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“That’s not strategically sound,” Steve complained, attempting to take the game controller away from Danny. “You have to build the barracks first.”
“Listen, Mr. Back-Seat-Gamer. You can’t build the barracks until you have enough wood. You won’t ever have enough wood if you don’t build the sawmill first.”
“You’ll be overrun by the enemy forces if you don’t build the barracks,” Steve argued, pointing at the angry cartoon men jumping up and down in a most non-threatening way.
“I told you – they don’t come after you. They just get in your way when you need to go down that path,” Danny said, pointing at the roadway that still had to be built in order to advance to the next level.
“Barracks should always come first,” Steve said stubbornly.
“Sawmill. Then farm, then expand the worker camp, then the barracks,” Danny countered.
“You’ll never survive to build the barracks the way you’re going about it,” Steve said. He leaned back into the couch with a huff. “Not strategically sound.”
“Fine,” Danny said, handing over the controller. “Fine, SEALboy. Do it your way. You’ll never get off this level.”
Steve smiled triumphantly. His “of course I’m right, I’m a SEAL” posture began to wilt almost immediately, as soon as the game informed him he could not build that road because he didn’t have enough wood. He couldn’t chop the tree to get the wood because he didn’t have enough food or gold. He couldn’t build the bridge to get the gold waiting on the other side because he didn’t have enough wood, food, or water.
“Didn’t build a gold mine, I see,” Danny said, a distinct smirk on his face at Steve’s character being mired in place by a lack of resources.
“Gold mine. You never said anything about needing a gold mine,” Steve protest.
“You’ll also need to build a boat. To cross the river. But you don’t have enough food, wood, water, gold, or workers to do that because you insisted that the barracks was the top priority,” Danny said. He didn’t bother to hide his laughter at Steve’s growing frustration.
“A boat? And what’s this snake doing here?” Steve demanded.
“Oh yeah. You have to click the snake to make it disappear. You can’t do anything else until you destroy it.”
“Why aren’t the soldiers dealing with the snake?” Steve asked as he chased the snake with the clicker, finally making it vanish.
“Soldiers are just for the marauders. Once they are banished, the soldiers no longer exist,” Danny said, pointing at the screen where the barracks stood empty and useless.
“So now I have no food, no gold, no wood, no water, and no soldiers?” Steve asked in dismay.
“Yep. That’s where your ‘strategically sound’ game play has left you,” Danny said.
Steve tried to ignore the mockery in Danny’s tone but it was not possible. All he could do was click on various objects in the game world to be told over and over again he didn’t possess sufficient materials to make use of the items tantalizing him. The game very soon informed him that his time had run out and he would have to start from the beginning.
“Really?” Steve said, eyeing the game in a dangerous way, one that usually preceded the use of explosives and heavy gun fire. “I ran out of time? That’s bullshit.”
“That’s the game, babe. Try again without building your strategically sound barracks first. Start with the sawmill and you’ll do much better.”
“I’m going to start dinner. You build your stupid sawmill,” Steve said, returning the controller and leaving the living room.
Danny was glad all the banging coming from kitchen was from pots and pans. He didn’t think the plates and glasses would stand up to Steve’s frustration at his strategically sound failure.