Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“Kakashi.”

“Kakashi?”

Genma waves a hand in front of the vacant Copy-Nin’s face. Well, what he can see of it at least, basically a blank charcoal eye staring fixedly at a point somewhere over Genma’s right shoulder.

“Hm?” Kakashi blinks, snapping out of his momentary daze, his eye training on an unamused looking Genma. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Genma exhales a deep sigh and starts again. “We’ve finally been assigned our new team member. He’s a bit younger than everyone, but apparently his special ninjutsu more than makes up for any lack of experience. Kakashi-”

Kakashi had zoned out after the first sentence, his eye once again locating and resting on the man sitting in the waiting area, his foot tapping against the linoleum floor. Brown ruffled hair and eyes the shape and colour of almonds scan nervously around the room. His hands twist in his lap before he reaches up to adjust his hitai-ate, running his fingers idly down the side of the face protector that spans from his forehead down to his jaw.

Kakashi’s eye follows the movement. There’s just something captivating about his presence. Kakashi can’t put his finger on it, but when the man in question had entered the room, Kakashi was immediately enraptured. He can’t seem to look away.

At some point, Kakashi realizes, Genma must have given up on getting through to him, because he is suddenly across the room talking with the man Kakashi had been so keenly observing. He flinches when he realizes that Genma is now pointing directly at him, and Kakashi’s breath catches when the brown eyes lock on him.

Kakashi blames his sleep-deprived mind for all of this. Normally, he’s piercingly perceptive, but today he’s off his game. He forces himself to stand up, his knees stiff from having sat at the table all night filling out paperwork from their last mission. Kakashi makes his way across to where Genma and the other man are standing, his hand idly scratching the back of his neck. He lets out a yawn, mostly for performance’s sake, and halts when he’s standing next to Genma.

“Kakashi, this is Tenzō. Like I was saying before while you were so rudely day dreaming, he’s the newest member of our team. He’s been fully briefed on our mission.” Brown eyes meet grey, and Kakashi swears he can taste ozone in the air, almost like an electrical circuit connects when he and Tenzō lock eyes. The buzzing feeling last only for a split second, flashing away with the speed of a lightning bolt, and Kakashi extends his hand.

“Hatake Kakashi, ANBU Captain for Team Nine.” He half expects sparks to erupt when Tenzō clasps his hand and shakes it, his grip firm. But nothing happens.

And everything happens.

The eye contact Kakashi and Tenzō had been maintaining up to this point finally breaks as their hands fall to their sides. And Kakashi has the distinct feeling that things are about to change, though for better or worse he doesn’t know.

“Tenzō, pleased to meet you, Hatake Kakashi.” Tenzō looks between Genma and Kakashi, expectant.

“Kakashi,” Kakashi corrects. Tenzō looks at Kakashi curiously, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly, almost imperceptibly. Kakashi thinks he wouldn’t have even noticed the difference had he not been studying the man’s face previously, watching his mouth.

Wait. His mouth? Kakashi frowns, wondering at the strange thoughts swirling around in his admittedly addled mind. But then again, it’s not like Kakashi is normal, and he knows this. He doesn’t interact normally with people, doesn’t notice certain things, and has a tendency to obsess over others.

This is a new development, no doubt, but it’s not entirely shocking. Nothing really shocks Kakashi any more. Except maybe the electrical feeling that left his veins buzzing a moment ago.

“Kakashi-senpai,” Tenzō corrects, his mouth definitely turned upwards this time. Kakashi’s eye crinkles as he chuckles, and he looks over at Genma.

“We should head out. You know how much Raidō hates to be kept waiting.” Genma rolls his eyes, shifting the senbon between his teeth as he nods.

Genma looks over to Tenzō. “Think you can keep up, rookie?”

It only takes them fifteen minutes to get to the South Gate running at full speed. Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly since he did make it into ANBU, Tenzō manages to keep up. As Kakashi takes a deep breath, he notices that Tenzō doesn’t even look tired. In fact, he looks rather pleased, observing Kakashi with that faint quirk of the lips again. For some inexplicable reason, it makes Kakashi’s gut clench.

