Chapter Text
Sasuke sulked his entire way from ANBU headquarters to Konoha’s largest hospital.
He had been back in the village for six months and still couldn’t find anyone willing to hire him. Leaf village shinobi and civilians alike refused help from him because of his unsavory past despite Sasuke trying his best to express that he’s grown into a better, kinder person. Though Sasuke himself doesn’t fully believe he has, the rejection still stings.
Especially today, when the ANBU captain declined his application into the force, claiming that ranks were completely filled. Bullshit, Sasuke had thought, how can ANBU be fully staffed? Just because a war ended doesn’t mean people aren’t getting killed. Wait two hours until someone gets blown up or stabbed by rogue nin, and give me their position. Of course, Sasuke hadn’t said that. He'd just nodded and walked out.
It’s not that he’s eager to be ANBU, he just knows his skill level is above every member, and being treated like some D-class ninja pisses him off.
Sasuke stopped his musings when he neared the hospital doors. He opened the door with his intact arm and stepped inside.
The secretary at the desk was a young lady who Sasuke often saw during his weekly visits, as Sakura ordered. The lady was currently on the phone, but she quickly ended the call when she saw his approaching figure.
“She’s on floor three, in room 304,” was all the woman said, and Sasuke was a bit grateful to not have to initiate conversation.
As Sasuke walked toward the room, he overheard a loud, achingly familiar voice. “Aw, thanks, Sakura! I’m trying really hard to gain control of this hand, and it’s totally working. Look at this!”
Sasuke opened the door to find Naruto seated on a hospital chair, bending fingers on his right hand while Sakura held his arm steady. Ever since the two boys blew each others’ dominant arms off in their last fight in the Valley of the End, it had been an annoying, tedious road to recovery. Sasuke hated any sort of setback, and losing an arm is a huge one. They had both gotten prosthetics, which miraculously allowed them to focus chakra and regulate arm movement, but it was draining and a bit difficult. Sasuke was miserable at using his prosthetic at first, but he practiced and became proficient, as always.
Sasuke watched as a ball of chakra formed at Naruto’s fingertips. Naruto’s eyes reflected the blue glow, and his teeth flashed into a grin.
Naruto looked up, meeting his gaze with Sasuke's, and murmured joyfully, “Rasengan.”
Sasuke darted his eyes from Naruto’s face, experiencing the strange pain that always comes with proximity to Naruto, and observed Sakura as she whistled, impressed.
“Damn, Naruto. I didn’t think you could do hand signs, let alone attempt a jutsu with that hand. That’s incredible,” she said.
Naruto was awestruck. “Holy shit, you just complimented me! That never happens, not even after I saved the world. Do you ever remember her saying something nice to me then, Sasuke?”
Naruto turned his attention back to Sasuke, obviously expecting an answer.
“I’m not sure, she might have said something nice to you while I was in prison,” Sasuke replied after a beat, reflecting back to those three months spent in an ugly cell. He got off early due to good behavior, some strings pulled by Kakashi, and Naruto’s ability to relentlessly beg and annoy correctional officers.
There was a pause. Up until this point, Sasuke had never spoken about his imprisonment, and Sakura and Naruto just assumed it was because he was still bitter. However, Sasuke didn’t say the words in a withering tone. In fact, one could have said that Sasuke was joking.
Sasuke was bitter, but he realized it was easier to joke about his dark past than to appear affected. He was playing a role like he had all of his life; now, though, it was a positive one. If people were going to accept Sasuke back into society, it would be best for them to assume that he had become a good person.
There was silence, and then, Naruto’s smile turned up a few hundred watts.
“No fucking way, Sasuke just made a joke! The world is turning upside down. I don’t know either of you. I’ve gotta be dreaming,” Naruto swooned onto Sakura’s shoulder, and she laughed.
At times like this, Sasuke saw just how much the two have grown together during the years Sasuke spent away from the village. They’ve cried together, leaned on each other, and forged a deep emotional connection that Sasuke will never be able to touch. Sakura and Naruto were left behind, and they became stronger because of it. They are Team Seven, and Sasuke is a mere stranger.
