Chapter Text
Taichi was laying on his back, on the back side of the school, lost in thoughts while looking at the clouds above. It was rare for him to have a moment to himself, since he was always with the others at school, and with Hikari at home.
And, to be honest, he needed to be alone more than everything at that moment.
“So close...” He thought, raising his hand to the sky, remembering when both worlds almost touched at the chaotic end of their adventure. “Why can’t I go back?”
He knew the answer, and, even so, he couldn’t stop asking himself. Such little time had passed since they got back home, but Taichi already had the sensation he was in the wrong place. After everything they went through, it was being hard to go back to his normal life. School was tedious, the world seemed simple and lifeless, his days were lived without a purpose. He was simply existing.
Since they came back from the Digiworld, almost two months before, the group was almost never apart. There were countless stories to tell and remember, besides the fact that everyone there missed their companions, the Digimons, who were now so far away.
Taichi missed Agumon. Much more than he missed his family during all of the time he was gone, the strangest it could be to admit it. They had formed a strong bond, a true and deep friendship, and now, with his companion so far, he felt as if part of himself had disappeared.
Of course he didn’t say it to his friends, since he had to look strong and confident. Despite his young age, he knew he had been — in a silent and unanimous way — chosen as the leader of that group, and as a good leader, it was his duty to support the others. He couldn’t let them notice his sadness, so he always buried his feelings behind a wide smile and optimistic words.
But there, hidden from everyone’s eyes, he let himself be sincere with his feelings. Covering his eyes with his arm, Taichi let the tears run slowly. It was terrible to feel like a stranger in his own world, and miss things, he knew, he would never see again. He needed to let it out... He needed to do it while he was alone...
“Taichi?”
Taichi jumped when he heard Yamato’s voice so close. He had been so distracted that he didn’t even notice the sound of his friend approaching, and now he tried to dry his tears as far as he could.
“Ah, there you are,” continued Yamato. “Sora was looking for you, we searched the whole school, and...
He stopped talking. Taichi sat down, turning his face away, but it was already too late.
“Are you crying...?” Yamato sounded worried. “Is something wrong?”
“No, of course not! It’s fine! It’s great!” answered Taichi, cursing himself in silence for sounding so artificially happy. “And I’m not crying, I’m just... I’m sleepy. Yeah, that’s it. Nothing wrong.”
He forced a small laugh, but Yamato continued to look at him, serious.
“So, where is Sora?” Taichi tried to change the subject “We better not leave her waiting, or she’ll get...”
“You were thinking about them, weren’t you?
Yamato’s question made Taichi’s forced smile disappear. He didn’t need any other word to know what his friend was talking about. Taichi looked down.
“Yes.”
Yamato got closer, sitting beside him. Taichi looked at him, and realized that there was sadness on his eyes too.
“Listen, Taichi...” He said. “I miss Gabumon too. I understand how you’re feeling. You don’t need to pretend everything is fine, we all are going though the same thing.”
“I know... But I...”
He stopped talking, but Yamato encouraged him:
“What’s the matter?”
Now that Yamato had seem him in that situation, it was hard to hide his thoughts. He took a deep breath, feeling a little uncomfortable touching that subject.
“I know how much everyone misses the Digiworld, and our Digimons,” he explained. “That’s why I have to support everyone... Help them feel better again. That’s why… That’s why I don’t want them to see me like this.
Yamato looked at him for a while.
“Isn’t it hard to keep it all to yourself?”
Taichi shrugged.
“Someone has to do it,” he said. “So, why can’t it be me?”
They were s i lent for a while, until Yamato said:
“You don’t need to pretend when you’re with me.”
Taichi meant to answer, but before he could, Yamato interrupted.
“We are best friends, aren’t we?” He asked, already knowing the answer. “I don’t want you to hide what you’re feeling when we’re together. I trust you, so I want you to trust me too.
Taichi looked at him, and then, without warning, his vision became cloudy. He tried to stop the tears, but he couldn’t.
“Damn...” He cursed with a low voice, sinking his face into his arms.
Yamato looked at him, but Taichi wasn’t able to see the expression he had on his face.
“Don’t worry,” he said, “I won’t tell anyone.”
Taichi thanked him in silence for that. For some reason, having Yamato beside him was comforting, and after a few minutes, he already felt better than when he was alone.
They didn’t go look for Sora for a long while, just stayed there, in a comfortable silence. If that adventure in the Digiworld had done something for both of them, it had been to understand each other and, as consequence, make them closer as never.
And, even if they didn’t say it out loud, both were happy that, at least such thing hadn’t been taken away from them.
~*~
Since that day, Taichi had no peace.
It began little by little, but after two weeks, more or less, the thoughts got his whole mind, impeding him to concentrate on his classes, or doing anything without messing up like an idiot. He couldn’t get away from them — and he tried —, and it was turning him crazy.
It was Yamato.
Taichi always thought Sora was pretty, and even thought he could come to like her more than as a friend. Now, however, he realized he had been wrong all that time.
Yamato was completely different from Sora. He was a boy, of course, and nothing on his face or body reminded him of a girl. Even so, Taichi caught himself thinking about how much he was beautiful too. Even more than Sora, actually, to a point he began to question himself how he had never noticed it before.
And it didn’t stop there: when he was with Sora, he felt at ease, just like he felt beside his friends, or even with his sister. However, it had been a while that, whenever Yamato was around, he was unable to relax. He caught himself looking at his friend through the corner of his eye time after another, turning his gaze away every time Yamato noticed it. His heart jumped when they were close, or just by hearing his voice. Sometimes, when they talked to each other, Taichi messed up his own words, or simply forgot what he was trying to say, because his thoughts were always interrupted by the vivid images of how it would feel to touch his friend’s face, or — maybe — his lips.
More than once, he saw himself thinking about when Yamato, after having left the group, had come back to help him. He thought about how, having him there, so close to him, holding him in his arms and looking at him with a worried expression, despite all the pain he was feeling, had been one of the best moments of his life. He also thought about that day, when Yamato held his hand, a little before their Digimons could reach their maximum power. In that moment, Taichi wasn’t afraid of what could happen to him, because he knew, no matter what, Yamato would be beside him.
He used to think that he liked Yamato as a best friend. Taichi trusted him, enjoyed the times when they were together, had fun when they talked to each other. However, he soon realized that a bitter sensation grew in his chest every time he saw Yamato with Sora or any other girl, that he felt restless when he was close, and that he thought about him more than anyone else.
Maybe not even Agumon, who had always understood him so well, would be able to help him with that. It was even embarrassing to admit it to himself, but he knew it was real.
He was falling in love with his best friend.