Chapter Text
Quick steps rain down the rust-colored track as Jungkook sprints to the finish line without so much as a glance towards his opponent. Never get distracted, never look back. Jungkook's an athlete in every sense of the word, and he treats every game like it's the championships. He bursts past the finish line with the widest grin on his face and finally allows his gaze to move from the horizon to the giggling boy stopping next to him with his hands on his knees. The summer sun makes the boy's hair gleam as he moves his head to look at Jungkook.
"One day, I'll beat you. I just know it," the boy says good-naturedly, and Jungkook throws his head back in laughter at the challenge.
"Keep telling yourself that. You'll only beat me in your dreams," he teases, but the boy only smiles, straightening up.
"Maybe, Kookie, maybe," he says, but this time it's soft, wistful, and before Jungkook can say anything, the boy's tugging on his arm and dragging him to the vending machine.
"It's my treat this time! Dad's been getting lucky recently, so we won't have to worry about money for a while," the boy states, inserting a couple coins into the vending machine and reaching down to grab their drinks. Jungkook takes the can of coke from his hands, right as the boy's phone starts to ring. He watches as he glances at the caller ID and promptly rejects the call, face souring significantly.
"Your dad?" Jungkook asks, as if he doesn't already know.
"He's been getting worse, Kookie. To be honest, it's scaring me," he says, voice nearly a whisper as he cracks open his drink and takes a large gulp. He lets out a loud exhale as the carbonated drink runs down his throat before roughly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
"You're damn lucky, Jungkook. I hope you know that."
---------------
The worst feeling, in Jungkook's opinion, is waking up to find silk pajamas stuck to his back, arms, and thighs, his heart beating in his chest like a bomb about to explode. He tugs his matted bangs away from his forehead. He never wanted bangs in the first place, but his last role as a smitten high school boy in a well-paying Korean drama forces him to keep up a softer, younger appearance. He lets his head rest on soft, warm sheets for a few moments longer as he catches his breath. Dreams aren't new to Jungkook; he's been having them for as long as he can remember, but while others dream of improbable things, Jungkook's dreams have always been boringly normal and shockingly real, almost like at one point, he really was the Jungkook in his dreams.
Jungkook's never dreamed of the boy. Not until a couple weeks ago when he started appearing more and more frequently in Jungkook's mind. He lets out a long breath as he recalls the boy's appearance: pitch black hair, a small nose, and eyes that portrayed smiles better than his mouth could. He shakes the image away from his mind and dispels the ringing of his soft voice from his sleep-addled brain. If there's one thing Jungkook's learned throughout the years, it's to never pay attention to his dreams.
He shuts his alarm off before it can ring and grimaces as he peels his sweaty pajamas off his tired body. Jungkook changes into sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt before scowling at his reflection in the mirror. He looks like shit, and he knows it. The realer his dreams feel, the harder it is for him to sleep, and the bags under his eyes are a huge tell of just how little actual sleep he was getting.
"Looking bad as a celebrity only stirs rumors," Jungkook spits at his appearance, quoting his manager's words. Jin was right of course. Jungkook has to look good at all times, it's his livelihood after all, and these bags weren't going to cut it. Jungkook scoffs, and shrugs a thin sports jacket on before shoving his earphones in and going out for a morning jog. Jogging is one of the few things Jungkook actually enjoys. He likes the rhythmic pace of his feet on the ground. He likes the feeling of being solid, grounded, but at the same time feeling like if he ran, truly ran, maybe he could fly. He lets his feet take him around the city in a trail he knows so well, and it strikes him, like it always does, how right if felt to be in motion, how familiar it felt to move one foot in front of the other until he reaches the very end.
Jungkook arrives back home in no time, and he briefly considers extending his route next time before dismissing it as a matter for tomorrow. When he lets himself back in, Jin's sitting on his spotless white couch, eating a slice of mango crepe cake Jungkook bought for himself. Guess this day wasn't gonna be a day off after all. The broad-shouldered manager turns to look at Jungkook when he hears his footsteps approaching.
"Jungkook, I've got new prospective roles for you. With your status, I'm pretty sure they'll cast you with little fuss, so it's pretty much just up to you which one you wanna star in," Jin says to the young man.
Jungkook allows an unflattering frown to distort his features. "Hyung, I told you I'm taking a break," he hisses before moving to walk towards his bedroom.
"And I told you that's a bad idea. You're at the peak of your career, it's good to constantly appear in movies," Jin insists.