Their bond hurt Sasuke, more than he had ever expected it to.
“Naruto, your time is up. I have other patients today,” she gestured to Sasuke.
Naruto grumbled and pouted. “This is blatant favoritism and I will not stand for it. You only spent thirty minutes with me. Do you not love me anymore?”
He continued his whining, and Sasuke could have rolled his eyes. Anyone could see that Sakura would do anything for Naruto, and if she had to choose between the two, Sasuke would be left in the dust. Not that Sasuke could really blame her. When he was younger, he blatantly disregarded her feelings, disrespected her, and even tried to kill her once. That would put anyone off.
Sasuke didn’t deserve either of them. He had no clue why they still made an effort to help.
Naruto hugged Sakura tightly and started towards the door. He sent one last brilliant smile in Sasuke’s direction, clasping his shoulder on the way out.
Sasuke, ignoring the phantom feeling of Naruto’s skin on his, quickly took Naruto’s spot in the chair. The seat was still warm.
“You two are too much for me,” Sakura said, looking at the closed room door.
Sasuke didn’t respond.
“I heard you went to ANBU earlier today. Did they give you a job?” Sakura asked, still trying at conversation. Sakura was hopeful, it seemed.
Sasuke was pretty sure that even if he did get a job with ANBU, he wasn’t supposed to go around advertising the position. Most ninja occupations were top secret, ANBU especially.
Nevertheless, Sasuke replied with a bland tone, “No. Their ranks were full.”
“Bullshit,” Sakura answered scathingly. Sasuke was slightly mollified at her reaction.
“Maybe. Probably. But it’s not like I can question them. The only reason they even let me apply was that Kakashi just became Hokage, and I was his student. No one wants to slight him now.” Sasuke knew if it was up to ANBU or the council or any of Konoha’s nin, they’d have Sasuke in front of a firing squad in an instant. Cut down by my own village, just like the rest of my clan, Sasuke thought. Dying in a similar fashion sounded like poetic justice. He would be an Uchiha until the very end.
Sasuke was snapped out of his fantasies of being executed by Sakura’s voice.
“Kakashi already hates being Hokage, and it’s been a week. ‘Too much paperwork,’ he said. How lazy is that? It’s not like he even has to do any of it, he already has tons of aids. He just has to talk to other leaders and make treaties. This isn’t a trying time for us, we’re probably more at peace than we’ve ever been.” Sakura took hold of Sasuke’s right arm and began to take his blood pressure.
Sasuke could have guessed as much. As talented as Kakashi was, he really had no motivation to lead.
“He’s already looking for someone to take his place if you can believe it.” Sakura continued, letting go of his right arm to grab his left. “And I’ll give you one guess who his top choice is.”
Sakura looked into Sasuke's eyes, expectantly.
“Naruto’s eighteen. He can’t lead a village.” Sasuke replied, but he wasn’t quite sure. Naruto could do anything he wanted, it was part of his charm. He could convince the moon to fall out of the sky, or the earth to stop turning if he wanted to.
“Gaara was fifteen when he became Kazekage. But anyway, that’s not what Kakashi was insinuating: he wants to train Naruto first, make sure he’s ready, and then let him become Hokage a few years down the road.”
Sasuke thought back to the short time when he wanted to become Hokage, when he believed he could be the one to correct a corrupt system. He wanted to end Konoha’s neglect of orphans. He wanted powerful families to be treated like people instead of chess pieces. Sasuke wanted to give children a choice whether or not to become a ninja, and not just have their parents make that decision for them.
Of course, he later realized that there was so much more to becoming Hokage: that Sasuke always had to put the village’s safety above his own life, that he needed to have the courage to make tough decisions for the sake of others, and that he never would get a single moment to be by himself.
Sasuke didn’t even like Konoha, why would he give up his life for it?
“It’s too bad Naruto doesn’t want the job.”
