Chapter Text
i. (2016-09-12 17:50)
The first time she thinks that her feelings for Yousef might surpass the purely platonic ones characteristic of a sister’s for her older brother’s friend wasn’t an earth shattering moment of realization. It wasn’t an epiphany like the ones that suddenly emerged at the climax of every romantic comedy she had indulged in the past, where for some reason, none more important than the movie’s final credits fast approaching, the lead female finally became aware to the shock of no one but themselves that the man of their dreams had been right beside them the whole time. Whether it was their awkward colleague, their best friend or their hot neighbour, the similarity always seemed to lie in the fact that they had been there all along. It still surprised her to this day when she thought back to that moment, the girl who had scoffed at the predictability of the aforementioned films found herself in the position of their copy and pasted female leads. A regular Sally lost at a New Year’s party without Harry by her side, or the run of the mill Kathleen yearning for the love of her life who ended up being the business rival she had previously despised.
And yet, there she was, sitting on her bed still in her sweat drenched clothing, wondering what the hell had just happened. It didn’t feel half as dramatic or shock inducing, but the parallels were evident in the way her heart was beating just a little bit too fast, paired with the butterflies in her stomach that couldn’t be blamed entirely as the aftermath of her physical exertion from earlier on.
Sana had been shooting mindlessly at the net since the sun’s rays were still bright and beating down on her. A layer of sweat had developed on her skin, causing her clothing to stick uncomfortably to her body, but she kept going, the stress of her day gradually disappearing with every swish of the ball exiting the basket. The sky was no longer clear and blue, its hues blending into shades of purple and pink as the sun slowly disappeared below the horizon. Her movements became more lethargic and slowed, but she kept going, fully intending to beat her personal record before she left. As she lowered her stance in preparation for the next shot, she felt a presence behind her.
“You seem to get better every time I see you. A vast improvement from your earlier days.” Sana turned her head in the direction of the backhanded compliment, smiling lightly after realizing its source.
“Someone has to keep Elias from thinking he’s God’s gift to basketball whenever he wins against you guys.” she retorted. Yousef laughed good naturedly, knowing that the jab in her words was meant to be teasing if not completely accurate.
“You wound me.” he deadpanned, placing a hand over his heart. He held out his hands, waiting for Sana to throw him the ball.
It wasn’t the first time they had played together. At one point during Elias’s relationship with his friends, Sana had gradually started to join them in their games, and when no one objected it became a given that any time they went out to play, Sana would be there with them. However, this was the first time that she engaged in a face off, or anything really, one on one with Yousef, the most soft spoken of her brother’s raucous companions. Unlike Mutassim or Adam who she had no problem arguing with in a manner similar to her petty fights with Elias, or Mikael who would debate with her over political matters and discuss world news with, she rarely found herself talking to Yousef outside of the core group save for a wave of acknowledgement or simple greeting. The idea that she would ever be playing basketball with Yousef as her sole opponent was not only something unimaginable, but also kind of awkward.
Still, she tossed the ball into his awaiting hands with a little more force than anticipated, causing him to reel backward momentarily before recovering and flashing her a grin.
“Alright enough talk. Show me what you got girl .” He said the last sentence in English, cueing a chuckle from Sana before she sobered up and put on her game face.
It was more of a lighthearted back and forth then an actual game, both of them allowing the other to get their shots in with little interference. The silence shrouded them in a blanket of comfortable warmth. It wasn’t awkward like Sana had feared, rather it relaxed her into a state of mindlessness where the world ceased to exist outside the court, herself and Yousef, who would softly smile at her every time they made eye contact. In those instances, Sana felt her pulse quicken, a blush arising to taint her cheeks that she would later blame on the game’s nonexistent intensity, before quickly averting her gaze and focusing on the ball instead of the way Yousef would bite his lip after unsuccessfully blocking her shot or how he would messily brush back a lock of hair when it fell out of the confines of his bandana. After a long pause between shots where the ball had strayed off the court and Yousef had gone to fetch it, Sana looked up to the sky shocked to see that night was beginning to settle in, almost all the natural light that was visible before replaced with the glow radiating from lamps lining the street.