“That’s some stamina you’ve got.” Kakashi remarks, eying Tenzō. His gaze runs lazily from the standard sandals, up his black sweats, up his tight black shirt and steel ANBU chest protector, to his covered face. Kakashi feels the same kind of electrical shock he did before when those dark eyes meet his through the slits in his mask.

Despite the cat shaped mask, swirled with black and red streaks, Kakashi can picture Tenzō’s handsome face studying him.

Handsome? When had he become handsome? Striking maybe, but handsome? Kakashi shakes his head, trying but failing to understand his own mind. Not that Kakashi isn’t attracted to people, but he isn’t used to it. It doesn’t happen often, and when it does, he runs in the opposite direction. Attraction leads to emotion, and he’d rather not think about that.

Kakashi pushes aside his emotionally stunted thoughts that would have a shrink crying in a corner when Tenzō responds. “I’ve been training for this, for my first ANBU mission. I don’t want to fall behind.”

Kakashi can see the fire in his eyes. Obito, he can’t help but think. Kakashi can feel the memories twisting in his chest like a kunai, creating fresh cuts, never quite letting the wound heal.

“We should go,” Raito says impatiently, glancing between Kakashi and Tenzō. Kakashi nods, and they streak out the gate in a blur of black and silver, a shadowy mirage.

Once they’ve made it a decent distance from the village, as the sun is starting to fall behind the tops of the trees, they stop for a short break. Genma and Raidō go to fill up their canteens in a nearby stream, leaving Kakashi and Tenzō alone for the first time.

The tension is back. Electrical. Palpable.

Kakashi senses that Tenzō wants to say something. It’s as though he can hear his mind whirring. He’s not used to being so attuned to one person, and it’s disconcerting to say the least. But he can’t help but be fascinated by Tenzō, the way his dark brown eyes seemingly pierce straight through Kakashi’s mask.

Kakashi knows himself, knows he’s eccentric, strange, dark, hell he’s even been called sadistic, but it had been more of a joke when Obito had said it.

Obito, Kakashi thinks again. The kunai twists.

Tenzō shifts his position, appearing to have resolved himself to whatever it is he’s going to say. “I have to admit, when I found out I was going to be on a team with Hatake Kakashi, the great Copy-Nin himself, I was expectant, excited even.”

Kakashi stills. Most people aren’t this blunt with him, especially after mentioning his rather well known nickname. He raises a brow despite himself. He’s curious. “And, do I live up to your expectations?”

“Yes, and no,” Tenzō says slyly, his eyes glinting in the twilight.

Kakashi takes a step closer as though Tenzō’s words are magnetically pulling him in. Before he can think better of it, he removes his mask. It’s not strictly allowed while on an ANBU mission, but they’re still in Konoha and he can’t sense any hostile chakra. “Oh?” he says in mock anticipation. “Do tell.”

Tenzō follows suit and removes his mask, lips turned upwards. “Well, let’s just say there are some rumors about you. Okay, a lot. And they’re slightly conflicting, so I wasn’t sure what to expect.”

Kakashi cocks his head to the side slightly, eye crinkled.

Tenzō continues, “Some people are of the mind that you’re the village’s top shinobi. Others think you’re deranged.”

Kakashi chuckles to himself, looking down at the mask in his hands, the red lines looking like bloody gashes in the dimming light. He plays along, can’t help himself. “And, what side are you leaning towards, if I may ask?”

“A bit of both, I think. Maybe leaning slightly to deranged.” The charged moment of silence is broken when Kakashi laughs. He actually laughs out loud. Not a low chuckle or a fake laugh. This is... new. This is real emotion.

Normally, he would be worried about that, but he can’t help but feel a pleasant warmth spread through him from his chest all the way out to his extremities, fingertips tingling.

