Archive of Our Own ^beta

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When they start, it’s because of Astra’s son.

Alex doesn’t know how, doesn’t know when, but she ends up with a six foot tall Kryptonian from another dimension on her couch within days of his arrival. He’s kind and gentle and respectful, but she’s frustrated by him, irritated by the way he follows her around like a lost puppy.

Mostly, she’s irritated by how much she can’t hate him, how much he reminds her of Kara when she first came to earth. No matter how much she tries, she can’t say no to him, so he ends up on her couch, eating her food and using her shower.

She sighs as she gets home and looks at him, sleeping. He’s cute, if that’s someone’s thing, but he’s no Kara. He’s not her golden superhero, who’s either stuffing her face or flying while stuffing her face.

Alex cringes a little at that image as she moves into her bedroom to change. She really doesn’t need to imagine Kara’s eating habits before dinner. Or after. Or during. She decides she doesn’t need to imagine them at all.

Kara’s scent surrounds her and she has to shake her head as she looks down. Trust Kara to mix her laundry in Alex’s again. She smiles, pulling the neckline up and inhaling. After the day she’s had, she needs something comforting, needs something that reminds her of home more than anything else.

She drops it as she walks out but she keeps that faint smile that anything that reminds her of Kara brings. She can’t really drop it.

“Are you cooking tonight, Mir, or me?”

She looks over at the couch, where he’s staring at her with a furrowed brow.

“What?”

“I didn’t know you and Kara had bonded. Was this how she’d been integrated into your House?”

Alex flushes. “Kara and I aren’t bonded.”

“You aren’t? You wear her coat of arms and I’ve seen her in yours.”

“That’s not…things are different here on earth. This is a commercialized symbol now?”

Mir frowns. “That’s not…the Noble House of El shouldn’t be used for that.”

Alex sighs. “Clark…Kal El had no idea when he first put it on. Now it’s a symbol of hope and a way for Kara to identify with him.”

“She doesn’t need to. She’s Kara Zor El, great in her own right.”

Alex smiles. “We know that but not many do.”

He nods. “She still wears your arms, though, and J’onn Jonnz has assured me that that is a symbol not claimed by many.”

She shakes her head. She’s forgotten how curious had been when she’d first come to live with the Danvers. Mir is no different, constantly asking questions and trying to understand things. She wonders if Kara would be okay with taking him out, explaining things to him in a way that he can better understand.

“That’s because she likes to steal my clothes.”

He tilts his head. “I’m told that in many cultures across the galaxy, this is a sign of romantic affection.”

“T-that’s…that’s not what this is.”

She turns away, determined to tell Kara to actually teach Mir about human conventions when she gets there. So absorbed is she in trying to figure out how to bring this up, she doesn’t see the mischief in his eyes when she walks away, or the way he sneaks a picture of her in the t-shirt.

If she did, she might have banned Winn from making friends with him when he first arrived.

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He looks at her, confused, and she melts under his gaze. Her cousin is so much like a puppy, even more than she is, and she can’t help but want to pat his head and tell him how good he is.

Kara reaches out, runs her fingers through his hair until he looks at her again, having been distracted by the skeletal structures around them. He’s no scientist but his wonder is still palpable, still something that makes her want to protect him from all the evils of the world that want to hurt him.

She pulls him close, pats his shoulder. “Stick close to me, okay? The museum is kind of big and it’s easy to get lost if you haven’t been here before.”

He looks at her. “We’re going to look at all of these?”

“If you want, we can check them out later. Right now,” she says as she tugs him along, “I want to show you something special. Do you remember the old ruins outside of Argo City that would baffle our historians?”

“Sort of? I didn’t know your Krypton had those.”

She grins at him. “I had a look at the sunstone you brought with you. There’s a lot we share, apparently, so don’t worry about not being able to relate to me.”

“What about Alex?”

She frowns as she walks. “What about her?”

He shrugs. “She’s able to relate to me easily. How does she manage that if she’s only human?”

Kara doesn’t answer him for a while, not sure how. She remembers the old days between them, all the resentment and the fear that had plagued her that first year, but she also remembers the way Alex would crawl into her bed after the cruel words, would tell her stories about the stars and all the things she had learnt from her father.

She wishes that she could tell him about this, wishes she could convey the way Alex and her had learnt to comfort each other in the dark. She wants to tell him about the ways in which they had been so similar and yet so different even they’d come from different planets but she can’t. She doesn’t know how.

She shakes her head, brushes her fingers against his as they walk. Her cousin deserves what Alex had given her, deserves everything she’d gotten when she’d gained a new family and more.

“Alex is…complicated. She’s kind and perfect and a little bit of everything that makes someone good but she’s also…hard and small and weak, sometimes.”

“Isn’t that bad?”