Jungkook snorts, "I've been at the top for years, Jin hyung. I daresay I'm not going anywhere any time soon."
He shrugs his sweaty jacket off and tosses it into the laundry basket as he steps into the restroom. He wishes Jin would just let him destroy his own career, but he knows it's in Jin's best interest as well if his charge doesn't run out of jobs. Jungkook takes quite a bit to shower, secretly hoping Jin would be gone by the time he comes out, but he knows Jin would be there because that man's persistent and determined and freaking unstoppable. It's why Jungkook has a feeling Jin will stay for a while, unlike those that quit after Jungkook's hostile attitude became too much.
He sits across from Jin, drying his hair with a soft blue towel. Jin gazes at him for a bit, as if he's considering something, before reaching into his document holder and pulling out a thick pile of scripts. Jungkook rolls his eyes, resting his bare feet on the glass table, knowing it'll irk the other man. "What's this?" he asks, faking cluelessness.
The thing that Jungkook hates the most about Jin is how composed he is. Jungkook can try to rile the other man up for hours, and the most he'll get is a displeased quirk of the lips. Did the man have to be so unflappable? Jin says nothing, barely even glancing at Jungkook's feet and insouciant posture.
"At least read through them. You'll definitely like at least one," Jin says, voice remaining neutral. Jungkook can feel his expression darken at a lack of reaction before he hastily grabs the stack of papers and slams then down on his lap.
"I said I wanted a break, hyung," Jungkook says, voice lowering angrily.
"I'm sorry, but that's not an option right now. I promise after this, you'll get a well-deserved break."
Jungkook huffs in exasperation. Jin's right, of course. Even Jungkook knows that being at the top is not a long-term thing, and he should milk every single cent out of his popularity. Years of being a child actor, years of crawling up to the top, and years of finally being at the top has taught him everything about the industry. Fans are fickle. Jungkook knows they'll turn at the first scandal, at the first signs of inadequacy, so he begrudgingly thumbs through the stack, making sure to keep his scowl in place, letting Jin know he's not happy.
Jungkook eyes the first script on the stack. "Who's directing this?" he asks, lifting the script up and reading the title, "'Secret Love'. Sounds fucking cheesy." He throws it back onto the table.
"You didn't even read through it," Jin comments.
"The title sucks," Jungkook replies disinterestedly, "And that director and I don't get along."
Jin lets out a long-suffering sigh. Jungkook tilts his head. Jin must be having a particularly bad day if he's actually showing signs of distress. He stifles a grin and continues to throw script after script back onto the table.
"Why are these all so bad, hyung?" Jungkook asks, not really expecting a reply. He doesn't get one either.
Jungkook looks at the next script on the list and tilts his head in interest. "Min Yoongi's directing this?"
Jin gives him a nod. "That's a good one, actually. I like it myself. It's not a love story though, more coming of age."
Jungkook nods slowly in consideration as he places it into a "to-consider" pile which only consisted of one other script. He runs through the rest in no time and leans back on the couch. "I'll read through these," he says, "You can go now."
Jin neatly places all the scripts back in his proper little document holder and gives Jungkook a proper little greeting before leaving. Jungkook scowls for what feels like the millionth time that day. Jin was always so proper, and it made Jungkook feel like a child. He grabs himself some yogurt from the fridge and regrets that he doesn't have ice cream or chocolate or any of that fun stuff. Instead, he has pre-packed salads, fresh fruit juice, and uncooked vegetables. The only thing that could have been remotely good was the mango crepe cake, and Jin ate it. He slams the door a lot harder than he meant to and polishes his yogurt off a lot faster than he meant to as well. He flops back onto his bed, paying no attention to his still drying hair and drifts back off to sleep.
---------------
Jungkook's running again, but this time, he's not on the track. There's no vibrant green field in the middle or white lines painted over rust-colored paths. There's no finish line. Jungkook's exiting a warm restaurant, worn down from years of usage, and he can smell the scent of meat being cooked lingering as the door slams behind him. Jungkook pushes past people on the street, jumping over uneven ground, only paying attention to the voice from his phone ringing in his ear.
"Come on, Kookie," the voice says, and Jungkook knows it's the boy. "Run faster. You're my little champion... Oh, Kookie, but this time you're not gonna win."
"Don't! Don't go anywhere, please. Just wait for me, I'll be there! Trust me okay, trust me," Jungkook yells into his phone. His voice is strangled and cracking from the sheer volume of his words, and he can feel the alcohol in his system making his limbs clumsy and slow. He curses into the night air as he hears choked sobs through the phone.
