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“Thank you for the e-mail”
He kept looking into her eyes, trying to understand what he saw there.
“Well actually… -" Sana started, but Noora interrupted her. “No, it’s okay, Sana.” She looked up at him. “Can we talk?”
He nodded and motioned to his car. She followed him, still having that strange look on her face. He didn’t get it. She was the one who reached out, who e-mailed him, asking him to come back if he still loved her.
As if he ever could have stopped loving her.
When they got in the car he asked if it was okay to go to his place. Our. He almost said “our place”. Almost. But now that she was acting so strange, he wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
Maybe it had seemed too simple: going back to Norway, going back to Noora. Just going back wouldn’t fix everything. Even though they both loved each other, it was not enough anymore. They really did need to talk.
“I didn’t write an e-mail.” Noora suddenly said. His head immediately snapped up. “I mean, technically, I wrote about a hundred e-mails, but I never sent one. I guess Sana did. So I don’t know what this e-mail said, or if she sent one that was in my drafts. I don’t know.”
He was in shock. She never sent the e-mail? She didn’t know what it said? Did she even still love him then?
He took a deep breath, and pulled over. They had arrived at their – no, his place. He didn’t get out, he just turned to look at her.
“It said ‘I love you and if you love me, come to Oslo.’”
She nodded, and for a few moments she seemed lost in thought. Until.
“Well, that was a whole lot shorter than everything I ever wrote, but I guess Sana got the main point across.” She looked up at him. “I do still love you, William. I am glad you came.”
He tried not to smile, but failed thoroughly, and exhaled a huge sigh of relief. “I love you” he said, and he could no longer hold himself back, he needed to kiss her. So he did.
It wasn’t even like coming home. It was better.
Even though he could kiss Noora forever, even though the world might literally come crashing down around them and he wouldn’t notice because he was kissing Noora Amalie Sætre, he did manage to pull back.
“We do need to talk though.”
She smiled that beautiful smile of hers. “Yes, we do.”
“When I came back from Oslo, I was too afraid to tell you I didn’t do it. That I couldn’t do it. It was too hard.”
“I should’ve come with you. I should’ve been there for you.”
“William, you asked me multiple times to come along. You even had the plane ticket booked. I didn’t let you come. I didn’t want you to have to face them. To have to hear me testify. To have to hear all that stuff. I was afraid it would come between us.” She rolled her eyes. “And then it did come between us, because I couldn’t do it.” She looked up at him. “I always thought you were mad at me for not –“
“Noora, no!”
“Yes, William. You always said you weren’t mad, but I could see it. I know you. I know you were mad.”
“Of course I was mad!” He tried not to raise his voice, but the emotions were running high and he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How did he not realize that she felt like that before. “Noora,” he said, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “I was mad, but never at you. I was mad at Nico. Mad at the justice system that you even had to testify. How was that recorded tape not enough? How was the picture he took not enough? I was mad they even wanted to make you testify and relive all that shit when there was evidence enough. Fuck.” He sighed. “I was mad because Nico had been getting away with all this shit his entire life and I really thought this would do it. This would make him pay. Not enough for everything he ever did of course, but it would’ve been something. And I was disappointed and mad and frustrated. But never at you, Noora. Never ever at you.”
The tears were threatening to escape her eyes, so he pulled her closer. “I didn’t know.” She whispered. “I was so convinced it was me.”
“Noora, Noora, Noora. How could I ever be mad at you for backing out of that shit. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been for you. I wish I could’ve done it for you. I wish I could’ve done something to make him pay. Especially because it almost broke us up. I can’t even believe I believed that drittsekk in the first place.”
“It’s okay, I understand.”
“No, Noora, it is not okay. I can’t believe I trusted a known psychopath more than you. How fucking stupid was I.”
“But it was your brother, William. Why would he lie to you?”
William snorted. “He has lied his entire life, I don’t know why I chose that moment to trust him.” He turned to her, suddenly with a wary look in his eyes. “Actually, I do know.”
He took a deep breath. “I’ve always felt kind of on my own, you know. Cause my family is so fucked, I told you this before, I only ever trusted the guys. Well, even from the guys I only ever truly trusted Chris. And my family, they always left me. My alcoholic mom, my workaholic dad, my psychopath brother. And I pretended I didn’t mind, I was better of anyway. But I always wanted to trust Nico, even after everything. I felt like I owed to him or something, because he was my brother and after all, he didn't have anyone else left either. And when I met Chris and the guys I knew I was better off and I was glad my family left me alone. But it took a long time for me to fully let Chris in. To believe he wouldn't leave. And actually, it took a long time with you too. I was like always waiting for something or someone to screw us up. I couldn’t believe I really had you, you know. That you chose me like I chose you. I was so scared you were gonna change your mind.”
He looked at her again. “Remember when we joked about you getting water?” She nodded. “It’s so silly, but I really was afraid you were gonna leave. And then we fought because I had been such a dumbass to smash that bottle on that guy’s head and I was afraid again you were gonna leave. When we didn’t talk for so long, I got so scared. I know it’s stupid, but I always was afraid. And then when you left in London, I felt like I deserved it. That you didn’t love me anymore. That I got what I got coming.”
“But William, you can’t have a relationship like that. You can’t be together and expect the other one to leave all the time. That’s no way to live. A normal relationship has fights, has discussions, has disagreements, has problems sometimes. And we need to talk and get through things. I love seeing your side of things, even though I don’t always agree with it.”
He smiled a little. “When you left, I thought so many times what I would’ve given just to have an argument with you one more time.”
She rolled her eyes. “I am not saying we need to argue all the time. We are allowed to agree on some things, you know.”
“Like how much we love each other?” he smiled.
“For example, yes.” She said, giving him a kiss.
“I can’t believe this all could’ve been avoided if I hadn’t been so stupid to shut you out.”
She shook her head. “We were both in the wrong. We just stopped talking to each other. We can never stop talking about stuff again.”
“I promise never to stop talking to you.”
She laughed and put her arms around his neck. “William Magnusson, talking to me forever? I would love to see that haha!”
He rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“Yes.” She admitted, and kissed him again. “I also promise to never stop talking to you.”
“Although, I can imagine a few other things we can also never stop doing, besides talking.” He smiled, looking at her lips, and then into her eyes, and her lips again.
She smiled right back at him. “Oh really? Well, I would love to see that too.”