She shakes her head. “With Alex it means that this is the point where she needs protecting from her demons. She hasn’t had the best time since I’ve been here and sometimes all I want to do is wrap her up and make her feel the way I felt.”

“Loved?”

She pauses, smiles and nods. She supposes that he’s right. Alex makes her feel loved in the best of ways and it terrifies her sometimes, terrifies her beyond anything she could feel if she’d faced Darkseid himself.

She loves Alex more than anything, loves her more than anyone. Part of her doesn’t think that she’d be able to love anyone as much as she loves her, that she’d be able to give anyone her heart the way she’d give it to Alex so willingly if only she’d ask, and that’s it isn’t it?

If Alex asked for the world, Kara wouldn’t hesitate to give it to her, wouldn’t hesitate to let her see, let her know what she means to her. If Alex asked, she would give her everything she could, would pull the moon down for her and sacrifice everything that is inside of her to keep her safe.

It hits her, then, that this might be what love feels like, that this might be the thing she’d been looking for all along. She doesn’t know why, doesn’t know how or when, but she’d fallen in love with the woman who’d kept her safe, who’d made her feel at home since she was thirteen. She’d fallen in love with her best friend and it’s all she can do to stop herself from shouting it to the sky.

Kara looks around, a little lost at the realization. Alex would be the one she’d go to with this but she can’t do that, can’t let Alex see what she feels when they’d been so good, been fine with what they are to each other for so long. She can’t let her know what she wants from her after hiding it for so long.

“Kara? Are you okay?”

She shakes her head, smiles at Mir again. “Hey, yeah. I’m perfectly fine. Now what was I saying?”

“Something about the ruins outside of Argo City?”

“Oh, right. So these stones over here…”

When she gets home, Kara settles Mir on the couch before retreating to her room, searching through her clothes. At first, she’s lost because she thinks it’s not there, but then she sees the familiar silver on black, the D.E.O. arms shining bright on the back of the shirt.

She grins as she picks it up, presses her nose against the fabric. This one is still fresh from Alex laundry, Kara having stolen it from her when her t-shirt had fallen apart in the middle of a binge day. It still smells like her, the lingering scent of chemicals and gunpowder beneath the lavender detergent Alex uses tickling her nose, making her laugh as she remembers the way Alex had pouted at her when she’d stolen it from right under her nose.

It could be worse, she thinks. She could not be in love with Alex and what a shame that would be, wouldn’t it?

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Alex grunts as she takes the brunt of the blow aimed at her stomach, stepping back at the same time to minimize the force of it. Her partner, she notes, is getting better after their last mission, but he’s still not good enough to get the drop on her. With a smile, feral and predatory, she moves close, presses against him before flipping him over her shoulder and pinning him to the ground.

He holds up his hands as if in surrender and Alex backs off, only to find herself on her back with a sweaty, triumphant boy hovering over her. She shakes her head and pulls him over her, spinning to pin him again, pressing all of her body weight onto his chest to keep him down.

“You’re still not at your prime, kid.”

He whines, taking her offered hand as she gets off of him and stands. “I’m only two years younger than you.”

Alex grins at him. “Two years too young to keep up with me. Want to go again Sam?”

Sam shakes his head, backs away from her with raised arms. Alex has to laugh at how ridiculous he looks, shakes her head as she moves over to her gear and wipes her face with a towel. This was a harder session than usual and she can feel it in her muscles, can feel the tension in her shoulders as she wiggles them to try to work them out without ask for help.

There’s a hand on her back and then pressure being added slowly. She relaxes when she feels the familiarity of it, lets Kara massage her back for a minute before turning around with a smile.

“When did you get here?”

“Right around the time you hit Sammy’s shoulder and sent him stumbling into the wall. I just wanted to say hi.”

Alex frowns. “Busy day?”

“The busiest. Miss Grant is on a rampage after the last issue had a drop in sales so she’s trying to get all the department heads to figure out what went wrong. I’m kind of not looking forward to going back to that mess.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to tranq her? Sam could probably do it from miles away and not get caught.”

Sam nods as he comes up, wrapping Kara in a bear hug. “It’s true, little Danvers sis. I’m that good.”

Kara wriggles free of his grasp and flicks his nose. He scowls and then wiggles his eyebrows, making her laugh before bowing.

“Unfortunately, this performance must end, my lady. I have to get back to work, but maybe we can continue this over dinner? Dessert at my place?”

Alex slaps his head. “Go check and see if V needs help and stop flirting with Kara. You know the answer is no.”

Sam pouts but does as she asks, leaving the room as she turns back to Kara. With a smile, she reaches out and brushes Kara’s hair back. She thinks it’s too long, always too long, but cutting it would risk Kara’s identity, would put everyone around her at risk if the wrong people made the right assumptions about her, and Alex isn’t about to risk that for something that’s completely cosmetic.

