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Rich shifted nervously on his seat. It was second period history with Ms.Walek who was prone to assigning group projects. Rich wasn't a fan of group projects. He watched as the teacher quieted down the class and began explaining the two main projects that they would be working on this semester.
"In the first project, I've decided to give you liberty to chose your partners" (cheers were heard, Rich felt a knot in his stomach) "and depending on the success of this project, I'll let you chose too for the second project. It's a pair assignment, in which you'll have to prepare a presentation. Whether it's a play, a speech, a power point, a video, etc. The presentation will explain the different pre-Colonisation American civilizations that I'll asign you..." Ms.Walek kept explaining, but Rich couldn't focus on the words anymore. His heart was beating fast, nervous with the prospect of choosing someone to work with.
Rich wasn't the most popular guy. In fact, he was probably the least popular, only second to the sophomore freak who was caught masturbating in class. It's not as if he was bullied, but he may as well be invisible. When he focused again, he saw people getting paired up around him, leaving him alone.
Ms.Walek started asking in alphabetical order who was paired with who, when he got to him Rich's face wasaa red and his fidgeting had gotten worse. "Who are you working with, Mr. Goranski?"
"I, uh, hgnnn. Nobody's left" Rich stuttered, his words coming out more like /nobody'ths left/. A girl giggled in the back. The teacher sigthed, moving on to the next kid. When Ms.Walek had all the pairs down and assigned a civilization to each pair, he ordered them to begin planning the project between their partners. He had purposely ignored Rich, who found himself lost, not knowing what to do.
Just as Rich was about to ask to go to the bathroom (the pathetic-ness of his situation catching up to him) Jake Dillinger entered the classroom. The teacher raised his eyes, and Jake smiled charmingly as he apologized for being late. "There was a new kid lost in the hallway and I had to take them up to the chemistry lab, which is in the other side of the school"
The teacher grumbled something to him. Jake smirked, and as he walked to take his seat Rich looked up and met Jake's eyes. The smaller boy immediately put his head down, picking at the hem of his t-shirt. When he looked up again Mr.Walek was frowning at him, expecting him to do something Rich had no clue about.
"Hey," Jake dropped to the seat besides him, startling him. "Mr.Walek said you'd catch me up and explain the projects? Something about the Mayan civilization?"
Rich's mind was a clusterfuck of _don't make a fool of yourself, don't make a fool of yourself_ because this was Jake Dillinger, the most popular freshman and coolest guy in Rich's eyes. He had never once teased him (or even acknowledged him, Rich reluctantly admitted) and it was rumored he made out with Lisa McClain once, the hottest senior.
"Yes." Stupid thing to say, made worse by his stupid lisp. "We-we have to do two pair projects, the first being about Pre-Colonisation civilizations in America...uh, I guess we're stuck with the Mayans?..and we have to present it to the class."
Rich congratulated himself on barely stammering. Jake nodded "Guess we should start working on this." Then he frowned, "I have no clue on how to being though, at least you're my partner."
The least popular boy grimaced. Some people had the idea that him not speaking a lot (thanks to his embarrassing lisp and stutter) meant he was some kind of pretentious smart kid. In reality, Universal History was probably his worst subject. Even in PE, which was clearly hell on Earth, he was better.
He couldn't bring himself to correct Jake, though. Poor guy already had an embarrassment like him as a project partner, he could at least pretend to be smart. The class continued on, with Jake and Rich awkwardly planning what to do. At some point Jake signaled him to get closer and whispered a joke about Mr. Whalek and his lack of hair and Rich honest-to-god giggled.
What a loser.
---
Jake was chatting with Brooke, something about the new alien movie she watched yesterday, when he noticed the kid he was paired with stiffly walking down the hallway. A ginger junior tripped him with her foot and her friends laughed. Jake felt a tug in his stomach and attributed it to him being empathetic of the situation what-is-his-name Goranski was in. He got up, took the books that had fallen with him and hurried through the hall, breezing past Jake. He couldn't help noticing that besides his red cheeks, he didn't seem as bothered as someone else might feel in the same situation. Almost as if he's used to it, Jake thought, frowning.
He shook his head and focused in Brooke again, who was now animatedly complaining about Madeline.
---
Rich tentatively pushed ajar the door that led into the gymnasium. PE was his last class, and he really wanted to get out of school already. Honestly, he didn't mind exercising that much, it was a good stress-reliever (or so he had read in an article once). But the thought of fucking up and everyone blaming him was a great source of anxiety. You'd think that after so many time going to Middle School and now High School he'dso used to public humiliation that he wouldn't mind it anymore.
They were playing soccer, the class divided in four teams. Ms. Reynolds wasn't one to go easy on them, in the first two rounds two teams would face each other, the winners would go to the finale and the winning team would get an A in the class. The second team would get a B and the last two would get C's.
She named captains, and Jake Dillinger was among them. Rich hoped Jake would take mercy and save him the embarrassment of being the last to pick. IfJake still recognised him he thought he might, after all, they'd gotten along ok in class.