Naruto, on the other hand, would be an amazing Hokage. He is selfless and stupid and brave—
Wait.
“What?” Sasuke asked, not even making an effort to hide his surprise.
Sakura looked pleased to have caught Sasuke off-guard. It must have been a nice change from his practiced disinterest.
“Yup. He said no before Kakashi even finished the question. He thanked Kakashi for the offer, then turned out of the Hokage’s office and left. No one knows why. I wasn’t even there, actually, Shikamaru told me yesterday.” Her eyes shone with interest.
Sakura then asked Sasuke to bend each finger on his left hand, and then to make a fist. Afterward, she asked if he’s been experiencing any pain.
Sasuke shook his head, but his mind was far from the hospital room. Why would Naruto decline the offer? What made him change his mind? It was his dream from when he was a child, wasn’t it? Sasuke got his own dream—at least before a harsh light was shed on his brother’s past— so why shouldn’t Naruto? How well does Sasuke actually know Naruto, if he didn’t foresee this?
Sasuke was gone for five years. A lot can happen to a person during that time. He should know.
—————
Sasuke just wanted to sleep. He was exhausted after his rejection from ANBU and conversation with Sakura, and even though the sun hadn’t even set, he was anxious to go home and rest. Not that he found much solace in dreams.
However, Sasuke’s feet seemed to have a mind of their own.
Sasuke turned away from the road that led to his home and soon found himself standing feet away from Naruto’s apartment. He hadn’t forgotten about what Sakura had said. It’s too bad Naruto doesn’t want the job kept gnawing at the back of his mind.
Evidently, the words bothered him enough to warrant a visit to Naruto’s home.
Up until a few weeks ago, Sasuke’s every move was tracked. ANBU and jounin alike watched him like hawks to make completely sure of his intentions in Konoha. They stood outside his bedroom, peeked in windows, and probably followed him to the toilet. Their presence was suffocating, and Sasuke never visited Naruto—or anyone, really—during that time.
Sasuke wasn’t sure that he really wanted to visit Naruto now, either. He was the closest thing Sasuke had to a friend, before and after his defection, and Sasuke is unsure how to maintain that tentative friendship.
Sasuke cursed his traitorous feet for leading him there, and turned away, only to hear a door open, and Naruto’s unmistakable voice.
“Hey, bastard, are you just gonna stare at the door or come inside? I could feel your chakra signature a mile away, and I don’t want neighbors to call the police and report that Sasuke Uchiha is stalking the building.”
Naruto looked comfortable. He was wearing a rumpled T-shirt and orange sweatpants. It was jarring to see Naruto in something other than his hideous jumpsuit. Naruto looked human; he looked reachable.
Sasuke nodded after a moment and walked into Naruto’s apartment.
Naruto hadn’t moved from the apartment he had as a child, despite the fact that he could undoubtedly afford to live in one of Konoha’s nicer districts. He probably stayed here for sentimental reasons; in a world where everything is constantly shifting, some familiarity is welcome.
Sasuke only vaguely remembered Naruto’s apartment from their genin days. It was as messy as one could expect from a 12-year-old boy, filled with empty ramen cups and kunai dangerously lying about and clothes strewn haphazardly. There was something inexplicably lonely about the sight, he remembered. If Naruto had parents to enforce rules, someone to pick up after him, an adult to scold him for leaving out weapons, his home wouldn’t look like that. Naruto lived alone his life entire life, and for all his immaturity when he was a boy, he had to grow up very fast.
Now, Naruto’s apartment was still messy, but his clothes were hung out on a line, the plants he had in the living room were thriving, and there were no signs of dust on his mantel or stains on his furniture. Naruto could take care of himself.
He saw the picture of Team Seven on the mantelpiece, Naruto and Sasuke glaring at each other while Sakura and Kakashi kept the peace. That moment felt worlds away. He looked at the only other photo in the room, which featured the Fourth Hokage smiling with a beautiful woman. They both looked very happy and very in love. Their resemblance to Naruto was startling.