Kakashi gives into the magnetic pull and closes the distance between them, clapping Tenzō on the shoulder. “I think we’re going to get along just fine.”

He’s rewarded with a smile that brightens up the darkness that had settles over the clearing. The fire in his eyes is back. The electricity is flowing. Kakashi can feel it running through his hand, where it still grips Tenzō’s shoulder. And it’s a warm buzz.

Pleasant? Kakashi’s not sure, but neither of them flinch away.

His hand only drops when Raidō and Genma stroll back through the trees to meet them, talking between themselves animatedly. He had almost forgotten it was there.

Kakashi isn’t as close to Raidō and Genma as they are with each other, but it never bothered him. He knows he’s not amicable, not easy to be friends with, and this is by design. A long time ago, after Obito and Rin and Minato, Kakashi made the decision not to get closer than necessary to anyone. If he doesn’t love anyone, he can’t be hurt by them. It’s logical. It’s safe.

But Tenzō, in the few hours Kakashi has known him, is already bulldozing through his walls. And he’s not exactly upset about it.

Genma raises a brow as he looks between Kakashi and Tenzō, but he says nothing. Kakashi grabs the canteen Raidō extends to him, saying “We should head out again.”

They’re gone in a moment, shadows leaping through trees. All that’s left in the clearing is the fizzle of electricity, slowly dying out.

“So the group of missing nin we’re looking for,” Tenzō says as he runs, keeping pace with Kakashi, “they’re basically assassins for hire?”

Kakashi glances over to him, wishing for the first time since he joined ANBU that he could see the face beneath the mask when they talked. “Yes, essentially, our goal is to take them out before they can assassinate the lord of the Land of Rivers. If there were political turmoil there, it would be much harder for relations between Konoha and Suna. The Land of Rivers lies directly between them.”

“Hm, so we have to assassinate the assassins before they can assassinate their target. Wow, that’s a mouthful.”

Kakashi laughs again, despite himself. This is turning out to be an odd mission, and they haven’t actually done anything yet. He muses, “That’s one way to put it. I prefer to think of it as an exercise in moral relativism. They’re trying to fulfill their orders; we’re trying to fulfill ours. I suppose the winner is the one who kills everyone else first.”

This time, Tenzō laughs, and the sound is so bright and warm it leaves Kakashi dazed. He feels warm. He wants to hear that sound again, be the cause of it. Tenzō’s fire is catching. And he’s not sure how to feel about it.

But the warmth is… nice.

“Okay, I’ve changed my mind,” Tenzō says, laughter still in his voice. “I’m definitely leaning towards deranged.”

They keep pace, running side by side. Though the conversation died with Kakashi’s last chuckle, the silence between them is comfortable. And that’s not a feeling Kakashi normally associates with this kind of mission or with ANBU in general. It almost feels like he’s a genin again.

He tries to focus on the burning sensation in his legs while he runs, but Kakashi’s mind wanders back to the sound of Tenzō’s laugh. It’s like nothing he’s heard in years. Kakashi didn’t know he could make people laugh anymore. Well, laugh in earnest, laugh with him.

Kakashi feels an invisible pressure on his chest, right over his heart. It’s not the stabbing feeling he gets when he thinks about Obito or Rin. It’s tight, but not sharp.

Just what is going on with me, he asks himself, knowing there’s no answer he can give.

But the walls surrounding him are starting to crumble.

The four ANBU sit scattered around their makeshift camp, eating from their packs. Kakashi can hear Raidō and Genma arguing in quiet voices, but that’s a fairly regular occurrence. Normally, Kakashi is the silent one who sits slightly off to the side reading. Tonight is no exception, and Kakashi has his nose buried in his beloved Icha-Icha novel, tuning out the white noise easily.

“Is it any good?” Kakashi looks up at the sound of the voice. Tenzō stands over him, gesturing down at his book. A smile creeps up his lips before he can stop it. He’s lucky he’s wearing a mask.

