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It was late again, and Robin wasn't sleeping.
She turned the last page of the book she was reading, taking in the words one at a time as she savored the last lines of a well-written work. It was with reluctance when she finally closed the cover, once more hiding the treasures that lay within from the rest of the world. A quick look at the clock told her it was nearing two o'clock in the morning. Robin knew she was far too old to stay up like this, but she found herself not caring nearly as much as she should have.
It was very easy to be comfortable here. The Straw Hat Pirates, with a few minor exceptions, had given her a surprisingly warm welcome. It would be a trick and a half to win the swordsman over, but he was unflinchingly loyal to his captain. If Monkey D. Luffy wanted Robin aboard, who was Roronoa Zoro to argue?
The only thing that could have improved this arrangement was if Robin could have had her own room. Crocodile spoiled her in that regard, and she found herself missing the privacy his casino offered. This was unfeasible for a number of reasons—the first and greatest being the small size of the Going Merry. Robin knew better than to try to sleep anywhere other than the woman's quarters.
So each night Robin laid her head down on the bed that until recently had been occupied by the princess of Alabasta and tried not to think too deeply into the reason why Straw Hat Luffy accepted her into his crew. At first the navigator was the ideal roommate, knowing almost instinctively when Robin was in the mood for conversation and when it was best to leave her with her own thoughts. This, too, was unexpected, surprisingly pleasant, and made Robin's heart ache a little when she dwelled on the temporary nature of her stay here.
And it would be temporary. Robin knew what signs to look for, and it was impossible to miss the cracks that were already beginning to form under the veneer of hospitality. Three or four days ago the normally sound-sleeping Nami tossed and turned throughout the night, and she hadn't gotten a good night's rest since then. The navigator never once blamed Robin for her sleeping woes—out loud, anyway--but it was clear that the stress of sharing a room with an enemy who specialized in assassination was starting to take its toll.
Perhaps that was why Robin allowed herself to stay up into the small hours of the morning to finish her book, sacrificing her own rest to ease the mind of the navigator. She told herself it was purely pragmatic; the navigator's temper was volatile enough even on the days when her sleep was uninterrupted. Lately even the captain to tread lightly around the sharp-tongued girl, and the longer Robin could play the peacemaker the longer she could stay with this endearingly charming group of pirates.
But this was not the only reason, although to admit it even to herself was frightening. Robin paused at the door of the woman's quarters, using her power to check on Nami's wellbeing. Robin could hear her breathing, steadily and evenly…but not quite deep enough for her to be asleep. For a moment Robin didn't know what to do, until she let out a jaw-popping yawn of her own. She was nearly thirty years old and still recovering from the injuries sustained down in the tombs. It didn't matter if the navigator was still awake, Robin's own needs trumped Nami's comfort.
The door creaked as she opened it, and Robin made a mental note to oil the hinges at the earliest opportunity. A candle flickered on their small desk, bathing the room in a soft, warm glow. Sitting on the edge of the bed was Nami. The navigator was cradling her head in her hands and didn't seem to have heard Robin. Her shoulders slumped in…was that defeat? No, that didn't seem right. Robin paused at the entrance way, trying to untangle the image she was seeing.
The navigator was not crying, although it wouldn't have surprised Robin if she had been a moment ago. Orange hair darkened by sweat and dancing shadows clung to the back of her neck, highlighting the lines of tension that extended down each trapezius and disappearing underneath her loose-fitting shirt. It was the look of someone trying to regather themself after a lapse of control, an image that was hauntingly familiar.
Robin felt a strange urge to sit beside her, to offer her some paltry form of comfort. Robin crushed that feeling ruthlessly, but even as she was ordering her feet to slip quietly away, her treacherous lips dug herself in deeper.
"Miss Navigator?"
Nami jerked upright and tried to spin towards Robin in the same motion. For a moment Robin saw a look of unguarded vulnerability, quickly hidden by her normal smile.
"Robin! I didn't think you'd be coming in tonight."
Robin forced her expression into a neutral mask. She walked to the desk and set her book down, giving the navigator more time to compose herself. Out of the corner of her eye, Robin saw her wipe her eyes hastily with the back of her hand.
If her presence was upsetting Nami this badly, it was best to find out now before more disastrous consequences could arise. "I didn't think you'd be up," Robin probed carefully.
"It's stupid," the navigator said. She laughed a broken little laugh and ran her hands through her hair. Robin waited for her to say more, but nothing came.
"Bad dreams?" Robin guessed.
Nami grimaced. "That obvious?"
