

"Wait, what do you mean?" Tetsurou panics. Maybe their life, like Tetsurou's own, was limited. Maybe they had not only harvested their magic from their victims, but also their lives.

"You were supposed to take my life, but you stopped."

"I didn't want to," Akaashi responds with a weary smile.

Tetsurou wants to pry the long, unfair reasons from their lips. He wants them to turn selfish, to turn hungry, to act like a goddamn youkai-

"You're the first person who will remember me, Kuroo-san."

 

He feels sick. Tetsurou had been ready to play into their hands, to have his thin life at their lips. Akaashi Keiji was his dream within a dream. But they were forcing him back. He can't have it as easy as running blind, into the caress of a neverending forest. He can't be bones in the ground when he still has a petty, childish want.

He wants them to live. He wants this fleeting summer dream to last.

Tetsurou realises with a start that they may not even leave a body in the ground or bones to bury. He doesn't trust the camera to catch them, even if he's always trusted the vivid colours that bled through the lens. Heck, he doesn't even trust his mind to hold the memory well, or carefully enough. He doesn't want Akaashi on film, or even selfishly in his head, when all memories distort with time.

How can Akaashi trust him to remember them?

 

"No," Tetsurou says - in retaliation, in desperation. "I won't remember well enough."

They've gone quiet, eyelids pressed cold against their skin.

He holds them against his chest, pressing his face into the crook of their neck. It was nauseating how weak they had grown - that a something of myths could fall to rest, mortal in his arms.

 

Tetsurou thinks of CPR; he thinks of fairytales and cliche kisses of life. He pulls back to look at them. Beauty still clings to them, in the dark lashes rested against the shadows of their eyes and the part of their tender lips. Maybe Akaashi wasn't a demon who would tear his ribcage open to hold his heart and drink his blood. Maybe the breath of Tetsurou's life could be drawn out through the part of his lips.

Tetsurou cups their face in his hands, his fingers curled around their jaw.

His heart is hammering in his chest, ceaseless like his stubborn and unyielding life.

He leans down to bring their lips together.

 

The initial touch of Akaashi's lips is lukewarm. Tetsurou moves, prying their lips apart to push his tongue into their mouth. He kisses at their mouth, their teeth - slow, but desperate. Then, arms are wrapping around his neck, pulling him in and Akaashi is kissing back firmly. A sigh of relief pulls from Tetsurou's chest as he moves to tangle his hands in Akaashi's hair.

Tetsurou wants and wants. It's intoxicating, the way it feels like Akaashi is tasting his lips and his mouth and his life tangled between their teeth. In the moment, Tetsurou doesn't care if his heart beats for Akaashi Keiji. He doesn't care if this is how they steal his life away, although Tetsurou can hardly call it stealing when he wants to give and give. This is the closest he gets - splinters of dreams between his fingers; summer and its rushing end. Akaashi pushes him back, but not before the numbness turns over his muscles.

"Kuroo-san..." He hears, before he's falling forward into darkness.

 


 

Tetsurou hears sirens. He's only half-conscious, barely there in his body.

"Sir, can you hear me?" An urgent voice asks.

It's dark, hours after sunset. Tetsurou can't be sure where he is, but with the lack of trees crowding the sky, he must be outside the forest.

What about Akaashi?

"Get an IV running, he's dehydrated."

His body is heavy like lead, and even keeping his eyes open is a struggle. He passes out again.

 


 

Tetsurou is following the trail, dead leaves crunching under the sole of his boots. It's been two months since summer had passed, sudden and raging like a storm. Naturally, autumn follows, turning the leaves brown and leaving the trees bare.

"Kuroo, why did'cha have to come out here when it's this cold?" A whine sounds from behind him.

Tetsurou is never allowed to be out alone anymore. Especially not in the forest. He had been lost for more than 24 hours, before being found weak and dehydrated. It really only took an IV and some supplements for him to recover, but the experience was enough to put a dent in their trust.

"Stop complaining, Bokuto," Tetsurou calls back. "I'll buy you some hot coffee when we get back."

"I don't like coffee," Bokuto pouts, but follows diligently after his friend.

"Then I'll get you something you like," Tetsurou continues. He stops beside a large tree, reaching into his bag. "Like warm milk, for the baby that you are."

"Hey!" Bokuto barks.

 

This isn't the right tree, Tetsurou knows. He knows that it lies further in the forest, much deeper than the trail will ever go. But today, Tetsurou can only come this far.

He retrieves an envelope - packed full of developed photographs and carefully sealed.

Is it too hopeful of him? It feels like nothing but a wistful throw in the dark to quell his sentiments.

Tetsurou leaves the envelope at the foot of the tree before rising to his feet.

"You came here to do that?" Bokuto quips, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yea, shuddap," Tetsurou says without bite, bumping their shoulders as they turn back.

The forest has changed in autumn, but it still feels heavy with a presence of its own. Branches stretch high towards the sky, breaking up sunlight and casting shadows on the trail. Tetsurou focuses on following the heavy footfalls of his friend; he shouldn't stop, even if he hears the distant trickle of a stream or catches the white of a kimono. He has to leave the forest, and his half-dreamt fantasy behind.

 


 

"Crap, Kuroo, it's the bus!" Bokuto exclaims, breaking into a run.

"What-" Tetsurou stumbles after him, starting a sprint despite his own protests. "We can wait for the next one!"

"No way I'm freezing my ass-" Bokuto stops to suck in a breath. "-out here for thirty minutes!"

Tetsurou grumbles as he follows after Bokuto, breaking in an all-out sprint over the hundred metres to the bus-stop.

 

They barely make it onto the bus, clambering through the door right before it closes. Tetsurou thanks the driver while Bokuto collapses into the nearest seat.

"Safe!" He huffs out.

Tetsurou rolls his eyes, dropping their fare into the box. He looks up, and his breath nearly stills.

Near the back of the bus, there's a passenger with dark, messy hair and sharp eyes. Really, it could just be anyone. Tetsurou had been catching glimpses of ghosts the past few months, but nothing calls out to him like this - like them.

He moves down the aisle to the back of the bus.

"Hey Kuroo, you aren't going to sit here?" Bokuto calls out.

"Not next to your smelly feet," Tetsurou rebuts noncommittally, continuing down the row.

His heart starts up an erratic rhythm the closer he gets, but he fights against it, pushing his feet forward.

They look up - sharp eyes and the soft curve of lips, just as he had remembered. There's a playful glint in their eyes before their lips quirk into a smile.

"Akaashi?" Tetsurou starts, the air rushing out of his lungs.

They have a plain blue button-up, black slacks and a brown coat on. It's so civilian - they're even wearing shoes.

"Don't you believe in fairytales, Kuroo-san?" They say.

"It worked." Tetsurou blinks dumbly.

"It did," Akaashi echoes, nodding.

Tetsurou moves to throw his arms around them. Akaashi presses back instantly, arms snaking around his sides.

"It must be different when it's given," they say, nestled against Tetsurou's shoulder. "Thank you, Kuroo-san."

"You won't disappear again?" Tetsurou asks.

"No," Akaashi assures, their hands tightening over Tetsurou's jacket. "I'd like to stay."

 

Tetsurou doesn't care if Akaashi scatters the steady rhythm of his heart, of if they shorten the years of his life. It doesn't matter if it was really love, or just the beginnings to their chances. The forest is pieces in a memory card, his feverish summer dream packed away. Myths die with the chilly breath of autumn but in Tetsurou's arms, Akaashi Keiji is trembling with mortality.

Notes:

There's some art for this fic as well, you can see it here

You can catch me on tumblr