“Hm, this? It’s only the finest literature of our time.” Kakashi looks back to his book, finding his place again.

“But doesn’t Jiraiya-sama write them?” Tenzō asks, incredulous.

“Yes, as I said, fine literature.”

Tenzō snorts, sitting himself down next to Kakashi who sighs and shut his book. He wouldn’t usually be this distracted by a conversation while reading. Hell, he’s even fought Gai in one of his ridiculous competitions while still reading. But Kakashi’s attempts to tune Tenzō out seem to have no effect. And Kakashi is beginning to suspect it’s damn near impossible for him not to be hyper aware of the man.

Tenzō shifts slightly closer to him, and it’s barely noticeable, but Kakashi sees it. Feels it. The tension is back, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He can feel the buzzing in his veins again, but warmth is also spreading through him. This is definitely not in Kakashi’s social repertoire.

“You have a knack for making yourself at home, don’t you, Tenzō?”

He snorts at the joke, but then something darkens in his eyes and he becomes more serious. “Well, I guess so. Home is really wherever I go. I don’t know how much you know about me--if you read my file--but I’m basically a test tube shinobi Orochimaru created for kicks. I don’t have a family or anything to go home to. I make home where I am.”

As if to demonstrate, Tenzō claps his hands together in a seal, and suddenly wood is sprouting from the ground. Before Kakashi can even react, a wood cabin finishes forming itself before his very eyes. Well, eye. Kakashi wishes he had the Sharingan activated so he could see the jutsu better in action.

“Home,” Tenzō declares, his eyes glinting, and Kakashi just knows he’s smiling triumphantly behind the mask.

“I take it you didn’t know about my Mokuton before now, judging by your reaction,” he laughs.

“Hm,” is all Kakashi says, but he feels warmth spread throughout his body again.

“This sure beats lying on the ground,” Genma remarks, suddenly standing next to them, Raidō in tow. “We should have recruited you ages ago.”

Kakashi can’t sleep. Not that he ever does, at least not for long. When he does sleep, images of his former team swim before his eyes, taunting him, torturing him. He relives the worst moments of his life over and over at night. Sometimes, he wishes he could just fade into the darkness and disappear. But tonight, Kakashi can’t get to sleep.

He rolls over and glances at Tenzō, curled up on his side a few feet away. The moonlight filters through the open window of the cabin, illuminating his face. He must not be used to wearing a mask to bed, because it lies discarded next to his head.

Kakashi can’t help but stare at his relaxed face, almost iridescent in the cool light of the moon, at the way his chest gently rises and falls with every breath.

Beautiful.

Where did that come from? He knows deep down it’s absolutely true. It’s a fact. But why is it affecting him like this? So what if he is beautiful? Why should that alone make the breath catch in Kakashi’s throat? Why should that make the tight feeling in his chest come back?

Everything about Tenzō has Kakashi breaking his own rules, reevaluating himself.

But who is Tenzō? Kakashi thinks. He’s the only person Kakashi knows who’s made him really laugh in years. He’s the only person who says his opinion of Kakashi right to his face. No one does that. He’s the only person who makes Kakashi feel this warm... whatever this is. And the buzzing every time Tenzō is anywhere near him. It’s…

He doesn’t know. But the weight presses harder on his chest when he thinks about it.

Kakashi has been closing himself off for so long, he doesn’t know what to do with all these new feelings. It’s like his skin is crawling.

He rolls back over, facing the door, hoping oblivion will rush over him and drag him under and into a thoughtless sleep.

When the first shreds of light touch the sky, Kakashi lets himself get up. He quietly rolls up his sleeping mat and perches himself in the doorway, looking out into the trees. He sits like this as the sun rises higher in the sky, bathing the forest in a pink glow.

After a few minutes, Kakashi becomes aware of someone behind him, and the strange feeling is back. It’s Tenzō. He silently lowers himself down to sit next to Kakashi in the doorway, letting his feet dangle over the edge of the cabin.