She sighs, hugs her again before letting go.

“I haven’t seen you in a while.” She can feel the pout forming on her lips but Alex doesn’t care. This is Kara and Kara deserves her vulnerability. “Your baby cousin’s been keeping you all to himself lately, hasn’t he?”

Kara snorts, spins her around a bit before putting her down. “Are you jealous? Because you know you’re the only one who can get my ice cream, right? I mean, you take it anyway but still.  You’re the only one I don’t force to go to the store to replace it.”

Alex shakes her head. “And woe to any who dares to try to steal it or they’ll lose a hand, right? I love you, Kara, but I’m not sure J’onn would want the paperwork that comes with dismemberment, and I really don’t either.”

Kara pouts at her. “You won’t even do paperwork for me? I feel hurt.”

Alex chuckles, flicks her nose just as Kara had done to Samuel. Kara recoils, a frown on her face as she swats at Alex’s hands. Alex just grins, makes her way closer as Kara backs up, hands held in front of her. There’s a look of panic on her face that she enjoys, a widening of her eyes as she seems to realise what’s going to happen just as Alex lunges, takes her to the mat as she tickles her.

Kara laughs beneath her and Alex lets herself revel in the sound, lets herself feel the way Kara moves beneath her as she tries to get away. She loves her like this, loves the way Kara lets herself relax when it’s just the two of them and she stops pretending that she’s human, that she’s anything but the extraordinary being Alex knows she is.

Kara reaches up, caresses her cheek. Alex leans into the touch, lets her do what she wants as she stares down at her, eyes crinkling as she smiles. Kara looks so good like this, all happiness and nothing of the darkness that’s been around her for a while. She looks so good that Alex has to wonder what’s changed, what’s brought back that light she’s missed so much over the past few weeks.

She feels herself being flipped, finds Kara on top of her as she tries and fails to get out from under her. There’s a grin on her face, cocky confidence as she holds Alex down and it makes her want to prove her wrong, makes her want to throw her over and escape just to prove that she’s still awesome, still worthy of the way Kara always looks at her like she’s her own superhero. She wants to prove that her faith in her isn’t misplaced, that she’s right to trust her and trust in her abilities.

She smiles up at her, runs her fingers up her sides as she moves to find all of Kara’s ticklish areas. She might want to prove herself, but there’s nothing that says she has to do it now. There’s nothing that says that she has to ruin the moment with petty jealousies that don’t really exist when she can just enjoy being here with Kara, enjoy the way she grins down at her as they play together.

Alex digs her fingers into Kara’s ticklish spots, watches as Kara doubles over in laughter too uncontrollable to hold back. She’s always been like this, always laughing easily when she could and never really holding back. Here, it’s safe for her, safe in a way that very few places are, and Alex is happy to continue just being with her.

Kara leans down, lets her body weight press down on Alex in a cocoon of warmth and sunshine. Alex smiles, pulls her close as she breathes her in, presses her head against Kara’s in an effort to stay close, to never let her go.

She’s known how she feels for a while now, knows that this thing she has with Kara is something that can never really be, not when they’ve decided that they’re sisters, that they’re each other’s family in a way that no one else is. Like this, however, she feels like she can pretend that it’s different, that it’s something more than it really is and she’s okay with that, okay with the way Kara’s touch makes her heat up in a way that she can’t really express.

“You’ve been gaining weight, Kara,” she says, teasing her as she rubs her cheek. “We’re going to have to cut back on the potstickers. Maybe I can get more than two now.”

Kara pouts at her, leans down to blow a raspberry against Alex’s cheek. Alex tries to fend her off but Kara uses her powers, pins Alex’s arms over her head as she moves from her face to her neck. She tries to buck her off, to get away before she does something she regrets, but Kara won’t let her, won’t get off no matter how hard she tries.

“Kara…”

“Nope. This is your punishment. We do not challenge the right to potstickers in this house. Ever. You know that Alex.”

Alex rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Now get off, you big baby.”

Kara pouts even more at her but Alex shakes her head. She refuses to break, refuses to let Kara get the best of her when there’s food at stake. Instead, she kisses her cheek before Kara gets off of her, moves over to her gear as Kara follows. She rolls her eyes when she even follows her to the locker room, but she doesn’t comment, all too happy to actually have her around for a bit.

Switching out her training gear for Kara’s old House of El tee and her uniform, she turns to her and smiles.

“I’ll swing by with dinner for us and the boy tonight?”

“Maybe just us. He said he has plans with Samuel and Winn.”

Alex frowns at that, knows it can’t end in good things for her, but she dismisses the thought immediately. She’s finally going to get a free night with Kara and she intends to enjoy it to the fullest.