Chapter Text
Friday
[3:32] Noctis: LMAO WE HAVE A PROBLEM
[3:32] Noctis: [image]
[3:35] Kenma: Akaashi is on his way.
[3:37] ignore: heeeey
[3:37] ignore: i know ur probs asleep rn
[3:37] ignore: which fair i get it
[3:38] ignore: but i need a tiny favor
[3:38] ignore: and i also just want to remind u that i literally risked my LIFE for u and killed that massive spider that was in ur shower last week which was so kind and brave of me to do for u
[3:38] ignore: just saying of course
[3:38] ignore: anyways im at the hospital and i dont have any shoes so i need u to come pick me up xxxxxxxxx
[3:43] ignore: iwa-chan
[3:44] ignore: wake up holy shit
[3:50] ignore: asdfghjshd HELLO
[3:52] ignore: turn! on! ur ringer!!
[3:56] ignore: iwa-chan i am growing old and wrinkled waiting for my prince charming how could u do this to me ><
[4:02] ignore: nevermind!! we figured it out! get ur beauty sleep u absolute troglodyte ꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡
[6:35] Iwaizumi: What the fuck
[6:35] Iwaizumi: Phone me
[6:41] Iwaizumi: Kuroo what the hell happened last night
[6:41] Iwaizumi: Oikawa isnt answering me
[6:52] Iwaizumi: And I guess you arent either
[6:52] Iwaizumi: Typical
[6:53] Iwaizumi: Have any of you heard from Crappykawa
[6:54] Thing 1: AGSGSHSBSJNSM
[6:54] Thing 1: ITS NOT EBEN 7 why would yuo do this to me
[6:54] Thing 1: im slepp goodbye
[6:56] Thing 2: he sent me a snapchat of kuroo that said "when bae fux 2 hard" with half a dozen kissing emojis at like
[6:56] Thing 2: 3am nothing since
[6:56] Thing 2: kuroo looked like he got hit by a fucking bus though so i'm guessing theyre dealing with that lmaoooo
[7:02] Thing 1: why ddnt i get the snap asdfgshhsh what the FUCK
[7:03] Thing 2: bruh i thought you said you're going to sleep
[7:03] Thing 1: im dying squirtle
[7:05] Schnuckel: It's past midnight on my end.
[7:05] Schnuckel: I've got class tomorrow, you guys are getting muted.
[7:05] Schnuckel: (And I got the snap too.)
[7:06] Thing 1: :(((((
[8:13] ignore: iwa-chaaan u couldn't have just let me sleep another hour??
[8:13] Iwaizumi: This is all on you
[8:13] Iwaizumi: Answer your phone next time and there wont be a problem
[8:14] ignore: u woke up half the building banging on the door
[8:14] ignore: it was like an earthquake
[8:14] ignore: the neighbours are going to band together to evict me for endangering the structural integrity of the building
[8:15] ignore: im going to be homeless and destitute and it will be all ur fault iwaizumi
[8:15] Iwaizumi: If youre done whining you should probably get moving
[8:15] Iwaizumi: Its Friday
[8:16] ignore: f u c k
rebranding @oikso
survived the witch even w a broken nose thats #commitment #grindneverstops
sick flow @kurohoho
@oikso have you seen this??? amazing https://youtu.be/5OQ0MOBqdGQ
rebranding @oikso
@kurohoho can u pls take this seriously
[11:26] Oikawa: she made me meet w her during office hours just to tell me "tardiness is indicative of a lack of respect oikawa"
[11:26] Oikawa: like yes because i hate u
[11:26] Oikawa: who does she think she IS
[11:37] Oikawa: why does no one answer their texts anymore
[11:58] side hoe: I told you to just drop the class
[11:59] Oikawa: and i told u that im not a fucking quitter
[11:59] Oikawa: why tf did it take u half an hour to answer my text
[11:59] Oikawa: im in a time of need
[12:00] side hoe: Im at kenmas still until further notice
[12:00] side hoe: akaashi got fucking baked and was making some kind of prosperity sigil thing for a girl in his statistics class
[12:00] side hoe: he said I couldnt text you back because your vibes are
[12:00] side hoe: and I quote
[12:01] side hoe: "rancid"
[12:01] side hoe: so he made bo take away my phone
[12:02] Oikawa: omf
[12:02] Oikawa: im seriously blocking all 3 of u
[12:02] Oikawa: and kenma too for allowing this to happen under his roof
[12:02] Oikawa: i hate this fucking family
[12:03] Oikawa: also did i have my shoes in the cab
[12:03] Oikawa: theyre still missing and im freaking out
[13:06] Oikawa: so kuroo is officially out of commission for 2 months this is a disaster
[13:06] Oikawa: we have a tournament literally next week
[13:06] blacklisted: AAAAAAAA BABE i heardu DIED
[13:06] blacklisted: not that i wuold know bcuz apparently u snapchat evrryone but me
[13:06] blacklisted: ???
