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"Well I came upon a man at the top of a hill
Called himself the savior of the human race
Said he came to save the world from destruction and pain
But I said how can you save the world from itself"
- Through The Valley
She never thought she'd see the bright, clean lights of an Initiative vessel ever again, let alone walk the decks. Yet here she was, aboard Hyperion, the Human Ark, or what was left of it, shoulder busted during the fight, but still standing, and with an uncanny sense of accomplishment pumping through her veins.
Sloane though she had long forgotten that feeling; that survival and spite would be the only fuel left to propel her.
She checked her gun out of habit and clipped the armor on her arm - things that kept her mind busy while waiting at the landing bay for her ticket out of that place.
Being here, surrounded by the Initiative and with a taste of victory on everyone's lips, including her own, made her feel uneasy. It was a distant feeling of dread and helplessness that reached her like an echo from the last weeks spent on the Nexus. She looked around at the people and took in the atmosphere filled with hope and jubilation, but the taste of blood filled her mouth and the smell of smoke and death reached her lungs. She fell prey to the bitterness and rage she had harbored all that time; she could never forget; the waiting, the despair of those people abandoned by fate on board of Nexus, still hoping with everything they had that one of the arks would show up; that one of the Pathfinders would come through with a solution. But the bastards never came. Not one of them. This… all of this should have happened then. Not now.
She let a low hiss and closed her eyes. Sloane knew it was the anger in her talking. Some of those Pathfinders didn't even make it. The arks faced horrors of their own. But she couldn't help it.
The woman didn't want to spend enough time there to cross paths with Tann. She would not last long enough without wanting to take justice in her hands and put a bullet in his squishy head. She knew he was around; the entire Nexus board was around. Their ships had arrived a long time ago, but thankfully she had been too busy helping with the aftermath to pay them any mind.
Her ship would be ready for flight any moment. She turned around and walked along the bridge.
It felt so strange to see Initiative militia passing by and nodding curtly her way. It was an automatism, she knew. But nonetheless it held meaning - they acknowledged her as an ally. She was not liked in this place but soldiers she fought with side by side in the field acknowledged her. After everything that happened Sloane had not expected Kandros to split the units to cover for the Pathfinder and leave men under her lead; an exiled; a criminal in the minds of many. Her legs stopped in front of the wide force-field and left her staring at the paradise world outside. They would not be wrong. She had done things that stretched too far the line of morality. But it ensured their survival. And she would do it all again. Maybe a bit more wisely if allowed, but with the same ferocity.
Sloane shook her head and rested her arms on the banister. Die a hero or live long enough to become a villain. Maybe she should accept reality and just move the fuck on.
"It's quite a sight, isn't it?"
She cursed. She had been too deep in her thoughts to notice someone else’s presence. Turning on just one arm the woman glanced behind as the human Pathfinder made her way to her side.
Her eyes were on the scenery ahead of them, giving Sloane the chance to freely stare at her for a moment longer - at this child, with her carefully kept hair and soft skin; at her delicate gestures and small wrists, stepping in shoes that were not tailored for her light steps. Sloane knew never to underestimate a biotic and a powerful biotic this girl proved to be. In all honesty, she wasn’t that bad; she had muscles in all the right places, enough to sprint as if hell was behind her and fight her way through lines of kett. But her shoulders were not broad, nor steady enough to carry the weight of her title. How the fuck could people look at her and expect her to be capable of moving mountains? And yet mountains she moved. Both literally and figuratively.
"That it is." She turned her sights to the green hills, avoiding eye contact, something neither of them was fond of. Sloane had no doubt she was a scary sight and looking into those pretentious grey eyes that spoke of stubborn determination and idealism would have just made her more hostile.
"That it is." She repeated the words as her mind relaxed, lost in the lush world, this hidden paradise they had accidentally stumbled upon. "This is how it should have been." There was a distant bitterness in her voice. "This is what our golden worlds should have looked like."
