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Yoongi doesn’t like to think he’s all that petty. Sure, if Seokjin “accidentally” dyes all his underwear various shades of spotted pinks (“it was an oversight, Yoongi! My red shirt just happened to blend into your load of whites. It could happen to anyone!”), Yoongi would “accidentally” throw out that piece of cake Seokjin had been saving for his cheat day (“It was moldy! Do you really think I’d let you eat that and get sick? Absolutely not!”). It was technically true. He would never let Seokjin do stupid shit that would get himself hurt or sick, but it had more to do for the sake of Yoongi’s sanity. Sickly Seokjin is the world’s worst patient. Bossiness and neediness amped up to overload levels and Yoongi can only take so much complaining from him before he spikes Seokjin’s echinacea tea with whatever sleeping pills Hoseok had dropped off in their mailbox that one time attached with a “don’t give him more than two pills every 12 hours xD” post-it wrapped around the bottle in place of its label.
Whatever. That’s beside the point. Point being, Yoongi is definitely not that petty (shut up!). However, he wakes up the morning after their first anniversary of being a married couple to an empty bed and the ever-familiar compulsion of wanting to shove Kim Seokjin into a pool filled with starving sharks while pulling up a lawn chair with that cake Seokjin saves for his cheat day to enjoy the show.
Yoongi spent the previous day holding his breath in anticipation because maybe, just maybe, Seokjin would’ve remembered it was their anniversary. With that ridiculous outdated day planner he carries around how couldn’t he? Seokjin’s biggest pet peeve is being late or forgetting a previous commitment. He’s super anal about it and has never forgotten an event and the only times he’s ever been late were cause of circumstances he couldn’t control so they don’t count. But the longer the day dragged on without so much as an indication that his idiot husband had something planned the more irritated Yoongi got. He went to sleep that night with the promise of retaliation the next day.
Six! They’d celebrated six anniversaries together so far and Seokjin isn’t one to expect grand gestures or lavish gift exchanges, and Yoongi loves him for that, but he had given Yoongi so much attitude when Yoongi had accidentally forgotten their fourth one. Their two subsequent anniversaries Seokjin had also been anything but subtle in reminding Yoongi their special day was coming up.
The year before, the pair had decided that would be the last time they’d celebrate their anniversary of starting dating and switch to just celebrating their wedding anniversary. The dates were only weeks apart anyway so it didn’t really matter. And look, Yoongi doesn’t so much care about celebrating a random day they had chosen to legalize their relationship, what irked him was that it was the first celebration of this specific random day and Seokjin had given him so much shit the last three years over forgetting their other anniversary. Yoongi was ready to be a passive-aggressive prick the whole damned day so that when Seokjin finally snapped and angrily asked him what his problem was, Yoongi would throw Seokjin’s mistake in his face… and then, of course, proceed in continuing being the same asshole each anniversary for the rest of their lives as Seokjin had been about their past three.
Rustling from somewhere in their apartment let Yoongi know that Seokjin was still home and Yoongi angrily threw off the covers and stomped down the hall. He made out that Seokjin was in the kitchen but before he reached him the sight in their living room stopped him stiff. What the hell? Yoongi gaped.
Seokjin had laid out their expensive tablecloth and china they had received as wedding gifts on their coffee table. There were mimosas and what smelled like freshly baked bread and Seokjin’s famous origami bunny napkins placed neatly in the center of the plates. Yoongi wasn’t sure what was going on but he suspected it had to be Seokjin’s way of apologizing for forgetting their anniversary. He must’ve known he fucked up since he had yet allowed the use of any of their expensive wedding gifts so this had to be his special way of saying I’m sorry.
“Oh! You’re up! Good,” Seokjin piped, popping out from their kitchen, far too chipper and without a trace of remorse. Pushing Yoongi out of the way, Seokjin placed a covered dish on the table as all Yoongi could do was stare at him incredulously because he still wasn't exactly sure what was happening. When he turned back around Yoongi momentarily registered Seokjin was still in his pajamas as he watched him wipe his hands on his apron before reaching up to wrap a hand around the base of Yoongi’s neck and leaning down to place a kiss on his lips. If he’s honest, Yoongi kind of hated how soft and stupid he still got when Seokjin kissed him because whenever Seokjin’s lips connect with his he somehow always managed to forget the rest of the world existed. If he’s being even more honest with himself he only says he hates it because it still scared him a little how one tiny action had such an effect on him.
“I can’t believe I’ve put up with your ass for seven years now,” Seokjin hummed after pulling away and breaking Yoongi from his stupor. It took a moment longer for Yoongi to register what he said but as soon as it hit him Yoongi realized what’s actually going on. “Happy anniversary, Yoongi.” Yoongi couldn't help but laugh in disbelief.