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He could barely see the road infront of him, it was that dark outside. The heavy, dark clouds blocked the light from the moon and the stars and all he saw was pitch black around him and he could just about make out his feet as he walked. He finally made it up to the large bridge where the streetlights made it easier to walk and see where he was going.. well, if he had known where he was going.
The rain was pouring down and had long since soaked through his tattered converse and every single piece of clothing. If he didn't know better he could have sworn it had soaked through his entire body and he was drenched, surrounded by that cold, sippring into his very core, his every bone. He heard rumbles of thunder in the far distance, too far away to be of any danger and he enjoyed the sound of the storm.
When he had reached about mid way of the famous London bridge he stopped, placing his hands on the chilled railing and looked out at dark water as far as he could see. On the dark horizon he could make out lightning that lit up the sky when it hit and then the thunder rumbled many seconds later. The water was rippling beneath his feet from the heavy rain, almost creating waves from the heavy drops.. It was fascinating.
Cars were zooming across the bridge beneath him, his surroundings now bathed in light from cars, the city and nearby streetlights; But all he could see was the dark, deep waters alive far below him and the dark, heavy sky rumbling above him. How little he seemed in that moment, surrounded by things so much more powerful than him, so much bigger than him. He was just one tiny human on this tiny planet in this tiny solar system in this tiny universe. What was the point of it all, waking up every day to live a life so meaningless and minor and try to feel good about himself. He was nothing, he was pointless and he didn't make any sort of difference in any single part of the world.. especially not the universe.
He was lost in his thoughts and had completely missed the tears streaming silently down his cheeks and that he had moved closer to the railing, now pressing his chest against the iron bar and looking down into the dark, wild waters. He could jump and be nothing but another one of the drops disturbing the ocean. He would break the surface and that would be the only evident sign of his action, it would disappear within a heartbeat and nothing in the world will have changed.
He moved his feet to stand between the metal bars of the tall railing and held onto the edge lightly, looking towards the horizon but the lightning and thunder was gone, instead the sky was slowly growing lighter by the minute and he quickly grew mesmerized by it. Colours of dark pink and purple started showing near the horizon as it grew even lighter, making it possible to see buildings and the sky.. the sky that was now growing clear from the heavy storm clouds and the rain had stopped. It stopped so suddenly that he felt surprised for a long while as he watched the horizon with dazed eyes. The tears had long since washed away with the last rain and was now part of the massive ocean just like he had planned to be.
The sky kept clearing, now showing signs of orange and yellow by the far away horizon and he exhaled slowly as he watched. The city was growing light, more and more buldings showing, then trees and finally cars driving around the city. Before he realized it, the first rays of sunlight started glittering across the water and a new day formed across London right before his eyes.
The sun glittering across the water, the clear sky shimmering in orange and yellow and the city waking up right infront of him had him slide to the ground of the bridge and he sobbed brokenly into his folded arms, resting on top of his knees. The reality of what he was going to do crashed down upon him as he shuddered in a curled up ball on the ground, leaning against the railing.
How could he leave it? The world, his family, his friends, his life.. how could he think he could leave it when the world was full of so much beauty? The change from storm to beautiful day was so sudden and it made him realize that everything in life was equally changeable and that new day literally felt like an entirely new beginning. The sun rose slowly behind him and brough an infinite amount of strength and insight with it for that new day full of possibilities. He could not live his life to be a part of the universe, it was too much for anyone to handle.. He needed to live his life for himself and make the best of this opportunity. Surely he could make a small dent in the world before his time was up and it would all be worth it for that fraction of an inch of change here on this earth in this solar system in this universe.. That was all any of them could do.