"Kookie, I'm finally gonna win. Aren't you happy for me?" the boy says, voice cracking and shaky. Jungkook thinks he hears hints of slurring, and he wonders if the boy's just as drunk as he is. Jungkook wonders if the boy knows what he's doing.
"Fuck, it doesn't matter! I'll let you win a million times over please don't do this!" Jungkook yells desperately.
He keeps talking to the boy, dissuading him from doing anything until he's finally there. He can see the boy's shorter form, spine curved and shaking. It's the same black hair, the same expressive eyes, the same nose and lips and soft cheeks. He turns around when he sees Jungkook and smiles so sadly it breaks his heart. "Jungkook, since you're faster, let's even it out a little bit, huh?" the boy says, sounding as if it took everything in him not to choke on his words.
Jungkook finds himself shaking as well, tears spilling from wide eyes. He's shaking his head desperately, trying to get the boy to stop talking, stop crying. "I'll run from here, and you'll run from there. I'm sure I'll win this time, just a little headstart," the boy says with a hauntingly tragic smile.
"I don't want you to win," Jungkook sobs out brokenly when he finally finds his voice.
"On the count of three now, Kookie," the boy says gently, "One... Two... Three."
Jungkook watches as the boy runs, runs like death itself was at his heels, and Jungkook's numb legs don't move fast enough, turning against Jungkook when he needs them most, and he can do nothing but run clumsily as he watches the boy win against him for the first and last time.
---------------
"Shit," Jungkook says groggily. He wakes up with a massive headache and tears spilling over his cheeks. It's been a while since he woke up upset over a dream. He remembers crying when he dreamt about breaking his wrist because the pain had felt so real to him that he had to check if his wrist was actually okay. He remembers crying when he dreamt about his dog dying while he was away at a track and field tournament because he had envisioned the dog so clearly in his mind that he wondered if maybe he owned one in a past life. He remembers crying for a reason he doesn't know just that his chest felt heavy and painful, like something was tightening itself around him and stopping the in and out of air from his lungs. He hasn't had those in a while, just short pleasant dreams about winning competitions or attending high school prom or eating convenience store ramen out on the street with the boy. None of the dreams were memories he could recall, but he doesn't mind, as long as they don't leave him waking up in the middle of the night in tears and hysterics. He wipes the remaining tears on his face and walks to the kitchen to down a glass of water.
"I must have betrayed my country in the past if I'm getting dreams like this," Jungkook says hoarsely, laughing without humor. The water slides down his throat easily, and Jungkook breathes a sigh of relief. He wishes he could down a bottle of soju or even a can of coke, but those stupid fucking diets they always have him on prevent him from going out and grabbing one on a whim. He lets his knees go weak and props himself up with his marble counter. He hopes his dreams wouldn't get worse since he could use any ounce of sleep and sanity he can get when he picks up his next big project.
Jungkook places the glass in the dishwasher, cringing at the thud it makes. The headache that's been pounding behind his left eye is still as persistent as ever, like it always is whenever he cries. He sits back on the couch and groans loudly, picking up the first script he set aside. 'Morning Glory' is printed boldly across the pristine white sheet, and Jungkook impatiently flips the page. He squints down at the tiny text, frowning. It's exactly like every other role he's had, Jungkook thinks, and the younger him would have chosen it in a heartbeat. It would be easy, so easy, but Jungkook's spent most of his life in this industry, and he's reached a point where he's just so bored. He doesn't wanna play another rich heir or popular school boy or smitten prince from the Silla dynasty. He want something new, interesting.
Jungkook puts the script aside, settling onto the couch that's too expensive to be comfortable. He grabs the only other script left and reminds himself not to get his hopes up.
"Min Yoongi," Jungkook says thoughtfully. Yoongi's new to the industry, but Jungkook's watched his first movie and found it positively scandalous. It was filled with crime and corruption and brutality and injustice, and Jungkook just knows that if this movie is anything like that one, he'd be more than willing to play the role. He breezed through the synopsis earlier while Jin was around, and Jungkook can already tell it's a much tamer work, but if Yoongi can keep his raw, tasteful directing style in this movie as well, he'll give it a try. He opens the work, fully expecting a proper script but coming face to face with a few descriptions, a vague storyline, and some glossed-over dialogue. Jungkook sighs. Not receiving a full script until being cast is rare but not new to Jungkook, and oftentimes, he absolutely hates it because he wants to know exactly what he's taking on, not a vague, shielded version of his role. Who's he going to spread the storyline to anyway, Jin?