Sasuke felt like he was glimpsing into Naruto’s soul, even though he was just in an apartment. Being here felt dangerously intimate.
Naruto noticed Sasuke’s line of sight. “They’re heroes,” Naruto said matter-of-factly. “I’m so proud to be their son. But I miss them every day.”
Sasuke turned his eyes to Naruto. Naruto wasn’t looking at him anymore, instead focusing on the photo of his parents, his mind far away. Naruto had gotten older, no longer the lanky boy he used to be. His face had gotten sharper, his jawline more defined, his scars a stark contrast to an otherwise unmarred face. He looked more content with himself. Confident.
Right now, he looked thoughtful. The expression was uncommon, but it sat well on his face. Sasuke felt that familiar pain in his chest and looked back to the picture.
“Don’t tell anyone, but sometimes, I wish that someone else saved the village. That they were still here, and I could still have them with me.” Naruto confessed those words like it was a horrible, selfish thing to want one’s parents back. Sasuke didn’t say anything.
The two of them stayed like that for a moment, but then Naruto’s pensive expression vanished, and he smiled a wide grin. Back to himself in an instant.
“Are ya hungry?”
Sasuke hadn’t eaten since breakfast, actually, but he hadn’t planned to stay for dinner. He didn’t actually know why he came in the first place. All he knew is that he had to figure out why Naruto said no to being Hokage.
He didn’t want to bring it up yet, though. So dinner it is.
Sasuke barely got a nod out before Naruto grabbed his wrist—Sasuke’s sharp intake of breath hopefully went unnoticed— and dragged him into his kitchen.
“I’ve been trying to cook! You’d never think it, but cup noodles can get old, and besides, I need to keep my figure.” Naruto added with a laugh.
Sasuke made a dubious noise. Naruto could eat nothing but garbage for the rest of his life, and still work it all off during his hellish training sessions.
“I’m actually getting pretty good at it. Well, at cooking some things, other things I burn the hell out of. I made gyudon yesterday, and it was so amazing, I could have cried. I wanted to call everyone in Konoha to come here and eat it. I figured they were busy, though.”
Sasuke knew that if Naruto called, the whole village would rush here in an instant.
“But you’re better company than all of them, I think,” Naruto said after a moment. He quickly turned around while Sasuke boxed away the rush of emotion that came with his statement.
Sasuke was currently stationed by the cabinets, as far as he could possibly be from Naruto, who stood in front of the fridge, vegetables in hand. Sasuke associated physical closeness with emotional attachments—unless he was in battle—and considering how emotionally volatile he’s been in Naruto’s presence lately, he thought it was best not to take any chances.
Naruto continued to fill the kitchen with mindless prattling while he tried to get his ingredients together, often referring back to a recipe he wrote on a napkin, and Sasuke realized that Naruto might be trying to calm his own nerves.
Sasuke didn’t think Naruto would be nervous about another presence in his home. Sasuke was definitely powerful, perhaps one of the best ninja in the village, but Naruto could keep up with him. More than keep up with him, Sasuke mused, glancing at Naruto’s prosthetic arm.
In fact, during some of the more recent sparring sessions between the two, Naruto laid Sasuke on his ass.
Regardless, Sasuke found that he didn’t want to make Naruto anxious.
After a lull in chatter, Sasuke asked, “Do you need…help? Cooking?”
Naruto paused and turned. The left side of his mouth quirked. He looked so bright then, his messy blond hair catching the light, his eyes aglow.
“Sure, Sasuke. Can you chop up this onion for me?”
—————
“You know, Sakura has never lost an arm-wrestling match.”
The two boys were seated in the living room now, hours later, the food made and consumed. Naruto stuffed himself with eight plates of yakisoba. Sasuke only ate two, but it really was good. Much better than he’d expected Naruto’s cooking to be.
The sun had already set, and Naruto’s nerves had obviously vanished with it, his contentment palpable. He lazed on back on the arm of the couch like a cat, his feet propped up.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow by way of reply.
