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The first time Jungwoo went on a date with Yukhei, he could blatantly say it was a disastrous first date. Yukhei had asked him out and they were planning to grab coffee at this one café that was garnering people's interests due to its brilliant lattes and mochas. Jungwoo has never been a fan of coffees but the pleading in Yukhei's eyes had told him otherwise. It's even funny to him that Yukhei called it a ‘date’ because it made everything so awkward. Jungwoo was a little too obsessed with the way his hair is styled that night and he wanted to curse at Yukhei for calling it a date because damn, he's been waiting for the invitation.
All the impromptu hangouts they have been having felt like slow and small steps to what is leading up to this date, Jungwoo thought. Jungwoo got ready an hour early and he kept playing with his fingers and his hair and the hem of his clothes. He couldn't help it. Wong Yukhei, one of the best rookies and also one of his friends, asked him out on a date. Make that with a caps lock. Jungwoo smiled in front of the mirror. His hands are resisting the urge to spam Yukhei with random messages. He wanted to ask the latter whether is this real or are they actually going official now but he decided that it'll only ruin the mood if it wasn't up to what he had hoped.
Jungwoo arrived at the café right at 9.00 PM just like Yukhei had appointed. He shrugged Yukhei's absence at the time as delay in traffic or any personal problems. Jungwoo has always been a positive person and he wouldn't stop being one just because there's a 0.1% that Yukhei is ditching him. He slapped his cheeks repeatedly, mumbling 'don't overthink'.
20 minutes passed and there was no single clue that Yukhei will be arriving soon. Jungwoo had to order something for himself now that the waiter had been pestering him the rules of the café. ''Sir, you can't just sit here without ordering anything. You can't use the same excuse because I don't think this date of yours is actually coming.'' The waiter said and he fucking snickered at Jungwoo's pathetic situation. Jungwoo felt tearful then. He nodded and mumbled a small order. ''Something that's not strong, please.''
Jungwoo felt like digging himself up a hole so he could wallow himself in sadness. He's stupid for hoping too much. Yukhei might have had said ‘date’ as a slip of the tongue. Jungwoo sniffed back the tears that were threatening to fall. The waiter is only making the situation worse, chortling a laugh. ''You come to a café and expect something that's not strong?'' The waiter laughed in a teasing way. Jungwoo blinked away his tears and looked up to the waiter. 'What the fuck is his problem?'
He caught the waiter's eyes and gave him a glare. He honestly thought his glare must have looked like a puppy trying so hard to look fierce especially with his teary eyes. He thought it wouldn't have looked convincing until the waiter retreated with a small smile and sweats down his forehead. Jungwoo heaved a sigh once he's alone.
It has been 35 minutes and honestly, Jungwoo thought he should have just left rather than to bother himself with a beverage he won't even like. He stood up from his seat and then, the bell in the front door of the café chimed— suggesting a newcomer. Jungwoo, with a small gleam of hope in his eyes, turned to face the entrance. There in all glory, Yukhei with a messy polo shirt and crumpled slacks.
He looked perturbed and he walked to Jungwoo but the latter walked past him once Jungwoo knocked himself off out of his trance. As Jungwoo walked past Yukhei swiftly (he's surprised of the agility he gained at the time), tears were falling now. Jungwoo kept walking. He doesn't even know the streets around the new neighbourhood. He thought he just needed to get himself away from Yukhei.
It was no surprise that Jungwoo could hear his name being called out. Yukhei repeatedly called his name. Jungwoo kept walking. He was so ashamed of himself, for actually expecting something and plain disappointed in Yukhei, for treating his fragile heart this way. How could they ever be friends from now on?
''Jungwoo-hyung, wait!'' Yukhei screamed and judging from how loud his voice appeared, he's catching up with Jungwoo's frantic steps. Jungwoo didn't stop although a part of him told him to because what's the point of running away. The consequences of running away rather than facing his problems will lead Jungwoo to nowhere yet all he wanted to do back then was to run away. Away to the end of the horizon even. ''Just leave me alone. I need time to just process—''
Yukhei grabbed Jungwoo by the wrist, instantly turning the latter around to face each other. Jungwoo protested against the touch, mewling short 'no's. Yukhei gripped Jungwoo's a little harder. He was careful not hurt the older but he needed Jungwoo's attention. ''Jungwoo-hyung! Listen to me, please.'' Yukhei said with a dread in his voice that Jungwoo instantly stopped protesting but his eyes stayed glued to the road.
The night was oddly quiet now that Jungwoo noticed (until they ruined the serene quietness of the neighbourhood with their ‘drama’, that is). ''Jungwoo-hyung, look at me, please.'' Yukhei requested, his voice laced with a kind of softness that made Jungwoo almost complied. ''Please, pretty please.'' Yukhei said, with desperation this time.
''My eyes are red.'' Jungwoo softly muttered under his breath. Jungwoo's downcast eyes looked beautiful to Yukhei. ''I'm so sorry.'' Yukhei moved his hands up to linger under Jungwoo's chin, slowly elevating the older's gaze. Jungwoo's gaze moved to Yukhei's. Yukhei looked dishevelled. He was sweating and Jungwoo could almost hear his frantic breathing. Jungwoo almost smiled but this whole misunderstanding hasn't been cleared up yet so he bit his inner cheek to stop from looking like a goon.
Yukhei didn't notice Jungwoo's inner struggle and instead, he continued. ''I like you, Jungwoo-hyung. I truly do. I suck at showing it, I know. I just—'' Yukhei stopped for a moment. He placed both of his hands on his face, covering his red face. Jungwoo could see through the small spaces between Yukhei's fingers that he was on the verge of crying so Jungwoo did what he thought was the most appropriate at the time. He hugged Yukhei.
''Jungwoo-hyung, I like you. I'm sorry our first date went like this. I thought I could have done this. I thought I could face my feelings towards you. I want to love you in a way you would know as well but something in me..'' Jungwoo encouraged Yukhei to take deep breaths and Yukhei chuckled nervously. Yukhei placed his chin on top of Jungwoo's head. They embraced each other on the pavements of the unknown neighbourhood and Yukhei felt as if all of his heart's contents was going to burst out. He's happy.
''I'm always scared. Scared of facing up to any problems, scared to face my own feelings, scared to lose myself in times where things don't go my way. You've not seen all of me. I'm imperfect and I won't be the perfect boyfriend but I like you. I'm sorry. Please, can you accept me?'' Yukhei was crying full-blast now. Jungwoo teared up once again. ''Yukhei, I like you too. I'm imperfect as well. We're imperfect but that just shows how compatible we are, won't it?'' Jungwoo laughed into Yukhei's chest. He snuggled against the warmth. He loved Yukhei's soft pats on his head.
''Thank you, hyung. Thanks a lot.''
''Want to head back to the café? I might have ordered something.'' Jungwoo asked but his arms stayed encircled around Yukhei's waist. Jungwoo could feel Yukhei's chest heaving up and down as he laughed.
''Sure, let's do over our first date.''