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Rich had long since come to terms with his sexuality, and he was slowly coming out to everyone he knew. The only thing he couldn’t come to terms with though, was his feelings. He knew he loved Jake. He had loved him for years, but the SQUIP always blocked out any affection. So, he never had to think about it or consider his feelings. When it was removed, that was the first time he was able to truly think about it. He was alone with his thoughts and the whispers of something that wasn’t totally gone. He was able to gawk, stare, and fawn over him without an electric shock running up his spine. It was a blessing and a curse. The freedom was greatly appreciated of course, but confusingly, he felt lost. He didn’t know what was right, or acceptable. He realized he probably shouldn’t care, but it was hard to when he’s been conditioned for the last three years.
That’s why he still hadn’t come out to Jake.
Rediscovering his feelings was a journey. He had started off rather envious. Jake was tall, confident, popular, and involved in practically every school activity. The entire school adored him. Essentially, he was everything Rich wanted to be. He longed for that attention again, but for the real him. It made him bitter to see that people were always all over him. He had assumed that feeling was jealousy, and it was. It wasn’t jealousy of Jake’s popularity though. Soon enough, he realized he was jealous of the crowd. The people that spoke to him, got near him, and generally interacted with him. It turned out that Jake wasn’t everything he wanted to be, but just everything he wanted. He didn’t want what he had; he wanted him . That thought alone was scary enough.
Unwilling to confront that, he put Jake on whole other level. There were four levels. There was strangers, friends, family, and idols. Strangers were exactly what you’d expect. No idea who they are. Then, there were friends. People who he’d talk to in the hall. Just people he enjoyed the company of. His family, not to be confused with blood family, like his dad. He was practically a stranger. No, this level was people such as Brooke, Jeremy, Christine. Practically everyone he came out too. All of them were the real ride or die’s that he wanted to stick with for life. They meant the world to him, and he knew he meant the world to them. There was a mutual idea that everyone was on the same level.
Finally, there was an idol level. A spot made especially for Jake Dillinger. The perfect, flawless, untouchable human beings that were just so astounding, they practically glowed. It was only Jake really. As much as he could testify, there was absolutely no fault to him. He was unfathomably kind, impossibly witty, and attractive on a godly level. Rich trembled in his presence.
He would love to be able to be accepted by him. Jake insisted, “Rich. You’re fine just the way you are. I am friends with the real Richard Goranski,” and Rich would blush, look away, and chuckle. He knew most of the real Richard Goranski. He was missing two key components, and that was his sexuality and love for him.
It wasn’t that Rich was afraid of Jake being homophobic, biphobic, or any other anti-LGBT label. He’s the pansexual captain of the GSA, so he just couldn’t be. Rather, he was afraid of putting his heart on the line. He felt that if he wanted to come out, he’d inevitably start to slip into the territory of his feelings as sort of validation. He couldn’t let that be out in the open. Jake wouldn’t like him because he’s too short, can’t speak, to bulky, and maybe the reason that he burned down his house and then Rich would be rejected. Jake would let him down easy just because he’s such a nice guy, but secretly, he would distance himself little by little hoping that Rich wouldn’t notice. He would though. He has a minor dependency issue. So yeah. He wasn’t going to confess unless Jake confessed something to him. He had to go in with absolute certainty.
For a while, he was able to accept this. Everything was good. Everything was just fine . He’d wait until the right moment.
The right moment ended up being in Jake’s closet at a party.
It was early Saturday morning, late Sunday night when the Squip Squad had decided that it would be a good idea to play 7 minutes in heaven while they were there. Of course, anything can sound like a good idea when it's 2 am and you’re drunk off your ass. Everyone had made the general agreement that you didn’t have to make out or anything if you didn’t want to. It was a blessing that Christine didn’t drink and still had some sense in her.
The game started hyped and giggly. Jenna had spun the bottle, and it landed on Brooke. Both just nodded at each other, and went in the closet. No one expected them to do anything really. It was no surprise when the two girls walked out laughing. No messy hair, swollen lips, or hickeys anywhere. Likely, they just shared a nice conversation. Everyone glanced at Chloe, who discreetly let out a sigh of relief. After that, it was Michael’s turn. He spun, and it landed on Jeremy. An entertaining combo, indeed. As the bottle slowed down, and pointed to him, there were whoops and cheers. Comments about protection were made half-jokingly as the two closed the door behind them. In the minutes of waiting, people discussed how this could change their current bets on their relationship status. Brooke, Christine, and Jake laughed feeling confident that their bets would come through. There was a discussion over it, until a thud and soft gasp was heard through the thin maple door. Then, the timer went off, and people went quiet as they approached the door. A hush went over the group as Chloe went to knock on the door.