Jungkook grabs his phone to call Jin, and it comes as no surprise to him that the man's picking up on the second ring.
"Jungkook? Any problems?"
"Jin hyung, did they really not send a full script for 'Finish Line'?"
"Min Yoongi's film? From what I recall, no," comes Jin's reply.
Jungkook groans into the line, "Why are producers so paranoid these days, hyung? It's such an inconvenience."
He hears Jin chuckle through the line before the manager responds. "You know how it is these days, everything's being leaked. How's 'Morning Glory'? That's right up your alley," Jin says.
"Boring. Cheesy. I don't want it. 'Finish Line' though, I'm interested in. When are auditions?" Jungkook asks, secretly hoping Jin wouldn't try talking him out of a potentially risky role.
"Next week, Monday, actually. Should I give them a heads up?"
"Please do. Also, I don't feel like going to the press conference tomorrow. Any way to get out of that?" Jungkook asks because he can't let a single conversation with Jin pass without riling him up.
"I'm afraid you have to attend," Jin says blandly, and Jungkook wonders if the man has an actual personality.
"Hey, hyung. You're not gonna stop me from taking this role?" Jungkook asks because truthfully, he's a little confused. Jin hasn't been his manager for long, maybe a grand total of four months, basically ever since Jungkook threw a hissy fit over having to redo a couple of scenes from his last movie because the camera angle apparently looked wrong. After that, his manager just gave up and in comes Kim Seokjin with an unbreakable aura of calm indifference. None of Jungkook's past managers would ever allow him to take something that could potentially put him under public scrutiny, and with Min Yoongi's reputation alone, this role was exactly that.
"You're 20 now, Jungkook. I think you're entitled to your own decisions, and it's good for you, as an artist, to grow," Jin says after a beat of silence. Jungkook finds himself momentarily baffled. He can never figure Jin out.
After a moment of hesitation, Jungkook ends the call with a quick "whatever you say" before settling back on the couch and turning the television on. He's determined not to sleep tonight. If Jungkook's hunch is right, his bad dreams are coming back with a renewed vengeance and an increasingly creative plot. Maybe when he got too old to play cute boys in films for teenaged girls, he'd make a story out of it and retire with dignity. He watches the news for a while, videos of famous celebrities and politicians following images of bombings and attacks sliding past Jungkook's glazed eyes before he finally changes the channel. Food channel, fuck. Jungkook's stomach growls loudly, and he remembers he hasn't eaten yet. All he's had today was a measly yogurt, and he can feel the hunger stabbing at his stomach. He doesn't feel like eating another healthy salad today, so he shuts the TV off and tries to be presentable enough to justify any photos of him grabbing burgers in sweatpants at 10 pm on a Thursday night. He tugs a cap onto his dyed brown hair to go stuff himself with junk food. What Jin doesn't know won't kill him.
When he arrives at the new burger joint a couple streets away from his house, he's rather surprised he hasn't been recognized yet. He flashes a pleasant smile to the girl behind the counter. She looks young, probably still in high school, and Jungkook prays with his entire soul that the girl doesn't recognize him. She looks back up at him, delivering an empty half-smile back, as if working at a burger joint has taken every bit of soul from her. Jungkook wonders if high school is harder nowadays or if working at fast food restaurants could fry your brain cells into oblivion, but he decides it's wiser not to ask and just quickly order, so he can get out of the girl's face.
"I'd like two of set meal number 4, both with upsized drinks. Make that Diet Coke instead of Coke please. I want a sundae too, oh, and make the fries large with extra barbecue powder. Actually, can you make that cheese flavored instead? Thanks, and please add two apple pies too," Jungkook says, mouth watering at the prospect of hot, greasy food.
The girl stares at him with such a judgmental expression that Jungkook actually shrinks away a bit before mumbling a soft, "Um, I'm sharing these with friends, of course." She only gives him another empty half-smile, "Would you like that to-go?"