“I didn’t realize it was already this late.” she glanced towards Yousef who echoed her thoughts as if he recognized the surprise in her face. He bounced the ball, approaching the bench nearby before sitting down on it, looking at her expectantly. The exhaustion that had accumulated after playing for a good portion of the day finally caught up to her as she sat down beside him, shoulders sagging.
"Wow I can’t believe I managed to tire out Sana ‘God’s gift to basketball’ Bakkoush, I guess that title belongs to me now right?” Sana glared at him, softening at the twinkle in his eyes and lilt of his lips. Had he always been this good looking?
“Don’t get too confident, I went easy on you today. Should’ve caught me a few hours before you did.” she said. He gazed at her, with a mixture of awe and something she couldn’t quite pinpoint. Growing shyer under his unrelenting stare, she looked away, brushing at the imaginary dirt on her knees. They sat for a while, waiting until their breaths became steady while Sana’s heart thumped on erratically.
“You’ve been here the whole day?” he questioned, eyes widening at the sheer idea. She turned to look at him in his tired state, a result of only a fraction of the time she had spent on the court, amused. Yousef had removed his bandana to wipe at the sweat on his neck, the hair previously swept away from his face now falling around to frame it. The stubble on his chin was somehow more pronounced in the dark, causing him to look older, more mature. Sana who had grown accustomed to seeing Yousef as she grew up simply as one of Elias’s annoying friends was assessing him the same way her friends would evaluate potential hookups and boyfriends. It should have felt odd and a little strange considering she had always considered the boys as extensions of Elias himself, but suddenly Yousef wasn’t Elias’s friend anymore.
Yousef was just a boy, looking at her in a way she realized she had always yearned to be looked at, and her, just a girl hopelessly trying not to reciprocate.
After a few beats, it occurred to Sana that she hadn’t responded to his previous remark. She grabbed the ball out of his hands and started bouncing it next to her casually, hoping that it would calm her down.
“Some people binge watch TV, others nap while someone else might find solace in their friends and family,” she paused, resting the ball in her lap before continuing. “For me, playing basketball is how I relax. Anything could be happening, there can be countless problems in my life and everything might be shit, but when I’m on the court it’s just me, and the only thing that matters is whether or not I can make the next basket, and if I can’t make it once, I can just keep trying until I do.” she tilted her face to meet his eyes when he didn’t respond only to be met with the same look she had been avoiding.
“I can understand that.” he murmured softly. They stared at one another, neither moving, both afraid to break the spell that had lulled them into a state of perpetual contentment. In the end, he walked her back home despite Sana’s insistence on going alone. He remarked that he was supposed to meet up with Elias anyway. Of course it was Elias who he came for she scolded herself before she could allow her disappointment at the thought to show on her face.
“Today was nice.” Yousef had stopped abruptly in front of the Bakkoush residence before they climbed on the stairs leading up to the house. “I’m glad I bumped into you.”
"I had a good time too.” Sana replied. Waiting for the other person to say something, both stood in silence, Yousef shuffling his feet nervously and Sana glancing around, not sure where to look. Finally, he cleared his throat and began to speak again.
“We shoul-” he was cut off by sound of the front door to Sana’s house opening and laughter disrupting the moment, startling them both.
"Yousef! My man there you are! What took you so long?”
Elias looked between his friend and sister suspiciously. Sana became aware of their proximity and how it all probably looked to her brother who had interrupted. Before he could remark on their closeness, Yousef interjected.
“Sorry I was running late when I bumped into Sana on her way home.” Sana, simultaneously relieved and saddened that Yousef had turned their night together into a simple coincidence, glanced at Elias who seemed satisfied with the explanation. He wrapped an arm around his friend dragging him inside and filling him in on what he missed. Yousef looked back at her apologetically, holding her gaze until he had disappeared from Sana’s sight. She entered her house shortly after, kissing her dad on the cheek and saying hi to her mom, immediately rushing to her bedroom lest she encounter one of the boys.
The first time she realized she may have feelings for Yousef was the first time she found herself wondering if maybe Nora Ephron was onto something. It was the first time she considered Yousef as a man and not a boy Elias happened to be friends with. It was the first time she felt that maybe her girlfriends were justified in their hopeless yearning regarding boys that were statistically likely to end up breaking their hearts anyway.
It was the first time she found herself alone with Yousef, but it definitely wouldn’t be the last.