“Stop fucking and get dressed! We’re opening the door!”
She waited a few seconds before actually swinging it open. The two walked out red faced and out of breath. Michael was fixing his hair, and Jeremy was shrugging his sweater back on. As he moved, it shifted slightly, and little blooming red marks were revealed under his collarbone. As they sat down, people clapped them on the back as a congratulation and subtle way of saying, “ We know what you did in there. ” He chose not to comment on it, but Rich noticed that Jeremy forget to zip up his pants. He’d have to point it out next round if he wasn’t too stressed. It was Jake’s turn.
As he watched the bottle go round and round, Rich wasn’t sure if he wanted it to land on him, or absolutely anybody else. He felt anxiety rise up as it slowed down and just his luck, landed on him . To his embarrassment and surprise, this was met with the same enthusiasm as Jeremy and Michael’s round. Absolutely mortified, he took one more swig of beer for courage before getting up. This was going to be the longest seven minutes of his entire life.
Closing the door behind them, they took a seat on the floor and just looked at each other. Or at least, where the other would be. It was too dark. Rich could feel his heart pounding, and he was glad it was so dimly lit, or else Jake would notice how red he was. He didn’t know what to say. He wanted to take the opportunity the world had so generously given him. But he assumed Jake would just treat it as some bro time. He was beginning to worry him actually. He wasn’t saying anything. Without his energy to fill in the space, Rich could only wonder what he valued more: his dream of a relationship, or their blessing of a friendship.
Finally, Rich tried to break the silence. “So… We’re here. In your closet.” He cringed at how lame that sounded. His lisp only made it sound worse.
“Yep.”
“And we’re expected to make out.”
“Mhm.”
Trying to make out Jake’s dark form, he found it more difficult than he expected. The young man was usually very shifty. He made broad hand gestures, moved around in his seat, or fiddled with his hair. The darkness wouldn’t stop Rich from seeing that; it should just show him a shadowy, jittery form. Jake was just a dark blob. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he realized why Jake wasn’t moving. He wasn’t looking him in the eye. He was tense. Uncomfortable. Rich scolded himself. He probably shouldn’t have said anything about it. He wanted to be able to fix it though. He had to say something else. Amend it somehow, and maybe get something else done along the way.
Not letting the many cans of liquid courage go to waste, he sucked in a deep breath and threw a question into the air. “Do you want to make out?”
There was an almost inaudible sound of movement, and a much more audible intake of breath. Jake turned to look and him and was caught off guard by the question. Immediately, Rich regretted speaking. That was a dumb question. No, of course he wouldn’t want to make out with you what are you saying?
“I’m bisexual?” he awkwardly supplied. It was the only other thing he could think of saying in this situation. Well… There was one more thing he could say.
Fuck it .
“And I’m also kind of in love with you?” That was it. The cat was out of the bag. The beans were spilt. Rich got ready for it to become 7 minutes in hell as Jake slapped the reality back into him with an overly sweetened rejection. He awaited the verbal punch but it never came.
“Well? Yell, scream, say something! Anything…”
It felt like he was talking into a void. He wasn’t getting any sort of replies. Maybe this was going to be Jake’s rejection. Just ignoring him. Painfully pretending it didn’t happen. That almost hurt more than a verbal confrontation. At least then he would know what he did wrong and didn’t do right. Rich sat in silence, beginning to feel his eyes water.
As he blinked them back, there was a blur of motion and very soft pair of lips on his. Jake Dillinger was kissing him. Jake Dillinger was kissing him . He gasped at the contact, and after a brief moment, felt his own lips moving in sync. He was floating. This was dream. Yet, Jake’s very real hands around his waist were telling him otherwise. They gently tugged him onto Jake’s lap and guided his own hands to cup his face, before settling back to his hips. He barely noticed, distracted by sweet pressure on his lips. As Rich’s hands slid up to tangle through Jake’s hair he felt the grip on his sides tighten. He heard himself let out a soft moan, as Jake’s tongue swiped his bottom lip. He shuddered at the motion, and noticed Jake’s lips parted in a smile. Taking the opportunity while he had the chance, he took Jake’s bottom lip between his and bit down, sucking on it gently. Jake groaned at that, and huffed out a breath. He pulled Rich impossibly closer. Both of their lips parted as the kiss progressed into much more passionate open mouthed one.