"We're not at fault." The answer echoed some of her own state of mind. "Maybe this is how the entire cluster looked like 600 years ago. Our readings might as well have been accurate but no one could have predicted the disaster that followed."
Sloane chased away the short moment of weakness that the sight in front of her inspired and regained her cynicism.
"Grim thoughts aside, I believe congratulations are in order. There’s word traveling that humanity has been granted this piece of heaven as home."
The reaction that followed was not what she expected. The Pathfinder’s eyebrows furrowed; her hand twitched on the banister.
"It's dust thrown in the eye. The ark isn't going to fly anytime soon so they used it as an excuse to place us all on a ticking bomb. We barely scratched the surface at understanding the Remnant tech; the Jardaan will one day want this place back and the Kett will hunt it down. Nexus plays the same old political game as the Council did in the Milky Way: humans are resilient, resourceful; grant them something big and let them be in the line of fire. Our place on the Citadel Council, now Meridian." There was a pause and her voice turned on a more wry note. "New galaxy, same bullshit."
Sloane pondered on the words and almost felt stupid for seeing things in that light just now. But then again she was aware that, like the majority, she only knew half of the story. Nonetheless, what Ryder said made perfect sense. She surprised herself by how unimpressed she actually was by these facts and by the snort that escaped her.
"At least you didn't learn that the hard way, princess. Besides," she completely leaned on the banister, something in the conversation tearing through some of the tension "Addison is there. Doesn't she have a word in this?"
"Addison-" she was about to lash out before she caught herself, and Sloane almost wished she had continued that thought "has her heart in the right place. But can easily be swayed in any direction by Tann."
"Pff, means you never stepped hard enough on her tail."
"I don't need an aggravated Addison; when she works on anger she's blindsided and does mistakes. I had enough of that." Her face remainder expressionless but her jaw clenched. "Kesh and Kandros are reasonable but Tann and Addison can easily leave them out of most decisions. I was hoping Kesh would become more confident in her position after I gave more autonomy to the krogans. And that she did, only it was to speak against me when I needed their support." She let a sigh and her head tilted, her eyes never leaving the green valleys. "I'm backing up the Moshae as ambassador even if I am not particularly fond of her. But at least she's enough to keep Tann from crossing more lines and that's all that matters."
"You're so fucking intense" she let a low whistle. "We just defeated that space garbage - give yourself a break. And I don't know why you think I'd care about all this. As far as I'm concerned, Nexus can cannibalize itself and I'd drink myself under the table with content." It was so weird for Sloane to hear herself giving that advice. She of all people would not cut Nexus any slack and if given the chance, she would take them down like rabid dogs. But here she was, playing the good cop with the Pathfinder. Why? She couldn't say. Maybe because it felt unnatural to her to see a kid of 23 strategizing political moves with a maturity that Sloane herself had not been capable of at the right time.
But the girl turned and looked right into her eyes, no filter and no intention. It was her thing: pause, and answer with silence and an impartial expression. There was something both unsettling and reassuring in her gesture and Sloane could not understand why. Ryder was, if anything, an odd one. Her weight shifted from one hip to the other and she broke eye contact with a hum and a tuck at her charcoal hair behind the ear.
"No, you wouldn't." She decided and Sloane was happy not continuing the conversation on a truth they both knew. The victory meant stability in the cluster. And Sloane happened to be on the right side of the fence. She was well aware of it and not stupid. A problem of perspective was that the girl was not stupid either.
The conversation was shortly put on hold as a group of Initiative personnel passed them by, loud, over joyous, intoxicated with alcohol from the celebration held on board the Hyperion.
They recognized the Pathfinder, greeted to the best of their ability and continued along the bridge.
In that shared silence, Sloane enjoyed the fading voices of the group and the faint sound of the working engines around the bay.
"Thank you for answering the call and joining us on the ground."
