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Debut years and they were both sure that they hit things right away, as fast their music and band were rising on the charts. Byun Baekhyun for one, was awfully sure his development of friendship with Park Chanyeol is faster than their popularity growing every week, wherein theirs just took one night to get them closer. They just clicked and no one ever questioned how or why that even happened because, it just did.
No, it did not took them by storm nor it was an odd amazement but everything felt too natural around each other. How Baekhyun smiled widest when Chanyeol films him on camera, takes pictures of him, or another moment when the rapper looks too insane, laughing too hard on the vocalist’s weirdest humor lines. Eye crinkling, lips plump and wet, teeth blinding and the mirth everywhere was too evident to be ignored.
Moonlight streaming through the window, with soft breeze of summer wind blowing the curtains, Baekhyun and Chanyeol shared one room and no, they don’t really mind it at all. In fact when it was the most comfortable thing they find first, feeling that every piece of everything was falling into right where it belongs. Silence was never their thing but that night was strangely enticing, enough to seal their lips tight and create not one ruckus like the usual.
Baekhyun lies down the bed on his right side, facing Chanyeol who was lying down fully on his back, eyes wandering up on their plain, seemingly, interestingly looking ceiling. The older watched Chanyeol’s eye lids flutter every once in a while. With Baekhyun’s arm outstretched outside the bounds of his beds and Chanyeol’s one free arm invitingly close to the vocalist, a strange feeling ensues.
In the dim light of their room, Chanyeol looked rather different. A good, nice kind of different.
A bubble of temptation rises to Baekhyun’s chest suddenly and he feels lightheaded, knowing how Chanyeol is painfully, hyperaware that the other was watching him. An inaudible soft gasp escapes as Baekhyun felt and realized. He lets the butterflies inside his stomach settle down in a while.
Chanyeol side eyes him, his lips curling into a small smile and he returns his gaze back up to the ceiling again.
That night, Baekhyun fell into a dreamless sleep, with Chanyeol’s hands encased warmly around his. It might not be the most comfortable position to sleep in, but Baekhyun woke up the following day not feeling any ache in his arm.
Yet the traces of warmth intertwined around his hand was a thing lingering still on his skin that morning.
After the afternoon rehearsals, they were given the rest of the day for a break that they deserved. It was not the most usual that this occurs but when it does, they spend the rest of twelve p.m. onwards lazing around, sleeping till midnight or going out to some of the secluded café’s around town.
Baekhyun and Chanyeol were left alone for themselves that day, choosing to stay indoors instead of going out with the rest to some place. It was by the subtle afternoon glow, when the duo settles down to watch something together by their television.
Sitting side by side, Baekhyun then again gets the strange feeling that bugs him, his palms open atop his outstretched legs as Chanyeol loudly chews on his popcorn as they watch the same movie for the nth time, they both lost count on how long they have been repeating it. His gaze gradually strays from the television to Chanyeol’s right free hand, looking a little too inviting as it was just there by the space between them in the sofa, resting. Baekhyun felt his fingers twitch, and his eyes do the same and Chanyeol stops chewing loudly to stare at his eyes that stared at Chanyeol’s hands.
Gasping a little too sharply, Baekhyun coughs on his saliva, a hand covering his mouth when he feels the tears coming from coughing too much. Chanyeol shot up and was about to grab some water when he gripped Chanyeol’s wrist.
At that, he felt embarrassed and he does not know why but the heat crawling on his neck was too overwhelming to ignore.
Chanyeol whips his head back to look at Baekhyun who was furiously shaking his lowered head. God knows why he cannot look up to Chanyeol’s eyes at that moment.
“I’m okay. Just a little … stupid.”
“Are you sure?” Chanyeol asks and Baekhyun feels the veins around the taller’s wrists as he nods. Chanyeol took one step back, and Baekhyun still not letting go of the rapper’s wrist, strangely having that gut feeling that don’t fucking let go of it.
Confused, paralyzed and with head still down, looking at his lap with utmost “interest”, Chanyeol slides back on his seat, this time with no space in between them and he moves Baekhyun’s hand.
Baekhyun felt a prick on his heart from that, eyes straying away to look at the farthest corner of the room, only to feel thick, calloused fingers gradually and gently enclosing around his.
What the fuck is happening.
