Chapter Text
Evan disliked his roommate--scratch that, Evan hated his roommate. Richard. Even his name pointed to the fact he was a dick. He booted Evan from the room at all hours--really whenever he wanted to have a girl over. So most nights Evan found himself in the undergraduate library, hiding from the rest of the student body.
At least it sort of helped with his anxiety about not getting all his work done because in the library there wasn’t really much else to do but work or read. He’d worked ahead in most of his classes, completing assignments off the syllabus just to have something to do.
Tonight was different though, for some reason he found himself just tired of working on school work. So, he fell back on his favorite fascination; trees. The library had a rather sizeable botany section, with an entire shelf just for trees. Apparently Dendrology was a popular enough to warrant an entire bookshelf--granted it was a small bookshelf, but a bookshelf nonetheless.
Evan tries not to jump up and down with glee when he starts examining all the titles, most of them were not books he had previously read. He decides to just start at the beginning, pulling out a book entitled American Canopy: Trees, Forests, And The Making of A Nation. He opens the book, already reading the first few pages.
~~~
Jared had a love-hate relationship with his off-campus apartment. He loved having the entire place to himself, but he detested the long walk to and from class and his job in the library. He liked the peace of shelving the books, and he could sit and work while waiting for the return bin in his section to fill up.
He’d noticed that Evan had been frequenting the library more and more, but had yet to work up the courage to say something. Evan was frequently working, but tonight it looked as if he was pleasure reading. He was engrossed in a book, his eyes flying over the paper.
Jared was working on his photography class project, editing some of his better pictures. He had to take 200 pictures a week and turn in the best 20. Most of his pictures were of scenery, very few of them containing people.
Unwittingly, Jared found his eyes darting up to look at Evan, he hadn’t moved all night. Jared looks at his watch, it was already after midnight and well approaching one o’clock. That alone raised a number of questions. Evan hated walking alone, especially in the dark. Without thinking about it, or it registering that Evan would know they went to the same school, Jared’s feet were in motion.
Evan looked up, caught off guard when someone pulled out the chair across from him. His look of surprise only increased when he realized it was Jared who was sitting across from him.
“E-Evan. I, uh, shit, fuck. Sorry. I--” Jared doesn’t know what to say. What did you say to someone when the last words you had said to them a year ago were ‘fuck you’?
Evan’s brows were furrowed, “J-Jared, what, um, what’re you doing here?” He sounded more confused than anything, and Jared considered that a small victory.
“Well, you see, I might, um, work here? And I might’ve noticed that you, um, you come here a lot?” He winces and smacks his hand on his forehead when it comes out wrong. “Shit. Fuck. I didn’t mean it to sound like that. Um. Sorry,” he doesn’t elaborate and Evan just stares at him, confused, setting his book aside. Jared tries to look at the title but Evan shoves it behind some school bags and out of his line of sight.
Evan was fidgeting nervously, he wanted to apologize to Jared, still feeling guilty over the way things ended between them.
“Um, please don’t--please don’t be freaked out, but I’ve noticed that you come here a lot at night, and you stay really late, and, um, is--is everything okay with your roommate--er sorry, it’s not really my place to ask that.” Jared wasn’t sure where exactly he was going with it but then Evan’s giggling a little bit and blushing darkly as he tries to cover it up with a cough.
“Sorry, it’s just, um, I noticed that you--that you apologize almost as much as I do?” He’s looking down at his lap, avoiding Jared’s gaze as his face heats up. He coughs nervously, “R-right, sorry, I’m h-here b-because my roommate, he’s k-kinda a d-dick,” he snickers to himself, only serving to further Jared’s confusion, “a-and he k-kicks me out wh-when he wants to have g-girls over.”
“And this happens often?” Jared was looking at him concerned. Evan just shrugs slightly, still not looking at him. “Y-you know--” he’s cut off by Evan’s phone vibrating loudly on the surface of the table. Evan looks between him and the phone nervously, unsure what to do. “It’s fine, you can check it, I’m sure--” he snaps his mouth closed, not wanting things to be like they were in high school.
Evan looks at him nervously before quickly looking at the screen on his phone. “I-it was my roommate, t-telling me I could come b-back.” He’s shuffling his things around awkwardly, almost packing up, but not wanting to be to blatant about it.
“H-hey, I, um, I remember how you used to, um, you used to not like to walk alone in the dark, and I could, um I could walk you back, and then walk to my apartment?”
Evan freezes and Jared’s heart stopped. Oh God, he’d just overstepped and now Evan was going to think he was weird and horrible and he’d never want to speak to Jared again. Shit, he’s been talking this whole time and Jared’s just been spacing.
“S-sorry, um, what--what did you say?” He blinks quickly, trying to refocus on their conversation.
“Oh, um, I-I said I didn’t want to be, um, be an inconvenience.” Evan’s voice is tentative as he scuffs the toe of his shoe on the ground. He’s got his bag all packed now and was just holding the book about trees, awkwardly trying to shuffle his way to the checkout.
“You’re not!” Jared insists vehemently before realizing that he needed to dial it back significantly. “My apartment is just beyond the dorms anyways,” he lies easily, hoping that Evan wouldn’t notice.
“O-okay. W-well if we’re both going the same direction any-anyways.” Evan checks out the book and puts it in his backpack along with the slip of paper the machine spit out. Jared grins happily, catching Evan by surprise. He returns the smile hesitantly, hooking his thumbs in the straps of his backpack to have something to do with his hands that wasn’t technically fidgeting.
“I’m sorry!” Both boys blurt at the same time, catching each other off guard.
“What’re you sorry for?” Jared demands, making Evan step back a bit with just his tone.