They sit like this in amicable silence until Tenzō finally speaks. “You didn’t really sleep, did you?”

“I normally don’t,” Kakashi confirms. He chances a glance to his left, his eye meeting Tenzō’s. The dark irises eyes are filled with an emotion Kakashi can’t quite place. But his chest feels tight again. “But especially not during missions.”

“I’m sorry,” Tenzō says.

Kakashi frowns, not sure what he means. “About what?”

“Your loss.”

Kakashi is silent, but his heartbeat quickens. His throat is suddenly too dry.

“You, um, you were talking in your sleep. When you did sleep, at least. And you kept repeating a few names.”

Kakashi doesn’t respond. No one has ever talked to him about this, at least not this directly before. But it doesn’t feel like a confrontation, doesn’t feel like prying either. It catches him completely off guard.

“I- I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Kakashi looks back out at the forest, but his eye isn’t focused on anything in particular. He starts when he feels a hand tentatively placed on his shoulder, but he relaxes when he realizes what it is.

Comfort.

No one has tried to comfort him in a long time.

The aching in his chest lessens, and Kakashi breathes for a long moment, letting the warmth of Tenzō’s hand seep into him before he looks back to his left, meeting those indescribable eyes. “Thanks.”

It’s all he can manage, but Tenzō seems to understand. He lets his hand fall, but he doesn’t get up from where he’s sitting next to Kakashi.

They sit like that, close but not quite touching, as they watch the sun climb higher in the sky, until Kakashi finally forces himself to break the silence. “We should wake the others and get going.”

They run all day with very few breaks, and Kakashi is starting to feel it. His legs are burning, but it’s not a bad feeling.

He looks over at his teammates running around him. Raidō is in front of him, Genma behind, and Tenzō at his side. They never addressed it, but apparently this is their new formation. It just happens naturally when they start off after their breaks. Kakashi can feel the force like electricity between Tenzō and himself again, like they’re charged and drawn to each other.

“According to our intel, the rogue shinobi base should be two clicks ahead at our eleven o’clock,” Raidō announces, and they all halt.

“We should rest now while the sun it still up, and then infiltrate when it’s dark,” Kakashi says as he lowers himself onto the branch he and Tenzō had landed on. Genma jumps over to sit with Raidō, and Tenzō easily lowers himself to sit at Kakashi’s side.

Kakashi pulls out his Icha-Icha, not with the intent to read it, but to give his eyes somewhere to look that’s not Tenzō. He doesn’t trust himself not to stare.

His plans are foiled almost instantly, when he feels an uncomfortable prickling at the back of his neck. It’s the ‘someone is watching me’ feeling. He struggles with himself not to glance over to Tenzō, who he knows is studying him.

Normally, people staring doesn’t particularly bother Kakashi. After all, he’s infamous in Konoha and most of the other ninja villages as well. He’s used to eyes following him, scrutinizing him, making assumptions about him. Perhaps the gazes started more in sympathy, first with his father, then Obito, then Rin and everyone else, but people learned not to talk about it, only stare when they thought he wasn’t looking.

So, Kakashi had become adept at ignoring the feeling of eyes trailing him. Until now. The prickling feeling spreads from his neck down his back and arms, and he finally gives in, turning to look at Tenzō.

“Yes?” Kakashi asks.

In response, Tenzō riffles through his pack, pulling out a couple granola bars. He looks back to Kakashi and offers him one. “You should eat something. You didn’t on our last break.”

Kakashi simply stares at him, grey eye focused on the almond ones across from him. He hasn’t had someone try to take care of him since Minato and Kushina. It takes him entirely by surprise. He would laugh, except the brown eyes piercing into his are dead serious. And there’s that emotion again, the one Kakashi can’t quite place. Tenzō’s eyes are full of it.

“I took a soldier pill this morning. I don’t really need anything right now.” Kakashi tries to keep his voice even, but it’s difficult when Tenzō keeps surprising him like this.