"A little." Robin sat down at the desk, lowering herself to Nami's height to foster a feeling of trust while still maintaining a safe distance. And that's how it always was, wasn't it? Robin doing everything in her power to get them to trust her, while not being able to trust in return.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Robin asked. It seemed obvious to her that the navigator did, although something was holding her back. Robin was suddenly reminded of their first interaction with one another, how wary the navigator had been before Robin bribed her with a portion of Crocodile's treasure.
She also remembered how the younger girl had called her "sister" after that, how Robin had treasured the term of endearment despite herself. Surely the navigator had been exaggerating, perhaps even lying in her acceptance of a former enemy. That didn't stop Robin from wanting to help her now.
"You'll laugh," Nami said. "Big girls aren't supposed to have bad dreams, right?"
Robin stiffened as if slapped. "Everyone has nightmares sometimes," she said quietly.
Nami looked up at her for the first time, surprised. The candlelight cast deep shadows over her face, darkening her expression and making it difficult to understand what she was thinking. Her hands bunched up in the sheet that lay across her lap, and she dropped her gaze.
The air was heavy with awkward silence and hidden secrets. Robin was about to give up and change for bed when the navigator's shoulders slumped even farther.
"Today's the day my mother died," she said. "It's the first time I've been away from home. My sister and I would go to her grave together, but I'm way out here and she's on Cocoyashi, and…" Nami's voice cracked, and she buried her face in her hands. "It's stupid, because Luffy beat Arlong and we're free now, but I miss her."
Whatever Robin had expected, it wasn't that. She'd pieced together enough of the Straw Hat's story to satisfy her curiosity, and knew that Luffy had liberated Nami's home village from a group of fishmen out in the East Blue. She hadn't realized that Nami's mother had been one of the casualties of their brutal rule. The revelation struck a little too close to home, and she felt a surge of empathy for the young navigator.
"I'm sorry," Robin said. "I had no idea."
"I didn't want to tell anybody," Nami said, sniffing piteously. "It was a long time ago, and I wouldn't be anywhere else but here with you guys, but…" her voice trailed off into nothingness.
"You miss her," Robin supplied. "That's perfectly normal. You have no reason to apologize."
"I know that, but sometimes it doesn't feel that way." Somehow she managed to crack a smile. "But you found out anyway. Thanks for not saying anything to the guys earlier. This isn't how I normally am, I promise."
"Of course." Robin replied, if only because she didn't know what else to say. She felt the smallest bit embarrassed for assuming that she was the root of the navigator's resent insomnia. Though Robin had had the good sense not to mention her suspicions aloud, she still felt like she needed to make it up to her.
A memory tugged at the back of Robin's mind, and making a decision that she was sure to regret in the morning, she got up and sat beside the navigator. "Lie down," Robin said when Nami opened her mouth to ask what she was doing.
The navigator obeyed, and Robin drew the sheet up over her shoulders. Robin had known her mother for less than an hour, and though Olvia had been dead longer than Nami had been alive that did not stop Robin from wanting her even now. How long had she wished that her grief didn't have to be a silent, hidden thing? How many times had she woken up as Nami had and wished for the comfort of another?
"Mori mo iyagaru, Bon kara saki-nya, Yuki mo chiratsuku-shi, Ko mo naku-shi…" Robin sang softly, invoking the memory of her aunt singing the old Oharan lullaby to her ill cousin while Robin, also wracked with fever and chills, was left to fend for herself. "…Bon ga kita-tote, Nani ureshi-karo Katabira wa nashi, Obi wa nashi…"
Nami's eyes fluttered closed, her head sinking deeper into the pillow as she allowed herself to relax.
"…Kono ko you naku, Mori wo ba ijiru Mori mo ichi-nichi, Yaseru-yara…"
The navigator's breathing deepened as she drifted off into a slumber. Robin brushed a tendril of hair out of her face, tucking it tenderly behind one ear.
"…Hayo-mo yuki-taya, Kono zaisho koete, Mukou ni mieru wa, Oya no uchi, Mukou ni mieru wa, Oya no uchi."
Robin allowed her hand to drop as the lullaby came to a close. A lump rose in her throat as feelings she hadn't allowed herself to feel in years bubbled to the surface unbidden.
It was foolish to indulge herself in this way, but Robin couldn't help herself. She hadn't been traveling with the Straw Hats long, but she had enough experience to know that they not an average pirate crew. Soon she would be forced to leave them, but as Robin tried to stand Nami's hand clasped around her wrist.
"Stay?" she asked quietly. Robin hesitated for only a moment, before giving in entirely. Kicking off her shoes, she lay beside Nami. There wasn't much room on the small, narrow bed, but there was comfort, and at that moment that was the one thing they both sorely needed.