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She is not afraid.
When the Lord Seeker pulls her into a twisted world, bubbling and broken, she stands with face unwavering and begins to pull apart its illusion - Envy, a demon wearing someone else’s skin to get inside hers, to pick her apart and find how she works. To become her next. It scratches against her skull, nails digging divots into her will to force her from her own mind. She has faced demons before, their voices tickling at the edge of dreams for as long as she can remember. She does not fear to feel its pain or test its chains.
It asks to see, but it shows her things. The way the world can be if the Inquisition grows strong, powerful, fueled by this Elder One and overwhelmed by the Inquisition. Kingdoms will wilt while it rises and chokes out the sun. There will be no more flags to raise besides the all seeing eye, no place its influence will not touch. No mouth that does not know their name. Everyone will look upon their banner and bow low. Her banner. It shows her a world burning and she is the spark. It does not frighten her to see the carnage it promises, the decimation of nations, for this is all in her mind and nothing true.
With the help of this boy spirit she escapes and returns to her body in full, tears through the keep to reach Envy for the final confrontation. It hides, frightened of her now, but it cannot run forever. She finds it trapped into a corner and listens to it inside her head again as they battle - No one knows you better than I…What do you gain by becoming me? Everything…Do you know what the Inquisition can become?
No, she is not afraid. She is tempted.
In its last moments the demon senses it, reaches out with claw not to harm but ensnare once more with what remains of its strength. The place it takes her to this time is not marred in shadow and dripping with desolation. She stands at the head of a long, gilded hall, the space packed with people. They cheer her name, bend the knee before her like a wave over the ocean. There is a crown on her head, jewels and fabrics spun from silk and finer things than she’s ever known, and behind her a throne stretching as high as her reach across the world.
I know what you want. To be gravity, to be the center of it all so none shall turn away from you again. For a moment the scenery changes from something dreamed to a memory, to a dusty road and a father she watches disappear. I can make it so. With me, they will want you, want to be you. To touch a strand of your hair and live at your feet. They will love you and loathe that they are not you.
A hand wraps around her hip and pulls her back into the grand cathedral. Rylen stands by her side, his lips kissing her ear as he whispers praises and promises, things that make her blood begin to burn and her heart swell. There is a touch to her other side, long fingers grasping beneath her chin to turn her head. It is Solas she finds and there is half a second to wonder at his presence before his mouth is hot against hers, that cool control he always carries breaking into desire she tastes on her tongue. They both surround her, worship her with lips and fingers and words flowing until she feels blissfully full.
You can have them both, have them all. You will be all.
She opens her eyes to find Envy towering over her. Its hands are gentle upon the sides of her face, adoring like all the rest and she in return reaches up to run fingertips across hard and sightless skin. “And what of your Elder One?”
You could be stronger than he. Together, we could rule. My queen.
She pulls it close, feels its rancid breath across her mouth, holds her own breath against the possibilities it would offer with one kiss. “You are right. I am strong, but I do not need you.”
With the force of all her will, she pushes it backwards and falls back into reality, its dying screams echoing across the courtyard and in her mind. The long day ends with Envy as ash beneath her feet, the templars leash held in hand. The Breach still looms high in the sky, but she knows things have changed. For the world, for the Inquisition. For her.
“The way you handled that demon…I’ve seen trained templars cower at the sight of lesser ones,” Barris comments as they pick their way through all the chaos and back across the bridge where nobles and more of her people await. “You’re brave, Herald. Braver than most.”
Envy’s laughter echoes in her head again, disemboweled but there. He does not know you. It was not bravery, was it, my selfish child? You may have defeated me, but you will always belong to me.
As she leaves, fear finally creeps into her veins, makes her shake her limbs and look away from the others. She is not afraid that it is right - she is afraid that there might come a day when she does not care.