No sooner he felt Chanyeol’s free hand pat him gently by the crown of his locks and no sooner, guiding his head until Baekhyun felt Chanyeol’s broad, warm shoulders touching his head. The feeling was overwhelmingly comfortable, heart pounding and racing, hands sweating coldly and his toes scrunching beneath his slippers. There was this breath that he failed to notice that he was holding and was finally released when he hears Chanyeol chewing away again on popcorn.
Except that this time around, his head was on Chanyeol’s shoulders and his hand finds Chanyeol’s again.
Year 2015 was a rollercoaster for them. Not exactly the happiest moments of their life and it was worse than the ups and downs. It was constantly on below, the rumors of Baekhyun’s dating scandal breaking out an initial blow to everything that blew up his and Chanyeol’s building up momentum of “friendship”. The moment the news broke out on the internet, Chanyeol eyes his phone blankly, the news of Baekhyun and Taeyeon’s dating confirmed on his screen.
That exact day was not exactly the most peaceful, after finding out that the other members knew ahead of him, that he was the only person unaware of whatever was happening inside their group. It fueled him, fire growing with every second as he await for Baekhyun’s arrival since he had a separate schedule that day than the rest of the members.
When he got home, slipping off his shoes and kicking them off, Baekhyun stumbles on Chanyeol on their living room, arms crossed over his chest and eyes blank.
It clicked when Chanyeol shoots him a sharp glare and Baekhyun does not even flinch because he knew that the news was scheduled to be released that day, not to mention, he hid it from the person that opened up his heart to the rest of the group.
“I’ve got nothing to explain, Yeol-ah.” Baekhyun murmurs, his eyes not meeting Chanyeol.
“Even the fact that I am the last person to know of this, you still have nothing to explain?” Chanyeol stoically refutes, eyes narrowing and lips thinned out in hopes of refraining him from frowning.
Silence greets him as an answer and Baekhyun feels stupid, maybe he should have told Chanyeol that day that he could never tell him because it breaks himself apart to tell him that. He never wanted to do anything with the damned relationship but what was done has been done and he could not reverse back the time to when it was just … him and Chanyeol.
Baekhyun could have shouted that he was liking Chanyeol more than intended, that all these hand touching thing through years was confusing as hell because they would not even clarify it themselves to each other but Baekhyun kept mum, lips pursed and tears dancing by the corners of his eyes.
With his head down, he did not see Chanyeol approaching him, gradually coming close to him to painfully slowly intertwine their hands together. Chanyeol brings up a hand to Baekhyun’s chin, forcing the smaller to look at him in the eyes.
“You could have trusted me more, Baekhyun-ah.” Chanyeol said, lips and eyes quivering and then he turns away, their fingers slipping away from each other and Baekhyun swore;
The feeling of Chanyeol’s warm hands slipping away from his was a thing he loathed to feel.
Yet most of all, he hated himself for putting a frown on Chanyeol’s lips and tears on the corner of his eyes.
That day, they never shared the same room again.
They cried, and this time, they did so separately.
What drew them closer after everything that happened was a hard thing to comprehend and sink in. What stuck in Baekhyun’s head that night was they are probably never going to work everything again, even it was just a portion of friendship to be salvaged, but life does not work that way. Or so he thinks.
First quarter of year 2016, it was surprising that Chanyeol was the first one to come inside his quarters, to talk to him, about everything and nothing. Magic was when they thought they could not put behind what happened back then. Yet they proved it wrong again when that night, Baekhyun hesitantly apologized, indirectly doing so and Chanyeol simply shook his head.
“Let’s work back on it again?” Chanyeol says, smiling softly and pulling Baekhyun’s hand on his, wrapping that one petite hand with his two calloused and thick ones. He puts it near his heart, bowing slightly, as if he was praying, then proceeding to kiss their hands together. He gazes back again on Baekhyun’s eyes and tears were spilling.
“Can we, Baekhyunnie?”
Baekhyun hiccups but he cuts everything shorter and leans himself on Chanyeol as he nodded furiously, burying his head against the taller’s chest.
For the first time in years, they slept on the same bed, wrapped in each other’s arms.
It was the most pleasant feeling, Baekhyun concludes as he was unconsciously smiling in his sleep.
Year 2017, where everything was back on track.
Rehearsals were still as strict as ever, rumors still spilling every now and then.
Out from the corner of everyone’s eyes, as they took a break that day, Chanyeol slipped his hands again on Baekhyun’s, gradually pulling their hands and taking it inside his sweater’s jacket.
They smiled at each other, unknowing of the smiles the other members also had on their lips.
But maybe their relationship was nothing like before, nothing short of less. It was more than what they have.