Chapter Text
The taxi is warm, almost unbearably so after the chill spring air outside, and the seat’s uncomfortable. I wish I could blame John's tension on one of those factors, but he has been that way ever since my... resurrection. My year of absence and my method of... disappearance have left our relationship... strained.
He shifts nervously for the fifth time.
“Sherlock, listen...”
Knowing what will come, I decide to make the whole thing briefer and easier. Easier on John, at least. “Let me spare you the agony of finding the right words. You have a date with Mary tonight and therefore wish to forgo our usual celebratory dinner after a closed case, but you are unsure how to broach the subject. You are unduly worried about hurting my feelings.”
“Yeah. That about sums it up.” He sounds relieved. It takes all of my considerable self-control to not snap or flinch. Instead I tap the partition, signaling the driver to stop.
“Sherlock you don't-”
“Baker Street is only three streets away, I can walk from here.” John appears about to protest. “Please, I insist. No reason for you to arrive at Mary's freezing.” And I would rather not see the two of you together.
He grabs my coat sleeve and I can feel his warm, strong fingers through the cloth.
“Sherlock. I want you to know...” His voice trails off.
“I do.” I know that I hurt you. I know that I betrayed your trust. I know that Mary makes you happy, that she makes you smile the way you once smiled at me. The way I wish you still smiled at me. I never knew how much I wanted your smiles until I was without, but they are no longer mine. For I also know this, it is time for me to bow out. So I put on my best smile as I say, “Good night John.”
He holds on to my sleeve for a moment longer, then he lets go and settles back in his seat. I step back and close the door and the cab slowly drives away. I remain where I am until it turns a corner before I turn and walk towards the empty rooms on Baker Street.