“Won every single one.” Naruto continued, not minding that Sasuke didn’t speak much, pleased to be holding a conversation with him at all. “She’s beaten Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, Choji, Lee. And me, of course. Twice. She even beat Tsunade! Well, the old hag was just out of the hospital, so it was kind of cheating.”
Naruto moved slightly on the couch, his shirt riding up an inch. Sasuke tried very hard not to look at his exposed skin and instead focused on a small cactus sitting on Naruto’s windowsill like it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen.
Sasuke knew that he should leave. It’s late, and he doesn’t want to do or say anything stupid. He needed to make sense of his weird emotions on his own time, without Naruto there.
But he still hadn’t gotten the answer he came for.
Naruto voice filtered through his thoughts. “Tsunade was a good Hokage, don’t you think? She was smart and super powerful, and she kept smart, even during a war.”
Sasuke had to agree. “She did everything she could to protect Konoha.” To protect Konoha from me, especially.
Naruto got quiet then. He stared at the ceiling.
There was a long moment of silence. Then, Sasuke spoke.
“Why don’t you want to be Hokage?”
Naruto, caught off-guard, met Sasuke’s eyes. He moved into an upright position on the couch and planted his feet on the floor. His shirt fell back into place, a small blessing.
“You heard, huh?”
“The whole village heard.” Sasuke doubted Naruto expected his exchange with Kakashi to be kept secret. Naruto is probably just surprised that Sasuke, of all people, was the one to question him about it.
“I would have fainted if Kakashi-sensei had asked me a year ago,” Naruto said. “I would have snatched that Hokage hat right off of his head.”
“Why didn’t you, now?” Sasuke asked, prodding.
“I only wanted to become Hokage to be acknowledged. I wanted the people in this village to love and respect me. I was so sick of being lonely and hated that I was desperate to prove myself.” Naruto didn’t sound torn up about his miserable past; he was just being honest.
Naruto endured so much cruelty at the hands of these people, it was a miracle he didn’t turn out as bad as Sasuke.
He really was a saint.
“Now, I have people that care about me. So many people in this village respect me now. That really was all I wanted. I have Sakura, and Iruka, and Kakashi, and so many others,” Naruto paused for a moment, not taking his eyes off Sasuke’s. “And I have you.”
Sasuke felt like he was burning up inside.
Naruto smiled widely, “‘Sides, I don’t know anything about politics or making treaties or stuffy suits. Being holed up in an office would be torture. I’ll leave that to the boring people and keep doing cool shit like beating up bad guys and fighting on the front lines.”
Even though he wouldn’t admit it aloud, Sasuke was badly impressed by Naruto. When Sasuke was looking away, Naruto began to make his own decisions, fight his own battles. Even Naruto’s extensive pursuit of Sasuke wasn’t senseless. Naruto had lost something and wanted it back.
“I have to leave.” Sasuke declared, realizing that he got his answer and that there was no point in torturing himself any longer.
Naruto got to his feet and followed him towards the door, rubbing his neck, and looking like he could use some sleep himself.
Right as Sasuke put his fingers on the knob, another question popped into his head.
He turned quickly and was startled to find himself mere inches away from Naruto.
Up this close, Sasuke saw that his eyes were a darker blue than he’d originally thought. Sasuke could almost feel the warmth radiating from his skin, and if he moved his hand, just a bit, he would be touching his hip.
Sasuke stood very, very still.
Naruto didn’t move either, didn’t even take a step back to give Sasuke space.
“What is it?” Naruto asked, his voice low.
“If not you, then who?” Sasuke hoped his voice sounded unaffected, hoped he seemed like he always kept this close to boys who made him feel like he was on fire. He also hoped that Naruto understood his question, because he truly didn’t think he could get another word out.
Naruto beamed and Sasuke's heart pounded even faster.
“Kakashi’s next Hokage? I’m surprised you didn’t guess it! She was Tsunade’s favorite student, and she’s damn good at arm wrestling.”