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After a long while, Magnus stood up from the couch.
“Alexander, I may need your strength. My magic is still weak and not responding to me as well as I would like it to. But there are some things I need to do tonight that I need magic for.”
“Of course.” Alec said softly, getting to his feet. “What do you want to do?”
“Burn everything. The idea of Valentine in my private space, my home…” Magnus shuddered. “Magical flames. They won’t damage the building in any way. They won’t damage us or anything I don’t want them to touch. But I need to feel at home and right now I… don’t.”
Alec nodded. “Where do you want to start?”
“Bedroom.”
Alec followed Magnus to his bedroom, once one of his favourite places in the loft, but now he felt like a stranger, hovering on the threshold until invited in.
Magnus snapped his fingers, and a new outfit appeared on the bed. Another snap, and the new clothes were on him, and the clothes he’d been wearing were discarded on the floor. He stumbled, the magic draining on him, and Alec moved instinctively to steady him, but Magnus flinched away. Alec stopped where he was.
“Sorry, I’m sorry…” Alec whispered.
“In a moment. In a moment I’ll ask for your strength.”
Alec retreated back to the doorway. Magnus moved through the room, clearly looking for something. He found a pile of clothes on the other side of the bed - possibly clothes that Valentine had discarded when he’d been there the previous night. Magnus rustled through them, his back to Alec, eventually finding what he was looking for. He straightened up and turned back to face Alec.
It was the omamori charm Alec had given him. Magnus ran his fingers along the edges of it, a wistful half-smile on his face, and then he put it down carefully on the bed. Magnus looked up at Alec like his heart was breaking and tears escaped the corners of his eyes. One rolled down his cheek and it took all Alec had to not run over to him immediately and wipe the tear away.
“I’m sorry.” Magnus whispered. “But now when I look at this all I can think of is how the mention of it didn’t help you believe me.”
Tears flooded Alec’s eyes too, but he fought them back. Magnus didn’t need that from him right now. “I understand.” He said quietly.
“This was the first gift anyone had given me in a very long time.” Magnus said, trying to keep his voice steady as he looked across the space between them and the sorrow in his heart that stopped him from crossing that space. “When you gave me this… I was on top of the world. Just a small thing, but it meant everything to me. Because it was from you, and your way of having me under your protection, even when you weren’t there with me. Then when I was away from it… in Valentine’s body… and you came… I didn’t ever think that what I needed protecting from was you.” His voice broke.
Alec couldn’t fight the tears anymore, and they streamed down his face. But he wouldn’t - couldn’t - close his eyes, he kept them firmly on Magnus, even as he felt his heart breaking for the hundredth time that night. Magnus wore a matching expression, and small sobs escaped his lips.
Magnus came up to stand next to him, holding up his hand like he had that first time Alec had lent him his strength, even as his shoulders still shook from the sobs. Alec took his hand hesitantly but firmly, and felt his strength pouring into Magnus, as the omamori caught fire.
The fire slowly spread, taking in the entire room, until Magnus and Alec were left standing in the doorway, hands still clenched and tears still streaking their faces, looking out over the black ash that was now floating from the ceiling.
As the dust settled, Magnus pulled his hand out of Alec’s and rested against the doorframe, letting out a shuddering breath and willing his mind to be still.