“Pills don’t solve everything, Kakashi-senpai.” It’s blunt, but the care in his words fills Kakashi with that same buzzing feeling and warmth again.

Sweet, Kakashi thinks. Sincere.

Then, Rin.

The tight feeling is back, and it’s coupled with the twisting, cutting one.

Kakashi needs to get himself under control. Only, he can’t seem to be able to.

When Kakashi looks down at his hands, he’s holding a granola bar. When did that happen? He frowns and looks at Tenzō. One look in those eyes and Kakashi forgets the stabbing feeling, if only for a moment.

“Just think about it,” Tenzō says, gently patting Kakashi’s hand, which is now tightly gripping the bar, his knuckles going white.

Tenzō gets up to fill his canteen, grabbing Kakashi’s at the same time.

“Thanks,” Kakashi murmurs. It’s barely a breath, but he somehow he knows Tenzō hears it.

When Tenzō gets back, Raidō, Genma, and Kakashi are packed up and talking quietly. Tenzō joins them and they start off again, falling into the formation that has become normal to them.

They’re only running for a few minutes before they reach the location where the rogue shinobi are supposedly located. It’s a cave, a small opening in the side of a mountain, inconspicuous, the perfect place to hide. Genma and Raidō stop on one side, Tenzō and Kakashi on the other. Kakashi readies his Sharingan and signals to his team members, then they creep in.

The cave looks dark at first, but there’s a faint glow far ahead, flickering like fire. Kakashi can sense chakra down where the light is coming from. Maybe around twenty people.

Kakashi signals this information to his team, and they all head in that direction, silent as the shadows they pass through.

When they’re close enough that they can hear distinct voices, they stop. Kakashi edges around the twisting cave walls, catching a glimpse of what lies around the bend. He signals for Raidō and Genma to take the left and for himself and Tenzō to take the right.

Then they lunge in.

The four ANBU don’t give the rogue nin a chance to react before they draw their swords and effectively surround them. Kakashi slices in an arc with his tanto, taking two men down with one movement. He glances over to where Tenzō is taking on two missing nin.

Wood bursts out of the cave walls and ground in sharp points, aiming for the enemy. He corners one rogue shinobi with the Mokuton. He viciously hacks at it with a katana, and wood splinters fly. It’s all for naught, because in the next moment, he’s impaled on a sharp, square branch. Blood trickles down the jagged wood, pooling on the cave floor.

Kakashi has to pry his eyes away. A silver glint catches his attention, Sharingan following the path of a kunai headed straight for him. He dodges it at the last second, two of his own kunai headed in the direction of the thrower.

He turns to face his next opponent even before he hears the sickening thud of the kunai hitting its target.

Another rogue nin comes at him with full force, his voice yelling incoherent curses that reverberate off the stone walls at an eerie pitch. He’s silenced immediately as a senbon sinks into his throat. It takes a genius to aim like that. Genma.

Kakashi jumps over the now crumpled form, eyes set on his next opponent.

Raidō slashes his katana diagonally, taking down another ninja in one sweeping motion. Kakashi lunges at the figure aiming their shuriken at his back. He cuts him down in one blow. Raidō turns to look at Kakashi, standing over the missing nin. “Thanks.”

Kakashi merely nods and continues on, gripping his tanto tightly. He tries not to focus on the overwhelming smell of blood, the darkness, the feeling of being trapped underground, tasting stale air. It feels like one of his nightmares.

He’s dragged back to the present when his Sharingan trains on another rogue shinobi. He slices through the air with his tanto, pushing further into the cave with every swing.

Kakashi doesn’t notice Tenzō following behind him until their shoulders blades clumsily knock together as Kakashi backs up. “I can sense more around the corner,” Kakashi informs him.

They turn the corner together, perfectly synchronized. It’s as though they’ve been fighting side by side for years. Kakashi can feel Tenzō’s movements like electricity. He doesn’t need to look to know what he’s doing. The firelight gleams off his tanto as it curves around, flashing a sinister red as another rogue ninja falls to the ground.