Jungkook only nods and the girl brings him his order after a while. He rushes out of there like he's being chased and speed walks back to his home. When he finally gets to nestle into his soft, expensive sheets, he turns the TV back on, this time switching to a foreign channel. He shoves palmfuls of fries into his mouth as he mimics the English dialogue on screen. By the time he's finished with his meal, he feels like a bloated fish, and he makes his way to the restroom, throwing greasy fast food packaging into the trash can by the toilet. He leans against the cold white walls, staring at his reflection in the mirror. He shouldn't have eaten all that food because now he can feel his eyes start to droop and his body start to get sluggish. He glances at the time and it's nearly midnight. Jungkook shakes his incoming food coma off and decides to jump into the shower. He wasn't going to cave. He wasn't going to sleep.
The water's hot enough to tint his skin with a bit of pink, just the way Jungkook likes it. He closes his eyes for a moment and lets his dreams play around in his mind. The very first dream Jungkook is able to remember is being a small preschooler in his first day of school. He remembers little dream Jungkook was so nervous about being alone and not being able to look anyone in the eye. It made sense though since little dream Jungkook was at the height of other people's legs, so he'd have to look way up to make eye contact. His dreams increased in frequency when he was in high school, and he mostly dreamt about a teenaged Jungkook who was friendly and well-liked, with limbs too long for his body. One of his most prominent dreams is standing on a track and field for the first time, and Jungkook doesn't fully know how he knew it was dream Jungkook's first time. Dream Jungkook knew; therefore, Jungkook knew. He remembers standing there with the bright summer sun beating down on his back, eyes probably sparkling as he surveys the freshly watered grass and the crisp lines ahead of him.
It all seems perfectly normal if you think about it. Normal dreams, recollections of past events, but Jungkook knows he never attended preschool because his parents thought homeschooling was the way to go. A more flexible schedule equals more time to audition for roles and get cast into a nice movie or drama. Jungkook knows that when his parents finally let him attend a proper school, he was more reserved than anything and made a grand total of zero lasting friendships. It didn't matter then because he was already a known actor at the time and barely attended school anyway. Another thing that Jungkook knows for sure is that he never got into track. He doesn't remember crouching down "on your marks" or breaking through the finish line except for in his dreams. Maybe none of this would have been all that concerning if Jungkook didn't wake up with burning lungs, tired legs, and sweat running down his whole body. After track nights, Jungkook always wakes up with adrenaline running through his veins like a high that he can only get rid of after jogging in the morning.
When Jungkook opens his eyes again, he's reminded of how good it is to live in a place where hot water doesn't run out. He enjoys the water a few moments more before finally stepping out and getting into a pair of cotton pajamas with a matching top. He makes himself a cup of green tea, mostly out of guilt from all the greasy food he just ate, burrowing back into his bed in front of the large TV that's still spouting some dramatic foreign dialogue Jungkook's given up on replicating. He glances at the clock to his right and frowns. It's 1 am now, and Jungkook wonders why time is moving so slowly. He watches the hand move jerkily from point to point, so slowly that Jungkook's sure it's mocking him for wanting morning to come fast.
In the middle of drinking his tea and watching the clock and letting some dramatized statements wash over his ears, Jungkook finds his eyes drifting shut again, and this time, he gives in, letting sleep take him.
---------------
"Jungkook, can I come over?" a small voice comes through Jungkook's beat up phone, and there's no mistaking that it's the boy. He's on a battered couch, leather starting to crack with years of use, and a large bowl of chips on his lap. He can still feel the soreness in his calves from training earlier today. He switches to the sports channel, watching some basketball players from local teams sprint from court to court.
"Miss me already?" Jungkook's tone is teasing, "We just met up earlier today."
"Please, Kookie," the boy says, and there's something about his tone that tells Jungkook not to ignore him.
"Sure, you never ask for permission to come over anyway," Jungkook says, trying to keep his voice casual. He pops another chip into his mouth and hopes the boy couldn't pick up on his change in mood. He hears rustling from the other end of the line before it goes dead, and Jungkook just knows that the boy never does that, never hangs up without saying goodbye.
There are frantic knocks on his door minutes later, and when Jungkook finally pulls it open to reveal the guest, the boy's standing there looking frazzled and on edge.
"What's wrong?" Jungkook asks when they're back on the couch, and he's offering chips to the boy in an effort to make him feel better.
He only shakes his head, lightly pushing the bowl of chips away, "Dad's being a shit again."
"I thought you guys were doing well?" Jungkook says softly.
"Doing well? If you mean I'm not going to college next year is doing well then I guess," he says, and his tone is venomous, so unlike the giggles behind him on the track or the sweet challenges said while sweat runs down his face.
"What do you mean, Jimin? You've been so excited about this. We're even attending the same university!" Jungkook says, voice rising in shock.