As the capitans began calling names, Rich shared a look with the other two losers of his class: Jeremy and Michael. He was sure that at least, he wouldn't be the last one to be picked, that was always Jeremy. It felt a bit mean to think that of him, but they'd never been friends, and he would never find out either way. In fact, he'd like to get to know them, but their group of two was so tight-knitted he would never be a true part of it, and PE was the only class they shared, so there hadn't been an opportunity.
"You" Jake called, making a gesture with his hand as if to day /come here/. Rich was unsure if he was referring to him, some boys were still left, but stepped forward. Jake smiled and him, and Rich reciprocated hesitantly.
...
Turns out Rachel Gryffin was incredible at soccer, but at least his team managed second place. Jake turned to talk to him, "You played great..."
"Rich" it came in a high squeak.
"Rich." Beat. "I'm Jake" The taller boy then blushed, aware that the other probably knew his name.
"Yeah...I, uh, I know" Rich confirmed his thoughts lamely.
"Here, give me your phone." He explained at the confused stare Rich sent his way. "To put my number in, we'll need to work on the project sometime"
----
They were hanging in Jake's living room, the half-done project next to a half-eaten pizza. They had decided to do a PowerPoint and explain it in school, Jake was going to do most of the talking, though. The way Rich talked was even more difficult to understand with all the pauses and stuttering talking in public provoked.
They were watching Hocus Pocus for shits and giggles. Maybe Jake had offered a beer, and maybe that had snowballed into playing a drinking game Rich had found in Facebook. They were totally drunk.
"For fucks sakes, another salt circus. Eh-circle. Circle salt, pepper circle. Pepper salt?" And apparently Rich was such a light weight. That didn't stop them from taking a shot because of the salt circle. Jake muffled a laugh.
By the end of it Rich was mumbling incoherently and Jake was arguing Maze runners was a Narnia rip-off (he wasn't making a good case out of it) to the guy in the TV infomercial. Jake led rich to the guest room, and both passed out in the floor.
When Rich woke up his first instinct was panicking, he felt gross and sore, some sort of weight was over his chest and he couldn't recognize his surroundings. Then he noticed Jake and smiled.
Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad year after all.
---
It was probably his worst year. Rich made an ass of himself in the presentation, and even a bigger ass of himself when he tried to talk to Jake. His friends were surrounding him, and when Rich mentioned he had forgotten his computer charger at his house because of the hangover, they had called him a liar. /Dillinger. Hanging out with you?/ the guy at Jake's left had said. Jake didn't care to correct them, just gave him the charger silently.
He had cried a bit that night.
After that he excluded himself more, wouldn't participate in class, would eat in the library or cut class. Would lower his eyes every time Jake tried to catch his gaze. Not even the other losers interacted with him. Someone wrote "fag" in his locker, and the consequent freak out reaction ruined his chances of redemption.
By the beginning of June some guy offered a drug, a SQUIP he said. He wasn't interested at first, but when his father laid a hand on him because of his declining grades, he sucked up the courage to steal from his step-mom and buy the damn thing.
A good decision at last, or so it had seemed at the time.
---
"I'm sorry"
Rich looked up at his (ex?) best friend. It wasn't the first time he had come to visit Rich at the hospital, but the first two Rich had an anxiety attack and the doctors took Jake out of the room.
"Why?" A broken word "I'm-I'm the psycho who burne-who committed a-arson."
He shook his head dejectedly, and then elaborated. "Freshman year, I was an asshole.
And-and I saw people bullying you, I-I'm actually guilty...I should've stood up for you many times."
Rich looked sideways, not wanting to deal with that right then. How could Jake be so forgiving? He burned his fucking house down, he broke his legs goddamnit. "It's"
His fucking lisp. Shit. "Fine."
"I'd forgotten about your lisp"
Rich did tear up then. Because him and Jake weren't truly friends, Jake wasn't friends with the real Rich Goranski. Just with the messed up squiped version. He choked up, feeling the anxiety attack coming. The taller boy moved to grab him, but thought better of it when Rich flinched.
"Hey. I'm here. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. It's okay. I'll be okay. You're good, we're good"
Rich calmed down slowly and painfully. Then quietly asked Jake to leave.
---
Rich: Hey. Do you want to hang out? Get some coffee?
Rich: you hate coffee. God, I'm such an awful friend. Maybe tea?
Rich: okay, that's lame.
Rich: [is typing]
Jake: an ice cream would be fine
Jake: :))
Rich sighted in relief. He thought he was ready to properly hang out with Jake again. They'd talked about everything through text, as Rich still felt his chest constrict when facing Jake. They were both in physical therapy still, but Jake could walk in crutches and Rich hadn't had a panic attack in two weeks. Progress, Michael Mell says.
Rich thinks maybe he's finally ready to face the music and get an ice cream with Jake. If he bails last minute he's sure Jake will understand