"Don’t sweat it, Ryder. I didn’t need a ‘thank you’, though it’s appreciated that you sought your way here for that. But it wasn’t a personal favor. When I enter an alliance, I mean it." Normally she would not miss the chance to remind someone that a deal goes both ways; that, when the time would come, they’d better not forget her people stood by the Initiative’s side. But her guts told her there was no need of that. She hoped to God she was not wrong and letting her guard down, but if she was certain of one thing with Ryder it was that the Pathfinder was already well aware of her unspoken thoughts. Sloane never trusted people’s words but she trusted their actions. Two times, two different battles and Ryder got her back without even flinching - not out of kindness but she was ethical in all of her actions. With someone like that, Sloane could work. "Plus, I enjoy kicking some kett ass."
The Pathfinder grinned and glanced at her from the corner of her eye before casually leaning her hip against the banister.
"Noticed. A bit too much. I see you busted you shoulder as soon as I left your side."
She narrowed her eyes but the grin on the woman’s lips was contagious.
"You’re good, Eyon. But not that good."
"Ah, your highness, that almost sounds like a compliment. I’m starting to believe you like me."
Sloane huffed a laugh and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Don't grow any ridiculous idea in that pretty head of yours."
"Careful… there goes another one."
"You're frigging insufferable, you know that Ryder?"
But all she did was smile and shake her head, knowing where to stop their banter. It was something weird and familiar about the moment; about the entire situation as it was. It was a sentiment Sloane hadn’t experienced since the last days before the grand departure, and she was at the very least conflicted, at most unhappy about it. There was no returning to that, she had to remind herself. And no more room for mistakes.
"Pathfinder, there you are!"
They both turned to watch three approaching figures, easy to recognize even if Sloane hadn’t interacted much with any of them. She heard about Ark Leusinia’s fate and of their loss. She always respected Sarissa for her strength and accomplishments but could never agree with her judgment. A pity though, now that both the Pathfinder and the second in command were out of the picture, for someone with so little experience to take their place. Then there was Avitus, someone Kaetus talked about and held in high regards. The title he was wearing now must have brought him enough pain. And ahead of them was the salarian Pathfinder – the only one left from the initial structure. It showed. Not in the sense that she was displaying any smugness – on the contrary. Sloane had met Raeka a few times back in the Milky Way and she had been one of the most humble and grounded individuals she has ever spoken to – but she had a self-restrain about her that came with a responsibility she had always been entrusted with. Sloane liked her, but would never completely rely on her.
"Pathfinder Raeka."
With that Ryder stepped away to greet the group.
"We thought you might have slipped away from the buzz."
"I thought so too." There was a note of resignation in her voice.
"Don’t worry, we won’t keep you long. We know that where there is room for a conversation soon there are more to follow."
A figure stopped at the far end of the bridge and Sloane caught the Outcast outfit. She glanced, nodded at his stand and with a gesture of her head she instructed him to start the engine. She was ready to leave this goddam place.
She looked back at the group not really registering their conversation but something about it caught her full attention and Sloane frowned at an image that overlapped with the one in front of her. The four figures seemed so professional and formal. An acute sense of recognition tugged at her mind and she knew she almost had it. All she needed was to name it. Sloane grinned. She couldn’t help it.
Then, in the midst of that image, the engine of the Outcast Shuttle caught Ryder’s attention. She looked past the turian’s shoulder at the shape of the ship and then glanced at Sloane, catching her grin to which she answered with a quizzical stare. A short nod followed.
That’s when a shiver ran down Sloane’s spine. It was the good kind. The one you get when you have a revelation. Damned I be. She overcame the feeling of deja-vu, nodded back and put her legs into motion, ready to take her leave. Her mind didn’t need to search long after a scene that had taken place a long time ago, in another galaxy entirely but completely similar to this one.