The boy, Jimin apparently, doesn't answer for a while, but Jungkook can feel him trembling beside him.
"We've got it all planned out. It was perfect!" Jungkook says when it becomes obvious Jimin's not up to speaking. He lifts Jimin's lowered head and looks him in the eye, expecting an explanation, maybe some tears, but Jimin only shoves his hand away, a flash of what looks like anger or frustration sparking up in his eyes.
"Yeah, well life isn't fucking perfect, Kook. Sometimes everything's going fine until your dad fucks up again, and everything goes to shit. Jungkook, you know my life is one big gamble. My future literally relies on whether or not dad's feeling lucky. Guess what? He's not, hasn't been for a while, so I can't fucking go to uni anymore because he fucked that up for me as well," Jimin says in one breath, face reddening in indignation.
"That's so shitty," Jungkook says because it is, and it's unfair, and Jimin deserves to get into university because he's worked so damn hard to get so damn good. "Could you get a scholarship?" he asks softly, trying not to upset him more.
"Scholarship?" Jimin scoffs. "If I was up for a scholarship, I would have known by now, and I'm certainly not smart enough to get in with exceptional grades. I'm screwed, Kook, fucking screwed. This is so unfair, I don't deserve this. I wish I had your life instead."
"So what are you gonna do, just give up?" Jungkook says, voice taking on a slightly defensive edge.
"That's what the world's telling me to do," Jimin says, deflating a little, like he's more tired than anything.
"The world's not telling you anything. It's just going around like it always does, it doesn't give any actual signs. It doesn't give enough shits for that. You're just reading into it and telling yourself to give up," Jungkook says.
"Well, fuck you too, then," Jimin says before grabbing a handful of chips and stuffing his face. Jungkook lets silence invade the room before grabbing the remote and switching the channel. It's some old movie from the 90s that Jungkook certainly can't remember. He leans back onto the couch as well.
"Let's talk about this next time, yeah?" Jungkook says, and Jimin gives him a small nod in return. He can't help but feel like that was the wrong thing to do, like he should've talked to him about it now instead of letting the on screen dialogue drown out their argument.
---------------
"You don't look very good today," Jin says as he surveys Jungkook's disheveled appearance. Needless to say, Jungkook didn't sleep very well, so when Jin's waking him up at 7 am to get his hair and makeup done, he's sure he looks like he's been hit by a truck.
"You don't look good any day," Jungkook retorts because apparently he's a five-year-old child. He observes the way Jin's expression twitches and smiles with satisfaction when his lips quirk down just a fraction. He thinks he hears Jin mumble a soft "I'm always handsome", but Jungkook doesn't have the current mental capacity to assess if he's hallucinating from sleep deprivation or not.
When he exits the shower and takes a seat in front of his makeup artist, Jin's standing right behind her, observing Jungkook.
"Did you happen to have a bad dream, Jungkook?" Jin says after moments of consideration.
Jungkook chooses to ignore him while stopping his makeup artist from applying foundation on his bare skin. "Which foundation is this?" he asks.
The girl shows him the bottle, and Jungkook sighs. "Get a different one. This breaks me out."
"I—I don't think I have others in your shade," the girl says, looking slightly terrified.
"Then go grab one," Jungkook snaps. He's not feeling good today, but he'd rather give up his career than talk about his dreams and emotions with Jin.
The girl scrambles out of the loft with promises to grab Jungkook his specific foundation, and he's half-expecting Jin to scold him for being a brat so early in the morning.
"You know, it's rather childish to throw tantrums," Jin says.
"I wasn't throwing a tantrum. She made a mistake, I told her to fix it," Jungkook responds, words laced with irritation.
"There are certain ways to talk properly to your staff, Jungkook. It'll get difficult if people start talking about your behavior," Jin says, and Jungkook feels his defenses rise up and meld together, an automatic response after years in the spotlight.
"Don't worry, hyung," Jungkook says sarcastically, "If it starts spreading that I'm a brat, I'm sure it's my career that's ending, not yours."
Jin frowns, and Jungkook tries not to let it shock him. Jin was actually frowning. "I believe I phrased that incorrectly. I just meant that you have to treat people well, even on your off days. It's the proper thing to do."
Jungkook scoffs, "Right, because I'm a celebrity, and I have to be proper all the time."
"No, Jungkook, because you're a celebrity, and you've always been one. I know that maturing on camera with everyone's eyes on you essentially means you haven't matured at all. I'm teaching you how to deal with things like a proper adult because you'll need it when you're done being a child."
