Work Text:
They've been together long before I was part of the gang. What I didn't expect tho, was to be accepted by the group AND by them.
I've known them for years, and I know they were rivals long before they were a couple. It even took me a while to realize that they were even a couple. I mean we were all together in NCAA before they both decided to migrate. That time, I've already admired them both enough to notice their rivalry could turn into something. I was kinda right because when they migrated, their names were too intertwined that when you say the name of one, you'd automatically think of the other.
I guess I wasn't too much into the enjoyment of rivalries as they were. I mean anyone would think I'm not athletic, but there were some good years. But something about their rivalry really makes me excited, that they can forget about everything and just enjoy whatever it is they are trying to compete against with one another. I'm not talking just about sports, mind you. They competed at everything, acads, sports, choir, even non whimsical things like drinking and fashion.
I guess I put them in a pedestal before so when I joined the gang, I really felt awkward. Most of them have established friendships by the time I came in, so it took me a while to even think I was part of the gang. What I didn't expect tho was for the 2 people I put on a pedestal to be the ones to actually break my walls.
Everybody likes to hang out a lot and most of the time they invited me over when I was new, but I'd be too awkward and just keep to myself when I went over to whoever invited's place. It was mostly Salle who hung around me or asked me how my day was just to start small talk with me. I knew he'd always feel greatful that time I helped him out when he was starting. So I was thinking it was him being nice and wanting to get back by helping me feel comfortable. What I didn't know tho, was at that time he really wanted me to think of him specially, like how he was thinking of me as special already. I'd be the clueless bookworm I am until a certain blue-eyed man tells me this after a long time.
At that time, I was so new and he was so accepting, I automatically found myself in his company more than the others. Tho occasionally, I find myself enjoying playing games with Ace or eating streetfood with Phil. People would always look for me through Salle. For a short while, it didn't bother me. Until I learned Neo was bothered by it.
Neo didn't confront me tho. Nobody ever did. I just heard through a barely closed door. I was about to enter because I just thought it was Salle inside the room, it was a good thing I stopped myself in time to hear Neo arguing with him. Salle was trying to pacify him by telling him we were just buddies. When I realized I was getting in between them, I knew what I had to do. I need to leave the gang.
As much as it pains me I had to leave the gang, I wouldn't answer their calls, I actively evaded them when I see them. I know the gang was confused at my sudden departure but I had to. If I was with them, Salle would come near me. I don't want anyone to fight because of me, so I had to leave them. I realized that I became dependent on the gang only when I left because of the loneliness I felt but let me be stubborn because I also know the rift I've caused between the couple.
What I didn't expect tho, was Neo to be the one on my doorstep asking for me to go back. He said he doesn't know what happened but he wants me back. I didn't understand why he wanted me back so I asked. He simply said because he didn't know me well enough for me to leave and that he wanted to get to know me. I didn't understand. Was it Salle's prompting that he's saying these? Was it because they figured out why he left and trying to find a way around it so he can go back to their circle? My confusion might have shown on my face because Neo started assuring me he didn't tell anyone in the gang and he himself really wanted to get to know me. He told me he's been nothing but busy so he keeps missing out on getting to know me and that it was a shame because when he finally had the time, I decided to lay low. It was then that I realized that he really did, mostly, not join hanging out because he's been busy. I was struck with the idea that that might be why Salle also kept him company. He was a Neo subsitute. I masked my pain and said yes. Unknown to myself that he was genuinely happy to be given a chance to get to know me, the guy they only had a few seasons at NCAA with but genuinely wanted to be friends with and had a crush on when he left. I wouldn't know about this until after a few dates with him already. Right now tho, I feel like I'm just his shadow that he wants to know about. The guy his boyfriend hang outs with.
I started hanging out with him. We were with the gang, but it almost seemed like it was just the 2 of us. We had more unexpected connections between the 2 of us than I even had with Salle. Our conversations flowed. Even as we weren't talking we would understand one another. If I'm going to be honest, him more than me. I didn't expect everything to be so easy between us. It's so great that he understood me so easily. I found myself drawn to him as well.
What is happening? What am I feeling? These 2 guys I used to admire from afar are consuming my thoughts again. Do they plan to revive my old age crush on them? Do they know? What do I do if they know? Am I doing to cause a rift again? Should I leave them? I don't think I'll be able to just admire them from the sidelines anymore. What do I do?
I didn't know what happened but I find myself in my room with a damp cloth to my head. I was about to push it out of the way when I felt a hand trying to stop me. I looked up to see Neo. What's he doing in my room? I was just about to ask when I noticed Salle also coming to my room with a tray of food. He didn't hesitate and just asked them. It seems he was spacing out on the way home and they happen to witness him passing out and almost falling to the ground were it not for Salle's athletic reflexes, he really would have kissed the ground.
I wanted to be embarrassed but as it stands, I'm soo sick to even think that way. I let them take care of me. Salle making food for the 3 of us and Neo wiping away my sweat and changing my wet cloth at regular intervals. I was expecting them to leave when night comes but they didn't. How do I know? I wake up with 2 heads by my shoulder and 2 arms wrapped around my middle. I thankfully have a bed big enough to fit the 3 of us. I guess they warmed my body enough to scare my fever away. I took the cloth off my head and notice the 2 bodies next to me. It was so nice to have the 2 of them lying next to me. I guess I did make them worried enough to not leave me. I wish I can keep them like this again. Should I get sick again before I wake up like this again? This isn't gonna be true. Someday I'd wake up a lot like this but not because I was sick but because they're there.
I savored the moment as it lasted because it wasn't long before Neo woke up. His drowzy good morning melted me more than it should. He poked Salle so I could move but Salle just ended up curling against me and hugging the air out of me. Neo poked him again and he relented by saying good morning against my neck. I shivered by his hot breath and replied to their greetings with a good morning of my own. Salle released me to stand and make food yet again. Neo started checking me again, happy I wasn't running a temperature anymore. I was afraid they'd leave and think everything was just a dream but before my thoughts could even form Neo told me they'd stay until they were sure my fever was really gone. I smiled at him. I couldn't contain it.
It was that day that he truly appreciated the couple. They bicker, they dance around each other like different poles. It was really fun watching them ans he knew then why they were together. Rather than poles, they looke more like the 2 sides of a coin, 2 parts of one whole part. Or that's what it seemed like to me. I guess I really should give up on them. When they leave my room today, they'll bring my feelings along with them. I'll just watch then fron the sidelines like this.
This was it, they're about to leave. I should probably smile and greet them. Before I can even say my goodbyes, I was stunned by how Neo was looking intently at me then at Salle like they were having a silent conversation. I was scared they'd say they're staying some more because I was already readying myself to let go of all the things I felt. When they were done having that silent conversation, they each held one of my hand, Neo with my left hand and Salle with my right. They both looked at me soo intently I think I was becoming nauseous again. I was about to tell them to go when I felt their hold on me tighten and Salle say they wanted to be with me. They both have wanted me for a long time, and him passing out yesterday cemented everything for them. He told me how they were both so scared he fainted by the road that they never want that to happen again. Neo added that they'll take care of him and that they can't think of the same thing happening to him again. I didn't even know I was crying until I felt Salle wiping my tears and Neo smiling so genuinely at me stunned me. How can I even decide to stop loving them when I can see them smiling at me like this breaking my walls like it wasn't there. I couldn't stop my tears as I said yes and accepted them in an embrace. Accepted them to my life.