He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly before going to pull on the bottom of his shirt. “I-I was h-horrible to--to you l-last year. A-and I’m sorry. I-I’m sorry that I d-didn’t s-say anything a-after you l-left. I-I’m sorry f-for p-playing you, a-and for c-cutting you l-loose. A-and I’m j-just s-sorry.” His voice was wobbling horribly and Jared just wants to hug him for a week. Without thinking he takes a step towards Evan, who flinches back before wincing and immediately launching into another apology.
“No, no. Hey it’s fine, you don’t need to apologize if you don’t want me to hug you or if you don’t want me to do anything else.” Jared feels horrible. Suddenly he realizes why the words Evan used were familiar. He’d said those words to Evan. Yes, what Evan had done was wrong, but yelling at him wasn’t the way to solve the problem. He winces as he feels a million times worse. He takes a deep breath and composes himself, “I accept your apology Evan,” he says, knowing that Evan needed to hear those words.
“Now it’s my turn. I’m really sorry Evan. I was a horrible person in high school, and I treated you possibly the worst of all, and I’m so sorry, and all those times when I said it was just for insurance or this or that I was lying right through my teeth. I just didn’t want you to know how much I wanted to be your friend or you might realize how great you were and then I’d be left in the dust and then here came all of these people who loved you and I’m sorry that’s not an excuse and I’m rambling and shit. I’m just sorry.” He took a gasping breath and it takes him a few steps to realize that Evan had stopped. He was standing in the middle of the sidewalk, staring at Jared, an unreadable expression on his face.
He’s biting his lip and blinking at Jared, his eyes shining under the streetlamp. “Ev, you good?” the childhood nickname slips from his lips before he can stop it and Evan just keeps looking at him, his thoughts racing through his head. He takes a deep breath and nods, taking a few quick steps to catch up with Jared.
“I’m good. Um, this--this is me. C-could you t-text me when you get home?” He says and immediately winces, “s-sorry, that sounded--that sounded w-weird. I’m just--I worry.” Evan looks like he’s fighting an internal war and Jared lightly brushes his arm.
“I’ll text you.” He hears himself promising, internally kicking himself, now Evan would know he lied about where his apartment was.
“Th-thank you Jared. F-for walking me, f-for apologizing, f-for putting u-up with my a-anxious t-tendencies, e-even if they are st-stupid.”
Jared can’t tell if Evan’s blushing or if it’s just the lighting, but it only serves to confuse him more. “Of course, for all of those things, and it’s not stupid,” he takes a deep breath, “it’s nice that you’re worried.” He risks a glance up at Evan who was staring at him, mouth agape. “R-right then. You’re probably tired and I should get home.” He stands on the sidewalk and waves awkwardly when Evan turns to look at him, standing in the doorway. After he was sure Evan was gone, he takes off in the opposite direction. Maybe if he runs it could be believable that he lived just down the block.
~~~
Evan had known Jared was lying, but he was too nervous to call him on it. So many things about the evening’s interaction had made him anxious, for any number of reasons. When he still hadn’t gotten a text from Jared ten minutes later he starts to fidget. Would Jared think he was clingy if he texted to ask if he was okay? Evan concludes that he probably would, so he sits on his bed and fidgets.
The room reeks and Evan tries to pry open the window as quietly as possible Richard was already asleep, snoring loudly. The cool air calms him somewhat, letting him take a deep breath and finally get ready for bed. He lays down, his plugged in phone next to him. Finally a text from Jared buzzes in. It had taken him fifteen minutes to get home.
FROM JARED 1:37 ‘Hi Evan! Sry it took me so long to text u but I was running back to my apartment and then my stupid bag tore so I had to try and carry all my shit home after picking it up and I’m sorry if you worried.’
Another text buzzes in a few seconds later.
FROM JARED 1:37 ‘That was dumb. Y would u b worried about me. Just forget I said that part. Sorry again. Night.’
This side of Jared was new. In all the years they had been friends, Evan had never seen him as anything less than totally secure. He goes to reply and just stares at the empty text box.
TO JARED 1:43 ‘It wasn’t dumb. I was worried. I just didn’t want to seem clingy or be annoying. I’m glad you made it back to your apartment okay, sorry about your bag though.’
Jared smiles slightly at the message from Evan, he was so formal when it came to texting.
FROM JARED 1:44 ‘Its what I get 4 buying a cheap bag. Thx tho.’
FROM JARED 1:44 ‘Sry 4 makin u worry again.’
Jared curses himself for not being able to collect all of his thoughts into one text while waiting anxiously for Evan to reply.
TO JARED 1:47 ‘It’s okay. Thank you for walking me home’
The lack of punctuation at the end of Evan’s text had Jared worried until another one buzzed in a moment later.
TO JARED 1:48 ‘even if your apartment is across campus, not right by the dorms like you said it was.’
Evan was chewing on his lip so much that it was starting to bleed but he didn’t care. He doesn’t breathe until Jared’s reply comes in, worried that Jared would be mad at him or make fun of him.
FROM JARED 1:49 ‘Sorry abt lying abt that, I just didnt want u to have to walk home alone.’
A warm feeling spreads across Evan’s chest and he smiles softly. It had been a long time since someone had cared about him. Sure, his mom cared, but she was far enough away and busy enough that they couldn’t talk regularly.
TO JARED 1:55 ‘Thank you. I have a class at nine tomorrow though, so I should probably go to bed.’
Jared breathes out a sigh of relief when Evan’s reply buzzes in, he was worried he had freaked Evan out or screwed up his second chance before he was even sure that, that was what this was.
FROM JARED 1:56 ‘ Ofc. Gnight.’
TO JARED 1:57 ‘Goodnight!’