[13:07] sunny d: true
[13:07] Oikawa: ur snapchat name is still daddy swag
[13:07] Oikawa: u arent getting anything until that changes
[13:08] padawan: Actually, I kind of agree with Oikawa.
[13:08] padawan: It's bad.
[13:09] blacklisted: yahabs why r u DOING this to me 2day
[13:09] blacklisted: go back to bed
[13:10] padawan: It's just past 6 here. I'm getting ready for class.
[13:10] Oikawa: wow yahaba thats the most disgusting thing uve ever said congrats
[13:11] Oikawa: morning people are the worst kind of scum
[13:12] padawan: Maybe if you were more of a morning person Iwaizumi wouldn't have to come across the city to wake you up before noon.
[13:12] Oikawa: HOW DO U EVEN KNOW ABT THAT U ARENT EVEN IN THE SAME COUNTRY
[13:12] padawan: Which makes it all the more irritating when Kyoutani is sending me angry messages about how loud and annoying you two are being when it's 2am on my end. :/
[13:12] sunny d: lmao holy shit
[13:12] sunny d: oikawa you're an actual child do you need your mom to come tuck you in at night and wake you up in the mornings
You removed sunny d from the conversation
padawan added sunny d
[13:13] Oikawa: anyways i did have news if u guys would stop distracting me
[13:14] blacklisted: catch u puttuing this on us like u arent lookking for any reason to talk for fcjsking ever
[13:14] Oikawa: holy shit can u guys shut up for more than 5 seconds this is impossible
[13:15] Oikawa: what im trying to say is kuroo broke his leg
[13:15] padawan: Oh my god? Is he okay?
[13:15] Oikawa: i tried out that new moisturizer last night and he was so stunned by my beauty that he fell into our pantry
[13:15] Oikawa: tragic but inevitable
[13:16] (ꐦ ಠ皿ಠ ): Thats not the explanation you gave me this morning
[13:16] Oikawa: iwa-chan ur destroying my narrative
[13:17] (ꐦ ಠ皿ಠ ): They were making out in the kitchen and tripped over Beezbo into the pantry
[3:17] (ꐦ ಠ皿ಠ ): Knocked a shelf down onto themselves
[13:17] (ꐦ ಠ皿ಠ ): Crappykawa broke his nose and they both have black eyes
[13:17] Oikawa: why do u hate me???
[13:18] old yeller: Your cat.
[13:18] old yeller: Broke.
[13:18] old yeller: Our blocker.
[13:18] sunny d: wow kyoutani is actually responding
[13:19] sunny d: nice fuck up oikawa
[13:19] sunny d: WAIT i haven't gotten any selfies today because your face is all messed up
[13:19] sunny d: maybe i'll actually be able to see someone else on my insta feed for once
[13:19] sunny d: amazing
[13:20] blacklisted: WE ALL KNWO WHY I HAVENT GOTTEN ANY SELFIES TODAYT >:(
[13:20] sweaty feet: Doesn't kuroo have ... a lot? Of boyfriends
[13:20] sweaty feet: Why were you guys making out
[13:21] Oikawa: i dont have to explain myself
[13:21] sunny d: his boyfriends said it was ok if he made out with oikawa when he was sad and they weren’t there
[13:21] sunny d: it’s all very laissez faire
[13:22] blacklisted: and hes sad ALOT when his boyfs are gone
[13:22] Oikawa: i dont know why i tell u guys anything
[13:22] Oikawa: wtf did u just send me mattsun
[13:22] sunny d: the facebook thing?
[13:22] sunny d: it’s an invite to the party hanamaki and i are having this weekend
[13:23] Oikawa: it says its a funeral
[13:23] blacklisted: ACTUALLY it says its a FUNeral fyi
[13:23] blacklisted: bcuz u killed kuroo fukcin dead
[13:24] blacklisted: [ image ]
[13:24] Oikawa: what is wrong with u
[13:24] sunny d: of course he’s invited too
[13:24] blacklisted: GUEST OF HONOUR
[13:24] blacklisted: cant party w/o the deceased
[13:25] Oikawa: i come here distraught and u guys plan a party???
[13:25] sunny d: yeah and it’s tomorrow so you might want to invest in some concealer so you look a little less like you’re the corpse
[13:25] sunny d: see you there <3
[13:26] Oikawa: why do i fucking bother
