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"I'm just saying it doesn't make sense."
21's chuckle crackled over TeamSpeak. "Man, did you see that warlock? Stunlocked a hundred to zero. What doesn't make sense?"
24 — and he did kind of think of himself as 24 now, and he knew that was weird, but when he was sitting on a broken-down swivel chair in his dad's crappy basement with his ex-girlfriend/stepmom's crappy laptop on top of a dusty cardboard box marked XMAS STUFF, thinking of himself as 24 was easier than thinking of himself as whoever he was supposed to 'really' be — yeah, anyway, 24 steered his troll priest up the ramp, glancing back to make sure the stealthed shadow of 21's orc rogue was actually coming with him this time.
"This map! What kind of objective is 'capture the flag'? I thought this was World of Warcraft, not like, World of Fourth Grade Gym Class." 24 winced at the brief echo of his own voice as 21 clicked in too soon, interrupting him.
"Okay, first off, this isn't Counter-Strike and nobody calls battlegrounds 'maps', and second— paladin!"
The dwarf was alone in the base and his gear sucked. 21 popped him in a couple of globals. Kind of like Brock Samson taking down a henchman.
"How much do I love Garrote?" 21 staticked, grabbing the flag and heading out the tunnel. "Anyway, I've told you this like a thousand times. We're taking over the forest so we can clear cut it for lumber. The flag is just a metaphor."
Hearing a faint sound from upstairs that could potentially have been a bedspring creak, 24 turned up his headset volume. "Then why didn't they just put a bunch of... I don't know, cords of wood in here, and we'd capture it and take it back to the base? And don't Sprint away from me this time, Speed Racer."
"Yeah, because 'capture the wood' sounds so much better. Hunter!"
As soon as the bouncing red arrow appeared above his head, 21 dashed across the field in a trail of blue particle effects, his panicked panting heavy in 24's ears.
"Hey, way to lean on that push-to-talk key," 24 grumbled, mounting up to chase after him yet again. "Try it a little louder, I don't think the Alliance can hear you mouth-breathing while you outrun your only healer."
"Oh my God, why are people who play priests always so bitchy? Is it—"
A click as 21 finally let go of the button, and then silence for a few seconds as 24 watched his marker move down the map. Okay, that was definitely a bedspring creak. 24 fumbled with the stack of Sharpie-labeled CD cases on top of his cardboard box/desk and shoved one into the laptop's drive. Not that he desperately wanted to listen to Air Supply, but anything was better than hearing whatever might be happening upstairs. A pink-haired gnome rogue had just opened on him, but there were priorities.
TeamSpeak clicked abruptly back to life in his ears with a distant whiny echo followed by 21's exasperated yell: "NO, MOM, I CAN'T PAUSE!"
Grimacing and turning the volume back down, 24 sighed as he tabbed back into the game and saw his priest's ghost appear in the graveyard. Then, a satisfying thunk.
Viceróy captured the Alliance flag!
"Dude, you should have seen that run," 21 laughed breathlessly in his ear. "I think that warlock AFK'd, he's probably uninstalling right now."
"Yeah, very impressive," 24 deadpanned, rebuffing and hopping back down onto the field to the strains of All Out of Love. "You're a real hero of the Horde."
Nobody could see it, and he didn't even really know why, but as he rode out to meet back up with 21 midfield, 24 was smiling.