She heard the salarian ask a rather ambitious question about the future, about plans, about what they have discovered at the end of that fight. Sloane didn't believe in big questions as she didn't believe in big, idealistic answers. Not anymore. These dreams have gotten everyone in this big fucking mess. But she closed her eyes and allowed her mind to slip to one particular memory; the excitement of a new adventure, the promise of a fresh start; the faces of many as they were saying their goodbyes, the enthusiasm and zest. She remembered Jien Garson among them, with her magnetic attitude and her reassuring smile. But she also remembered the person near her - the grounding force that made Jien's words truly believable - Alec Ryder, with his unflinching demeanor, statuesque presence and his hard to read expressions. “Let’s get this over with” he was often heard to say “so the real work can start.”
The same shiver ran down her spine again, as the girl’s voice reached her from behind before Sloane made her way further from the group.
'No disrespect Raeka, but I'd rather be on my ship. What we accomplished so far was just to overcome an obstacle. The reason why we’re here, our real work, has just started.'
Sloane snickered but it was more of a failed attempt to chase away that powerful vibration from inside her chest. Fucking hell... Eyon Ryder was truly and wholly Alec Ryder's daughter.
They breathed confidence no matter what their real thoughts were. Their lead inspired hope and determination. People were now expecting from her what Alec had promised because when they looked at her that was what they saw. She was his spitting image. Granted, she was easier to the eyes than the old man, but psychologically there was little difference. At least to her telling; at least from what little she had come to know of both. It was the important part. To their misfortune, they also shared the same flaws - they walked with a cold air that to many read as pride and condescension. They seemed socially disinterested and frankly, emotionally stunned. But that meant nothing to Sloane. She couldn’t argue with their results. They were frigging stubborn and resourceful. That's what mattered. That's what made everyone believe Garson's dream back in the Milky Way, and that's what got everyone out of the nightmare they had woken up to.
She grabbed the metallic edge of the shuttle’s door and hurled herself inside, grateful to be back on her ground.
"Ready?" Her pilot threw over the shoulder, hands still over the control panel.
"Just get me out of here."
Curiosity. That's what she decided to call it and Sloane would not advance that idea any further. So she settled on curiosity.
The ship trembled, getting ready to take off and she welcomed the feeling under her boots. The woman swore not to flirt with that thought but it was already too late. The gates of the bay opened up and her eyes narrowed to adjust to the light as she leaned forward, one hand on the pilot's seat, the other on the console. She was incapable of going back to how things used to be. The big dream was over, torn apart by the Scourge and destroyed at the hands of the very people that should have carried it. But maybe - and she hated herself for falling into Ryder's trap as well - just maybe it was a good choice to stick around at a time like this. If she was not wrong about it maybe one day there was going to be more to their lives in Andromeda than just survival.
"Ma'am there's something I should report before we reach Kadara."
"Speak." She did not like the tone in his voice.
"Our guerrilla fighters have returned a while ago bringing news of everything they saw here... This... planet, the victory. As much as we tried to keep things under lock and key until your return, well... the rumors spread and there was no stopping them or the high spirits from taking over the port. People have been fretting with excitement and have already started to … raise a glass… or two." Several was the word that her pilot muttered in his chin.
"Hn." Her short answer made him uncomfortable and she recognized it by the air he kept in his lungs.
"What should we do about it once we reach Kadara?"
She didn't answer immediately which probably made the waiting heavier for the man.
"We open another round for everyone and we fucking celebrate. Every single last bastard in Kadara Port deserves it."
A short laughter escaped the pilot as the shuttle took off at full speed.
"What’s so funny?"
"I think I just lost a bet." She waited for him to continue. "Kaetus warned us you might say that."
Slone closed her eyes and decided on a proper reaction. But right then and there things were simple. They had won a battle. No; more than one. These worlds were livable again. She smiled in spite of herself. She'll have a word with Kaetus as well but she had to give it to him: he had always been good at reading people. One of them had to like the Pathfinder if their partnership was to continue. She preferred to think it was him.