Tenzō battles one assassin with their katana poised to strike, but he quickly falls victim to the Mokuton. “Not too many left,” Tenzō says, his voice a bit breathless from the fight.

“Let’s finish this now.” They lock eyes. Tenzō’s gaze flickers over Kakashi’s shoulder. Before he knows what’s happening, he sees Tenzō clap his hands together into the Mokuton jutsu, wood shooting out of the cave’s ceiling and finishing off their final opponent.

Kakashi feels the electrical buzz again. His chest tightens and his lungs constrict.

But something is very wrong.

It starts with a low rumbling, then the earth starts to shake. Bits of the cave’s ceiling start to crumble where the Mokuton crashed into the stone, and Kakashi’s eyes go wide.

This can’t be happening. This cannot be happening.

He’s frozen. Fixed in place and unable to move a muscle. This is a nightmare. This is what he was dreaming about the night before.

This is hell.

“Kakashi!” Tenzō screams at him, but he still can’t move. It’s all too familiar.

He feels something hit his chest, and he staggers back. It takes Kakashi a moment to realize that Tenzō had lunged into him to move him out of the path of a boulder crashing to the ground right where he had been standing a just a moment before.

“We have to get out of here!” Tenzō doesn’t wait for Kakashi to react. He grabs Kakashi by the arm and pulls him forward with all of his strength.

Kakashi doesn’t even see the cave crumbling. His eyes are vacant. This is the end.

But at the sound of a scream erupting from Tenzō’s throat, ear shattering and primal, something in Kakashi snaps, shatters, crumbles like the ceiling of the cave. Tenzō lays crumpled on the rough cave floor, a rock near his head and a steady stream of blood flowing from his skull.

Suddenly, he’s back in the cave with Obito. He sinks to his knees, seeing the boy half crushed by the rocks.

But this isn’t Obito.

It’s Tenzō.

No, Kakashi thinks. Not him too.

Not him!

He surges forwards, snatching Tenzō up in his arms, and runs out of the cave at full speed, not daring to look back.

When he makes it out, Kakashi sees Raidō and Genma brushing themselves off, shaken but not injured. He struggles to carry Tenzō over to them, his knees shaking so hard he doesn’t know how he’s standing at all, let alone carrying another man in his arms. They look up and see Kakashi struggling, running forwards to take Tenzō from him.

But Kakashi won’t let go.

They try to lift Tenzō up, but Kakashi’s iron grip digs into Tenzō’s arm and the side of his leg refusing to give. His knees finally fail him, and he falls onto them ignoring the pain shooting through his kneecaps. Kakashi lays Tenzō down on the ground, but refuses to let go for even one second. He violently shrugs off the hand Raidō had placed on his shoulder, leaning his head down onto Tenzō’s chest, shaking uncontrollably.

Kakashi grips the fabric of Tenzō’s shirt with grimy fingernails, coated in blood and dirt. He can’t breathe. The shaking gets worse. All he can do his hold onto Tenzō, begging him not to let go.

Genma searches through his pouch for his medical supplies, getting to work on the gash running along the back of Tenzō’s head. Raidō, having given up on prying Kakashi off of Tenzō, unrolls his sleeping mat and places it over Tenzō like a blanket.

“No, no no. Not him. Not him.” Kakashi begs over and over, his voice hoarse.

Eventually, Raidō and Genma finish their work, satisfied that Tenzō won’t bleed out any time soon.

“He’s going to be okay, Kakashi. He just needs to rest.” Raidō slowly crouches down next to him, not making any sudden movements. “Kakashi, he’s going to be okay.”

Kakashi feels faint. He sees spots in his vision. His body is almost entirely limp, curved over Tenzō’s unconscious form protectively. Raidō’s words allow him to slip away into a brief and welcome oblivion.

The last words on his lips, not him.