Jungkook takes a sharp breath. No one's ever really spoken to him like that before, the closest being Jimin in his dreams, and he finds that he doesn't like it, being called a child that is. He huffs and crosses his arms.
"What time's the press conference?" Jungkook says, voice slipping back into calculated boredom.
"11 am, sharp. Travel time is around 45 minutes, but we've still got a lot of time actually. We'll grab a quick breakfast along the way."
When Jungkook gets into the car, he's grateful for the small, soft blanket that smells like Jin's perfume draped over the backseat. He's so tempted to face plant onto it and just sleep, but he doesn't want to take the risk of waking up in tears, and even he's not enough of a douchebag to purposefully ruin his stylist's work. He's dressed in a nice, professional-looking suit, and his normally straight hair is textured and pulled apart to showcase a bit of forehead. He drapes the blanket over his knees and scoots over to give Jin some space.
"The usual cafe, please," Jin says to their driver, and Jungkook lets his head tilt back, resting on the leather interiors.
"Are you alright?" Jin asks again, and a part of Jungkook wants to lash out at him for asking, for caring. Jungkook grunts softly in acknowledgment, but Jin only turns to look at him with a serious expression.
"Have you been dreaming again?" Jin asks softly. Jungkook lets a small frown tug at the corners of his lips.
"I'm fine."
"I'm not saying you're not. I just think that it might be a problem if your dreams affect you that much."
"I'm fine," Jungkook grits out, and yesterday's headache is coming back full-force, like a sledgehammer swinging side to side in his skull.
"I can't pretend I don't notice the bags under your eyes. You were mumbling and sweating in your sleep too, I can't say I'm not worried," Jin says, voice firm and unshakeable.
Jungkook lifts his head to give Jin a sharp glare, "It's not your job to worry or to care, hyung."
Jin doesn't say anything after that, and they both let the tension linger in the air, neither trying to lift the mood. The silence remains until the car stops in front of Sonja's, a modern-looking health cafe with glass walls and uncomfortable geometric seats. Jungkook absolutely hates it here. He hates 100% unsweetened fruit juice, the vegan options, the carb-free meals, and although Jungkook hasn't bothered to learn much about Jin, he can tell his manager doesn't like it here either. They grab seats right next to one spotless glass wall, and a server promptly hands them nice, crisp menus with items written in professional-looking font. Jungkook observes how Jin's expression wavers as he glances at all the healthy options and finally settles on a basic wrap with orange juice, and Jungkook finds himself ordering the same thing, like he always does when he eats with Jin. The man always manages to find the tastiest things among the blandest food options, and Jungkook considers himself rather impressed.
Jungkook gets halfway through his meal in silence before Jin's breaking it once again. "I may just be your manager, Kook, but if you're having any trouble, it's okay to call," he says after swallowing a particularly large bite of his wrap. Jungkook stills for a moment because no one calls him Kook, just Jimin, but he shrugs it aside, chomping down on his wrap and drinking some orange juice before gulping it down. He hears Jin sigh, probably over his atrocious table manners, but Jungkook gives him a half-hearted thumbs up to show that he appreciates it, but not enough to actually say thanks. He has a bratty reputation to uphold.
Jin insists on paying for their meal later on, despite Jungkook's protests and frustrated frowns. When he settles back into the car, Jungkook's not even close to full yet, but he figures it's fine because he's used to eating less anyway. When they arrive at the press conference, they're a couple minutes early, and he can see Min Seong Ah, the leading lady in his last film, already seated and waiting with some other cast members. One thing Jungkook hates about press conferences is the feeling that he's about to mess up. They're usually pretty much just longer, more boring interviews, but there's something about the silence with only his voice ringing out and the clicking of a hundred cameras that unnerve him. When he takes the seat next to Seong Ah, she gives him a small smile, and Jungkook appreciates her kindness despite the knowledge that Jungkook was pretty much a brat during the entire filming process.
Basic questions are thrown back and forth, and Jungkook recycles some basic phrases like "it was such an honor to work with such a great cast" and "the filming was really memorable, I have learned a lot". The only interesting answer he gave was to the question of what he'd be taking on next to which he says, "I think I'll try something really different from the roles I've always done. Maybe the next movie I star in won't be a romance."
The press conference ends soon after, and Jungkook tries not to let the camera flashes remind him of winning on the track and getting his photograph taken for the local newspaper because that's dream Jungkook, he chants in his mind, not him.