Rich moaned as he felt Jake’s tongue explore the insides of his mouth. Eventually, it brushed his own. In response, he tugged his soft hair. As they made out, Jake started to play with the hem of his shirt with one hand, as the other began to slide up under the fabric. He sighed, his grip on his hair becoming looser. He felt as if he was melting. Jake was tracing circles onto his sides, and slowly twirling his tongue with his own.
There was a quick change of pace as Jake moved the kiss from Rich’s lips to his jaw, down his neck, and up to just under his ear where he whispered breathlessly, “I love you so much… You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” Rich whined hearing that. For years, he wanted this as well. There were so many times when he just absent mindedly wanted to do little things like hold his hand, kiss his cheek, or just cuddle into his sides, but this was something he only ever thought of in private. Now that he was seated on Jake’s lap as he dragged his lips across his neck, he couldn’t believe it. He didn’t stay concentrated on any single spot. He was everywhere, marking him up, claiming him. He was sucking his jaw, biting his neck, licking his collarbone. Rich was scratching Jake’s scalp, gasping between groans, whines, and moans. His vocabulary was gone. Everything was either, “ Jake, ” “ Fuck ,” “ Yes, ” or some combination of the three.
At some point, Jake had found a particularly sensitive spot between his collarbone and neck, and Rich ended up grinding his hips downwards on impulse.
Jake growled.
He unlatched himself from his neck and looked back at Rich. Pupils dilated, hair askew, and swollen lips parted. Then, he attacked his lips again, as he thrusted his hips back up response.
It was euphoric. They continued on like that for a true, heavenly time, grinding, making out, and feeling each other’s presence. The contact was addicting. The endless friction was amazing, and the thought that it was from Jake only turned Rich on even more. He was panting into his mouth as Jake lazily chewed on his lip. It was all he could do while distracted by the pressure on his growing erection.
And suddenly Jake stopped for a moment. Again, they were staring at each other. Rich was pouting, confused as to why they were no longer moving. He felt the hands on his sides begin to glide onto his stomach, and then down to his belt. His eyes widened as Jake searched his eyes for some sort of denial. Rich nodded. At that, Jake’s hands began to undo the belt painfully slow.
Then, there was a knock on the door.
This time, they had granted Christine with the honors of the task. “Umm… So like… It’s actually been like fifteen minutes? But uh, you guys-”
Jake did not appreciate the interruption. He snapped at the group outside, “Fuck off! We're busy! Use another closet or something!” Rich chuckled at his annoyance, and placed a small kiss on the tip of his nose.
They heard some mumbling, laughter, and a huff of indignation from Christine, before she told them, “Alright… But wait for us to slide some condoms under the door before you two do anything, alright?” At that, there was another chorus of laughter. “Hold on! Chloe is getting it right now! Don’t do anything yet!” At this point, even Rich and Jake found themselves chuckling a little. Just a moment later, three little gold packets were found by Jake’s legs. Christine just kept on talking, “I don’t know why Chloe had to bring three, but she said that sometimes they break and I guess it’s-”
A muffled voice was heard. It sounded like Michael. “Christine! Just let them have sex!” he protested.
“Oh! Yeah. Okay. We’ll leave the room now. Sorry!”
Inside the closet, the two were amused, but starting to grow frustrated. The group interaction was coming to a close as their voices faded to silence, but both knew that their time had just begun.
Awkwardly, Rich peeked out of the closet into Jake’s room. Everyone had left.
Smirking, he asked, “Wanna’ take this to the bed?”
With a sly grin, Jake opened the closet door completely and shut it behind them. Running off to lock his bedroom door now, he turned back to Rich, who was standing next to the king sized mattress.
Slowly, Jake walked over to him. Rich found himself being lifted up by his ass and wrapped his legs around Jake’s waist. The friction was back. Again, he held his hands to his face.
Jake looked at him with a mischievous look. “Now where were we?”