When Kakashi wakes, his groggy memories work their way to the front of his mind with impossible speed, crashing around in his suddenly regained consciousness. He sits bolt upright, his head swimming, and he tries to open his eye. The sharp pain behind his eyes doesn’t stop him from trying again.

Finally he manages to focus on his surroundings. Tenzō lies next to him in a small clearing somewhere in the forest. His chestnut brown hair is matted with blood and dirt, and his face is ghostly pale. But he’s breathing.

He’s breathing.

Kakashi watches the steady rise and fall of his chest, tears burning at the backs of his eyes. He reaches out and brushes the sticky bangs from Tenzō’s face slowly, letting his fingertips brush the pale skin underneath.

Kakashi’s breath catches when he sees Tenzō’s eyelids flutter. His brow furrows, but his eyes remain closed, and Kakashi continues to gently caress his face with his fingertips. He smooths out the creases, willing Tenzō to relax with every touch.

“Oh, you’re awake. Good. Here.” Genma shoves something into Kakashi’s unoccupied hand. Water. He takes a sip, savouring the sensation as it works its way down his parched and raged throat. When the canteen is empty, Kakashi places it down, looking up at Genma who stands and watches Kakashi with an unreadable expression.

“Raidō went back to the cave to make sure there were no survivors, not that anyone could have survived that cave-in. He should be back soon.”

Kakashi nods, then focus his attention back on Tenzō.

How could Kakashi have been so stupid, so incredibly stupid and pathetic? How could he have stood there, wallowing in self-loathing and misery, waiting for the rocks to crush him? How could he have not heard Tenzō sooner? It’s all his fault. All of it. Tenzō looks like this, like a ghost, because of him.

“It’s not your fault,” Genma says as though he can read Kakashi’s thoughts. But it is. Kakashi knows it and Genma knows it.

He simply continues to trace lines across Tenzō’s white skin, waiting for him to wake.

When he finally does wake, the sun has set and Raidō has returned and reported no one surviving the cave-in. Kakashi holds his breath as Tenzō’s eyelids flutter again, and this time, he opens his eyes. Kakashi’s hand stills on Tenzō’s cheek, and brown eyes lock onto grey.

“K-Kakashi-” Tenzō coughs. Kakashi grabs a refilled canteen and brings it to Tenzō’s chapped lips, helping him to sit up slightly as he drinks. When he’s finished, Kakashi helps him to lay back down. He reaches for Tenzō’s hand, gripping it tightly. He doesn’t know how to start, but suddenly the words are flowing out.

“I’m sorry, Tenzō. I- I’m so sorry. When the cave started coming down, I don’t know. I couldn’t move. It was just like- when he-” His voice dies in his throat. He’s never be able to talk about it.

Tenzō’s eyes never leave Kakashi’s, but he’s silent while Kakashi’s words sink in.

“Obito?” Tenzō asks, his voice barely above a whisper. Kakashi tenses, but nods. “He was one of the names you kept repeating in your sleep.”

“You remind me of him a little. Rin too.” Kakashi looks down at their intertwined hands, and he feels Tenzō tighten his grip faintly. He can’t believe he’s talking about this. “You have his spirit, his Will of Fire. It’s one of the first things I noticed about you. And you have Rin’s spirit in you too. Her loyalty.”

Kakashi finally looks back into Tenzō’s eyes, and there’s that look again. The one that’s overflowing with an emotion that he can’t quite place.

It somehow reminds him of his former team. And it hurts. It hurts like nothing he’s felt since they died. Their loss is like a kunai lodged in his chest, perpetually pushing on his heart, a cut that won’t quite heal, but with Tenzō, the feeling is like a fresh cut. It burns.

But it’s also the most alive Kakashi has felt in years. In almost a decade.

Suddenly, he recognizes what he’s been feeling this whole time. It crashes over him like a wave that drags him out to sea, too far out for him to ever have a hope of returning to shore. He sits there, Tenzō’s hand in his, and lets it wash over him.

Love.