Jin gets into the car after Jungkook plops himself down onto the seat, shrugging his jacket off and loosening his tie. "Hyung, about dreams, have you ever had ones that seem really real, but you know never happened?" Jungkook says because his dreams have been playing around in his mind since the first flash of the camera, and it's bothering him more than he thought it would.
"Well, I think everyone gets those dreams from time to time," Jin says carefully, as if gauging what exactly Jungkook meant to ask. Jungkook slumps back into his seat, feeling too hot in his Saint Laurent suit because he hadn't expected Jin to understand, and he didn't, but explaining would mean that Jungkook would have to tell Jin that those are the only type of dreams he has, that they're continuous with an actual, drawn out story, and that when he wakes up, he can't tell if they're reality or not for a few long moments.
Jungkook hums under his breath as Jin glances at him and attempts to appear unbothered, like that's the answer he was hoping for.
"I cleared your schedule for the weekend, so all you have to worry about is the casting on Monday. I suggest you practice the scene they gave for a bit, but I'm sure they'll come and discuss the context for you when you get there, so you can act it out properly," Jin says.
Jungkook offers a soft murmur of thanks. He planned to take the rest of the ride in silence, but he finds himself being possessed by an unknown urge, and before he knows it, he asking Jin to eat lunch with him. If Jin's surprised, he doesn't show it.
"Let's have the driver drop us off at my place first, then I'll drive to wherever," Jungkook says. He doesn't feel like eating at another health cafe, and he figures if Jin's the only one that knows, he might get away with it.
When Jin finally gets in Jungkook's car, it's almost one pm, and Jungkook's starving. "Let's get convenience store ramen," Jungkook suggests, starting up the car and feeling the smooth hum of his car underneath his fingers and thighs.
"The company wouldn't like that," Jin says, but it's not a rejection, just a statement.
"Then you grab the ramen, we'll eat in the car, and no one will now," Jungkook says, and for the first time that day, his lips are quirking up into a smile, making him look younger than his age and adding a sparkle of life in his eyes. It's not something you see on Jungkook often, the boy having never really experienced childhood fun before. The prospect of convenience store ramen is exciting to him because he can't even remember the last time he's had it.
Jungkook parks his car in front of a small, homey convenience store with lights open like it's already nighttime. He watches Jin walk around the store, furrowing his eyebrows as he watches him gather stuff he can't see from the car as well. It takes much longer than Jungkook expected for Jin to get back in the car, but he enters with a plastic bag hanging from his right arm while holding two flimsy bowls of hot ramen. Jin hands him one and grins widely as he observes Jungkook open the paper lid. Jungkook notices cheese and what looks to be egg amongst the nice stringy noodles. He inhales deeply and exhales in satisfaction, the scent of artificial flavoring and MSG entering his nose.
"Why are there eggs and cheese, hyung?" Jungkook questions.
"If we're eating ramen and endangering my job, then we're doing it right," Jin says, and Jungkook nearly does a double take at the manager's change in personality. He'd always envisioned the man as a stickler for the rules, but here they are in Jungkook's car, about to inhale the most calorie-filled, heart-attack-inducing ramen.
"Here," Jin says as he reaches into the plastic bag to bring out two cases of instant rice, peeling off the plastic covering and handing it to Jungkook. "Drop this in your ramen, it'll be perfect."
Jungkook drops the rice into his already unhealthy meal, ignoring the splattering of spicy soup onto his car seat. It feels familiar, Jungkook realizes, eating convenience store ramen in the most inconvenient of places. It reminds him of hanging out with Jimin again, but he shakes it off, determined not to think about the fictional boy in his dreams.
He shoves nearly half the bowl of ramen into his mouth and spoons some rice in. His eyes widen as he processes the taste and directs his gaze to Jin who's observing him with a fond smile. "This is so good," Jungkook says, but it's muffled through his mouthful of food, and he almost has soup dribble down his chin. He gulps down the large bite, smiling genuinely, "This is so good, hyung."
"I know," Jin says before shoving ramen into his mouth as well. "I got us coke too, but don't you dare tell the company."
Jungkook groans in the small cramped compartment of his car. "God, hyung, just marry me already," he says, and Jin lets out squeaky laughter. Jungkook finds himself taken aback, so used to his dry chuckles and proper little smiles. He finds himself laughing, more at Jin's laugh than anything. He supposed Jin wasn't too bad.